Patrick Bateman Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 On 05/06/2023 at 10:31, rallyboy said: People who never clean their kettles - they're the same fuckers who vigorously pour it immediately after boiling while the lumps of shit are still floating around, thus filling your hot drink with a pile of crap. People who still have a kettle! 🤨 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 13 July, 2023 Author Share Posted 13 July, 2023 1 hour ago, Patrick Bateman said: People who still have a kettle! 🤨 How else do you heat your soup? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 5 minutes ago, whelk said: How else do you heat your soup? Rub two tins together, boy scout fashion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 Just experienced a new motoring nuisance - a driver who slows down as he approaches average speed cameras. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 13 July, 2023 Author Share Posted 13 July, 2023 (edited) I was in an Uber the other day going into Soton on Mountbatten Way and speed camera for 40mph. Our driver goes through at 50+ Mph and I query it and he says he knows it doesn’t take pictures. Don’t have confidence to do the same but is this a FOI request to obtain such info? Edited 13 July, 2023 by whelk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution saint Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 2 hours ago, badgerx16 said: Just experienced a new motoring nuisance - a driver who slows down as he approaches average speed cameras. OK, I’m probably going to annoy you even more but if you get snapped doing more than 50MPH (or whatever the average limit is) but your average is less than 50MPH then do you still get nicked? I don’t tend to drive in many average speed sections so I honestly don’t know, although I probably should. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 8 minutes ago, revolution saint said: OK, I’m probably going to annoy you even more but if you get snapped doing more than 50MPH (or whatever the average limit is) but your average is less than 50MPH then do you still get nicked? I don’t tend to drive in many average speed sections so I honestly don’t know, although I probably should. You don't get "snapped" full stop. There is a camera at the beginning of the zone that notes your reg and the time you went past it. A second camera at the end of the zone does exactly the same thing. The distance between the two cameras is fixed therefore your average speed is calculated. If you are over the average for that section you will theoretically get a ticket (I suspect you need to be quite a bit over the average though, say closer to 60 than 50). Similar principal in France between the toll booths - which is why you tend to see the fast cars waiting at the second one before going through having driven as fast as they can between them 😉 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 19 minutes ago, revolution saint said: OK, I’m probably going to annoy you even more but if you get snapped doing more than 50MPH (or whatever the average limit is) but your average is less than 50MPH then do you still get nicked? I don’t tend to drive in many average speed sections so I honestly don’t know, although I probably should. The limit is 50 mph all along the stretch. In theory you could get done for being over 50 even if your average speed is lower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution saint Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 11 minutes ago, Weston Super Saint said: You don't get "snapped" full stop. There is a camera at the beginning of the zone that notes your reg and the time you went past it. A second camera at the end of the zone does exactly the same thing. The distance between the two cameras is fixed therefore your average speed is calculated. If you are over the average for that section you will theoretically get a ticket (I suspect you need to be quite a bit over the average though, say closer to 60 than 50). Similar principal in France between the toll booths - which is why you tend to see the fast cars waiting at the second one before going through having driven as fast as they can between them 😉 3 minutes ago, Whitey Grandad said: The limit is 50 mph all along the stretch. In theory you could get done for being over 50 even if your average speed is lower. Cheers both. That does make sense, I didn't know the cameras won't also snap you at over the limit as well as calculate the average speed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 Just now, revolution saint said: Cheers both. That does make sense, I didn't know the cameras won't also snap you at over the limit as well as calculate the average speed. Because of the way they work they can also detect uninsured and untaxed cars being used on the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 12 minutes ago, Whitey Grandad said: The limit is 50 mph all along the stretch. In theory you could get done for being over 50 even if your average speed is lower. Indeed. They can still put a mobile camera on a stretch covered by fixed average speed systems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 13 July, 2023 Author Share Posted 13 July, 2023 Is it the mean, mode or median they use? