The Asylum Game poster - lol

[dubai_phil]

Hello and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:

HIJACK AN AIRLINER

and win

A COUNCIL HOUSE!

We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor, The British Taxpayer.

And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and you only need one word of English:

'ASYLUM'

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and

accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This competition is open to everyone

buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable.

All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:

'ASYLUM'

A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury

£200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.

They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain .

Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience

Just apply for legal aid.

Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.

It won't cost you a penny.

It could change your life forever.

So play today.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet

activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,

bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...

COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the airport!

Get along to the lorry park!

Get along to the ferry terminal!

Don't stop in Germany or France !

Go straight to Britain

And you are GUARANTEED to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth.

Everyone's a winner, when they play

'ASYLUM'

[Dog]

Lock this thread!

I think I know where this is going.

[Atticus Finch of Maycomb]

Asylum seekers: the myths exposed

Myth one: Britain is a soft touch

 

If you listen to the press and politicians, you probably have the impression that Britain is under siege from an overwhelming, faceless, non-white crowd of asylum seekers. And that more and more are entering the country as we speak, tempted by easy access and lax rules. But is Britain really such a soft touch?

 

The truth is that the number of people seeking asylum in the UK during 2001 fell by 11 per cent on the previous year - standing at 88,300. Far from being 'soft' on the issue, the UK receives less asylum applications per head of population than many other western European countries - at the moment we rank tenth.

 

 

Myth two: people come here to 'sponge' from the British benefit system

 

This seems to be an all-pervasive myth, often inflamed by tabloid newspapers. When Britain received an unusually high number of asylum applications following the Kosovo war, for instance, The Daily Star described them as 'scroungers' looking for a 'meal ticket for life.' The Dover Express was even less reserved, describing them as a 'tide of human sewage'.

 

Yet government research shows that those granted asylum more than pay back the investment in benefits. No one arriving in Britain seeking political asylum is allowed to work until they have been in the country for six months, when they can apply for a Standard Acknowledgement Letter that allows them the right to apply for jobs - this process can often take a while. Government research then shows that the foreign-born population contributes around ten per cent more to government revenues than they receive in benefits, equivalent to £2.6 billion a year.

 

The impact on the Health Service also illustrates the value of immigrant workers - about one third of doctors and nurses in Britain are non-UK born. Given the shortage of skilled labour in the health service it seems that far from being scroungers, the British economy actually relies on the work performed by people coming in to the country.

 

 

Myth three: they are coming to steal our jobs

 

It seems that asylum seekers can't win. One British man interviewed about the issue tried to maintain in a single sentence that asylum seekers were coming to 'sponge' off the benefit system and 'steal our jobs'. He is not alone in that belief.

 

This fear refers to the controversial debate on illegal immigrants or 'bogus' asylum seekers. The Home Office has turned down asylum applicants as economic migrants on the grounds that they answered 'yes' in their interview to the question 'do you want to work?' It's true that people want to come and work in Britain and because there is no legitimate form of economic migration, some people enter illegally or apply for political asylum.

 

This policy is about to change - the new asylum and immigration bill will try and allow for more legal routes in to the country. Both independent and government research shows that Britain, and Europe as a whole, actually needs immigrant labour due to the ageing population and growth in economy. As well as the skilled labour provided by doctors, nurses, computer programmers, etc., there is a need for unskilled workers, who are prepared to do jobs that Europeans are refusing. The Economist explains: '…in Europe, it is not only low wages that deter locals from picking fruit and vegetables, but the low status of such jobs.'

 

Immigrants not only take on jobs that need doing in Britain, the movement of people actually creates more employment, and helps keep the economy fluid. We shouldn't forget that the United States, the most powerful economy in the world, is a country of immigrants. The line on the Statue of Liberty, 'Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses', has proved to be an extremely successful economic policy.

 

 

Myth four: they don't integrate with the local population

 

Many asylum seekers arrive in Britain without being able to speak a word of English. This means that the government and charity workers usually rely on the support system provided by communities of asylum seekers and refugees already living in Britain to help with translating. That policy, while understandable, doesn' seem to encourage successful integration with the local population.

 

At the moment, the government seems to believe that keeping asylum seekers in isolated communities is better than assimilation - the new bill on asylum and immigration actually recommends separate accommodation and education. Despite this the contributions made to the British workforce and the taxes paid to the British government by non-UK born people is testimony to the integration of immigrants at a fundamental level.

 

Food for thought: putting assimilation into a historical context, we could look at the examples of Brits abroad. The indigenous populations of Australia and North America were practically wiped out, British colonies in Africa saw enforced segregation between black and white, while the British in colonial India rarely learnt even one of indigenous languages and would not educate their own children with the local population. Even now expat communities in countries like Spain and Bermuda form tight-knit communities, preferring to read British newspapers and go out to British bars. We should perhaps count ourselves lucky that people coming to our country don't follow the British model of integration abroad.

 

 

Myth five: newspapers are reliable sources of information on the asylum issue

 

The quote: '…[the asylum seekers] include known fraudsters who arrived with fake passports.' (The Mail on Sunday, 15th March 1998).

The fact: if you are fleeing a regime that would torture or imprison you, a false passport may be the only means of escape. The United Nations convention on refugees states that asylum seekers should not be punished for using false documents.

 

The quote: 'Around 80 per cent of those who claim refugee status are eventually judged to be bogus.' (The Mail on Sunday, 14th October 2001).

The fact: In 2001, 31% of asylum applicants were granted either refugee status or exceptional leave to remain on their first appeal. The Refugee Council estimates that 'taking into account applicants who were successful at different appeals and where the Home Office overturned its own initial refusal decision, the total number of successful applicants was as high as 51%.'

 

The quote: 'Our town's too nice for refugees… they will try to escape, rapists and thieves will terrorise us…' (Daily Express, 23rd March 2002).

The fact: The Association of Chief Police Officers has published a report claiming that criminality is no higher among refugees and asylum seekers than it is in the rest of the population - in fact they are more likely to become victims of crime in the UK.

 

The quote: 'And to the disgust of taxpayers across Britain the incomers are creaming off the benefits system. Within hours of arriving in Glasgow, the latest asylum seekers received the first of their £149-a-week income support handouts.' (Daily Record, 16th March 2000).

The fact: The newspapers tend to only show half the story; this article did not mention that asylum seekers are not allowed to work in the first six months of arrival, so they are forced to depend on the state for support.

 

The quote: 'Bogus refugees treated better than UK citizens.' (The Sun, 18th February 2002).

The fact: The UK has been criticised by the United Nations for their policy of detaining asylum seekers without independent judicial review for long periods. Even those who aren't detained receive 30 per cent less in benefits than British citizens.

[Jillyanne]

Lock this thread!

I think I know where this is going.

 

Lol.

[Atticus Finch of Maycomb]

lol.

 

lolz!