StuRomseySaint Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 ... when you are in a ****hole of a place? 1) They have a Cash Convertors and a Brighthouse. 2) Lots of other Cheque Cashing places. 3) Plenty of run-down pubs. 4) Lots of bookies. 5) Charity Shops 6) Polish Food Shops 7) Everyone walks with a limp. .... yes I have just described Shirley, I had to go to the bank so popped into Shirley, I forgot just why it is named the mutant mile and how many freaks live/shop in the area! :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 (edited) ... when you are in a ****hole of a place? 1) They have a Cash Convertors and a Brighthouse. 2) Lots of other Cheque Cashing places. 3) Plenty of run-down pubs. 4) Lots of bookies. 5) Charity Shops 6) Polish Food Shops 7) Everyone walks with a limp. .... yes I have just described Shirley, I had to go to the bank so popped into Shirley, I forgot just why it is named the mutant mile and how many freaks live/shop in the area! :shock: Lol, was just thinking before i got to the last sentence, 'bloody hell it's shirley' great description. Another one for you, 8 ) Many of the inhabitants wear a gharish blue and gold sports shirt with OKI written on the front. Edited 6 May, 2009 by Smirking_Saint wrong wording Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marsdinho Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 PMSL - I did exactly the same thing, as I was reading the post I was thinking of a witty remark about Shirley. Then there was the last sentence.... 9) Happy hour, in most pubs, is before mid day 10) Strangely over populated considering that people should be at work / school etc. 11) There is a queue outside Jim Rolf 12) There is a queue outside the "Hungry Diner" 13) You can hear sirens ALL the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_saints Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Every bloke and a unusually high percentage of females have visible tattoos. More skin heads than your average place. Tatty denim jackets are seen alot on both sexes. More obese people. Most people smell like ashtrays and more roll ups are smoked. White "sporty" trainers are a must, although due to being 10 years old, are now not white. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuRomseySaint Posted 6 May, 2009 Author Share Posted 6 May, 2009 It used to be a case in southampton that if the bendy-buses went there, then you shouldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mole Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 LOL, i too was thinking of Shirley before i'd finished reading the post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Reads a bit like the write up on chavtowns site. 14. Girls are all named Courtney, Chantelle or Chardonay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mole Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Don't forget the Lidl with MacDonalds just outside. Perfect for exclusive shopping and fine dining all in one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clapham Saint Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 ... when you are in a ****hole of a place? 1) They have a Cash Convertors and a Brighthouse. 2) Lots of other Cheque Cashing places. 3) Plenty of run-down pubs. 4) Lots of bookies. 5) Charity Shops 6) Polish Food Shops 7) Everyone walks with a limp. .... yes I have just described Shirley, I had to go to the bank so popped into Shirley, I forgot just why it is named the mutant mile and how many freaks live/shop in the area! :shock: 8 )a low proportion of the population with a university education? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saints_is_the_south Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 lol - i immediately thought of Shirley after reading 1-3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Even the pigeons wear a grubby black coat and have a limp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
INFLUENCED.COM Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Gone are the simple days of not knowing if you'd hit a Pigeon or a Rafherty when you threw a stone in Shirley precinct, I always see the same fat bird sat outside hungry Diner with a fag hanging out of its head, must be the chef. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draino76 Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 All of the above describes Grays, although the McDonalds closed down because of too much trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mole Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Is the Rising Sun, later renamed The Beautiful South still there? I had the dentists chair in there on my 21st. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopGun Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 All of the above describes Grays, although the McDonalds closed down because of too much trouble. And Grimsby where I was last week. All the people who were 50 looked 60, the 60 year olds looked 80 and the 70 year olds were dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mole Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 And Grimsby where I was last week. All the people who were 50 looked 60, the 60 year olds looked 80 and the 70 year olds were dead. This is generally the case in all the dingy northern towns, Leeds, manchester, Burnley etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