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution saint Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 22 minutes ago, whelk said: Is it the mean, mode or median they use? They probably take an average of all three. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 49 minutes ago, whelk said: Is it the mean, mode or median they use? Thay switch into mean mode if you cross the median. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 13 July, 2023 Share Posted 13 July, 2023 2 hours ago, whelk said: Is it the mean, mode or median they use? Distance divided by time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 20 July, 2023 Share Posted 20 July, 2023 (edited) Being on hold to your employer's IT provider for over half an hour and being forced to listen to the same 30 second clip of soft jazz on continuous repeat for the whole time. Edited 20 July, 2023 by Sheaf Saint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution saint Posted 20 July, 2023 Share Posted 20 July, 2023 3 hours ago, Sheaf Saint said: Being on hold to your employer's IT provider for over half an hour and being forced to listen to the same 30 second clip of soft jazz on continuous repeat for the whole time. Nice 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toadhall Saint Posted 21 July, 2023 Share Posted 21 July, 2023 On 20/07/2023 at 13:20, Sheaf Saint said: Being on hold to your employer's IT provider for over half an hour and being forced to listen to the same 30 second clip of soft jazz on continuous repeat for the whole time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 22 July, 2023 Share Posted 22 July, 2023 Putting child safe locks on your kitchen cupboards and drawers and consistently forgetting to use the little magnetic key Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 22 July, 2023 Share Posted 22 July, 2023 Absolute whoppers at golf comps shouting shit out whenever a player hits a shot. “Beans on toast” I heard today. Why does no one spark these twats out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted 22 July, 2023 Share Posted 22 July, 2023 27 minutes ago, Turkish said: Absolute whoppers at golf comps shouting shit out whenever a player hits a shot. “Beans on toast” I heard today. Why does no one spark these twats out? You'd think with so many people there with bags full of things to club people with...but nope... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 23 July, 2023 Share Posted 23 July, 2023 9 hours ago, Turkish said: Absolute whoppers at golf comps shouting shit out whenever a player hits a shot. “Beans on toast” I heard today. Why does no one spark these twats out? I couldn't watch it yesterday as these idiots were too annoying. The commentators just ignore it now like it is all part of the 'show'. All golf competitions should take the same stance as the Masters, shout anything out and you're removed. During the ten minutes or so of watching yesterday I heard : Up the toffees Beans on toast Give me back my subway Get in the hole - although to be fair that was a chip from off the green and it went in Sausages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan The Flames Posted 23 July, 2023 Share Posted 23 July, 2023 People in traffic jams leaving four car lengths clear in front of them. Saw loads of this on the M25 yesterday. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kraken Posted 23 July, 2023 Share Posted 23 July, 2023 4 hours ago, Weston Super Saint said: I couldn't watch it yesterday as these idiots were too annoying. The commentators just ignore it now like it is all part of the 'show'. All golf competitions should take the same stance as the Masters, shout anything out and you're removed. During the ten minutes or so of watching yesterday I heard : Up the toffees Beans on toast Give me back my subway Get in the hole - although to be fair that was a chip from off the green and it went in Sausages It’s absolutely infuriating. As you say, The Masters and the Open used to be reliable insofar as the fans were knowledgeable, passionate about the game and didn’t shout random rubbish after shots. The year’s Open has bucked that trend and it’s chock full of unfunny wallopers wanting to be heard, and far too many other cohorts laughing out loud at these morons spouting off. It’s now like a Wimbledon crowd. Very annoying. I’m hoping it’s just that it’s just the location and we’ll revert to type once the Open circuit kicks back to Troon next year, but I’m not overly optimistic. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egg Posted 23 July, 2023 Share Posted 23 July, 2023 1 hour ago, Fan The Flames said: People in traffic jams leaving four car lengths clear in front of them. Saw loads of this on the M25 yesterday. Sensible if some idiot misjudges it and smacks the vehicle at the back of the jam up the arse. Closing the gap doesn't clear the jam clear any quicker. