Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 Old thread I know. For those who didnt read the last one. I work in a business centre which has shared toilets under lock and key so 'Jonny public' cant just walk in. There are about 4 different companies who use these loo's. There are two toilets next to each other, ladies and gents, each with a toilet and sink. The companies which work in the centre are all fairly well off companies who I believe employ staff of a higher degree of manner (ie not your typical McDonalds workshy gobsh!te turd) so you would think they know how to use a toilet. I was going to update y'all (as I know you love it) last Thurs, but as the thread was stuck in the lounge I thought it best not to post on it as it would bump to the top and there were a few 'muppet show' comments which would have been picked up by the sensitive few in there. After being subjected to another ******* discusting site (will get onto that in a moment) I have now upped a sign which reads... 'If you use these toilets, please have the courtesy to leave them in the same state you wish to find them. There have been a few horrific sites left recently' I think I have worked out what the phantom ****ter is doing now. Obviouly paranoid he may catch aids, leporacy, become pregnant or some other fatal infection from the toilet seat, instead of wiping it clean before use, layering the seat with loo roll or any other tactic employed for not touching the seat, I believe he is hovering above the seat while he does his deed. When I say hovering above, I mean there must be a good foot from his ass to the seat as he is managing to miss the 'pan' entirely and just ****ting on the back of the seat. Now, being a fairly decent human being, if I was silly enough to make a mess in a toilet (like pi$$ing on the seat for example) I would have the decency to clean it up after me. However, this cretin does not. He walks out of the toilet, leaving ****e on the seat and a nice 'smear' mark on the inside of the pan. If it continues, I am seriously considering trying to find out who it is actually doing it and shouting at them when they come out of the loo. This would IMO stop the cretin. Feel free to contribute further toilet stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_saints Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 I once farted on the set of Blue Lagoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barfy Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 Sounds like the person who lived in the same house as me for a short while at college. After discovering it once and cleaning it up, the landlady evicted all five of us the second time it happened and we all lost our deposit :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludwig Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 I've been to the toilet at the real Blue Lagoon. Not in it mind, even though the stuff at the bottom looked a bit icky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop&Scoop Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 I work in an office and in the mens toilets on my floor there are 4 urinals and 4 traps and there are always plenty of each free (there aren't too many of us up here). So why last week does some guy p1ss all over the toilet seat and leave it there rather than go and use a urinal?? Makes me mad. As far as I'm concerned if you're a bloke a need a p1ss use the urinal. In my opinion there are no valid reasons why a bloke should use a trap and stand up for a wee, and anyone who does has something to hide. Is it very small? Does it smell? Is it a funny shape? Anyone able to tell me why you would stand for a wee in a trap rather than use the urinal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 4 August, 2008 Author Share Posted 4 August, 2008 Anyone able to tell me why you would stand for a wee in a trap rather than use the urinal? Splashback. You dont seem to get it stood in a cubicle. Plus having to piss while pactically rubbing shoulders with 2 blokes either side of you isnt the most fun thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holepuncture Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 Splashback. You dont seem to get it stood in a cubicle. Plus having to piss while pactically rubbing shoulders with 2 blokes either side of you isnt the most fun thing to do. quite the toilet knowledge emporium eh! By the way where you work thier is a cult organisation of scat mongerers who are chuckling at you whilst they conduct thier fiendish scatty behaviours... if you cant beat them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 4 August, 2008 Author Share Posted 4 August, 2008 quite the toilet knowledge emporium eh! By the way where you work thier is a cult organisation of scat mongerers who are chuckling at you whilst they conduct thier fiendish scatty behaviours... if you cant beat them... I will beat them. With the biggest sh!t stick available if I find out who it actually is! My Mrs says I talk a lot of sh!t most of the time, so yes I guess I have an indepth toilet knowledge. Toilet humour is also right up there in my list of humourous topics/genre's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 Well beat this......... The office where I work has female toilets downstairs and the mens toilets upstairs in the main office. This morning I turned round to look at a calendar on the wall only to see the MD with his cock in his hand taking a slash. He hadn't noticed that the outside door was open and he never bothers to close the door to the actual loo itself. Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 4 August, 2008 Author Share Posted 4 August, 2008 Well beat this......... The office where I work has female toilets downstairs and the mens toilets upstairs in the main office. This morning I turned round to look at a calendar on the wall only to see the MD with his cock in his hand taking a slash. He hadn't noticed that the outside door was open and he never bothers to close the door to the actual loo itself. Nice. Theres a legal case for secksuwal harrassment if ever I had seen one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saints1980 Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 Well beat this......... The office where I work has female toilets downstairs and the mens toilets upstairs in the main office. This morning I turned round to look at a calendar on the wall only to see the MD with his cock in his hand taking a slash. He hadn't noticed that the outside door was open and he never bothers to close the door to the actual loo itself. Nice. Ooooh ooh, was it big? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 Ooooh ooh, was it big? No idea, I looked away within a split second and reported it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 Well beat this......... The office where I work has female toilets downstairs and the mens toilets upstairs in the main office. This morning I turned round to look at a calendar on the wall only to see the MD with his cock in his hand taking a slash. He hadn't noticed that the outside door was open and he never bothers to close the door to the actual loo itself. Nice. Hahahahaha, that'll learn him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benjii Posted 4 August, 2008 Share Posted 4 August, 2008 What sort of business keeps their calendars in the toilet FFS?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 5 August, 2008 Share Posted 5 August, 2008 One of the women in the office I work in is on the blob, they left a stain on the toilet seat, dirty feckers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludwig Posted 5 August, 2008 Share Posted 5 August, 2008 One of the women in the office I work in is on the blob, they left a stain on the toilet seat, dirty feckers! Or someone was having a furious tug and snapped their banjo string. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 5 August, 2008 Share Posted 5 August, 2008 Or someone was having a furious tug and snapped their banjo string. Nah, t'was teh wimmin toilets, which I was using because someone else was in the mans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beckster Von Doodle Posted 5 August, 2008 Share Posted 5 August, 2008 Well beat this......... The office where I work has female toilets downstairs and the mens toilets upstairs in the main office. This morning I turned round to look at a calendar on the wall only to see the MD with his **** in his hand taking a slash. He hadn't noticed that the outside door was open and he never bothers to close the door to the actual loo itself. Nice. Hilarious I have been talking to my boss before and its sounded a bit echoey and then he's flushed the toilet and told me that he's just "had a dump". Very attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 5 August, 2008 Share Posted 5 August, 2008 Hilarious I have been talking to my boss before and its sounded a bit echoey and then he's flushed the toilet and told me that he's just "had a dump". Very attractive. I'm hoping over the phone yeah? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 5 August, 2008 Author Share Posted 5 August, 2008 Nah, t'was teh wimmin toilets, which I was using because someone else was in the mans. Dont lie MB, you were installing the hidden CCTV camera for your new 'live bewbs taking toilet time' PM's... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 5 August, 2008 Share Posted 5 August, 2008 Dont lie MB, you were installing the hidden CCTV camera for your new 'live bewbs taking toilet time' PM's... ha ha ha On another note Beckster hasn't answered, oo'er Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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