hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 WTF are they all laughing and screaming about? It is starting to wind me up. Should I bang on the floor or sneak down, grab a beer and turn the TV up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 WTF are they all laughing and screaming about? It is starting to wind me up. Should I bang on the floor or sneak down, grab a beer and turn the TV up? They're probably deciding what size willy warmer to get you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 They're probably deciding what size willy warmer to get you. !!!! That may explain the gasps too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Blimey! Last time I heard the missus scream like she did just noiw was erm.....let's just say it was a while ago shall we. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Why don't you just clear off down the pub? It's what I did when my ex held one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 I have had the benefit of seeing the 'model' change her outfits, which was nice. Stewardess, Basque and French Maid so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mack rill Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 I have had the benefit of seeing the 'model' change her outfits, which was nice. Stewardess, Basque and French Maid so far. Oi! rodent your f8ckin with us, arnt you:mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Oi! rodent your f8ckin with us, arnt you:mad: Not at all knife. btw you coming out for the kickabout with the rest of us in May? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Why don't you just clear off down the pub? It's what I did when my ex held one. colin, what if i went and got ******ed though? Before she sent me up here 'out of the way' she asked if I could keep a promise, followed by telling me that I am on one. I have limited myself to 2 cans of Guinness, but may sneak down for another in a mo, not to drink it, just to perv a bit more. Pub - lingerie Pub - lingerie pub - lingerie Yep, pub it is (like **** it is) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Oi! rodent your f8ckin with us, arnt you:mad: Trying to find you a pic of said outfits, I came across this: NSFW http://www.isitetv.com/c32ad30e23618c4355f0e46477e395c6-p4.htm I have never seen one working before and am praying that she is too coy to get one. I'll be out of a job if she does, although i do make a great spag bol (secret recipe) and she will still need me for lifts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mack rill Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Trying to find you a pic of said outfits, I came across this: NSFW http://www.isitetv.com/c32ad30e23618c4355f0e46477e395c6-p4.htm I have never seen one working before and am praying that she is too coy to get one. I'll be out of a job if she does, although i do make a great spag bol (secret recipe) and she will still need me for lifts. Kin ell ,,,,you should be all right my boy its only got a 5in girth,:cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Yeah course, I'll be fine...... (weeps into beer, waves farewell to sex life). That pub idea sounds good all of a sudden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 hamster - rabbit? hamster - rabbit? hamster - rabbit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 cunnilingus is my only option now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harvey Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 I have had the benefit of seeing the 'model' change her outfits, which was nice. Stewardess, Basque and French Maid so far. Nurse ???????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 WARNING - DO NOT Google image search "Tongue" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Nurse ???????? She IS a nurse, one nurse uniform in wardrobe = good . five nurse uniforms in wardrobe = :smt083 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Actually, I might try one on just to scare the **** out of her when she comes up. Just heard a couple of women leaving, the countdown to lift off has begun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harvey Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 She IS a nurse, one nurse uniform in wardrobe = good . five nurse uniforms in wardrobe = :smt083 You lucky bastard :smt021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 You lucky bastard :smt021 And one of those buxom ones too Harve. Bastard aint it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 To be honest about the nurse uniform 'thing', it ain't what you might expect when you know that it's got other peoples blood and eye juice splashes on it. Some stains never come out. PS Another one just ****ed off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 (edited) I counted themin and am pretty sure that there are only 2 more to go, plus the ann summers woman. While I am waiting can someone help me with a crossword clue please? What does turgid mean? Edited 13 March, 2009 by hamster bad typing, with one hand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harvey Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 I counted themin and am pretty sure that there are only 2 more to go, plus the ann summers woman. While I am waiting can someone help me with a crossword clue please? What does turgid mean? 'Horrible' I think..........could be wrong though :smt102 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 13 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 13 March, 2009 'Horrible' I think..........could be wrong though :smt102 No Harvey, it means 'swollen', 'engorged' and generally 'up for it' mate. Anyway, car doors slamming, I am off to brush my teeth (if you know what I mean). Wish me luck, I'm going in. See you all at the match. xx's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harvey Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 No Harvey, it means 'swollen', 'engorged' and generally 'up for it' mate. Anyway, car doors slamming, I am off to brush my teeth (if you know what I mean). Wish me luck, I'm going in. See you all at the match. xx's Crickey :smt103.........I've been 'turgid' for a long time then! :-\" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Landrew Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Rather entertaining thread this. I felt like I was there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint boggy Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Crickey :smt103.........I've been 'turgid' for a long time then! :-\" oh dear mate.......you need to find yaself a nice girl to help you out with that!