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Will it have any commentary Steve?
I think we should have the managers commentary. 'Get that bloody Hamster off the pitch now' Phil was shouting in despair, and then a large chuckle is heard from the opposing manager and his reply 'You can't Dubai he's paid for 45 minutes'
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OK finally esconced back in my cyber world at home and not on some ticking clock of an internet cafe, so time for my match report. Today's edition - Part one, The Build Up

 

First disappointment of the whole day was that the Mega Store didn't have any tracksuits left, so I had to get a training top 25 quid and shorts (ouch 20 quid) in order to make my 1.50 car boot sale footie boots look the part in the warm up. (Mind you thanks to BOGOF I got one of those really neat Grey & Red Waterproof Lightweight Jacket thingys)

 

The whole arriving thing, lots of us sitting/standing nervously in the reception, a few doing the Hi I'm xyz intro thing but most lost in a world of WTF am I doing here-ness

 

Granty doing the green armbands and then the SECOND bit of bad news - No alcohol in the changing rooms arrgh there goes the whole spraying champagne thing and OH NO I'm gonna be stuck with the Jaegermeister again...

 

But no time to dwell on that as suddenly we're off through the magic door into the hallway and first sight of THE DRESSING ROOM!

 

The looks on the lads faces when they saw their shirts hanging up with their names on the back, the stunned stares as everyone photographed everything (including the cr*ppers FFS) and suddenly as manager it hits you - How the fook am I going to remember all the names & faces? and what names do I call them????.

 

A few sheepish jokes about the tactics board (well I did lay it out in a 4-4-2 before Minty played with it for the photos) a big pose with the Dubai Saints Flag (that the execs banned from SMS) and then it is time to go out to warm up...

 

Now what? Do I do the anal assertive bit and demand they all do proper warm ups? - or just let them (AND ME!) all do what we wanted? - BLAST THE BALL AT THE GOAL!

 

So yep we did that and then I had the first Psyche warfare moment - The Flints were just kicking it around so we have a larf and off we go all proper stretching on the touchline some dancing across the pitch then get the youngsters in the middle for a game of tippy tappy - boy we sure showed them!

 

Then it's off to get into the gear, have to say BOY I wished I could have been going out with them, but it was clear from the warm up - this was going to be REAL football!

 

We get changed, a few words about this being the biggest night of their lives, play with brains not egos keep it simple but most of all ENJOY IT- some US Marine style HooYahs and the bell goes and whoosh off they go being led out by the captains.

 

I tell you the Cheshire Cat had NOTHING on the grins on those boys faces, I swear most of them stood 7 feet tall as well, (ESPECIALLY Hamster) there seemed to be music and amazingly a roar from the crowd.

 

Fair play to LLS & Co, they were sat behind the home team bench dispensing abuse and advice all night long, BUT to be fair they did deliver a couple of bottles of Magners to me (in each half!).

 

I will admit I did respect my important position and made sure I was sitting in JP's seat when I drank it.

 

Then suddenly photos are over, Granty has tossed up or whatever and whoosh Game on.

 

I make a few jokes about being on TV and not conceding in the first 35 & 38 seconds and oh NO... 0-1 to them, we look a total mess WHAT TO DO???????????? Arggh

 

Part Two when I've had some Cab Sav later tonight or after brekkie in the morning

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Nice start Phil.I'll look forward to some more that your ghost writer puts out. Only doing the stretching and running as a joke, Lol . Old Fos1 was lapping it up and doing set plays and little routines.You lot did look the part. I did point it out to the lads and they certainly enjoyed watching, and then quickly went back to blasting the ball as hard as they could into the upper tiers of the Northam. Bp our keeper had his hands stung a couple of times...its unusual to have wasps at this time of year. You did look like you meant business in your kit and full respect in that, there was me in my jeans trendy top and a pair of training shoes. No doubt the crowd thought that we were being managed by someone just thrown out of the Concorde .I said to somebody 'bloody hell, Phil is taking this serious he has even brought a proper coach with him' at which time I was informed that it was #### #### or Fos one of the team.

