The small things in life that annoy you

[bpsaint]

On 04/05/2023 at 12:52, Turkish said:

People that make Star Wars references today

 

 

Add to this, people that make Star Trek jokes on May 4th as they’re so wacky pretending to mix up the two.

[Weston Super Saint]

49 minutes ago, bpsaint said:

Add to this, people that make Star Trek jokes on May 4th as they’re so wacky pretending to mix up the two.

Is that an actual thing?

[badgerx16]

Just now, Weston Super Saint said:

Is that an actual thing?

Have you watched "Star Trek 5 - The Final Frontier" or "9 - Insurrection" ?

[rallyboy]

People who assume that everyone drinks, so their default setting for any present is to give a fucking bottle.

Tee total or recovering alcoholic, you're getting alcohol for your birthday! 

 

[whelk]

Overplayed footballers trying to whip the crowd up by waving their arms.

[badgerx16]

Feckin eejits who don't wear safety helmets when riding bicycles or e-scooters, especially parents who make their kids wear them but don't bother themselves. One particular breed are middle aged or older bald men, who almost always do not have skid lids - do they think their suntanned scalps will turn to leather and protect them in the event of a mishap ?

[Winnersaint]

Another bike related one, people who think that cyclists need to wear hi-vis gear. Studies show that it has no discernible impact on cyclist safety and driver behaviour. I went past two on Saturday, one with hi-vis, one in black. I couldn't see hi-vis matey in my rear view as the hi-vis blended perfectly in with the background trees and bushes along the road. Guy in black was more visible for longer.

[Turkish]

People that rather than say "it starts in half an hour" say "t minus 30 minutes"

massive bellends

[badgerx16]

1 hour ago, Turkish said:

People that rather than say "it starts in half an hour" say "t minus 30 minutes"

massive bellends

Does that include NASA ?

[Winnersaint]

4 hours ago, Turkish said:

People that rather than say "it starts in half an hour" say "t minus 30 minutes"

massive bellends

Didn't you ever watch the moon shots?

[Turkish]

14 hours ago, badgerx16 said:

Does that include NASA ?

 

11 hours ago, Winnersaint said:

Didn't you ever watch the moon shots?

I’m talking about bellends that post on social media, for example a cock I used to work with posted a picture of himself at an event and said “great to be here it all kicks off in t minus 30 minutes” 

twat 

[Winnersaint]

1 hour ago, Turkish said:

 

I’m talking about bellends that post on social media, for example a cock I used to work with posted a picture of himself at an event and said “great to be here it all kicks off in t minus 30 minutes” 

twat 

Tend to agree with you, perhaps they all think they're Cliff Michelmore or James Burke wannabees!

[buctootim]

Rolf Harris. Oh no wait.... 

[whelk]

Selfish twats who feel when the nice weather comes  they need to blare music out in their garden because of course all the neighbours want to hear. 
Ditto pricks at traffics lights with stereos at full blast

[LGTL]

The Redbridge Flyover.

Would have been quicker to blow the fucking thing up and re-build it. 

[whelk]

36 minutes ago, LGTL said:

The Redbridge Flyover.

Would have been quicker to blow the fucking thing up and re-build it. 

They should think about doing that to Millbrook estate

[Lighthouse]

I’ve spent the day at Thruxton and Christ, the number of people who just sit there in direct sun all day and roast without a drop of sun cream is incredible.

[The Cat]

People who have B055 or CE0 as part of their numberplate.

Personalised ones already indicate you are a massive fuckwit but a special place in hell is reserved for these cunts.

[Turkish]

14 minutes ago, The Cat said:

People who have B055 or CE0 as part of their numberplate.

Personalised ones already indicate you are a massive fuckwit but a special place in hell is reserved for these cunts.

Yes so true. Nothing quite says cock like having a personalised number plate. Also especially true when they are a really crap attempt to spell out their name. I know someone who has one and even knowing them quite well it took weeks before we realised it was meant to spell their surname it just looked like a random collection of letters and numbers. 

[Lighthouse]

My car has got my name written in binary on the plate. As you can imagine, it’s an absolute, military strength pussy magnet.

[whelk]

I paid £5000 for W 3 LLK. 

[Lighthouse]

https://dvlaregistrations.dvla.gov.uk/search/prefix-number-plates.html?numbers=4&letter1=E&letter2=L&letter3=K&action=results&pricefrom=0&priceto=&prefixmatches=&searched=true&openoption=yes&language=en&super=w43lk&super_pricefrom=0&super_priceto=&origp=W&orign=4&origl=ELK&research=1&prefix=&fpsearch=1

 

I tried W4 ELK but the closest available is F4 ELK for £600. Would you like me to change your username, Fhelk?

[rallyboy]

People who never clean their kettles - they're the same fuckers who vigorously pour it immediately after boiling while the lumps of shit are still floating around, thus filling your hot drink with a pile of crap.

[buctootim]

1 hour ago, rallyboy said:

People who never clean their kettles - they're the same fuckers who vigorously pour it immediately after boiling while the lumps of shit are still floating around, thus filling your hot drink with a pile of crap.

That was one of the best things about moving away from Southampton. No more shitty chalk soup water! 

[Whitey Grandad]

18 hours ago, Lighthouse said:

https://dvlaregistrations.dvla.gov.uk/search/prefix-number-plates.html?numbers=4&letter1=E&letter2=L&letter3=K&action=results&pricefrom=0&priceto=&prefixmatches=&searched=true&openoption=yes&language=en&super=w43lk&super_pricefrom=0&super_priceto=&origp=W&orign=4&origl=ELK&research=1&prefix=&fpsearch=1

 

I tried W4 ELK but the closest available is F4 ELK for £600. Would you like me to change your username, Fhelk?