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 23 July, 2023 Share Posted 23 July, 2023 2 hours ago, egg said: Sensible if some idiot misjudges it and smacks the vehicle at the back of the jam up the arse. Closing the gap doesn't clear the jam clear any quicker. Yes it does. The problem is when they get near to the end of the jam and those big gaps are still there. It reduces the traffic flow away from the hold up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan The Flames Posted 23 July, 2023 Share Posted 23 July, 2023 3 hours ago, egg said: Sensible if some idiot misjudges it and smacks the vehicle at the back of the jam up the arse. Closing the gap doesn't clear the jam clear any quicker. Yes when you are belting along and you first join the back of a jam, leaving a buffer space is wise. But once you are four/five cars in there is no need. Yesterday the queue was from J9-J16, we were well into the jam, going at 15mph then stopping. There is no need to leave the space, it makes the length of the jam longer, so of course it makes the jam clear more slowly. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 1 August, 2023 Author Share Posted 1 August, 2023 Hearing people say ‘jeopardy’ all the time. Like people have discovered a new word Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SotonianWill Posted 2 August, 2023 Share Posted 2 August, 2023 9 hours ago, whelk said: Hearing people say ‘jeopardy’ all the time. Like people have discovered a new word Linked to this, when someone has clearly just found out what a fancy word means and try to squeeze it into a sentence. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 2 August, 2023 Share Posted 2 August, 2023 14 hours ago, SotonianWill said: Linked to this, when someone has clearly just found out what a fancy word means and try to squeeze it into a sentence. Agreed, it's like they can't write anything without using a thesaurus. It's really annoying, infuriating, tiresome, vexing, exasperating, irksome and irritating. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan The Flames Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 'genuine pace' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 Being an old git who went to school in the 50's/60's, when spelling, and grammar etc. were deemed as very important, the thing that niggles me most is the inability/unwillingness to follow the rules of our own language. This includes the inability spell and to differentiate between uses of words. "Of/have", "there/their/they're" and "are/our" are some prime examples of this. Couple this with non-sensible Americanisms such as "Can I get...?" and American pronounciation of words such as "leverage" being pronounced as "levverage" instead of "leeverage," and my annoyance is increased. I keep being told that spelling, grammar and puntuation don't matter nowadays....it's all just about being understood. Maybe that is the way it is naturally going, but it is very sad if that is the case. End of miserable old git rant! 🙂 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 2 hours ago, miserableoldgit said: Being an old git who went to school in the 50's/60's, when spelling, and grammar etc. were deemed as very important, the thing that niggles me most is the inability/unwillingness to follow the rules of our own language. This includes the inability spell and to differentiate between uses of words. "Of/have", "there/their/they're" and "are/our" are some prime examples of this. Couple this with non-sensible Americanisms such as "Can I get...?" and American pronounciation of words such as "leverage" being pronounced as "levverage" instead of "leeverage," and my annoyance is increased. I keep being told that spelling, grammar and puntuation don't matter nowadays....it's all just about being understood. Maybe that is the way it is naturally going, but it is very sad if that is the case. End of miserable old git rant! 🙂 Is that one of Harry Potter’s? I’m with you all the way. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 (edited) 34 minutes ago, Whitey Grandad said: Is that one of Harry Potter’s? I’m with you all the way. 34 minutes ago, Whitey Grandad said: Is that one of Harry Potter’s? I’m with you all the way. Bugger!! I read it and re-read it to make sure there were no mistakes, because I knew some clever clogs would find something! 😂 Hoist by my own petard!!😂 Edited 5 August, 2023 by miserableoldgit 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 12 minutes ago, miserableoldgit said: Bugger!! I read it and re-read it to make sure there were no mistakes, because I knew some clever clogs would find something! 😂 Hoist by my own petard!!😂 Don't worry, it was understood, and speed reading it fills in the gap without noticing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 1 hour ago, miserableoldgit said: Bugger!! I read it and re-read it to make sure there were no mistakes, because I knew some clever clogs would find something! 😂 Hoist by my own petard!!😂 Remember, a pedant never sleeps. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whelk Posted 5 August, 2023 Author Share Posted 5 August, 2023 People who when turning right block the turn left because they don’t position car correctly and block it. Fucking Highway Code basics 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadoldgit Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 3 hours ago, miserableoldgit said: Bugger!! I read it and re-read it to make sure there were no mistakes, because I knew some clever clogs would find something! 