The small things in life that annoy you

[Patrick Bateman]

On 05/06/2023 at 10:31, rallyboy said:

People who never clean their kettles - they're the same fuckers who vigorously pour it immediately after boiling while the lumps of shit are still floating around, thus filling your hot drink with a pile of crap.

People who still have a kettle! 🤨

[whelk]

1 hour ago, Patrick Bateman said:

People who still have a kettle! 🤨

How else do you heat your soup?

[badgerx16]

5 minutes ago, whelk said:

How else do you heat your soup?

Rub two tins together, boy scout fashion.

[badgerx16]

Just experienced a new motoring nuisance - a driver who slows down as he approaches average speed cameras.

[whelk]

I was in an Uber the other day going into Soton on Mountbatten Way and speed camera for 40mph. Our driver goes through at 50+ Mph and I query it and he says he knows it doesn’t take pictures.  Don’t have confidence to do the same but is this a FOI request to obtain such info?

Edited 13 July, 2023 by whelk

[revolution saint]

2 hours ago, badgerx16 said:

Just experienced a new motoring nuisance - a driver who slows down as he approaches average speed cameras.

OK, I’m probably going to annoy you even more but if you get snapped doing more than 50MPH (or whatever the average limit is) but your average is less than 50MPH then do you still get nicked? I don’t tend to drive in many average speed sections so I honestly don’t know, although I probably should.

[Weston Super Saint]

8 minutes ago, revolution saint said:

OK, I’m probably going to annoy you even more but if you get snapped doing more than 50MPH (or whatever the average limit is) but your average is less than 50MPH then do you still get nicked? I don’t tend to drive in many average speed sections so I honestly don’t know, although I probably should.

You don't get "snapped" full stop.

There is a camera at the beginning of the zone that notes your reg and the time you went past it. A second camera at the end of the zone does exactly the same thing.  The distance between the two cameras is fixed therefore your average speed is calculated. If you are over the average for that section you will theoretically get a ticket (I suspect you need to be quite a bit over the average though, say closer to 60 than 50).

Similar principal in France between the toll booths - which is why you tend to see the fast cars waiting at the second one before going through having driven as fast as they can between them 😉

[Whitey Grandad]

19 minutes ago, revolution saint said:

OK, I’m probably going to annoy you even more but if you get snapped doing more than 50MPH (or whatever the average limit is) but your average is less than 50MPH then do you still get nicked? I don’t tend to drive in many average speed sections so I honestly don’t know, although I probably should.

The limit is 50 mph all along the stretch.  In theory you could get done for being over 50 even if your average speed is lower.

[revolution saint]

11 minutes ago, Weston Super Saint said:

You don't get "snapped" full stop.

There is a camera at the beginning of the zone that notes your reg and the time you went past it. A second camera at the end of the zone does exactly the same thing.  The distance between the two cameras is fixed therefore your average speed is calculated. If you are over the average for that section you will theoretically get a ticket (I suspect you need to be quite a bit over the average though, say closer to 60 than 50).

Similar principal in France between the toll booths - which is why you tend to see the fast cars waiting at the second one before going through having driven as fast as they can between them 😉

 

3 minutes ago, Whitey Grandad said:

The limit is 50 mph all along the stretch.  In theory you could get done for being over 50 even if your average speed is lower.

Cheers both.  That does make sense, I didn't know the cameras won't also snap you at over the limit as well as calculate the average speed.  

[badgerx16]

Just now, revolution saint said:

 

Cheers both.  That does make sense, I didn't know the cameras won't also snap you at over the limit as well as calculate the average speed.  

Because of the way they work they can also detect uninsured and untaxed cars being used on the road.

[badgerx16]

12 minutes ago, Whitey Grandad said:

The limit is 50 mph all along the stretch.  In theory you could get done for being over 50 even if your average speed is lower.

Indeed. They can still put a mobile camera on a stretch covered by fixed average speed systems.

