Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Strictly serious replies please. Been having a chat about my eldest (just turned 4) with his playgroup 'leader' about his development. She's raised concerns on two counts, 1 I think is ok, but 1 that's actually annoyed me. Firstly, she says that he wont participate in activities that he doesn't find interesting, usually puzzles. That's ok I guess, no ones perfect and that obviously need some work. The second thing sorta ****ed me off tho, she said she's concerned because he won't take part in 'craft activities' such as painting and modelling etc. My initial thought was 'so bloody what?', but what does everyone else think? Should I be encouraging my son to take part in drawing lots, messing about with playdoh etc, even tho he doesnt like it. Kristof is a bright kid, even tho he's just 4 he speaks 2 languages, can hold a perfectly good conversation with adults (in english or dutch), knows most of the alphabet, can spell his name, is fine with maths and counting (again in both languages), so he's certainly not a thicky... but I was just wondering what other peoples views were on the whole 'crafts' thing, but also on the participation and concentration which apparently he lacks too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 For me, I would think that it good to encourage a child's "artist" side. Without sounding too w@nky, it is if nothing else, an outlet for frsutrations. From what you say, Kristof is a very bright little dude, so there is no reason why he cant let you know why is doesnt want to take part in crafty things. Have a chat with him and ask him why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 I think you should try to make him interested. If he sits out, after a while it could distance him with the other children and maybe turn into bullying in the long run. Christ on a bike, thats a very well put point Shane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 True. See we don't do any drawing ourselves at home. Both me and the wife loath painting etc, so we just don't do it. I know the old thing of kids copying parents, which is why he's into music, loves playing my guitar, loves number games and spelling etc... I guess I just dont put enough emphasis on stuff I think isn't as academically important, but I guess that's why im not a teacher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustMike Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 for me Baj, there is no problem if a child doesnt like / take part in something. Probably means that it just doesnt stimulate them enough. The nursery should be looking for things that do interest him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 For me, I would think that it good to encourage a child's "artist" side. Without sounding too w@nky, it is if nothing else, an outlet for frsutrations. From what you say, Kristof is a very bright little dude, so there is no reason why he cant let you know why is doesnt want to take part in crafty things. Have a chat with him and ask him why. He says he doesn't do it because "I can't do it, it looks rubbish", despite the fact we pour praise on him when he does, very rarely, come home with a painting. Need to do more at home with him I guess. Christ, he even plays 'my first scrabble' but probably wouldnt know what to do with a pencil sharpener! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doublesaint Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Children of that age in my opinion certainly do not need to be monitored to such a degree and be let to do what they want with regards to play/creativity, teaching of language and numbers is something that you have already done with him well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Children of that age in my opinion certainly do not need to be monitored to such a degree and be let to do what they want with regards to play/creativity, teaching of language and numbers is something that you have already done with him well. I asked teacher how he's getting on with his spelling, numbers and writing "oh, they don't do that til they start school, we just do a bit". So I guess we should relax a little on his spoken and written language and let me concentrate on the namby pampy ****, even tho he likes what he likes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustMike Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 The thing is though, all kids from 3 upwards that attend a nursery (even childminders to a lesser extent) are now all part of the EYFS, (early years foundation stage) where they are expected to be able to do certain things by differing ages, a kind of early record of achievement type thing. So kids as young as 3 are expected to do things like art etc. Im all for letting kids be kids, especially that young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Definitely encourage him. It is not just the artistic side that is important. It`s about being able to help a child think logically about things i.e. "if I put this and that together, I get this, or that will happen" It`s about expanding his thinking in ways that will be useful in practical terms in later life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 If the class wasnt so good, and the teachers so nice, i would have just said "my child is bi-lingual and has better maths skills that kids older than him, so ****ing what if he wont draw" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Definitely encourage him. It is not just the artistic side that is important. It`s about being able to help a child think logically about things i.e. "if I put this and that together, I get this, or that will happen" It`s about expanding his thinking in ways that will be useful in practical terms in later life. Completely agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 He says he doesn't do it because "I can't do it, it looks rubbish", despite the fact we pour praise on him when he does, very rarely, come home with a painting. Need to do more at home with him I guess. Christ, he even plays 'my first scrabble' but probably wouldnt know what to do with a pencil sharpener! If he is into music like you then there is a huge creative streak there mate. Try something "off the wall" like a covering the floor in white paper stuck together and put paint on his feet. get