I knew someone who chose his company name because it matched his car registration.

[whelk]

20 hours ago, Lighthouse said:

https://dvlaregistrations.dvla.gov.uk/search/prefix-number-plates.html?numbers=4&letter1=E&letter2=L&letter3=K&action=results&pricefrom=0&priceto=&prefixmatches=&searched=true&openoption=yes&language=en&super=w43lk&super_pricefrom=0&super_priceto=&origp=W&orign=4&origl=ELK&research=1&prefix=&fpsearch=1

 

I tried W4 ELK but the closest available is F4 ELK for £600. Would you like me to change your username, Fhelk?

Fhelk sounds like a right cunt

[Lee On Solent Saint]

Bottle lids on coke bottles being attached to the bottle now. What sort of dopey fucker puts the cap in the normal bin after finishing a bottle? Surely normal people put the lid back on the bottle when a bottle is finished? 

[badgerx16]

The chap coming in his wagon to collect the skip off next door's drive at 6 in the morning.

[AlexLaw76]

When a presenter apologises during a live broadcast if swearing is heard from the interviewee/the background. 

[Fan The Flames]

People using klicks instead of kilometres.

[Whitey Grandad]

45 minutes ago, Fan The Flames said:

People using klicks instead of kilometres.

Military, innit

[whelk]

1 hour ago, Fan The Flames said:

People using klicks instead of kilometres.

People who say they have a bad six when they mean bad back

[Fan The Flames]

4 hours ago, Whitey Grandad said:

Military, innit

Yeah, so is dancing on a table with a lit rolled up newspaper up your arse and a Smartie tube on your cock, doesn't mean you do it on civvy street.

[Turkish]

When you’re on public transport and people play their phones loudly so half the carriage can hear. use headphones you prick. 

[whelk]

2 hours ago, Turkish said:

When you’re on public transport and people play their phones loudly so half the carriage can hear. use headphones you prick. 

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing

[badgerx16]

5 hours ago, Turkish said:

When you’re on public transport and people play their phones loudly so half the carriage can hear. use headphones you prick. 

 

2 hours ago, whelk said:

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing

 

[bpsaint]

On 05/06/2023 at 21:46, Lee On Solent Saint said:

Bottle lids on coke bottles being attached to the bottle now. What sort of dopey fucker puts the cap in the normal bin after finishing a bottle? Surely normal people put the lid back on the bottle when a bottle is finished? 

They’re gonna have a nightmare at St Mary’s serving bottles of drink and then having to yank the caps off each time, hopefully they just don’t bother.

 

[badgerx16]

Getting stuck for 5 miles on country roads behind a black Honda CRV being driven at 22 in 30mph zones, and 34 in 50mph zones. Finally getting past him and going to do some shopping, only to find the self same nuisance going back 2 hours later and being stuck behind him again.

[Weston Super Saint]

1 hour ago, badgerx16 said:

Getting stuck for 5 miles on country roads behind a black Honda CRV being driven at 22 in 30mph zones, and 34 in 50mph zones. Finally getting past him and going to do some shopping, only to find the self same nuisance going back 2 hours later and being stuck behind him again.

All I got from this is two hours to do the shopping!  WTF?

[badgerx16]

8 minutes ago, Weston Super Saint said:

All I got from this is two hours to do the shopping!  WTF?

Takes at least 20 minutes to/from the shops to where we got past / met the CRV, and it includes lunch, hence "2 hours later".

Edited 27 June, 2023 by badgerx16

[Weston Super Saint]

3 minutes ago, badgerx16 said:

Takes 20 minutes to/from the shops to where we got past / met the CRV, and it includes lunch, hence "2 hours later".

Shopping = 15 mins 🤷‍♀️

[badgerx16]

Just now, Weston Super Saint said:

Shopping = 15 mins 🤷‍♀️

Not when it includes DIY tools and supplies 😉

[Fan The Flames]

54 minutes ago, Weston Super Saint said:

Shopping = 15 mins 🤷‍♀️

That's because your wife buys your clothes 😁

[Weston Super Saint]

2 hours ago, Fan The Flames said:

That's because your wife buys your clothes 😁

Yep. And pretty much all the shopping.

Good innit 😁

[trousers]

Event organisers trotting out "due to unforeseen circumstances" when an event is cancelled.

We all know that's usually code for: "we screwed up and the circumstances were completely foreseeable had we been competent enough to spot them in advance"

Twats.

[Lighthouse]

People referring to Wimbledon by its postcode. I don’t know any other sporting event or venue where people do this and it takes twice as long as simply saying Wimbledon.

[trousers]

1 hour ago, Lighthouse said:

People referring to Wimbledon by its postcode. I don’t know any other sporting event or venue where people do this and it takes twice as long as simply saying Wimbledon.

 

 

Edited 4 July, 2023 by trousers

[whelk]

Films having ‘alcohol use, smoking etc’ warnings. What sort of cunt can’t watch a film with someone having a drink?

[badgerx16]

8 minutes ago, whelk said:

Films having ‘alcohol use, smoking etc’ warnings. What sort of cunt can’t watch a film with someone having a drink?

Films on TV having words or complete lines of dialogue cut because they start to show them before 21:00.

[The Cat]

Those sticker things that people make of themselves to use on WhatsApp. There's already enough emojis, we don't need a vague likeness of your face to express the fact you think a comment is funny thank you.