69 saint Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Is the Rising Sun, later renamed The Beautiful South still there? I had the dentists chair in there on my 21st. Yeah but its called the brass monkey now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mack rill Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Lol, was just thinking before i got to the last sentence, 'bloody hell it's shirley' great description. Another one for you, 8 ) Many of the inhabitants wear a gharish blue and gold sports shirt with OKI written on the front. With a premiership badge on it:heart::smt033 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 With a premiership badge on it:heart::smt033 'Tis a fair point i must admit. Though most of the teams with prem teams are dumps !!! Middlesborough, wigan etc etc I expect the prem will come calling for us just to beaut it up abit !!! (hmm think not) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jed1 Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 I always found lots of Charity shops a sign of affluence. Shows inhabitants have spare time to do an unpaid job. Also shows other inhabitants have spare stuff of saleable quality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney Trubble Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 There is a queue forming outside the local Wetherspoon pub before 8am and those who are waiting have string to hold up their trousers instead of a belt. There will also be a pavement full of cigarette ends outside other local pub doors and a copy of the previous days Racing Post will litter the tables in such grimy establishments. Cars will be illegally parked all over the roadside and on the kerbs, usually outside a cheap and nasty kebab shop that has Chav specials, such as sausage and chips in a tray, which are usually sold for a pound. There will be plenty of cheap shops, whose owners are likely to who wear a cheap fitting suit and then top it all off by wearing trainers with the suit. Big Issue sellers with some mongrel dog whose rib cage is fully on show. English is not spoken by many people and those who do, only know certain words or phrases. You will generally find wide and culturally diverse inhabitants who all speak different languages but none that allow them to communicate with each other - hence they live together for years but might just as well be living in a parallel universe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 This is generally the case in all the dingy northern towns, Leeds, manchester, Burnley etc. How is Leeds "Dingy"? Or Manchester for that matter. Both are massive towns and Leeds is pretty nice and very good for a night out. Better than Southampton anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopGun Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 How is Leeds "Dingy"? Or Manchester for that matter. Both are massive towns and Leeds is pretty nice and very good for a night out. Better than Southampton anyway. I think Stanley was looking for a bite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Well, I'll concede Burnley to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mole Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 I think Stanley was looking for a bite But it's true. The north is grim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 But it's true. The north is grim. Truth be told, so is the South. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 I clocked it was Shirley after the first one. Sad but true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arizona Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 A big sign saying, "welcome to Lincoln" is a giveaway for me. The young people are either chavs, emos, nerds, Spice Boys or long hair beardy art student types who've been doing various art courses at college and uni for about 10 years because there is f**k all to do with an art degree. The middle aged people are generally fat, skinhead, tatooed unemployed larks and the elderly are well, old. And as I found out today when I broke down, 50% of drivers are retarded and have no idea what hazard lights are. Rant over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 If and when The Mighty Gills win through the Div 2 paly-offs people simply MUST visit Chatham (1 stop away) when saints play them. You will never dis Shirley again. Factually and historically Chatham is where the term 'Pikey' originates - a turnpike where gypsies ply their trades, it is also where the term 'on the chat' comes from for those who are professional benefit claimants. Do not stop anywhere near the 'Luton Arches', this is where you will get robbed by the didicoi kids if they are bored. Follow this with a short hop to Gillingham, watch the match and GET OUT quickly. If you can find a visiting supporters pub then you have probably got the train to the wrong Gillingham ie the one in Darset. MaoCap will be able to confirm the above statements I do not doubt. I would like to stress that Gypsy people are nice people if you are nice to them, and I always am (she is sat next to me right now). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilsburydoughboy Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 With a premiership badge on it:heart::smt033 Dont forget the tattoos.All of the skate lads have them on their necks so they can look in the mirror and remember their name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilsburydoughboy Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 I would like to stress that Gypsy people are nice people if you are nice to them, and I always am (she is sat next to me right now). Has she got any lucky heather? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuRomseySaint Posted 6 May, 2009 Author Share Posted 6 May, 2009 If and when The Mighty Gills win through the Div 2 paly-offs people simply MUST visit Chatham (1 stop away) when saints play them. You will never dis Shirley again. Factually and historically Chatham is where the term 'Pikey' originates - a turnpike where gypsies ply their trades, it is also where the term 'on the chat' comes from for those who are professional benefit claimants. Do not stop anywhere near the 'Luton Arches', this is where you will get robbed by the didicoi kids if they are bored. Follow this with a short hop to Gillingham, watch the match and GET OUT quickly. If you can find a visiting supporters pub then you have probably got the train to the wrong Gillingham ie the one in Darset. MaoCap will be able to confirm the above statements I do not doubt. I would