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Nice start Phil.I'll look forward to some more that your ghost writer puts out. Only doing the stretching and running as a joke, Lol . Old Fos1 was lapping it up and doing set plays and little routines.You lot did look the part. I did point it out to the lads and they certainly enjoyed watching, and then quickly went back to blasting the ball as hard as they could into the upper tiers of the Northam. Bp our keeper had his hands stung a couple of times...its unusual to have wasps at this time of year. You did look like you meant business in your kit and full respect in that, there was me in my jeans trendy top and a pair of training shoes. No doubt the crowd thought that we were being managed by someone just thrown out of the Concorde .I said to somebody 'bloody hell, Phil is taking this serious he has even brought a proper coach with him' at which time I was informed that it was #### #### or Fos one of the team.

 

 

Well I did say in the whole build up thingy that if I was to be a PROPER manager I'd need some Bald Headed Hard Looking bloke on the bench :p

 

I also believe that one of our lot actually managed to hit the TV Screen above the Chapel from about 12 yards out.....

 

I did manage to score with a rasping ground level shot. Well, when I say rasping, I think it actually crossed the line thanks to the earth's rotation..

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Well I did say in the whole build up thingy that if I was to be a PROPER manager I'd need some Bald Headed Hard Looking bloke on the bench :p

 

I also believe that one of our lot actually managed to hit the TV Screen above the Chapel from about 12 yards out.....

 

I did manage to score with a rasping ground level shot. Well, when I say rasping, I think it actually crossed the line thanks to the earth's rotation..

Well for once I cant beat your teams shot that hit the screen Lol. I expected a bit of flak from some of the posters from here but the only bit i got was from Fos and it was good banter.I only tried 2 shots both on target but went off my foot like a damp squib. I decided to call it a day then as I didnt want to lose all their respect immediately
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:p just telling it as it was

 

Who was it nearly hit the tv screen?

 

Not me sir. I put one in off the post though so was happy with that. Oh and crashed a header off the crossbar. Scoring those goals before the game was important as i knew it was gonna be tricky during the game even with my mate in the crowd shouting encouragement at me to get in the box every five minutes!

 

Keep it coming with the summation though...tis a nice reminder...

 

Bit of a regret that i didn't take a carp in the toilets thinking about it...

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A few sheepish jokes about the tactics board (well I did lay it out in a 4-4-2 before Minty played with it for the photos) a big pose with the Dubai Saints Flag (that the execs banned from SMS) and then it is time to go out to warm up...

Er, that would've been Al de Man, seeing as I was still on my way to the ground at that point!

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Mr Steven Grant Esq. :

 

_L1_0420.jpg

 

:smt081

That was 2nd half, not the warm up I think that was 1 of Granty's more dangerous attempts, Lol he was very clinical with the goal he did score how he managed to get his shot hit a dovot and then for the ball to jump up and over the keeper took real precision.
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Nice to know the "Home" team did a warm up, have to say I was just concentrating on not falling over and looking a plank in the warm up for the aways, didn't have a clue what they were up to.

 

Also, the "not taking a shot during the warm up" worked out nicely for me, 1-0after 71 seconds (I've got it on video from my girlfriend's camera with the timing). Hamster's first knee-high terrible tackle was after 25 seconds by the way, just off-screen on my recording though, you can't even hear me yelling "For F'CK'S sake!!!!". ;)

 

Two minor regrets - firstly the brisk turnaround from warm-up to match start left me no time to empty my bladder and bowels (in fact I didn't even have my laces done up) so I was carrying about 3lbs extra all half, and secondly that I forgot to get a photo in front of the advert board that they use for team pen pictures...

 

...was brill though, despite losing to two goals in the last 5 minutes, or the "true Saints experience" as we were saying after the match. :D

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Nice to know the "Home" team did a warm up, have to say I was just concentrating on not falling over and looking a plank in the warm up for the aways, didn't have a clue what they were up to.

 

Also, the "not taking a shot during the warm up" worked out nicely for me, 1-0after 71 seconds (I've got it on video from my girlfriend's camera with the timing). Hamster's first knee-high terrible tackle was after 25 seconds by the way, just off-screen on my recording though, you can't even hear me yelling "For F'CK'S sake!!!!". ;)

 

Two minor regrets - firstly the brisk turnaround from warm-up to match start left me no time to empty my bladder and bowels (in fact I didn't even have my laces done up) so I was carrying about 3lbs extra all half, and secondly that I forgot to get a photo in front of the advert board that they use for team pen pictures...

 

...was brill though, despite losing to two goals in the last 5 minutes, or the "true Saints experience" as we were saying after the match. :D

 

What a ball through to you ;).

