Lighthouse Posted 30 July, 2019 Share Posted 30 July, 2019 Sitting in my living room with a cold, with a bog roll next to me on the sofa, then going for a dump and forgetting said bog roll, thus ending up unarmed in a state of reduced hygiene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 2 August, 2019 Share Posted 2 August, 2019 Whatever end you open a packet of tablets, you'll ALWAYS get the end with the piece of paper (that no-one reads) wrapped over the pills. Schrödinger's paper insert. It exists at both ends of the packet simultaneously until you select which end will be opened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 5 August, 2019 Share Posted 5 August, 2019 "The HMS.....". It's either "HMS Shipname" or "The Shipname", and the BBC, as the biggest culprit, should know better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan The Flames Posted 6 August, 2019 Share Posted 6 August, 2019 People sitting at the entrance of a petrol station waiting to see what lane comes free first, blocking anyone else from entering and eventually blocking the road. People pulling up to petrol pumps just to go in to the store to buy stuff. Going to add people who get back into their cars and then fiddle about for ages before pulling off; write milage in a little ****in book, set the sat nav, adjust the mirror, pull on the seat belt and then pull away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohio Saint Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 "The HMS.....". It's either "HMS Shipname" or "The Shipname", and the BBC, as the biggest culprit, should know better. HMS Shipname? Bloody hell, the navy are really lacking imagination these days, even Wifename or Mydogname could think of something better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 Sean Bean. His name should rhyme but it doesn't. You're either 'Seen Been' or 'Shawn Bourne'. You're not having it both ways, kn*bhead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manuel Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 People who create silly names for themselves. Bear Grylls for example (real name Edward). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohio Saint Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 Morons who have made up sensible names like Donald Trump. Real name Orangehead Fannygrabber. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 7 August, 2019 Author Share Posted 7 August, 2019 Small writing on food packaging. All I want is to know how long it takes in the oven which shouldn’t have the same focus and prominence of the emulsifier details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 HMS Shipname? Bloody hell, the navy are really lacking imagination these days, even Wifename or Mydogname could think of something better! Remember, we are the nation that gave the World "Boaty McBoatface". ( Also, on Monday I saw a road cleaning truck named Meryl Sweep ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manuel Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 Remember, we are the nation that gave the World "Boaty McBoatface". That name was superb and should have stuck. I should add to this thread "People who put decisions in the hands of the public then get upset when they don't like the public's decision (this comment is NOT Brexit related)." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohio Saint Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 (edited) HMS Boaty McBoatface. Settled. The perfect name for a ship. The popular vote always wins except in general elections. Edited 7 August, 2019 by Ohio Saint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 7 August, 2019 Author Share Posted 7 August, 2019 Transfer window countdown clocks to the hundredth of a second Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manuel Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 Boatface Grylls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shroppie Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 People who pronounce H as haitch. Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohio Saint Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 The word oriental now being politically incorrect (in the US at least) I mean, really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohio Saint Posted 7 August, 2019 Share Posted 7 August, 2019 Darn!! Getting the weather forecast showing a sunny day, so mowing the yard and getting a tornado siren half way through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 11 August, 2019 Share Posted 11 August, 2019 People who create silly names for themselves. Bear Grylls for example (real name Edward). Not quite as toe curlingly pretentious as the names he gave his kids - Marmaduke Mickey Percy Grylls and Huckleberry Edward Jocelyne Grylls What a ****ing tosser. Sadistic one at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpsaint Posted 12 August, 2019 Share Posted 12 August, 2019 Lorries overtaking other lorries on the motorway, creating a massive queue of traffic in their wake as one speed limited tosser fights to get in front of another speed limited tosser who could slow down a couple of mph to help everyone out but would rather be a ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 12 August, 2019 Share Posted 12 August, 2019 Americans who pronounce the word "buoy" booee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shurlock Posted 12 August, 2019 Share Posted 12 August, 2019 (edited) Chumps who identify themselves on Twitter as ‘proud dads’. Edited 12 August, 2019 by shurlock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 paper straws. What is the point? I was at the zoo yesterday and in the cafe, bought a cold drink. Plastic cup, plastic lid, paper straw at least some feel better about themselves, I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 paper straws. What is the point? I was at the zoo yesterday and in the cafe, bought a cold drink. Plastic cup, plastic lid, paper straw at least some feel better about themselves, I guess Apparently, McDonalds' paper straws cannot be recycled ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 People getting on trains on the first carriage then walking the whole length to find a seat , even though the train is not due to leave for another 10/15 minutes. Just walk along the platform ffs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 paper straws. What is the point? I was at the zoo yesterday and in the cafe, bought a cold drink. Plastic cup, plastic lid, paper straw at least some feel better about themselves, I guess So you don't think filling the oceans with plastic crap is an issue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 So you don't think filling the oceans with plastic crap is an issue? Yes it is but banning plastic straws (which apparently can be recycled) for paper straws (that apparently can't) to be used with a plastic cup (with a plastic lid) is f-ing stupid Same with paper bags in supermarkets. The carbon footprint is make those is more damaging to the environment than plastic bags. As long as people feel better about themselves making almost no positive impact to the environment, great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benjii Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Paper straws suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 13 August, 2019 Author Share Posted 13 August, 2019 I like to throw plastic straws at dolphins. Universities banning beef burgers. Come on everyone do your bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Yes it is but banning plastic straws (which apparently can be recycled) for paper straws (that apparently can't) to be used with a plastic cup (with a plastic lid) is f-ing stupid Same with paper bags in supermarkets. The carbon footprint is make those is more damaging to the environment than plastic bags. As long as people feel better about themselves making almost no positive impact to the environment, great! Paper is biodegradable. Plastic is not. The cups can be recycled at specialist centres. The lids are made from recycled plastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 I like to throw plastic straws at dolphins. Universities banning beef burgers. Come on everyone do your bit. Throw in Prince Hewitt graciously claiming not to have any more than 2 kids. Every little helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamesaint Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Throw in Prince Hewitt graciously claiming not to have any more than 2 kids. Every little helps! Why exactly does this annoy you?