like to stress that Gypsy people are nice people if you are nice to them, and I always am (she is sat next to me right now). It may or may not surprise you to know that the mother of my children is a medway girl and your typical example of a blonde slapper that frequents them parts, she also has the most irritating accent in the world, ever. . . Another common theme with the medway towns of gillingham, Stroud, Chatham and Rochester . ****ing disgusting part of the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 It may or may not surprise you to know that the mother of my children is a medway girl and your typical example of a blonde slapper that frequents them parts, she also has the most irritating accent in the world, ever. . . Another common theme with the medway towns of gillingham, Stroud, Chatham and Rochester . ****ing disgusting part of the world. Mrs hamster asked me to ask if you are attending the match tomorrow, and asks if you have ever seen a film called Snatch? She also says that people from Strood can at least spell. You are probably getting confused with the place in Gloster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuRomseySaint Posted 6 May, 2009 Author Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Mrs hamster asked me to ask if you are attending the match tomorrow, and asks if you have ever seen a film called Snatch? She also says that people from Strood can at least spell. You are probably getting confused with the place in Gloster. Tell her to **** right off, I am quite aware how to spell it, but the predictive text on my iPhone changed it to Stroud, which obviously shows how irrelevent strood is! And no, I won't be attending any poxy match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Tell her to **** right off, I am quite aware how to spell it, but the predictive text on my iPhone changed it to Stroud, which obviously shows how irrelevent strood is! And no, I won't be attending any poxy match. Sorry about your ex, but Mrs h is lovely, as is my daughter and my Maths teacher who taught me all about sex (and he was a big bugger too), please don't swear at her as I am fed up with giving her false alibis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuRomseySaint Posted 6 May, 2009 Author Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Sorry about your ex, but Mrs h is lovely, as is my daughter and my Maths teacher who taught me all about sex (and he was a big bugger too), please don't swear at her as I am fed up with giving her false alibis. I didn't swear. I said ****. Does you missus have that common as muck mockney accents? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mao Cap Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 If and when The Mighty Gills win through the Div 2 paly-offs people simply MUST visit Chatham (1 stop away) when saints play them. You will never dis Shirley again. Factually and historically Chatham is where the term 'Pikey' originates - a turnpike where gypsies ply their trades, it is also where the term 'on the chat' comes from for those who are professional benefit claimants. Do not stop anywhere near the 'Luton Arches', this is where you will get robbed by the didicoi kids if they are bored. Follow this with a short hop to Gillingham, watch the match and GET OUT quickly. If you can find a visiting supporters pub then you have probably got the train to the wrong Gillingham ie the one in Darset. MaoCap will be able to confirm the above statements I do not doubt. I would like to stress that Gypsy people are nice people if you are nice to them, and I always am (she is sat next to me right now). It's all true, folks. Damn Chatham pikey kids always used to start on me when I was 16-17 and waiting to get picked up from my McDonald's job, after completing their day out shoplifting in Maidstone and waiting for the 101 bus back home. Got put on my arse a couple of times for refusing to give them "quid for the bus bo'" The Historic Dockyard is always worth a visit though, if it's still around. PS: C'mon rochdale :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Majestic Channon Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 A big sign saying, "welcome to Lincoln" is a giveaway for me. The young people are either chavs, emos, nerds, Spice Boys or long hair beardy art student types who've been doing various art courses at college and uni for about 10 years because there is f**k all to do with an art degree. The middle aged people are generally fat, skinhead, tatooed unemployed larks and the elderly are well, old. And as I found out today when I broke down, 50% of drivers are retarded and have no idea what hazard lights are. Rant over. Nettleham is a rocking place, party capital of the east of england. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mack rill Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Mao cap quick question,,,,,,,,Are the scorpions still in the dock yard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyFartPants Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 The North v South debate has again emerged even from an initial post describing Shirley. Having lived in the North and Midlands for many years, and having been a regular visitor to the North West for over 20 years I feel qualified to say it is grim. Very grim. Having said that I am now back in the wide expanse of countryside that is South Wiltshire and other than the weather being better you still see the same type of people you get up North. These people are now everywhere and do not locate around post codes. I can be outside a thatched cottage that is on the market in this depressed market for over £650,000 yet still be in the locality of a White Lightening park bench drinker. Its not good news for anyone but those pointing out the errors of other peoples areas are really just kidding themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 It's all true, folks. Damn Chatham pikey kids always used to start on me