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harvey Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 oh dear mate.......you need to find yaself a nice girl to help you out with that!!! Easier said than done St Boggy ...........I obviously don't socialise in the proper drinking establishments, to meet that certain 'ahem' woman :smt110 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint boggy Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Easier said than done St Boggy ...........I obviously don't socialise in the proper drinking establishments, to meet that certain 'ahem' woman :smt110 well, i presume you are in your own home atm.......why not sit there and just crack one off??? :confused: if it helps you out at all, this is the picture of an outfit i myself purchased at a recent Ann Summer's party....... :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harvey Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 well, i presume you are in your own home atm.......why not sit there and just crack one off??? :confused: if it helps you out at all, this is the picture of an outfit i myself purchased at a recent Ann Summer's party....... :cool: Is that you in the picture ????????? :smt119 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint boggy Posted 13 March, 2009 Share Posted 13 March, 2009 Is that you in the picture ????????? :smt119 no, she's my uglier twin sister!! :---) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 14 March, 2009 Share Posted 14 March, 2009 this thread makes me feel a little ill, now is talking about this stuff on a public innerweb forum such a good idea? Or do we wanna hear about it? Ann Summers is for cheap sl@gs and fat ugly bints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint boggy Posted 14 March, 2009 Share Posted 14 March, 2009 this thread makes me feel a little ill, now is talking about this stuff on a public innerweb forum such a good idea? Or do we wanna hear about it? Ann Summers is for cheap sl@gs and fat ugly bints. ooooo!!!!! no prizes for spotting the forum user who's bitter that he doesn't actually have 'fun' whilst being intimate with his other half!!!.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viking Warrior Posted 14 March, 2009 Share Posted 14 March, 2009 Hamster sounds like your missus is about to divorce you Sadly and unfortunately technology has taken over from us men. hence the Ann Summers party. Ask her if she purchased the universal man vibrator. apparrently its ten times better that its predecessor the rabid rabbitt. or so my girlfriend tells me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Landrew Posted 14 March, 2009 Share Posted 14 March, 2009 this thread makes me feel a little ill, now is talking about this stuff on a public innerweb forum such a good idea? Or do we wanna hear about it? Ann Summers is for cheap sl@gs and fat ugly bints. That's ever so slightly rich Stevo. This is TMS and you have been one of its foremost posters. I agree, it pushes the boundaries, but Hamster has kept it nicely inside the boundaries of taste, I think. If you still feel iffy, pop across to the Lounge, and give us the latest installment in the life of a VW Golf GTi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 14 March, 2009 Share Posted 14 March, 2009 That's ever so slightly rich Stevo. This is TMS and you have been one of its foremost posters. I agree, it pushes the boundaries, but Hamster has kept it nicely inside the boundaries of taste, I think. If you still feel iffy, pop across to the Lounge, and give us the latest installment in the life of a VW Golf GTi. LOL There maybe a golf related post coming along soon.....in that i applied for a loan extension yesterday to replace the beast and was offered 11.9% APR, compared to the 6.9% i am paying at the moment on the loan i have with the same company! When interest rates are at an all time low, how is this possible? This will appear in the lounge soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Landrew Posted 14 March, 2009 Share Posted 14 March, 2009 LOL There maybe a golf related post coming along soon.....in that i applied for a loan extension yesterday to replace the beast and was offered 11.9% APR, compared to the 6.9% i am paying at the moment on the loan i have with the same company! When interest rates are at an all time low, how is this possible? This will appear in the lounge soon Can't wait..! :smt015;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 14 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 14 March, 2009 Off to the match now, but I forgot to update this. One word GOOOALLLLLLLLLLLLL! Went to extra time (which was nice). Penalties were that I had to take her tea and toast, but overall I would have to call it a score draw. TTFN folki. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 15 March, 2009 Share Posted 15 March, 2009 Trying to find you a pic of said outfits, I came across this: NSFW http://www.isitetv.com/c32ad30e23618c4355f0e46477e395c6-p4.htm I have never seen one working before and am praying that she is too coy to get one. I'll be out of a job if she does, although i do make a great spag bol (secret recipe) and she will still need me for lifts. That little wabbit looks like a happy little fella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 16 March, 2009 Share Posted 16 March, 2009 Rule 1? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 16 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 16 March, 2009 Rule 1? of? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 16 March, 2009 Share Posted 16 March, 2009 of? The women trying on all the different items, testing the dildos etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 16 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 16 March, 2009 The women trying on all the different items, testing the dildos etc lol at you. Although I only know you through your internet persona mb, I am sure that they would come nowhere near to satisfying your perverted 'needs'. Anyway it was tastefully kept to dressing uppings. And it was WOMAN (singular). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 16 March, 2009 Share Posted 16 March, 2009 'Woman'? not much of a party Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 16 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 16 March, 2009 See, I said you were a twisted perv. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 16 March, 2009 Share Posted 16 March, 2009 Nah, just a dog on heat Had my first date in 3 years about a week ago, went ok then the second date got cancelled for good, oo'er Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Channon's Sideburns Posted 17 March, 2009 Share Posted 17 March, 2009 (edited) She IS a nurse, one nurse uniform in wardrobe = good . five nurse uniforms in wardrobe = :smt083 I went out with a nurse once...absolute animal... ...must be something at Nurse's College that prepares them for debauchery!! Edited 17 March, 2009 by Channon's Sideburns Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 17 March, 2009 Author Share Posted 17 March, 2009 I went out with a nurse once...absolute animal... ...must be something at Nurse's College that prepares them for debauchery!! Decency prevents me from replying properly to this post as it does the earlier one about Ann Summers being for sluts. I will however say that my wife is a pretty good cook. :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tac-tics Posted 17 March, 2009 Share Posted 17 March, 2009 What a fredddd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clapham Saint Posted 19 March, 2009 Share Posted 19 March, 2009 I went out with a nurse once...absolute animal... ...must be something at Nurse's College that prepares them for debauchery!! +1 The one I was seeing was total filth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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