Redbul Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 You are replying to a rather formal letter, but the lady that wrote the letter has just given her first and last name. Do I reply with Dear Miss? Dear Ms? Use her first name? I don't want to use Mrs because she may not be married.... Come on girls*, what's the correct etiquette in these situations? *Or indeed blokes if you know....
bridge too far Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 If she's signed her letter 'Jean Smith' I reckon you should either say 'Dear Jean Smith' or 'Dear Ms Smith'. I'm a 'Mrs' but I'm not offended if someone writes to me 'Dear Ms TF'
Window Cleaner Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 You are replying to a rather formal letter, but the lady that wrote the letter has just given her first and last name. Do I reply with Dear Miss? Dear Ms? Use her first name? I don't want to use Mrs because she may not be married.... Come on girls*, what's the correct etiquette in these situations? *Or indeed blokes if you know.... Dear Madam (because obviously she's a stranger to you).
Redbul Posted 28 March, 2009 Author Posted 28 March, 2009 If she's signed her letter 'Jean Smith' I reckon you should either say 'Dear Jean Smith' or 'Dear Ms Smith'. I'm a 'Mrs' but I'm not offended if someone writes to me 'Dear Ms TF' How did you know her name?? :shock: (Only kidding....) That is very sensible; Dear Jean Smith....nobody could take offence at that. Unless they were called Peter Jones or something. Thanks BTF, I'll use that.
Redbul Posted 28 March, 2009 Author Posted 28 March, 2009 Dear Madam (because obviously she's a stranger to you). I know this is picky, but if I know what her name is, shouldn't I at least try and use it? I agree, if I was writing a letter and didn't know who was going to pick it up I'd probably say 'Dear Sir/Madam' but in this case the only thing I don't know is a title.
Window Cleaner Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 I know this is picky, but if I know what her name is, shouldn't I at least try and use it? I agree, if I was writing a letter and didn't know who was going to pick it up I'd probably say 'Dear Sir/Madam' but in this case the only thing I don't know is a title. No, you put her name (using Ms ......) at the top where you'd normally put the addressee anyway and then commence Dear LMadam, because it's a formal letter and she's a stranger Ms Jean Smith 22 Buckwood Gardens Middenham Gloucester GL 22 OS46 Dear Madam, In reference to you missive of 22 March ........ You also have to put your name and address at the top and show the date
bridge too far Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 I suppose, WC, it depends on how formal the letter has to be. Saying Dear Ms Smith or Dear Jean Smith is friendlier, don't you think? I don't often write business letters these days, but I'd only use Dear Sir / Madam if I was writing to someone I didn't know e.g. a company chairman, an NHS Finance Director (although I'd probably do some research to find out the name if possible).
Jillyanne Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 I am a 'Miss' currently but soon to be a 'Mrs', do I need to practice a new signature or just stay with my current one?
Window Cleaner Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 I suppose, WC, it depends on how formal the letter has to be. Saying Dear Ms Smith or Dear Jean Smith is friendlier, don't you think? I don't often write business letters these days, but I'd only use Dear Sir / Madam if I was writing to someone I didn't know e.g. a company chairman, an NHS Finance Director (although I'd probably do some research to find out the name if possible). He said it was formal, those are the niceties involved in formal letter writing.
bridge too far Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 He said it was formal, those are the niceties involved in formal letter writing. Yes, you're quite right. He did say it was 'rather formal'. He must remember that if he starts the letter 'Dear Madam' he should conclude 'Yours faithfully'. If he starts it 'Dear Ms Smith' it should finish 'Yours sincerely'.
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 I am a 'Miss' currently but soon to be a 'Mrs', do I need to practice a new signature or just stay with my current one? You just know you've been doodling away with that new signature since he proposed!
Jillyanne Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 You just know you've been doodling away with that new signature since he proposed! Thing is I haven't not even once. I guess at 33 you don't do that kind of stuff.
norwaysaint Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 Under the circumstances you've described, you must use Ms. and the last name. Madam is absolutely incorrect as marital status is not known. Miss is incorrect for the same reason. It's best not to use the full name as you don't know her, but it is actually acceptable in a formal letter to use Dear and the person's first name only if it's been given to you.
hamster Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 I know that I am bit thick, but could somenone (seriously) explain why it matters? If I can understand why it matters, it would help me to remember what to use. I really do want to know as when I write letters for work purposes I would like to know the rules, if there are any. Another problem area for me is with e-mail. I have to write quite a lot (again for work) and I never know if I should write them in a similar style to a proper letter. I really do pain over this sort of thing.
Badger Posted 28 March, 2009 Posted 28 March, 2009 Under the circumstances you've described, you must use Ms. and the last name. Madam is absolutely incorrect as marital status is not known. Miss is incorrect for the same reason. It's best not to use the full name as you don't know her, but it is actually acceptable in a formal letter to use Dear and the person's first name only if it's been given to you. Not convinced that Ms is appropriate,although it is possibly a relatively safe option here. For Madam,I have always considered marital status irrelevant.It is the equivalent of Dear Sir. In recent years the use of first name has become more acceptable in business use. One question not asked though,how was the letter to you addressed,Dear Sir,or Dear Firstname,that should be considered. Finally if in doubt phone her office on Monday and ask the receptionist the correct name and title etc.Easier if its a big company perhaps and she won't be sitting next to the phone.
Rattlehead Posted 29 March, 2009 Posted 29 March, 2009 No, you put her name (using Ms ......) at the top where you'd normally put the addressee anyway and then commence Dear LMadam, because it's a formal letter and she's a stranger Dear Madam, In reference to you missive of 22 March ........ One has to wonder how reliable it is to rely on the opinion of someone whose own use of English and attention to detail is questionable at best. Also, whoever said "Dear Jean Smith"...oh dear.
norwaysaint Posted 29 March, 2009 Posted 29 March, 2009 http://www.businesswritingblog.com/business_writing/2006/01/greetings_and_s.html Try googling salutations, this one's quite good, but there are probably other sites that say other things.
Wiltshire Saint Posted 29 March, 2009 Posted 29 March, 2009 What about "Hello sweetheart" or "Alright darling". Women love that sort of thing.
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