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What a ball through to you ;).

 

Nice of the right back to sit five yards too deep so I could stand 3 yards past the other defenders onside, I thought - still, was a very nice pass, as I proved at the start of the second half by slicing one to the keeper when Foxy was in a similar situation. :)

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The story of the day part two...

 

Well, I suppose it was inevitable really, after the magical EricofArabia moment in the pub for the Wolves game - well at least not likely to concede a goal in the first 35 seconds like we did the last tiohsh1t...

35 + 38 seconds makes 73, and the Flints score after - approximately 71 seconds....

 

Oh cr8p, now what to do. The Magners isn't gonna help, the boys behind the bench are hooting their derision, we look an absolute shambles. No sign of our midfield and quizzical looks from the two centre backs, a few plaintiff attempts to yell back out to them about holding their shape and their line doesn't quite work, then amazingly, the Jam man (yes that Harrod's Strawberry Jam is delicious) Hamster drops back into the hole just in front of the CB's - (although wasn't so much a hole more like a gaping chasm) and suddenly we seem to be a little less over-run.

Silversaint & Saint Kenny start to push up more and amazingly we have used my advanced telepathic skills to morph into a wing back formation, suddenly mini-DP is diving in making last ditch clearances, DarrenleTiss is winning everything in the air and we look like we can actually play this game.

And then I notice we are starting to play with some confidence, oh cr*p again, a couple of times instead of belting the ball safely into touch we start to try and nutmeg 3 players at once with no cover. Works the first couple of times and then arrgh mistake on the touchline pass bang woomph 2-0.

Suddenly the full horror of what JP & Wotte must have gone through leaps to mind - you want to scream WHY DIDN'T YOU PUT IT INTO ROW Z YOU NUMPTY, but then you remember you aren't a spectator any longer and you smile, do the big c'mon lads heads up, stylish stuff, keep it going... Oh and of course the abuse is getting louder behind the bench and I'm being blinded by Nickh as he tries not to let his grin show too much.

Then we sort of had a shot, I even recall their keeper made a save and suddenly the ball is in the back of THEIR net - phew, no great celebrations more like a FF for that.

And then again, the whole trying to be too clever on our own goal line, I'm yelling OUT OUT OUT and suddenly we've lost the ball, a despairing interception, ball hit onto hand and penalty. Can it possibly get worse? yep, it was my lad who gave it away... I look around and realise I had forgotten to put the drinks bottles into a reachable location, only bottle to kick is my Magners - sod that.

Now what the heck do you do? I can't pull anyone off, I've tried the telepathic trick, Hamster has been stopping the rot the two goals were soft mistakes, do I push him back into a more advanced midfield role.

None of the above, the poor guy is racked with cramp and has to come off, the sub is on and straight into midfield. DLT & the Disintegrator look a bit exposed at firt but then work out the new angles and suddenly we're bringing the ball out of defence, some pace, control and vision, bl**dy hell my lad can actually PLAY, then a neat passing movement through midfield, the ball into the box and YES 3-2.

The strange thing is that all of this seems to have taken about five minutes, the only sign of time passing is the level of the Magners and it's half time...

 

Now what? Do I take some assertive action and start telling these guys what they should do or should I go for the motivational....

 

The story continues tomorrow after I get slated for an ITK leak I need to post ciao chaps

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Hamster's first knee-high terrible tackle was after 25 seconds by the way, just off-screen on my recording though, you can't even hear me yelling "For F'CK'S sake!!!!". ;)

 

Are you ever going to let this go? :rolleyes:

 

This will drive you insane if you don't deal with it now T9.

I only ever apologise once normally, as when I do it is sincere do you really want me to aplogise again? I ask as it will be just as sincere as the apology issued immediatley after your dive, but if that is what you want just ask ....and I'll think about it ;)

 

It was a fair interception anyway. as your knee height is not necessarily the same as my knee height. I am sure that I heard a quick intake of breath from the crowd though, and in my early career my timing was much beter but still caused a few on pitch fisticuffs as opposing lumps couldn't handle the fact that a short arse had embarrased them, you took it quite well actually. I think the video will show that it was just my timing as my technique has always been text book Mark Dennis.

Sorry, hope you are okay really, it was a bit naughty but 100% not intentional. We still mates?

