Block 18 Posted 11 May, 2009 Share Posted 11 May, 2009 New Standard Operating Procedures released today please learn BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part: (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE COAL GRILL. More routine... (6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery. (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat Important again: ( THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE COAL GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine... (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts, mentioning how everything tastes best off a coal grill. (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaramanga Posted 11 May, 2009 Share Posted 11 May, 2009 very good Dave.....but we both know your wife would kill you if she read that!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Block 18 Posted 11 May, 2009 Author Share Posted 11 May, 2009 Good job I poked her eyes out then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Keith Posted 11 May, 2009 Share Posted 11 May, 2009 this is wrong. it doesnt mention strawberry cheesecake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 11 May, 2009 Share Posted 11 May, 2009 nor does it mention the wearing of an apron with a humurous picture or slogan. (of which , I have 2) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Keith Posted 11 May, 2009 Share Posted 11 May, 2009 nor does it mention putting your back out whilst carrrying the coal to the BBQ from the garage, and nor does it mention all the men crowding round praying the fire doesnt go out and spurting lighter fluid on it every 10 seconds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaramanga Posted 11 May, 2009 Share Posted 11 May, 2009 nor does it mention the wearing of an apron with a humurous picture or slogan. (of which , I have 2) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 11 May, 2009 Share Posted 11 May, 2009 oh noes, I thought my secret was safe.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Block 18 Posted 11 May, 2009 Author Share Posted 11 May, 2009 LOL at the mustard pouch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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