[whelk]

Is it the mean, mode or median they use?

[revolution saint]

22 minutes ago, whelk said:

Is it the mean, mode or median they use?

They probably take an average of all three.

[badgerx16]

49 minutes ago, whelk said:

Is it the mean, mode or median they use?

Thay switch into mean mode if you cross the median.

[Whitey Grandad]

2 hours ago, whelk said:

Is it the mean, mode or median they use?

Distance divided by time.

[Sheaf Saint]

Being on hold to your employer's IT provider for over half an hour and being forced to listen to the same 30 second clip of soft jazz on continuous repeat for the whole time.

Edited 20 July, 2023 by Sheaf Saint

[revolution saint]

3 hours ago, Sheaf Saint said:

Being on hold to your employer's IT provider for over half an hour and being forced to listen to the same 30 second clip of soft jazz on continuous repeat for the whole time.

Nice

[Toadhall Saint]

On 20/07/2023 at 13:20, Sheaf Saint said:

Being on hold to your employer's IT provider for over half an hour and being forced to listen to the same 30 second clip of soft jazz on continuous repeat for the whole time.

[Smirking_Saint]

Putting child safe locks on your kitchen cupboards and drawers and consistently forgetting to use the little magnetic key

[Turkish]

Absolute whoppers at golf comps shouting shit out whenever a player hits a shot. “Beans on toast” I heard today. Why does no one spark these twats out?

[Holmes_and_Watson]

27 minutes ago, Turkish said:

Absolute whoppers at golf comps shouting shit out whenever a player hits a shot. “Beans on toast” I heard today. Why does no one spark these twats out?

You'd think with so many people there with bags full of things to club people with...but nope...

[Weston Super Saint]

9 hours ago, Turkish said:

Absolute whoppers at golf comps shouting shit out whenever a player hits a shot. “Beans on toast” I heard today. Why does no one spark these twats out?

I couldn't watch it yesterday as these idiots were too annoying.  The commentators just ignore it now like it is all part of the 'show'.  All golf competitions should take the same stance as the Masters, shout anything out and you're removed.

During the ten minutes or so of watching yesterday I heard :

Up the toffees

Beans on toast

Give me back my subway

Get in the hole - although to be fair that was a chip from off the green and it went in

Sausages

[Fan The Flames]

People in traffic jams leaving four car lengths clear in front of them. Saw loads of this on the M25 yesterday.

[The Kraken]

4 hours ago, Weston Super Saint said:

I couldn't watch it yesterday as these idiots were too annoying.  The commentators just ignore it now like it is all part of the 'show'.  All golf competitions should take the same stance as the Masters, shout anything out and you're removed.

During the ten minutes or so of watching yesterday I heard :

Up the toffees

Beans on toast

Give me back my subway

Get in the hole - although to be fair that was a chip from off the green and it went in

Sausages

It’s absolutely infuriating. As you say, The Masters and the Open used to be reliable insofar as the fans were knowledgeable, passionate about the game and didn’t shout random rubbish after shots. The year’s Open has bucked that trend and it’s chock full of unfunny wallopers wanting to be heard, and far too many other cohorts laughing out loud at these morons spouting off. It’s now like a Wimbledon crowd. Very annoying. I’m hoping it’s just that it’s just the location and we’ll revert to type once the Open circuit kicks back to Troon next year, but I’m not overly optimistic.

[egg]

1 hour ago, Fan The Flames said:

People in traffic jams leaving four car lengths clear in front of them. Saw loads of this on the M25 yesterday.

Sensible if some idiot misjudges it and smacks the vehicle at the back of the jam up the arse. Closing the gap doesn't clear the jam clear any quicker. 

[Whitey Grandad]

2 hours ago, egg said:

Sensible if some idiot misjudges it and smacks the vehicle at the back of the jam up the arse. Closing the gap doesn't clear the jam clear any quicker. 

