Worst Movie Clichés

[Lighthouse]

Bad guy - usually an international drugs/arms dealer, terrorist, stalker or serial killer - gets captured early in the movie by special forces/police in a raid which clearly took months of planning. Bad guy is then immediately granted bail, despite being a massive escape risk and danger to the public.

[Whitey Grandad]

Incriminating evidence gets dropped/falls out of a pocket/gets forgotten.

Car won’t start.

Woman trips over/breaks shoe heel/twists ankle.

Murderous villain gets knocked out but the history hero doesn’t take the opportunity to finish them off or at the very least take their weapons away or tie them up.

[badgerx16]

Hero gets captured by the big baddy. Big Baddy devises a convoluted method for disposing of the hero, but has something more pressing than to actually stand and watch the execution take place. Hero is left unattended and 'with one bound' works his way free, at the last possible moment.

Meanwhile, Big Baddy has enabled his doomsday device which has a red digital timer, he sets the final countdown and leaves. Hero arrives, having just made his miraculous escape, and defuses the device with 1 second remaining.

[Raging Bull]

Edit 

Edited 1 January, 2021 by Raging Bull

[buctootim]

17 hours ago, badgerx16 said:

Hero gets captured by the big baddy. Big Baddy devises a convoluted method for disposing of the hero, but has something more pressing than to actually stand and watch the execution take place. Hero is left unattended and 'with one bound' works his way free, at the last possible moment.

Meanwhile, Big Baddy has enabled his doomsday device which has a red digital timer, he sets the final countdown and leaves. Hero arrives, having just made his miraculous escape, and defuses the device with 1 second remaining.

You spoiled the ending 🥺😡

[badgerx16]

24 minutes ago, buctootim said:

You spoiled the ending 🥺😡

I was thinking of submitting that post as the script for the next Bond film

[whelk]

Lift scenes

[Wes Tender]

Worst movie cliches, eh?

Here are all the German Second World War ones:-

 

[Manuel]

Friend of mine is into movies, the modern Hollywood stuff.  All of them seem to have good people/bad people and a loose plot.  The choice of weapon will be different for each film; fists, machetes, machine guns, phasers, whatever.  What will be consistent though is that the good and the bad will fight throughout, whilst loosely maintaining the already loose plot, culminating in one large fight at the end when the good will win.   It's unlikely anyone will eat or drink anything or will need to go to the loo.  

[whelk]

2 hours ago, Manuel said:

Friend of mine is into movies, the modern Hollywood stuff.  All of them seem to have good people/bad people and a loose plot.  The choice of weapon will be different for each film; fists, machetes, machine guns, phasers, whatever.  What will be consistent though is that the good and the bad will fight throughout, whilst loosely maintaining the already loose plot, culminating in one large fight at the end when the good will win.   It's unlikely anyone will eat or drink anything or will need to go to the loo.  

John Travolta took a shit in Pulp Fiction.  Cost him dearly so should be a lesson for others

Edited 2 January, 2021 by whelk

[sadoldgit]

Any screenplay written by Richard Curtis.

[Hamilton Saint]

--young children are always smarter than the adults

--nobody in a group shoot-out ever runs out of ammunition

--when cars plummet over a cliff, they always explode when hey hit the ground

--when characters don the uniform of baddies they've killed or tied up, the clothes are invariably a perfect fit

--when the protagonist in a fight scene faces about a dozen opponents, they always agree to attack him one or two at a time

[Whitey Grandad]

10 hours ago, Hamilton Saint said:

--young children are always smarter than the adults

--nobody in a group shoot-out ever runs out of ammunition

--when cars plummet over a cliff, they always explode when hey hit the ground

--when characters don the uniform of baddies they've killed or tied up, the clothes are invariably a perfect fit

--when the protagonist in a fight scene faces about a dozen opponents, they always agree to attack him one or two at a time

Sometimes they explode before they hit the ground.

[Toadhall Saint]

Always giving the “hero” a chance. Ah mr bond I’ll just leave you to escape - fuck that shoot the twat and have it done.

[whelk]

Police boss never believing the smart hero and suspending them

[badgerx16]

 

52 minutes ago, whelk said:

Police boss never believing the smart hero and suspending them

Local political leader, normally the Mayor, ignoring the 'expert' because there is a local holiday or pageant coming up, and thereby missing the chance to avert disaster.

[31cc]

On 12/01/2021 at 17:02, whelk said:

Police boss never believing the smart hero and suspending them

'I just need 48 hours to crack this case...'

'You got 24, now get outta here!'

[badgerx16]

Cavalry the gallop at full speed when going anywhere, and can maintain it for hours at a time.

[Sheaf Saint]

When the leading man and leading lady absolutely have to get it on, despite how implausible their mutual attraction might be and how irrelevant it is to the main narrative.