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Yes it is but banning plastic straws (which apparently can be recycled) for paper straws (that apparently can't) to be used with a plastic cup (with a plastic lid) is f-ing stupid Same with paper bags in supermarkets. The carbon footprint is make those is more damaging to the environment than plastic bags. As long as people feel better about themselves making almost no positive impact to the environment, great! The straws are biodegradable and therefore much less harmful I've not been to a British supermarket with paper bags, pretty much everywhere is reusable bags now. Harry and Meg have never claimed they would solve the worlds problems but they're doing their bit. If everyone only had 2 or fewer children, it would solve 90% of the environment's issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aintforever Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Throw in Prince Hewitt graciously claiming not to have any more than 2 kids. Every little helps! To be fair the carbon footprint of the average Royal is probably not very little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shurlock Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Why exactly does this annoy you?? Virtue signalling and all them breeding curry-munchers that means we're doomed either way innit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Why exactly does this annoy you??Because the two children he does have will on average have a much much larger carbon footprint than most other people in the country. The only reason he announced that was to virtue signal and make himself feel good about what a special person he is. That attitude which is pervasive in modern society is what annoys me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Call centres. Especially ones that spend the first couple of minutes telling you that you can find all your answers on their website. Don't they realise that if I could find what I wanted there I wouldn't be calling them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 People getting on trains on the first carriage then walking the whole length to find a seat , even though the train is not due to leave for another 10/15 minutes. Just walk along the platform ffs. ^Very much this And the cretins that do this tend to have 16 bags strapped around their neck, thus clattering into everyone as they walk down the carriage. Buffoons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Call centres. Especially ones that spend the first couple of minutes telling you that you can find all your answers on their website. Don't they realise that if I could find what I wanted there I wouldn't be calling them? And every single call centre on the planet plays the recorded "We're experiencing an unusally high volume of calls at the moment" message.... no you're f***ing not.... what you're experiencing is a NORMAL volume of calls... the same number of calls you've received on average for the last 79,478 days.... stop lying to people you utter ***** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamesaint Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Because the two children he does have will on average have a much much larger carbon footprint than most other people in the country. The only reason he announced that was to virtue signal and make himself feel good about what a special person he is. That attitude which is pervasive in modern society is what annoys me. I am pleased to know that you are privy to Prince Harry's inner thoughts and know why he does things. Perhaps you could expand this skill to someone more important - like Ralph Hassenhutl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 I am pleased to know that you are privy to Prince Harry's inner thoughts and know why he does things. Perhaps you could expand this skill to someone more important - like Ralph Hassenhutl.How else would you explain the announcement? If he was sincere in his desire to help the planet then he would renounce his titles and live a much meagre lifestyle. He won't of course which is why it's quite acceptable to question his motives for the announcement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Suggestions that people are incapable of communicating with others while driving. I'm horrified to discover that there are sections of the population that require 100% of their brain capacity to operate a car. Most people have plenty spare and can talk, think, listen to music etc. Get the thickos off the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manuel Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 I used to save the crossword for the drive home. Frowned upon now. I don't know if you've spent any time in Turkey. People there know how to operate vehicles. I once saw a lad riding his motor scooter through the pedestrian area of a shopping mall, one handed, the other hand holding a beer bottle and all without the need of a helmet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shroppie Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Apparently, McDonalds' paper straws cannot be recycled !But the old plastic ones could! Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 13 August, 2019 Author Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Lorries overtaking other lorries on the motorway, creating a massive queue of traffic in their wake as one speed limited tosser fights to get in front of another speed limited tosser who could slow down a couple of mph to help everyone out but would rather be a ****. Having just driven up and down France this was a particular problem with their two lane roads. Although tbf their roads embarrass ours with how quickly you can get around. Lorry drivers are generally cnts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 13 August, 2019 Author Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Suggestions that people are incapable of communicating with others while driving. I'm horrified to discover that there are sections of the population that require 100% of their brain capacity to operate a car. Most people have plenty spare and can talk, think, listen to music etc. Get the thickos off the road. They could start by prosecuting those who operate their phones. Every day on M3 I see double figure numbers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 13 August, 2019 Author Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Reckon that Scandinavian eco campaigning kid going to USA on a boat with no fridge might really wind up Batman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Reckon that Scandinavian eco campaigning kid going to USA on a boat with no fridge might really wind up Batman.She has to **** in front of everyone in a bucket so it's not all bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 13 August, 2019 Author Share Posted 13 August, 2019 South Today doing fcking national stories. Lazy fckers. Make your own news up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 Reckon that Scandinavian eco campaigning kid going to USA on a boat with no fridge might really wind up Batman. I feel sorry for her. She is a pawn in a political game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 13 August, 2019 Share Posted 13 August, 2019 South Today and Meridian News have both surrendered. National features cobbled together between thinly-disguised adverts for their own programmes, or dull stories about plucky pets. RIP local news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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