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Thanks for the shirt Steve, quality that. I've managed to figure out 16/23 signatures on the shirt.. Do you have any idea what players signed it or who is who's signature? Some of them have left a squad number but I've had an educated guess for 3-4 of them.

Edited by Griffo
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Are you ever going to let this go? :rolleyes:

 

This will drive you insane if you don't deal with it now T9.

I only ever apologise once normally, as when I do it is sincere do you really want me to aplogise again? I ask as it will be just as sincere as the apology issued immediatley after your dive, but if that is what you want just ask ....and I'll think about it ;)

 

It was a fair interception anyway. as your knee height is not necessarily the same as my knee height. I am sure that I heard a quick intake of breath from the crowd though, and in my early career my timing was much beter but still caused a few on pitch fisticuffs as opposing lumps couldn't handle the fact that a short arse had embarrased them, you took it quite well actually. I think the video will show that it was just my timing as my technique has always been text book Mark Dennis.

 

Sorry, hope you are okay really, it was a bit naughty but 100% not intentional. We still mates?

He is a moaner, don't worry Hamster. I managed to injure him and was quite happy with that, his fault for kicking my boot :D

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Injury updates?

 

So everyone recovered?

 

I cannot BELIEVE it - bl**dy 1.50 boots - in such a disorganised rush last week, never time to dump them in the washing machine or thought to give them a sanitising spray - and I've only gone and got a nasty dose of athlete's foot from them BSTDS!

 

At least I have a souvenir of the day grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Injury updates?

 

So everyone recovered?

 

I cannot BELIEVE it - bl**dy 1.50 boots - in such a disorganised rush last week, never time to dump them in the washing machine or thought to give them a sanitising spray - and I've only gone and got a nasty dose of athlete's foot from them BSTDS!

 

At least I have a souvenir of the day grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

This dispels the myth that only athletes get it then.

 

Anyway, a much better souvenir than the one I brought home form that Club 18-30's holiday in Ibiza back in the 80's, that took a while to clear up I can tell ya.

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He is a moaner, don't worry Hamster. I managed to injure him and was quite happy with that, his fault for kicking my boot :D

 

Oh was that you ? Cost me a hat-trick AND a top-corner screamer, y'sod.

 

I'm only messing re: the Hamster "tackle", it mostly missed.

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The BIG day out Part Three

 

It's half time, we've played some football but let's face it they are better organised than us Nick doesn't just look the part after all.

When we've played the ball out of defence through the middle we've looked good, but that final third thingy that bugged Saints all year is nagging at me.

Big Dave up front has been winning just about every knock-on header but they always go forwards to where he was supposed to be, with Granty still looking dangerous cutting in from the wing.

 

Time for the talk. What to say, it's got to be done, it's CLICHE time.

 

You're playing great football, keep it simple, get rid of the ball though - don't mess around in our own third. Keep the shape, enjoy this moment you are playing really well, all that stuff comes out along with a clapping of the hands and random patting of backs, then the buzzer goes, another HooYah and they're off.

 

But a problem looms, my lad at CB has to get the last train to Oxford at 9pm so was about to get changed, DLT calls me over and says he only thinks he can last to 75 minutes so can we bring the lad back on?

I say it's his call, it's his evening and then uh oh, how to get the lad to the station in time?

 

The boys are on the pitch, the game starts, where are the abusers? They could help - no sign of them - of course, they're outside having a fag! A panicked sprint through the concourse, some emergancy pulls on a smoke and a round of heavy negotiations and we have a volunteer by the name of Schumacher to get him away after the game - phew can relax again and focus on the game.

 

Fos1 is in at CB, he's looking the part, the bald-headed tough guy thing. We worry about Hamster - can we get him back on to finish his 45?

 

We look more comfortable now, the knock downs are replaced by the runs of Nexstar, he's through on goal OH NO! where was the clinical finish?

 

Scudamore is making an impact in midfield, granty keeps going, Baj limps out the fray another victim of the Nickh warm-up routines??

 

We're through again - arggh no, blinding save by their keeper, blinding save by bananaman in our goal, Griffo causing problems man this is a GOOD game of football!

 

20 mins left Fos1 looking for instructions to throw caution to the wind, keep your shape I reply, not yet, it will come (well something like that) another near miss for us ARRRGGHH - that's it the carefully positioned drinks bottles HAVE to take a kicking - they do.