Yes it does. The problem is when they get near to the end of the jam and those big gaps are still there. It reduces the traffic flow away from the hold up.

[Fan The Flames]

3 hours ago, egg said:

Sensible if some idiot misjudges it and smacks the vehicle at the back of the jam up the arse. Closing the gap doesn't clear the jam clear any quicker. 

Yes when you are belting along and you first join the back of a jam, leaving a buffer space is wise. But once you are four/five cars in there is no need.

Yesterday the queue was from J9-J16, we were well into the jam, going at 15mph then stopping. There is no need to leave the space, it makes the length of the jam longer, so of course it makes the jam clear more slowly.

[whelk]

Hearing people say ‘jeopardy’ all the time. Like people have discovered a new word

[SotonianWill]

9 hours ago, whelk said:

Hearing people say ‘jeopardy’ all the time. Like people have discovered a new word

Linked to this, when someone has clearly just found out what a fancy word means and try to squeeze it into a sentence. 

[rallyboy]

14 hours ago, SotonianWill said:

Linked to this, when someone has clearly just found out what a fancy word means and try to squeeze it into a sentence. 

Agreed, it's like they can't write anything without using a thesaurus.

It's really annoying, infuriating, tiresome, vexing, exasperating, irksome and irritating.

[Fan The Flames]

'genuine pace'

[miserableoldgit]

Being an old git who went to school in the 50's/60's, when spelling, and grammar etc. were deemed as very important, the thing that niggles me most is the inability/unwillingness to follow the rules of our own language. This includes the inability spell and to differentiate between uses of words. "Of/have", "there/their/they're" and "are/our" are some prime examples of this. Couple this with non-sensible Americanisms such as "Can I get...?" and American pronounciation of words such as "leverage" being pronounced as "levverage" instead of "leeverage," and my annoyance is increased. I keep being told that spelling, grammar and puntuation don't matter nowadays....it's all just about being understood. Maybe that is the way it is naturally going, but it is very sad if that is the case. End of miserable old git rant! 🙂

[Whitey Grandad]

2 hours ago, miserableoldgit said:

Being an old git who went to school in the 50's/60's, when spelling, and grammar etc. were deemed as very important, the thing that niggles me most is the inability/unwillingness to follow the rules of our own language. This includes the inability spell and to differentiate between uses of words. "Of/have", "there/their/they're" and "are/our" are some prime examples of this. Couple this with non-sensible Americanisms such as "Can I get...?" and American pronounciation of words such as "leverage" being pronounced as "levverage" instead of "leeverage," and my annoyance is increased. I keep being told that spelling, grammar and puntuation don't matter nowadays....it's all just about being understood. Maybe that is the way it is naturally going, but it is very sad if that is the case. End of miserable old git rant! 🙂

Is that one of Harry Potter’s?

I’m with you all the way.

[miserableoldgit]

34 minutes ago, Whitey Grandad said:

Is that one of Harry Potter’s?

I’m with you all the way.

 

34 minutes ago, Whitey Grandad said:

Is that one of Harry Potter’s?

I’m with you all the way.

Bugger!! I read it and re-read it to make sure there were no mistakes, because I knew some clever clogs would find something! 😂 Hoist by my own petard!!😂

Edited 5 August, 2023 by miserableoldgit

[badgerx16]

12 minutes ago, miserableoldgit said:

 

Bugger!! I read it and re-read it to make sure there were no mistakes, because I knew some clever clogs would find something! 😂 Hoist by my own petard!!😂

Don't worry, it was understood, and speed reading it fills in the gap without noticing.

[Whitey Grandad]

1 hour ago, miserableoldgit said:

 

Bugger!! I read it and re-read it to make sure there were no mistakes, because I knew some clever clogs would find something! 😂 Hoist by my own petard!!😂

Remember, a pedant never sleeps.