him to "draw" things with his feet. Or try Lego. It is crafty after all as it is basically modeling although with a technical slant that sounds up your and your wifes street 9from what I can gather) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustMike Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 If the class wasnt so good, and the teachers so nice, i would have just said "my child is bi-lingual and has better maths skills that kids older than him, so ****ing what if he wont draw" i can see your point. Yes encourage him but if he doesnt want to do it, done force him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 If he is into music like you then there is a huge creative streak there mate. Try something "off the wall" like a covering the floor in white paper stuck together and put paint on his feet. get him to "draw" things with his feet. Or try Lego. It is crafty after all as it is basically modeling although with a technical slant that sounds up your and your wifes street 9from what I can gather) Tried the paper thing before, he just sobbed cos his feet were covered in paint... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Tried the paper thing before, he just sobbed cos his feet were covered in paint... Are you raising Niles Crane? The only thing for it is for Bajjer to brush up on his artistic skills and show young Kristof what to do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 I write tunes, I dont draw, im **** at drawing, really really **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
South City Si Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Not being funny, but is she implying he's slightly autistic? But that wouldn't really explain the music bit you've said about. Not personally implying anything about your child Baj. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Not being funny, but is she implying he's slightly autistic? But that wouldn't really explain the music bit you've said about. Not personally implying anything about your child Baj. Autistic or artistic? lol No, appreciate you're not trying to be funny. To be honest, his attitudes are identical to mine when I was his age, not too sure what symptoms of austism are but he doesnt seem any different from his cousins (the only other kids i spend enough time around to know exactly what they are like). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 I write tunes, I dont draw, im **** at drawing, really really **** What a load of complete ********. There is no way that ANYONE is really really **** at drawing, everyone can drawing something. A stick man is good enough to spark interest. Is Daddys attitude influencing son's here? Draw anything you can, he is 4 for goodness sake, get him to tell you what he thinks it is and then tell him he is right, then get him to have a go at drawing something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Hmm, having read a brief overview of autism, I would say he has none of the symptoms, he has no social-interaction problems, no repetitive behviour and his language is more than fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Never force your kids to do anything but encourage them to try everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustMike Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 I really dont see there being a problem if a kid doesnt want to do art things! My kids dont do stuff they dont like / enjoy, they move on to something they do like. That is what the nursery should be doing, finding something that will stimulate him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 I would say you should listen to her but also encourage the language and maths based side. Having worked in a nursery it is extremely frustrating to try to talk to a parent to address any concerns. Almost always the reaction is "no never my child! There's never anything wrong." You will find that if someone has spent a lot of time with a child they will get to know them and if they have real concerns it is worth listening. I have no idea if this is the case with your child but it the parents will never ever listen even when I was trying to be helpful. Try and find an experienced member of staff at the nursery if possible. I know people who have been working in childcare for over twenty years and can immediately spot if something is not right (but as always the parent knows best.) So my advice is to speak to the childcare practitioner again to clarify exactly what her concerns are and if it is just because he finds it boring or if there are underlying more serious issues here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Oh and my parents own four nurseries in Southampton (the best four if ofsted is anything to go by!) so I am speaking with a fair bit of experience in this matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 cheers hypo. I should say the conversation with the lady was over 20 mins long, so we had a good talk about specifics and stuff we can try at home. In this instance I know he has difficulties with art and craft, but also concentration, but it's about how to approach it in a way that makes him want to take part without me feeling like im pressuring him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 cheers hypo. I should say the conversation with the lady was over 20 mins long, so we had a good talk about specifics and stuff we can try at home. In this instance I know he has difficulties with art and craft, but also concentration, but it's about how to approach it in a way that makes him want to take part without me feeling like im pressuring him. It isn't just drawing and craft, it's a vital skill things like imagination and craft helps improve coordination and a host of other things (I won't bore you.) Suffice to say there is a method in it but also I know there will be planned activities at different times of the day and it's very difficult if one child refuses to join in with the group. They have to listen to your side though and work out a system which works best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Does his cousin paint and draw etc, you could suggest a painting/drawing competition and then of course) not have a winner but reward them both? Just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Majestic Channon Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Our