Today's business report

[Master Bates]

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged. Balloon prices were inflated. Horses began to stabilise.

[Arizona]

Caravans are trailing, soft drinks were 7 up at the start of trading.

[Pancake]

"diapers"?

 

Perrrrleazzzzze...

[bridge too far]

Measured trading in bathroom scales and rulers

 

Good outlook for windows

 

No real movement in balances and stabilisers

[Pancake]

Drunk Chicks went down which then provided a sharp rise in C*cks.

[Jillyanne]

What??????????????????

[ericofarabia]

Viagra sales stiffened at the news that Blow Jobs are going down and Hand Jobs are fluctuating up and down.

[Pancake]

Drydockings were re-floated today.

[bridge too far]

There are reports that clocks and watches are being wound up.

[Arizona]

Southampton Leisure Holdings PLC are being taken over.

 

Nah, that's getting a bit too silly now.

[bridge too far]

It is also reported that stockings have been suspended.

[Weston Super Saint]

Tights have come down.

[Hatch]

Airlines are down

[Durleyfos]

Sperm counts were down and blood preasures was up.

[Weston Super Saint]

Update : Horses have moved from stabilised to reigned in.

[Rattlehead]

What??????????????????

 

Jillstain's IQ is in freefall with the prospect of a recovery to double figures looking nigh on impossible.

[Master Bates]

Rattles are becoming a little shaky.

[saint francis]

Kung fu actor bids left hanging, expected to swing to a loss.

[Weston Super Saint]

Chariots are swinging low[e]

[bridge too far]

Chariots are swinging low[e]

 

That's cos Rupert operates in a Bear market.

[Saint in Paradise]

....

Edited 4 June, 2009 by Saint in Paradise