Bakovnetski Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 I heard that the new owner is Paris Hilton. The club will be the subject of her new reality TV Channel 4 programme "My Best British Soccer Sh*g" and will spend weeks going through the first and reserve teams (with tasks such as shooting practice, heading balls, taking it on the chest, standing jump, running on, pulling up short, coming from behind, etc) and whittling down the field to the "last man standing". I understand that JP Saejs is the early favourite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wade Garrett Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 I hear that a photocopier salesman with money to burn is going to buy the club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzo Posted 15 June, 2009 Share Posted 15 June, 2009 I've heard that our new owner will be TV legend Bruce Forsyth. He will employ Jimmy Tarbuck as Chairman, Ken Dodd as Director of Football and our manager will be the ghost of Elvis Presley. The players new training regime will involve marathon beer-ups and kebab eating sessions and we will ground share with Barcelona. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Son of Bob Posted 16 June, 2009 Share Posted 16 June, 2009 I have it on good authority that the secret 'money man' behind the Pinnacle bid is in fact the British Government. They will buy the club with a long term view to us becoming the 'showcase team' for British football around the world. Income tax will rise by 7p in the pound freeing up almost £1 billion to fund a 'ground up' rebuild of the club. The best 25 players in the world will be purchased creating a team of 'Hampshire Gallacticos' and such will be our popularity, we will be fighting off the very best managers in the world. We will be able to pick and chose our management team with gay abandon. The whole of the Above Bar area will be flattened with plans for a 120,000 seater ground in the town centre with an integrated shopping centre, airport, casino and 5 star hotel. St Marys will become our training ground as our increased popularity would lead to 10's of thousands turning up for the training sessions alone. Due to the massive annual funding by the government there will be little need for self generated income so season tickets will be £20 each and entrance to the games just £1. Half time beer and food will be free with a bar stretching round the entire concourse meaning waiting times will be down to under 30 seconds. Honest... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGTL Posted 16 June, 2009 Share Posted 16 June, 2009 Gordon out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SW11_Saint Posted 16 June, 2009 Author Share Posted 16 June, 2009 Okay, nothing to do with Saints, but bl00dy funny nonetheless, check it out... I guess you could subtitle it to reflect us/Rupert... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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