When the hero is in a gunfight and is stood in the open getting shot at from all sides, but still manages to kill everyone and end the scene unscathed.

When the hero does finally get shot, but only sustains a very minor injury and still manages to kill everyone and save the day.

[Sheaf Saint]

On 12/01/2021 at 17:56, badgerx16 said:

 

Local political leader, normally the Mayor, ignoring the 'expert' because there is a local holiday or pageant coming up, and thereby missing the chance to avert disaster.

This doesn't seem quite as ridiculous and clichéd anymore, given the bizarre decision to go ahead with the Cheltenham festival last year.

[whelk]

Nobody prematurely ejaculates when having sex. I heard it is a problem for some😀

[Lighthouse]

1 hour ago, whelk said:

Nobody prematurely ejaculates when having sex. I heard it is a problem for some😀

I wrote a musical about erectile dysfunction once but none of the major studios went for it.

[badgerx16]

3 hours ago, Lighthouse said:

I wrote a musical about erectile dysfunction once but none of the major studios went for it.

As a concept it didn't stand up.

[Mystic Force]

When the hero is being framed for something, 50 cops show up instantaneously instead of them being told sorry we do not have enough officers to deal with that right now, and the person reporting it should come to the station in two weeks to fill in a form "when someone will be available"

[Weston Super Saint]

Plumber goes in to fix washing machine only to find the 'lady' of the house scantily clad. Invariably he ends up smashing her back doors in.

[Manuel]

1 hour ago, Weston Super Saint said:

Plumber goes in to fix washing machine only to find the 'lady' of the house scantily clad. Invariably he ends up smashing her back doors in.

Clumsy idiot.  Doubt he tidied up afterwards either.  

[Jeremy]

English supporters on a road trip:

 

I heard Vinnie Jones was originally from Southhampton and is Turkish's cousin. 😁 (in case some dick thinks I'm being serious).

[percy windham]

When someone has their head stamped on and their eyeball flies across the room, landing in someone’s mouth. 

[Secret Site Agent]

On 12/01/2021 at 17:02, whelk said:

Police boss never believing the smart hero and suspending them

Or the boss gives them '24 hours'.  They never discuss if they actually achieve the 24 hour deadline, sometimes taking weeks to succeed.

[Secret Site Agent]

On 15/01/2021 at 16:48, Weston Super Saint said:

Plumber goes in to fix washing machine only to find the 'lady' of the house scantily clad. Invariably he ends up smashing her back doors in.

I think that these sort of 'MOVIES' are ruining the next generation.

For a start, it'll give them really poor expectation on how long it takes a plumber to arrive.

 

[Secret Site Agent]

When there is a need for an important tool, but soemone has an elastic band and a hair clip and this does the job.

Also picking a lock in second.......literally seconds........and with a paperclip, bit of metal, fork, spoon, shoelace, hair clip, child's toy, scissors, crayon, bit of a pen.

Edited 25 January, 2021 by Secret Site Agent

[Weston Super Saint]

22 minutes ago, Secret Site Agent said:

I think that these sort of 'MOVIES' are ruining the next generation.

For a start, it'll give them really poor expectation on how long it takes a plumber to arrive.

 

On the flip side it's teaching them not to expect the plumber to fix the problem which is far more realistic.

[Uncle Albert]

"Don't you die on me!"

[Whitey Grandad]

When they get into their car in the dark and relax and five seconds later somebody jumps up from the back seat and puts a plastic bag over their head or a wire around their neck. How can you get into a vehicle without noticing an adult slumped across the rear seat?

[ecuk268]

On 15/01/2021 at 13:14, Lighthouse said:

I wrote a musical about erectile dysfunction once but none of the major studios went for it.

It was a flop then.

.

Edited 5 February, 2021 by ecuk268

[ecuk268]

In a war film anyone showing a picture of their wife and kids is doomed.

[Lighthouse]

6 minutes ago, ecuk268 said:

In a war film anyone showing a picture of their wife and kids is doomed.

Likewise a Police film. In fact if any friend of the protagonist seems to be generally content with life, you know what's coming.

[Lighthouse]

I'd love for someone to make a spoof apocalypse movie and at the end Sean Bean is the only man left alive.

[OldNick]

bomb about to go off and the counter is at one when the hero has pulled the correct wire out when he had a choice of 2

[Badger]

On 05/02/2021 at 14:04, Lighthouse said:

I'd love for someone to make a spoof apocalypse movie and at the end Sean Bean is the only man left alive.

And he plays a character without a Yorkshire accent.

[revolution saint]

Heroes being ex military types who carry around the responsiblity of not being able to save all their platoon.  Their guilt is writ large on their face as they stare moodily out at people who just don't understand them.  No one knows what it was like out there.  "That's on me" they'll say as they come to terms with the terrible burden in a world that has conveniently forgotten it's soldiers.

Edited 8 February, 2021 by revolution saint
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