Sheaf Saint Posted 4 February, 2009 Share Posted 4 February, 2009 PLANNING APPLICATION Type of Construction Snowman Location of Construction In the back garden Size of Construction Four foot high No, in metric 1.3 metres (approx) Materials of Construction Snow Purpose of Construction Fun Have archtect's designs been included with this application? No Has a full Health and Safety Assessment been undertaken? No Will this have a detrimental effect on local properties? Unlikely Will the Construction require re-routing of essential services? No Approximately how many people will be involved in the Construction? Estimates suggest three children will build it Children? Are you aware of the regulations involved in using children for construction purposes? I didn't think it mattered. Will these be local children (i.e. children of the EU)? Yes Will their employment be at terms and conditions conforming to minimum wage legislation? No Please send your completed application to this office, together with your cheque for £75. You should receive a reply withing three months. On no account begin work on the construction before planning permission has been received. Response to this application... Dear sirs, in regard to your application for planning permission to build a snowman, I would like to address the following points... 1. The term 'snowman' is now forbidden as it is likely to be deemed sexist and cause offense. From now on, your planned construction will be known as a 'snowperson'. 2. We have no records of your organisation being registered as an equal opportunity employer. Please proviude documentation detailing the ethnicity guidelines which are to be observed when selecting contractors for construction work. 3. In accordance with current ant-terror legislation, your snowperson may be liable to arrest and detention for 42 days without charge if he/she is unable to produce adequate means of identification. Please respond to these points, along with a further cheque for £250 to cover administrative costs, before your application can be considered further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 4 February, 2009 Share Posted 4 February, 2009 Interfering busy bodies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 4 February, 2009 Share Posted 4 February, 2009 My daughter chopped off the snowmans head with a spade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 4 February, 2009 Share Posted 4 February, 2009 My daughter chopped off the snowmans head with a spade. This is just the beginning of her career as a murderer, lock her up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 4 February, 2009 Share Posted 4 February, 2009 My daughter chopped off the snowmans head with a spade. Racist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 4 February, 2009 Share Posted 4 February, 2009 Racist. Agreed. I should never have mentioned his 'snow' heritage. I apologise. He could equally have been made of sand, rock, mud or water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 4 February, 2009 Share Posted 4 February, 2009 Agreed. I should never have mentioned his 'snow' heritage. I apologise. He could equally have been made of sand, rock, mud or water. Then it would have been this chap: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julian H. Cope Posted 4 February, 2009 Share Posted 4 February, 2009 I got a load of Italians & Hungarians to build mine. The children have gone and got ACAS involved.Short arsed lefty nutters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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