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What films are you watching?


Pancake

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Saturday night, nothing decent on the telly, couldn't be bothered to find a DVD so saw a movie on one of the sat channels "Annihilation Earth" with Luke Goss.

 

Story was basically about the Large Hadron Collider being hijacked by an Arab Terrorist and being used to wipe out Europe with a Higgs Bosun Particle.

 

Without a doubt, it was the single most risable movie I have ever seen.

 

The storyline was dreadful (The world get's destroyed by thickos) The script was "ooh you've been shot in the stomach, I think you might die darling". The CGI of cities burning were bonfire night clips superimposed on stock footage. All the Satellites fell out of the sky onto one village in France where Luke Goss happened to be but despite wiping out the village and falling within 10 feet of him he is unharmed.....

 

The two "PornStar Supermodels with big tits" wearing low cut vests that were supposed to be nerdy Quark scientists and their ACTING - lol - we know how you got the parts girls!

 

It truly was Sooooooooooo bad that we just sat and hooted with laughter and derision all the way through it.

 

Think it may possibly make it into the top ten of worst movies ever made.

 

Shortly afterwards it was followed by The Mutant Chronicles. Again, very flaky plot lines and acting, but redeemed by much better special effects and some pretty much non-stop action scenes. That one earnt a 2/10 if watched with a few beers may make it to a 3.

 

The Luke Goss movie? Has to be an admin special - minus 10

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Four Lions

 

I'm a massive Chris Morris fan, so I was really excited to see this film as I missed it first time round in the cinema. It's been bashed quite a lot by critics and internet reviewers, but I loved it. The characters were fantastic, every scene was hilarious and the ending, despite being quite sad, was also f*cking hilarious. Haven't laughed so much at a film in absolutely ages. I will say that if you're easily offended on the subject of terrorism, you probably wouldn't find it as funny as I did, but the film is hardly going out and poking fun at the victims of terrorism, it's obvious that Morris et al have thought long and hard about how to approach the subject matter. Just think of it as 'Laurel and Hardy' doing 'Paradise Now'.

 

One word: heimlich.

 

9/10

 

Sniper: [into walkie-talkie] The bear is down. Repeat, the bear is down.

[to other sniper]

Sniper: We got the bear.

Sniper: I think that's a Wookie. That's a Wookie!

Sniper: No it's not! It's a bear!

Sniper: [into walkie-talkie] Is a Wookie a bear, Control?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Watched Bad Boy Bubby the other night. Just an ordinary tale of every-day life in Australia. Or not, as the case may be.

 

One of the strangest, most disturbing, most f***ed-up films I have ever seen, about a 35-year old man who has been kept at home all his life and used as a sex slave by his mum, and whose only method of communication is to mimic what other people say and do, who escapes into the outside world.

 

Well worth a watch but be prepared for some uncomfortable viewing.

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Paranormal Activity,bloody spooky stuff.

 

Put the wind up me.7 and a bit out of 10.

 

Have not seen the second one but the first was very well done and ruined my sleep for one night....big pussy that I am.

 

The fourth Kind,again quite spooky and a tad weird,Mila Jovovich is just a bag of horn.

 

 

Apart from the pretty sinister alien possession sequences, big fail for me by trying too hard to be 'authentic'.

 

 

Book of Eli. 3/10. Yawn.

 

Predators. Not bad. Pulled off trying to be as much like the original as possible, well. 7/11.

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  • 2 weeks later...

On a plane back to Dubai this morning watched a BBC Film called Frequently Asked Questions about Time Travel.

 

Absolutely barking, and certainly helped pass a good 90 minutes or so of the flight

 

6/10 just for the whole concept that Time Travel can get you so fecked up and can happen in the Gents of your local Pub

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  • 2 weeks later...

Went to see The Way Back with my GF yesterday.

 

It's based on a true story about a group of men who break out of a Siberian gulag in 1940 and trek all the way to India to escape from the Soviets and the Nazis. It's beautifully filmed with some stunningly picturesque scenery, and Colin Farrell (who I had always had down as nothing but a pretty-boy half actor before now) is excellent as a Russian convict, but overall it lacks a certain something. The chemistry between the main characters is never fully convincing and there are only so many ways you can flesh out a story as simple as this.

 

Worth a watch

 

7/10

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I first saw this obscure old black & white film 20 years ago on late night TV, suffice it to say it made a lasting impression on me & after years of diligent searching I've finally been able to track down a copy on DVD. Praise be to Amazon !

 

The film opens with a fairly normal tale of 6 teenage boys growing up in a small provincial town - but the twist is it's Nazi Germany in April 1945 and these 16 year old's 'rites of passage' must take place amid the chaos & bloodshed of WWII's final days. To the distress (or indifference) of their family's the boys call-up papers arrive just two days before their home town is thrust into the front line, so off they march with varying degrees of enthusiasm to the local army base their heads full of naive dreams of adventure, glory and duty - lambs to the slaughter you might say.