DLT comes off - apart from a magic moment when the Lino & I share a joke as to whether a challenge had actually been in slow mo, he's played a blinder, he was everywhere. The lad is back on. Fos1 wants to push up, plenty of time, Hamster gets back into the action terrier like in midfield and covers back to allow fos to venture Liptakesque towards their box.

Somebody's moaning on the flints - how the FOOK do you get a yellow card in a game like this? They're losing it the composure's going.

 

10 mins left another circling motion with the hands to the ref and a thumbs up (sorry nick it WAS done) and BigDave is asking if I want him to go up front. To everyone's suprise, including my own I utter the immortal words - no Dave I want you to sit in the hole behind the front two, there's a lot of times when the ball is dropping in that area and you're the exact man to pick it all up.

 

Wow, I've gone to a 4-3-1-2 formation after slating it all year - wow that's the 3rd change of shape in one game - that's TWO more than JP in all his time here!

 

Big Dave starts nudging the ball on then a loose ball, a blistering shot from 47 yards which curves Ronaldoesque, the keeper leaves it, it hits the post the rebound is there and YEEESS an 85ish minute equaliser.

 

Oh that's great, the perfect end to a great day a 3-3 draw. A quick look at the watch, blimey, the lad's gotta get his skates on (so to speak) the ball's played forward and YESSSSSSSSSS OMG! YESS

 

ok I admit it I jumped up and down and clenched both fists and screeched and hugged the rest of the guys as if Saints had just scored an 89th minute winner. I look across at Nick, the shoulders have slumped. I think, oh no that isn't a fair way to end it, then I think YESSSSSSSSSSS!

 

The final whistle, damn not allowed champoo in the changing room, son sprints off loads of handshaking, hugs and grins on the pitch, well played's and after that - just a blur.

 

I seem to remember seeing sandwiches, I gave Granty the champoo he deserved it for the work, I rushed the lad out to Schumacher - it's already 8:45 and he makes the station in 7 minutes.

Suddenly the rumours start (wouldn't be a forum do without them) meeting in concourse bar, players lounge bar open and suddenly almost everyone has gone. The abusers call to say they have gone to Dockgate 4 I pass the word to the guys I see and whoosh back to Jury's Inn to dump the car, grab a lift to the bar and oh bliss those first 3 pints of Guinness tasted Soooo good.

 

We hear stories, they swap war wounds, but you know what? the real moments came as all of us just took a moment, stepped back and went OMG what just happened?

 

That evening was truly a Mastercard Moment - Priceless

 

Something I won't ever forget and you know when you normally get home from a trip and show people your "holiday snaps" their eyes glaze over?

Oh no, not this time, everyone I have sent the link to has said the same thing - wow, you lucky basta*ds

 

To everyone, well done, you made an old man very happy:-)

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Phil's report was great, apart from getting the timing of our 2nd and 3rd goals the wrong way around (there might have been a bit more debate about the taker if I was already on the hat-trick at that point!) and not noticing the "loose ball" for their 3rd came from a 50 yard clearance by their goalie when we were clean through. You have to wonder about the accuracy of his "legitimate substitution" report based on this alone !!!

 

Funny read nevertheless. I am greatly looking forward to the two post-match manager interviews if they're on the DVD. :D

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another circling motion with the hands to the ref and a thumbs up (end quote) Well in most games of football subs are not done during play and so the ref was wrong to allow it (I still think you did it when he was not looking as when I questioned the fact the ref looked totally confused) play had not stopped and so it was an illegal act. My players were not aware of the fact and i was only alerted when i saw the big lump of Big Dave chesting the ball down like Jordan of her breasts to slip a ball through.I was apolectic about it and the lino was unaware as well.

I still maintain my team were robbed and really we won 3-2 as the game was in disrepute when you put on your man.In fact it wouldnt surprise me if you didnt finish the game with 12 players on the pitch!!

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Phil's report was great, apart from getting the timing of our 2nd and 3rd goals the wrong way around (there might have been a bit more debate about the taker if I was already on the hat-trick at that point!) and not noticing the "loose ball" for their 3rd came from a 50 yard clearance by their goalie when we were clean through. You have to wonder about the accuracy of his "legitimate substitution" report based on this alone !!!