😂 Hoist by my own petard!!😂 Shouldn’t that be “hoisted”? 🤔 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 24 minutes ago, sadoldgit said: Shouldn’t that be “hoisted”? 🤔 No it should not necessarily. What it should be is “Hoist with my own petard” if you are going to stay true to Shakespeare but since Mr. Miserableoldgit is using his own words he is free to write whatever he wants. Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 Death bowlers chucking down wides. One job mate, one job. 😡 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 5 August, 2023 Share Posted 5 August, 2023 2 hours ago, sadoldgit said: Shouldn’t that be “hoisted”? 🤔 "Hoist with his own petard" is a phrase from a speech in William Shakespeare's play Hamlet that has become proverbial. The phrase's meaning is that a bomb-maker is blown off the ground by his own bomb, and indicates an ironic reversal or poetic justice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamilton Saint Posted 6 August, 2023 Share Posted 6 August, 2023 (edited) 14 hours ago, miserableoldgit said: Being an old git who went to school in the 50's/60's [50s and 60s], when spelling, and grammar [,] etc. were deemed as very important [were important], the thing that niggles me most is the inability/unwillingness [inability or unwillingness] to follow the rules of our own language. This includes the inability [to] spell and to differentiate between [the] uses of words. "Of/have", "there/their/they're" and "are/our" are some prime examples of this. Couple this with non-sensible [nonsensical] Americanisms such as "Can I get...?" [Can I get ...?] and American pronounciation [pronunciation] of words such as "leverage" being pronounced as "levverage" instead of "leeverage," and my annoyance is increased. I keep being told that spelling, grammar[,] and puntuation [punctuation] don't matter nowadays.... [;] it's all just about being understood. Maybe that is the way it is naturally going, but it is very sad if that is the case. End of miserable old git rant! 🙂 You asked for it! 😏 Edited 6 August, 2023 by Hamilton Saint 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 6 August, 2023 Share Posted 6 August, 2023 Not annoy but make you think what a cock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Gotsmanov Posted 6 August, 2023 Share Posted 6 August, 2023 2 hours ago, Turkish said: Not annoy but make you think what a cock God I would get a bollocking if I woke my wife at 4.30am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 7 August, 2023 Share Posted 7 August, 2023 8 hours ago, Turkish said: Not annoy but make you think what a cock Lazy prick lying around in bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 7 August, 2023 Share Posted 7 August, 2023 10 hours ago, Turkish said: Not annoy but make you think what a cock "A quick kiss to my wife's sleep head" - sick fuck. I'm guessing he buried the body. "I procede downstairs to the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling my senses" - well, one sense anyway. All this proves is despite his magnificient proclamation about getting up so early in the morning, at least one other person in his house is up before him every day to make the coffee. I'm guessing this was posted on LinkedIn..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamesaint Posted 7 August, 2023 Share Posted 7 August, 2023 10 hours ago, Turkish said: Not annoy but make you think what a cock 🤮🤮🤮 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyboy Posted 7 August, 2023 Share Posted 7 August, 2023 The glow of twenty-four screens erupting into life? He's an assistant manager at Rumbelows or he's doing security at Lidl. Either way his wife ain't asleep, she's just pretending. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
31cc Posted 8 August, 2023 Share Posted 8 August, 2023 The glow of twenty-four screens erupting into life? He is Mike Dean going to work at Stockley Park and I claim my £5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmes_and_Watson Posted 8 August, 2023 Share Posted 8 August, 2023 On 07/08/2023 at 06:50, Weston Super Saint said: "A quick kiss to my wife's sleep head" - sick fuck. I'm guessing he buried the body. "I procede downstairs to the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling my senses" - well, one sense anyway. All this proves is despite his magnificient proclamation about getting up so early in the morning, at least one other person in his house is up before him every day to make the coffee. I'm guessing this was posted on LinkedIn..... Glad I wasn't the only one wondering who was making the coffee. No doubt programmed a week in advance off an app, giving him more time to be a colossal bellend. Meetings...calls...activities... so, no actual work then, giving him time to watch those 24 adult streams. 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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