 

With just a days basic training a kindly officer (at the behest of their school teacher) takes the trouble to try a save these children from the horrors of the frontline they are so manifestly unprepared for. Instead of marching off the rest of their battalion he arranges for a battle hardened NCO ('unteroffizier') to keep the lads in the rear area guarding an unimportant bridge of no military significance - the idea being the bridge was due to be demolished & the boys could thus be kept safe out of the real fighting. Unfortunately the best laid plans of mice & men have a habit of becoming undone in wartime, and our likable protagonists find themselves facing enemy tanks alone - with what are all too predictable consequences.

 

'War is Hell' of course and there are plenty of movies that will drive home that message, but despite what today could be seen as a over-familiar subject 'Die Bruckle' still makes its points forcibly, the appalling waste of young lives that is the very essence of war becomes painfully apparent.

 

The real tragedy is that this is all based on a true story.

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Watch out for the Coen Brothers' remake of True Grit. Jeff Bridges plays the John Wayne role to a washed-up tee, and an amazing newcomer Hailee Steinfeld plays the 14-year-old girl hell bent on avenging her father's murder. One of the best scenes has her making a complete fool of a dune-like town wannabe-moneybags. Matt Damon is a moralising Texas Ranger and Josh Brolin the bad guy.

 

Brilliant.

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Had 2 trips into Asia in last 3 weeks - 1 for work 1 for hols so have stocked up on about 40 dodgy DVD's at a quid each (never buy the newest mobvies with the hand held in cinema stuff)

 

Boxing Day watched The Expendables - was well worth the money I paid for it, daft enjoyable nonsense in a good old fashioned sort of way.

 

This evening watched Unstoppable. Now that IS a great Action Movie and really well filmed in that gritty rainy hand heldish camera sort of way. Denzil must have some thing about trains.

 

The padding was predictable and slushy, the plot was limited - train running away idiot corporate VP type making dumb decisions and a couple of losers, but I tell ya, it's a cracking movie that even manages some old fashioned edge of the seat moments even though you know what's coming.

 

Cracking Yarn 7/10

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Get him to the Greek on DVD today.

 

Well done movie documenting the mess of fecked up Rock & Roller (Russell Brand) that manages to include humour and depth at the messed up world of Sex Drugs & Rock & Roll. And even manages to take a dig at Russell non-acting as the same character from Sarah Marshall by including a clip from her TV series.

 

Good comedy, enjoyable shambles of a trip to LA and it manages to make you feel something for the shallowness of the singers life.

 

6.5/10. Worth the download/quid for the dodgy DVD.

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  • 1 month later...

Went to see True Grit yesterday.

 

Been looking forward to this release cos I'm a huge fan of everything the Coen brothers have done before. I was quite shocked and slightly alarmed to find out that they drafted in Steven Spielberg as exec producer, but that was unwarranted because it didn't detract from the originality of the Coens' work (despite this being a remake of a John Wayne classic).

 

Jeff Bridges is superb as Rooster Cogburn and I wouldn't be surprised if he wins the Oscar for it. He didn't in any way try and model himself on Wayne's version and made the role completely his own. The young girl who played Maddy Ross is that rarest of things - a child actor who can actually act - and the chemistry and dialogue between these two and Matt Damon's character is as good as you would expect. This aspect is after all the very essence of what makes the Coens' work so watchable.

 

Not their best film by any means, and I was surprised to see the inclusion of one or two movie cliches, but I assume that these were either required by the storyline of the novel or due to the Spielberg influence. It certainly didn't lessen my enjoyment of the film anyway.

 

8.5/10 - go see it.

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Watching the first few episodes of "Boardwalk Empire" .

 

It's about the prohibition era in the US. Due to be shown on the new Sky Atlantic channel next month.

 

Another quality offering from HBO.

 

We've been watching this since it was put on Sky Atlantic. Very good.

 

Hoping to see Black Swan soon but I think I'll have to go on my own or bribe a daughter to go with me :(

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Caught Harry Brown on SKY the other day. Superb acting by Michael Caine and a good solid Brit film.

 

good little cameo by Plan B in there too.

 

what i've watched recently...

 

Avatar... 7/10. was ok. got more into it as it went on, but maybe my little 40 incher wasnt big enough to get the full effect

 

Book of Eli... 3/10 zzzzz

 

The Crazies... remake so you know whats going to happen but pretty good 7/10

 

Paranormal Activity... 8/10... i looked away at the bits that i felt were going to make me jump. bloody hate that paranormal stuff!! good film tho

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Watched couple of films over the last two days...

 

Mr Nice - biopic of legendary hash smuggler Howard Marks with Rhys Ifans in the lead role. Very interesting story of his life and how he came to be a big-time dealer. Worth a watch.

 

Paul - Latest comedy from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost about two nerds who travel to the US to go to a comic book convention and end up helping an alien return home. Essentially just a parody of ET but very funny in parts and also worth a watch.

