Midfield_General Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) On another thread there was a mention of former persistent transfer rumour Quincy Promes, who ended up getting sentenced to six years for helping to smuggle 1,360 kilos of cocaine. While Promes never actually signed for us, it did get me thinking - do we have a full Saints Criminal XI of players who got done by the police either while playing for us or afterwards? Some that spring immediately to mind are: Jhon Viafara: got 11 years in 2021, again for coke, this time trafficking two tonnes worth £21m. Pretty impressive crime and sentence, so a good shout for captain Nathan Dyer: got 60 hours community service for stealing from a nightclub cloakroom Neil Shipperley: got a 12 month community order for wanking at people from a van Bradley Wright-Phillips: got arrested and charged for the same crime as Dyer, but ultimately got off due to lack of evidence - maybe he could go on the bench Mark Dennis: didn't he get done for GBH back in the day, and the club sacked him? Any others? Edited June 5 by Midfield_General Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Katalinic's 'tache Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) Lee Barnard? Although I think he was cleared of assault in the end? Edited June 5 by Ivan Katalinic's 'tache 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midfield_General Posted June 5 Author Share Posted June 5 (edited) 1 hour ago, Ivan Katalinic's 'tache said: Lee Barnard? Crime/ sentence? EDIT: Found it. Tried for assault but cleared. Bench. Edited June 5 by Midfield_General Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) Is Van Gobbel still on the run from Dutch police for fraud? edit : found it https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSL27184913/ Edited June 5 by Hatch 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Charlie Austin - That performance against Fulham. 2 19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkoksaint Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 James Beattie got done for drink driving? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midfield_General Posted June 5 Author Share Posted June 5 Claus got arrested twice in a month, surprisingly not for drugs, but instead for drink-driving and assault Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Fabrice Fernandez was a drink driver. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Mikey Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) Didn't Justin Robertson go to prison for drink driving? Think he may have killed someone? Think it happened before he was playing for us, but sentenced while he was on loan. He played about 3 games and scored one (very) good goal when we were in the Champ, I think. Edited June 5 by Saint Mikey 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 8 minutes ago, Pancake said: Fabrice Fernandez was a drink driver. Was he caught driving around in circles? 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingeletiss Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Bruce Grobbelaar…………. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggie May Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 8 minutes ago, Saint Mikey said: Didn't Justin Robertson go to prison for drink driving? Think he may have killed someone? Think it happened before he was playing for us, but sentenced while he was on loan. He played about 3 games and scored one (very) good goal when we were in the Champ, I think. Yeah, it was Jordan Robertson. It happened while he was on loan with us, too. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midfield_General Posted June 5 Author Share Posted June 5 5 minutes ago, Gingeletiss said: Bruce Grobbelaar…………. (Allegedly) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Redknapp can be manager 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Chuckle Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Dennis Wise went to prison I think in the 90s for assaulting a taxi driver? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikec Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 3 minutes ago, Hatch said: Redknapp can be manager Or Lawrie McMenemy who was also done for drink-driving. Doubly embarrassing because he had previously been fronting an advert for Barbican alcohol-free lager. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 The value for money we've got out of Sulemana is fucking criminal tbf MLT revealed he'd tried betting on games he could influence and was investigated but nothing came of it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) I seem to recall Gabbiadini having a motoring offence whilst with us. Guly - didn’t he put his 4x4 into a bus shelter whilst under the influence ? Thomas Hjato - charged somewhere for importing illegal cigarettes from recollection Edited June 5 by Badger 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) Neil Shipperley. No further comment required Edited June 5 by Badger 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee On Solent Saint Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Think Ryan Betrand got done for speeding when with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Mark Wright and Steve Moran both got arrested for sexual assault when Saints played a UEFA cup game in Sweden. Both released without charge I believe Kerry Dixon don’t banged up for assault a while back 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) I've been Googling former Academy prospect Danny Mountain and watching his various videos where he has dalliances with multiple, multiple ladies but so far, no crimes found. I'll keep checking though. 😀 Edited June 5 by SNSUN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint86 Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Guly Du prado - drink driving 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandwichsaint Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Shilts drink driving and adultery. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 48 minutes ago, sandwichsaint said: Shilts drink driving and adultery. All in the same evening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikec Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 8 minutes ago, Badger said: All in the same evening But hopefully not at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HKsaint Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 (edited) Dave Jones but acquitted Edited June 5 by HKsaint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Neil Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Didn't Nile Ranger nick a load of training gear when he was in the youth team? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 49 minutes ago, HKsaint said: Dave Jones but acquitted Bit unfair to even bring that up. I wasn't convinced of him as a manager but he seemed a decent enough bloke victim of false allegations from a couple of scrotes . 