Getting married abroad?

[jawillwill]

I've got a close relative getting married in Spain next year. They are having a relatively small wedding followed by a larger party later in the week. This will involve staying for a minimum of 4 nights (and probably 4 days booked off work). The recommended / only viable hotel nearby isn't particularly cheap.

Both events have different dress codes (which will require most people to get two new outfits). 

They have a gift list (mainly asking for honeymoon donations).

Am I within my rights to think it's a bit selfish to expect people (me) to attend? Or am I highly miserable?

[skintsaint]

52 minutes ago, jawillwill said:

Am I within my rights to think it's a bit selfish to expect people (me) to attend? Or am I highly miserable?

Yeah don't think its too unreasonable to say you can't attend. I would probably take a few weeks holiday and bugger off somewhere else after.

[The Kraken]

I’ve done two weddings abroad, one in Italy and one in Ibiza, and they were both fantastic. Both couples at the start stressed that it was their choice to get married overseas and they recognised that a lot of people might not be able to make it.

If it’s too expensive and /or holiday time off allowance is too much then yes, that’s a problem that you’d be justified in not going for the full duration. But If you can go I personally would advise it as, like I say, I’ve got so many good memories of both I went to, a holiday abroad with a bunch of friends in a sunny place.

Pretty sure there was no wedding list ‘thing’ though as they recognised everyone had spent out on flights and hotel.

[whelk]

I think also depends when you get married. If you are first of group then chances are mates may have higher disposable income and less dependencies. 
I remember few extravagant stag dos I missed as had 3 young children and few mates were similar so couldn’t attend as either skint or no time off from families
 

[Plastic]

If its not affordable, or if you just don't want to use your time/money to celebrate someone else's life event, that's a perfectly reasonable choice.

I had a friend who I had not spoken to for a couple of years contact me to see if I wanted to come to his birthday, they had rented a large property in Cornwall for the weekend, and sadly someone had dropped out, so 'it would be great to see you', and it would 'only cost you £500'. I politely declined. 

[Whitey Grandad]

1 hour ago, Plastic said:

If its not affordable, or if you just don't want to use your time/money to celebrate someone else's life event, that's a perfectly reasonable choice.

I had a friend who I had not spoken to for a couple of years contact me to see if I wanted to come to his birthday, they had rented a large property in Cornwall for the weekend, and sadly someone had dropped out, so 'it would be great to see you', and it would 'only cost you £500'. I politely declined. 

They only wanted you for your money.