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The Other Guys

 

Had a cracking cast, wanted to be a sort of modern Stupid (ie funny) Movie. Had some ridiculous moments in it that should have been really funny, like Will Ferrell being a total babe magnet superstud & Mark Wahlberg getting ignored all the time, but somehow it was simply kr@p.

 

Best line Where the hell did you learn to drive like that? "Grand Theft Auto?" But by then the whole Hobo ****fest, and 120,000 other Prius car jokes had worn thin

 

So yeah, it rates a 2/10 - it got that much 'cos I don't think I'll see another comedy that COULD have been so daft turn out so bad.

 

Maybe, just maybe if I'd been completely bladdered & with mates it would have been hysterical, I wasn't, it wasn't

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Guest Dark Sotonic Mills
good little cameo by Plan B in there too.

 

Cameo? I thought he was one of the major players. Good acting though; I hated the little sh1t...

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Paul - Latest comedy from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost about two nerds who travel to the US to go to a comic book convention and end up helping an alien return home. Essentially just a parody of ET but very funny in parts and also worth a watch.

If only to play 'spot the quote' - including quoting Ripley back at Sigourney Weaver.

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Went to see True Grit yesterday.

 

Been looking forward to this release cos I'm a huge fan of everything the Coen brothers have done before. I was quite shocked and slightly alarmed to find out that they drafted in Steven Spielberg as exec producer, but that was unwarranted because it didn't detract from the originality of the Coens' work (despite this being a remake of a John Wayne classic).

 

Jeff Bridges is superb as Rooster Cogburn and I wouldn't be surprised if he wins the Oscar for it. He didn't in any way try and model himself on Wayne's version and made the role completely his own. The young girl who played Maddy Ross is that rarest of things - a child actor who can actually act - and the chemistry and dialogue between these two and Matt Damon's character is as good as you would expect. This aspect is after all the very essence of what makes the Coens' work so watchable.

 

Not their best film by any means, and I was surprised to see the inclusion of one or two movie cliches, but I assume that these were either required by the storyline of the novel or due to the Spielberg influence. It certainly didn't lessen my enjoyment of the film anyway.

 

8.5/10 - go see it.

 

What's your beef with Spielberg?

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Saw King's Speech at the weekend, great film, even my 11 year old enjoyed it.

 

Just watched The Prestige for about the third time. Absolutely great film.

 

The part where Borden (Bale) is hanged, he says something just before he drops. I've played it back numerous times without being able to catch what he says. Ended up having to look it up on IMDB, he says 'Abracadabra', should've guessed.

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Animal Kingdom

 

An absolute gem of an Australian crime thriller. Seventeen year old Josh finds himself living with his Grandma and her bank robbing and violent sons after the death of his Mum due to a heroin overdose. What follows is a tale of misplaced loyalty, betrayal and retribution. It's a very dark and sometimes disturbing film that lays bare some basic and almost feral human emotions and reactions in the family and within Josh as he struggles to survive in an an alien environment.

 

8.5/10

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Saw True Grit over the weekend.

 

The original was my late father's favourite film and I was forced to watch it many times growing up. I enjoyed the slightly sentimental story and the incongruous relationship that forms between the hired gun anti-hero and the young girl. I was concerned about the wisdom of remaking such an iconic, if perhaps not actually technically brilliant film. I shouldn't have worried. It was really excellent.

 

Stunning performances from Jeff Bridges and the 14 year old who plays the central role of the daughter of the murdered man. In fact the performances of the all minor characters were superb, stunning dialogue, stunning use of period 'English' and wonderfully deep characters.

 

A very different film from the original but interestingly the scene where Rooster Cogburn rides alone against the 4 bad guys was almost identical to the original. Go see it.

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Saw True Grit over the weekend.

 

The original was my late father's favourite film and I was forced to watch it many times growing up. I enjoyed the slightly sentimental story and the incongruous relationship that forms between the hired gun anti-hero and the young girl. I was concerned about the wisdom of remaking such an iconic, if perhaps not actually technically brilliant film. I shouldn't have worried. It was really excellent.

 

Stunning performances from Jeff Bridges and the 14 year old who plays the central role of the daughter of the murdered man. In fact the performances of the all minor characters were superb, stunning dialogue, stunning use of period 'English' and wonderfully deep characters.

 

A very different film from the original but interestingly the scene where Rooster Cogburn rides alone against the 4 bad guys was almost identical to the original. Go see it.

 

It is a great remake. In fact, at the risk of incurring the wrath and ire of hardened John Wayne fans, I thought that Bridges played the part of Rooster Cogburn better. There were a couple of times where Bridges was quite genuinely scary as a hired gun and he tempered this with well timed humour.

Hailee Steinfeld played the part of Mattie Ross with a maturity that belied her youth; the scene with the horse/pony trader is absolute quality.

 

Like Saintbletch says, go and see it!!!

 

PS The only film of the Coen's that I really don't like is The Ladykillers; you just cannot improve on the perfection of the original.

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