kids have things in common baj, my lad has also just turned 4 and speaks two languages, swedish and english. I don't think it's a big deal your lad shows no intrest in arty stuff, if he's anything like my lad he will be put off it even more if pushed, agree with the comment about encouraging him though, if he's still not intrested then it's not to be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunrise Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Encourage him but don't push him as that would be counter productive. One suggestion is to ask him to do a drawing or painting of something such as one of his favourite toys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Right, the idea (for the art stuff anyway). Im going to buy a HUGE scrap book. In this scrap book he can put drawings, photos (he loves his digital camera), etc. Itll be a nice place to put everything and he can also see his progress over time.... that's the plan anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Just remind him that all kids are crap at art when they're 4 Seriously though, it sounds like he's putting unrealistic expectations on himself, something my kid suffered from for awhile, but it will pass with your encouragement. Do some finger painting and sticking stuff together with him, and show him that he's no worse than his ham-fisted dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deano6 Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 I'm 26 and I can't draw a bloody thing. Never did me any harm. I'm also becoming an uncle today (all being well) so I will sure to make the little critter draw! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scummer Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Right, the idea (for the art stuff anyway). Im going to buy a HUGE scrap book. In this scrap book he can put drawings, photos (he loves his digital camera), etc. Itll be a nice place to put everything and he can also see his progress over time.... that's the plan anyway. I don't suppose his digital camera could have an effect on his views of how good he is at art could it? If he's comparing what he is a capable of to his photographs, that could lead him to think he isn't very good? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 No four year olds are good at art (well hardly any). As I said, it's not just about doing art, it teaches vital skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poshie72 Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 I wouldnt worry about it, my eldest didnt like anything to do with craft, prefering to play outside, look at books etc. He is now 12 (well almost) and still doesnt like it where as my youngest cant wait to get covered in paint!! Gentle encouragment is all you can really do like drawing a picture together etc, but if he doesnt like ut then there is not much you can do. Incidentally, I spoke to my 6 year old's teacher today and she said that he didnt like writing. My thought was he is only 6! He obvously thinks that there are better things he could be doing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheels Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Baj Have you tried 'Painting with numbers?' - that might be enough to stimulate his interest. Whilst I'm with you on the arty side (I can't draw/paint any better than an elephant with a brush!!), he will have to take part in lessons/activities he doesn't like/find interesting when he is at school so he may as well start getting used to it. For instance, he won't be able to walk out of an english lesson and say "**** this, I prefer science" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Get him a colouring book and tell him for every one he does where it stays in the lines he can have a sweet or something, give him a goal at the end of it, and see how he gets on. Might find he enjoys it and will carry on without bribes! Take him to Stone Henge (or similar), and then when you get home, try to recreate the stones and stuff with playdoh, so its a bit more structured than 'make something'. Just an idea..... Because he doesn't like it now doesn't mean in a few years he wont love it, most kids hate football cos 'its boring' but end up doing all they can to watch every match they can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 1 April, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Just finished doing one drawing and then one painting, tho was like extracting teeth trying to get him to stay interested... its a start though I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 It's a good start. Soon you won't need to encourage him to get to work on your walls with his crayons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Give it to Ron Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Had exactly the same issue with my nipper....still do in fact even now he is at senior school. He hates art and stuff and says he is rubbish.....to be fair he is, so am I and so is his mother. He is great at languages and spends every minute thinking, talking or playing football like his dad at that age. Your lad will develop other skills so don't worry about this too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint lard Posted 1 April, 2009 Share Posted 1 April, 2009 Hmm, having read a brief overview of autism, I would say he has none of the symptoms, he has no social-interaction problems, no repetitive behviour and his language is more than fine. I'm obviously not implying anything by this but trying to pinpoint particular traits in Autism/Aspergers syndrome is a minefield. Look at the "triad of impairments" closely,this is often used as a gauge to weather someone could fall within the Autistic spectrum,but it is not foolproof. Social interaction and the use of imagination are the key elements,language is more difficult to pigeonhole as a trait of someone within the spectrum,alot of things that people do or say are are often just from rote memory. i used to get so worried seeing my 3 yr old do something similar to what an Autistic child/adult would do,perhaps if i didnt work with youngters within the spectrum it wouldnt even cross my mind. Check out this site if you are in anyway concerned.... http://www.has.org.uk/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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