[whelk]

People who when turning right block the turn left because they don’t position car correctly and block it. Fucking Highway Code basics

[sadoldgit]

3 hours ago, miserableoldgit said:

 

Bugger!! I read it and re-read it to make sure there were no mistakes, because I knew some clever clogs would find something! 😂 Hoist by my own petard!!😂

Shouldn’t that be “hoisted”? 🤔

[Whitey Grandad]

24 minutes ago, sadoldgit said:

Shouldn’t that be “hoisted”? 🤔

No it should not necessarily. What it should be is “Hoist with my own petard” if you are going to stay true to Shakespeare but since Mr. Miserableoldgit is using his own words he is free to write whatever he wants.

Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 4

 

 

[rallyboy]

Death bowlers chucking down wides.

One job mate, one job. 😡

[miserableoldgit]

2 hours ago, sadoldgit said:

Shouldn’t that be “hoisted”? 🤔

"Hoist with his own petard" is a phrase from a speech in William Shakespeare's play Hamlet that has become proverbial. The phrase's meaning is that a bomb-maker is blown off the ground by his own bomb, and indicates an ironic reversal or poetic justice.

[Hamilton Saint]

14 hours ago, miserableoldgit said:

Being an old git who went to school in the 50's/60's [50s and 60s], when spelling, and grammar [,] etc. were deemed as very important [were important], the thing that niggles me most is the inability/unwillingness [inability or unwillingness] to follow the rules of our own language. This includes the inability [to] spell and to differentiate between [the] uses of words. "Of/have", "there/their/they're" and "are/our" are some prime examples of this. Couple this with non-sensible [nonsensical] Americanisms such as "Can I get...?" [Can I get ...?] and American pronounciation [pronunciation] of words such as "leverage" being pronounced as "levverage" instead of "leeverage," and my annoyance is increased. I keep being told that spelling, grammar[,] and puntuation [punctuation] don't matter nowadays.... [;] it's all just about being understood. Maybe that is the way it is naturally going, but it is very sad if that is the case. End of miserable old git rant! 🙂

You asked for it! 😏

Edited 6 August, 2023 by Hamilton Saint

[Turkish]

Not annoy but make you think what a cock 

[Sergei Gotsmanov]

2 hours ago, Turkish said:

Not annoy but make you think what a cock 

God I would get a bollocking if I woke my wife at 4.30am

[Lighthouse]

8 hours ago, Turkish said:

Not annoy but make you think what a cock 

Lazy prick lying around in bed.

[Weston Super Saint]

10 hours ago, Turkish said:

Not annoy but make you think what a cock 

"A quick kiss to my wife's sleep head" - sick fuck.  I'm guessing he buried the body.

"I procede downstairs to the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling my senses" - well, one sense anyway.  All this proves is despite his magnificient proclamation about getting up so early in the morning, at least one other person in his house is up before him every day to make the coffee.

I'm guessing this was posted on LinkedIn.....

[Tamesaint]

10 hours ago, Turkish said:

Not annoy but make you think what a cock 

🤮🤮🤮

[rallyboy]

The glow of twenty-four screens erupting into life?

He's an assistant manager at Rumbelows or he's doing security at Lidl.

Either way his wife ain't asleep, she's just pretending.

[31cc]

The glow of twenty-four screens erupting into life?

He is Mike Dean going to work at Stockley Park and I claim my £5.

[Holmes_and_Watson]

On 07/08/2023 at 06:50, Weston Super Saint said:

"A quick kiss to my wife's sleep head" - sick fuck.  I'm guessing he buried the body.

"I procede downstairs to the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling my senses" - well, one sense anyway.  All this proves is despite his magnificient proclamation about getting up so early in the morning, at least one other person in his house is up before him every day to make the coffee.

I'm guessing this was posted on LinkedIn.....

Glad I wasn't the only one wondering who was making the coffee. No doubt programmed a week in advance off an app, giving him more time to be a colossal bellend.

Meetings...calls...activities... so, no actual work then, giving him time to watch those 24 adult streams. 🙂