when I was 16-17 and waiting to get picked up from my McDonald's job, after completing their day out shoplifting in Maidstone and waiting for the 101 bus back home. Got put on my arse a couple of times for refusing to give them "quid for the bus bo'" The Historic Dockyard is always worth a visit though, if it's still around. PS: C'mon rochdale :wink: No No No MC, how can you say that? The Gills coming up would be awesome, what Scally (the ex-season ticket holder at Cold Blow Lane) has done is brilliant. I was in the 'Blues Bar' a few weeks back and it was just like being in a Warners clubhouse. My Grandson thought it was brilliant that his feet really were stuck to the floor! I went to Upbury Manor in the seventies when there were over two thousand pupils there, and they had one hell of a reputation for all the wrong reasons. It was so bad that they had to change it's name after I left. Even though I only go back there to watch the occasional Gills match or visit our daughter, I would love to see the team do well. I used to watch the likes of Tony Funnell, Dave Peach, **** Tydeman, Ron Hillyard, Tony Cascarino and Steve Bruce to name but a few, they are a proper down to earth club, and very very close to my heart. Come on you Gills. PS I used to play down those Napoleonic tunnels long before English Heritage got hold of them and we only had candles to light the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Mao cap quick question,,,,,,,,Are the scorpions still in the dock yard. If you know the dockyard you will probably know St Mary's Island? It was always rumoured that the RN used to dump all kinds of crap on the far side, and when they built an 'exclusive housing development' on it, they had to truck in thousands of tons of topsoil as nothing would grow there. Scary and not many local people bought them apparently. I must say though that those new towers at The Quays have nice views over the Medway, and the council is trying their darndest to regenerate the waterfront from Rochester all the way to The Strand. Good luck to them and I reckon a succesful football team could go some way to helping raise the profile. Will they get the stadium that Scally wants or will they learn our expensive lesson? Timewill tell mack. BTW there Dickens World ****es all over Pompey's feble atempt at tourism. Not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 A big sign saying, "welcome to Lincoln" is a giveaway for me.blahblahblahRant over. Lincoln is a fine city, plenty of worse places about. Even just in Lincolnshire; have you never been to Boston? Nettleham is a rocking place, party capital of the east of england. Another Lincolnshire Saint? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jawillwill Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Lol I was thinking of Shirley when reading this post. By far the most ****gable girl on EastEnders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 People tow boats with Frontera's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Bunch of bedwetters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 when a tramp there asks if you can spare some change, and you say no i only have a 50 notes and they stab you in the throat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arizona Posted 6 May, 2009 Share Posted 6 May, 2009 Lincoln is a fine city, plenty of worse places about. Even just in Lincolnshire; have you never been to Boston? Another Lincolnshire Saint? I didn't realise you guys were from round my neck of the woods. Yes there are worse places to be than Lincoln, with some worse people. It's just full of the afforementioned cretins of society, even if the crime there isn't too bad. I was born in Grantham, which is as near as I want to get to Boston thanks. If you put the entire population of Pompey and Boston together, you'd have 1 full set of teeth and 2 sets of DNA. Nettleham is a rocking place, party capital of the east of england. Used to live in Cherry Willingham. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mao Cap Posted 7 May, 2009 Share Posted 7 May, 2009 No No No MC, how can you say that? The Gills coming up would be awesome, what Scally (the ex-season ticket holder at Cold Blow Lane) has done is brilliant. I was in the 'Blues Bar' a few weeks back and it was just like being in a Warners clubhouse. My Grandson thought it was brilliant that his feet really were stuck to the floor! I went to Upbury Manor in the seventies when there were over two thousand pupils there, and they had one hell of a reputation for all the wrong reasons. It was so bad that they had to change it's name after I left. Even though I only go back there to watch the occasional Gills match or visit our daughter, I would love to see the team do well. I used to watch the likes of Tony Funnell, Dave Peach, **** Tydeman, Ron Hillyard, Tony Cascarino and Steve Bruce to name but a few, they are a proper down to earth club, and very very close to my heart. Come on you Gills. PS I used to play down those Napoleonic tunnels long before English Heritage got hold of them and we only had candles to light the way. Maidstone are only three divisions behind you now! I don't want that gap increasing by any more thank you very much Yeah, it was a long time ago when I last went but I remember the tunnels were pretty sweet (loads of inscriptions made by French PoWs there right? Or I might be mixing it up with Dover Castle). Also recall a retired RN submarine that you could go on, don't know if it's still there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Sotonic Mills Posted 7 May, 2009 Share Posted 7 May, 2009 I was born in Grantham, which is as near as I want to get to Boston thanks. Oft quoted as the most boring town in England. It also has the very dubious claim to fame of being the birthplace of the grocer's daughter turned chemist and then antichrist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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