Saints Web Footie Team

[The Left Back]

Inspired by cat shit in the lounge area of this forum (see small things that annoy you) and given how quiet it is on here during mourning, I thought I’d have a crack at starting a team of forum users based on their user name (or where they played if we get desperate). I’m assuming @The Cat was a keeper. You may have guessed I played left back. Who else might make up our illustrious squad? 

[hypochondriac]

I'm Marian Pahars.

[Whitey Grandad]

May I grab right back?

[Killers Knee]

Centre Back

 

[The Cat]

MLG for manager please.

I have vague memories of playing in some forum team at the Sports Centre ages ago, although I could be wrong. Was it something that Steve organised? 

[OttawaSaint]

3 hours ago, Whitey Grandad said:

May I grab right back?

No, that's a foul. No grabbing. Yellow card!

[Holmes_and_Watson]

21 minutes ago, The Cat said:

MLG for manager please.

I have vague memories of playing in some forum team at the Sports Centre ages ago, although I could be wrong. Was it something that Steve organised? 

The only manager both sides agree to have sent off, following a 10 minute delay over the first throw in decision going against him. 🙂

[LiberalCommunist]

I'll be Redmond, put no effort in, tell you all how shit it is, then fuck off. But look carefully, and you may well find a beautiful message here that will make you cry. 

[cloggy saint]

I challenge The Cat's position.

[egg]

I'll be in the post match sandwiches.

On the pitch, I'd do a job in the middle of the park. 

 

 

[Chris cooper]

Mark Dennis ( pyscho .. pyscho 🎶

[Wurzel]

I'll stake a claim for silly mid-off.

[Yorkshire Saint]

Number 7 bagged. 

[Pilchards]

Anyone remember Militram on the back of a shirt rather than Miltram?

Those were the days when members of this forum would get together for a home/away match.

[Turkish]

11 hours ago, egg said:

I'll be in the post match sandwiches.

On the pitch, I'd do a job in the middle of the park. 

 

 

That's my old position, i considered myself to be like Pirlo. I got roped into playing friday night by one of the other coaches at my sons football team, i must have been the oldest by 15 years, the touch is still there but i was never the quickest at the best of times and now my sprinting was their jogging pace. I did enjoy it though when one of the lads put a tackle in on me and he bounced off and went flying on his arse, which prompted lots of LOLs from the other lads. So i think i'll share sandwich duty with you if that's alright. 

 

[SNSUN]

SNSUN - Striker, Normally Substitute, Useless & Nasty

[egg]

20 minutes ago, Turkish said:

That's my old position, i considered myself to be like Pirlo. I got roped into playing friday night by one of the other coaches at my sons football team, i must have been the oldest by 15 years, the touch is still there but i was never the quickest at the best of times and now my sprinting was their jogging pace. I did enjoy it though when one of the lads put a tackle in on me and he bounced off and went flying on his arse, which prompted lots of LOLs from the other lads. So i think i'll share sandwich duty with you if that's alright. 

 

Ha! I can relate to that. Whenever I kick a ball (years after the last time) I'm always surprised that my touch is still there, and the ability to still judge the weight of pass etc. The legs are fecked though. It's brilliant how the kids bounce off us though.

I'll do the buttering and filling if you like, you can do the triangles. 

[Uncle Albert]

I can cover all the maritime travel needs.

[Micky]

I have an FA Coaching half badge.  Completed while I was serving in Harrogate many moons ago.  Can I put out the cones?

[Lighthouse]

I call dibs on the slightly card happy, narcissistic referee.

[FarehamSaintJames]

I was a RW/Striker and used to want to play like Theo Walcott. How I regretted that as the years went by. 🤣

 

[Turkish]

21 minutes ago, Lighthouse said:

I call dibs on the slightly card happy, narcissistic referee.

As a mod I would naturally have expected you to be the sort of person that would be a referee.

[vince]

19 hours ago, The Cat said:

MLG for manager please.

I have vague memories of playing in some forum team at the Sports Centre ages ago, although I could be wrong. Was it something that Steve organised? 

I played in at least one of those against Arsenal at the Sports Centre.  I took a call from my wife before the game where she told me she was expecting with our first, who is now 19 so yes, ages ago.

[Midfield_General]

Ancient, unused 3rd keeper. The Willy Caballero/ Stuart Taylor/ Kevin Miller role. 

Basically just there for moral support and praying that The Cat and/or Cloggy don't get injured. 

 

[Lighthouse]

1 hour ago, Turkish said:

As a mod I would naturally have expected you to be the sort of person that would be a referee.

Want to be my VAR against the Dog and Parrot this weekend?

[cloggy saint]

2 hours ago, Midfield_General said:

Ancient, unused 3rd keeper.

Your user name suggests otherwise ....

[Midfield_General]

I know… it’s very misleading, but “Ancient_Unused_Keeper” just didn’t have the same ring to it 

[Convict Colony]

Am happy to showing players porn on the iPad before they come on.

[The Cat]

3 hours ago, Lighthouse said:

Want to be my VAR against the Dog and Parrot this weekend?

As a mod I had you down as ref.

We need 2 teams anyway. Happy Clappers United Vs xG City.

Or maybe the Ralph Apologists against everyone who wanted him sacked.

[whelk]

I was centre forward. Think Haaland. CB towards the end when lost a bit of pace

[SNSUN]

1 minute ago, whelk said:

I was centre forward. Think Haaland. CB towards the end when lost a bit of pace

Striker converted to CB sounds more like Dion Dublin! 😉

[badgerx16]

6 hours ago, Midfield_General said:

Ancient, unused 3rd keeper. The Willy Caballero/ Stuart Taylor/ Kevin Miller role. 

Basically just there for moral support and praying that The Cat and/or Cloggy don't get injured. 

 

Given that I was also a GK we might even end up with more than Saints have.

 

 

[sandwichsaint]

Looks like I'm going to be roped into the catering duties too.

On the pitch can I be Jason Puncheon? All that running around in the first half, I might need to be a little delayed before we come back out for the second half.

[egg]

10 minutes ago, sandwichsaint said:

Looks like I'm going to be roped into the catering duties too.

On the pitch can I be Jason Puncheon? All that running around in the first half, I might need to be a little delayed before we come back out for the second half.

Egg Sandwiches all round 👍

[Saint Keef]

Physio table for me please. I think I just tweaked a calf muscle going from my living room to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

[benjii]

On 12/09/2022 at 18:09, hypochondriac said:

I'm Marian Pahars.

Your best ever post.

[benjii]

On 13/09/2022 at 19:09, Convict Colony said:

Am happy to showing players porn on the iPad before they come on.

You're Robbie Slater, mush.

[Whitey Grandad]

32 minutes ago, benjii said:

Your best ever post.

Speaking of which, who’s going to play the goals?

[LaptopSaint]

Obviously I'm doing video analysis. 

On the pitch. I'm Jack Stephens. Wholehearted centre back, not quite as good as most of the opposition players, but pretty good at winding them up. 

[Jazzfunk]

Mercurial schemer

[Toussaint]

I'm happy to provide sports massages for the girls team, have no qualifications or experience but I think I'd compensate for those shortcomings with my undying enthusiasm.  

[Miltonaggro]

Old fashioned centre half, not much finesse but fully committed.  Whenever we played Bellmoor who had Benali as a forward - in the pocket.