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-Clarke Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 5 minutes ago, St. Neil said: Didn't Nile Ranger nick a load of training gear when he was in the youth team? That's quite muted given the rest of the crap he's done in his life, assault, fraud, prison time - you name it. Should definitely be in the team. I want to say Valery did something bad, but I can't remember exactly what. It might not have been criminal and more personal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 3 minutes ago, S-Clarke said: That's quite muted given the rest of the crap he's done in his life, assault, fraud, prison time - you name it. Should definitely be in the team. I want to say Valery did something bad, but I can't remember exactly what. It might not have been criminal and more personal. Valery was accused of some pretty horrible stuff, which I wont repeat, by a woman on Twitter. If you know you know, but it was pretty unpleasant, never proven and best not dragged up again. The Ranger fraud stuff was just mental. Mainly because you'd have to be some sort of Oxbridge graduate accountant/hacker to have had any chance of pulling it off and that bloke is thicker than a whale sandwhich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Convict Colony Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Ulrich van Gobbel the human brick shithouse jailed for fraud 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 5 hours ago, Hatch said: Redknapp can be manager We're not having Bob Higgins as coach... right? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 2 hours ago, Badger said: Bit unfair to even bring that up. I wasn't convinced of him as a manager but he seemed a decent enough bloke victim of false allegations from a couple of scrotes . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southner Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Didn't Nick Holmes burgle houses?* *This did not happen. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midfield_General Posted June 5 Author Share Posted June 5 (edited) Thank you all for your input. After a tough selection process the squad is: First XI: Peter Shilton (Drink-driving, 20 months ban) Ulrich Van Gobbel (Fraud, 4 months prison) Claus Lundekvam (Assault, £500 fine) Thomas Hajto (Manslaughter, 2 years prison (suspended); Cigarette smuggling, 180,000 Euro fine) (Captain) Jhon Viafara (Cocaine trafficking, 11 years U.S. federal prison) Dennis Wise (Assault, 3 months prison) Nathan Dyer (Theft, 60 hours community service) Neil Shipperley (Van wanking, 12 months community order) Jordan Robertson (Death by dangerous driving, 32 months prison) Kerry Dixon (Assault, 9 months prison) Nile Ranger (Fraud, 8 months prison) Manager: Harry Redknapp Assistant Manager: Lawrie McMenemy Youth Team Coach: Bob Higgins Chairman: Gao Jisheng Subs: Bruce Grobbelaar (Charged with match-fixing and conspiracy to corrupt, tried, got off (just) despite 'adequate evidence of dishonesty') Fabrice Fernandes (Drink-driving, 100 hours community service) James Beattie (Drink-driving, 100 hours community service) Triallists: Bradley Wright-Phillips (Charged with theft, tried, cleared for lack of evidence) Mark Dennis (Charged with assault and threatening to burn down someone's house, tried, cleared) Lee Barnard (Charged with assault, tried, cleared) Guly (Charged with drink driving, can't seem to find out what happened) Roving club ambassador: Frank Worthington Top summer transfer target: Quincy Promes Sponsor: LD Sports Edited June 6 by Midfield_General 1 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lymington Saint Posted June 5 Share Posted June 5 Frank worthington. Caused an accident on a motorway and drove off as he had a speaking engagement. Got a hefty ban. Also appeared in court in US numerous times for driving offences 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint86 Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 Technically Matt Le Tissier for football betting - he just escaped prosecution Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonbenali Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 How about Osvaldo for his headbutt on Fonte? I think he also punched Lamela. Worth a spot on the bench even if didn't go to trial and he could always do the team song! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midfield_General Posted June 6 Author Share Posted June 6 With anything to do with Matty it's 100% innocent until proven guilty as far as I'm concerned 😉 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suhari Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 23 hours ago, Lighthouse said: Valery was accused of some pretty horrible stuff, which I wont repeat, by a woman on Twitter. If you know you know, but it was pretty unpleasant, never proven and best not dragged up again. The Ranger fraud stuff was just mental. Mainly because you'd have to be some sort of Oxbridge graduate accountant/hacker to have had any chance of pulling it off and that bloke is thicker than a whale sandwhich. Agreed about the Valery stuff. Glad it went quiet and was, hopefully, completely groundless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suhari Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 On 05/06/2024 at 11:28, Midfield_General said: ... Neil Shipperley: got a 12 month community order for wanking at people from a van ..... The crime is comical; your description is about the best thing I've read today. Someone needs to make a T-shirt..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctoroncall Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 although nothing criminal, Hoedt was a wankpuffin. Guly’s details on his misdemeanour. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted June 6 Share Posted June 6 3 hours ago, Midfield_General said: With anything to do with Matty it's 100% innocent until proven guilty as far as I'm concerned 😉 Insulting God is blasphemy. 49 minutes ago, Doctoroncall said: although nothing criminal, Hoedt was a wankpuffin. Guly’s details on his misdemeanour. If there was an upvote button, 'wankpuffin' gets it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintNewForest Posted June 7 Share Posted June 7 The relegated team of 2022/23 for crimes against football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted June 8 Share Posted June 8 On 06/06/2024 at 13:32, Saint86 said: Technically Matt Le Tissier for football betting - he just escaped prosecution I was thinking of that one. In his autobiography wasn't it? Getting on the when the ball would go out of play? I got the feeling that, while Matt said it was his first and only time, that it wasn't for others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikec Posted June 8 Share Posted June 8 7 hours ago, Holmes_and_Watson said: I was thinking of that one. In his autobiography wasn't it? Getting on the when the ball would go out of play? I got the feeling that, while Matt said it was his first and only time, that it wasn't for others. Yes he claimed that he and Gordon Watson had a plan to kick the ball out for a throw-in as soon as they could from the kick-off. There was apparently a "spread betting" market where they could make a healthy profit if the first throw-in was well within the first minute. According to MLT, he kicked a long ball the out to the left but didn't hit it hard enough and Neil Shipperly, who was not in on the plan, managed to keep the ball in play. This was supposedly a televised match away to Wimbledon. After he wrote this in his autobiography, I seem to remember that some people looked more closely into it and what happenned in that game didn't really match up to what he had described but I could be wrong about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totton Saint Posted June 11 Share Posted June 11 On 05/06/2024 at 12:05, Whitey Grandad said: Was he caught driving around in circles? good joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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