 

Funny read nevertheless. I am greatly looking forward to the two post-match manager interviews if they're on the DVD. :D

Well Im changing mine if you think that was great and didnt say the same about mine.You're dropped young man (said in my best Brian Clough voice)
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"DLT comes off - apart from a magic moment when the Lino & I share a joke as to whether a challenge had actually been in slow mo, he's played a blinder"

 

Well thankyou. My lack of pace was my biggest worry pre-match(and my complete lack of fitness) and the first 10 minutes did nothing to put me at ease... Somehow though I won a couple of headers and then adrenalin kicked in...Was a fantastic night and was honoured to have been coached by Big Phil.. Just looking forward to the dvd now, So I can laugh at some of my more comical moments..

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Great report Phil, and yes addmittedly my finishing was far from clinical, but I got there in the end (believe it was more like the 89th minute than the 85th ;) )
Well Phil told me you couldn't finish a bag of chips , until that ball came off your shin
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another circling motion with the hands to the ref and a thumbs up (end quote) Well in most games of football subs are not done during play and so the ref was wrong to allow it (I still think you did it when he was not looking as when I questioned the fact the ref looked totally confused) play had not stopped and so it was an illegal act. My players were not aware of the fact and i was only alerted when i saw the big lump of Big Dave chesting the ball down like Jordan of her breasts to slip a ball through.I was apolectic about it and the lino was unaware as well.

I still maintain my team were robbed and really we won 3-2 as the game was in disrepute when you put on your man.In fact it wouldnt surprise me if you didnt finish the game with 12 players on the pitch!!

 

I would like to point out the fact that i dropped to the floor with cramp and was receiving treatment and play was not stopped for this...so whilst two wrongs don't make a right...i would have come off when play was stopped but couldn't...

 

This does highlight the fact that the goals were scored after i came off the field of play which i was trying to glaze over but f::ck it...think it needs saying!

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I would like to point out the fact that i dropped to the floor with cramp and was receiving treatment and play was not stopped for this...so whilst two wrongs don't make a right...i would have come off when play was stopped but couldn't...

 

This does highlight the fact that the goals were scored after i came off the field of play which i was trying to glaze over but f::ck it...think it needs saying!

 

And whilst i should have been defending, i was helping you! Pah.

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Well Im changing mine if you think that was great and didnt say the same about mine.You're dropped young man (said in my best Brian Clough voice)

 

I am clearly trying to orchestrate a transfer to further my career. :rolleyes:

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Whilst I am in no way conceding the point about illegal subtitutionss, I would like to draw the neutrals attentions to the fact that shortly before the final moments of the game, the home team had TWO (not 1 but 2), players writhing in agony in the opposition half. Whilst supporters, coach and subs were screaming for the visitors to kick the ball out of play so that they could receive treatment, they decided to play on in the vain hope of breaking through the rock solid defence.

 

Anyone who does not believe in a greater being would have changed their mind had they witnessed God's intervention at this point. Bananaman surged forward from his line, cutting a swathe through his own defence. The power and force of his kick was not that of a mere mortal and the ball seemed to grow wings and flew upfield. Those previously crippled players (+ sub/s) took the form of Corinthians and in a move that Kipling would have struggled to put into verse, such was the elegance of the goalbound move. Justice was done and the best team won. FACT - END OF - PERIOD.

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Whilst I am in no way conceding the point about illegal subtitutionss, I would like to draw the neutrals attentions to the fact that shortly before the final moments of the game, the home team had TWO (not 1 but 2), players writhing in agony in the opposition half. Whilst supporters, coach and subs were screaming for the visitors to kick the ball out of play so that they could receive treatment, they decided to play on in the vain hope of breaking through the rock solid defence.

 

Anyone who does not believe in a greater being would have changed their mind had they witnessed God's intervention at this point. Bananaman surged forward from his line, cutting a swathe through his own defence. The power and force of his kick was not that of a mere mortal and the ball seemed to grow wings and flew upfield. Those previously crippled players (+ sub/s) took the form of Corinthians and in a move that Kipling would have struggled to put into verse, such was the elegance of the goalbound move. Justice was done and the best team won. FACT - END OF - PERIOD.

 

Note also that we had two injured players on the pitch for about 5 minutes at the end of the first half in similar circumstances - or would have done had Baj not collapsed in a heap and then run off the pitch before I could get off myself!

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