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A P*mpey fan


Master Bates
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someone sent me a 'joke' on a text today, and (dunno if i'm bein a bit dim) but i couldn't make ass nor head of it.....

 

 

"how do chinese people name their children?..............throw cutlery down the stairs....:neutral:......:?......:-k......:smt017.......:smt102

 

thats an old cheech and chong gag, as is the cutlery will make a 'ching, chang, chong' noise. Which is of course a bit rich coming from them.

 

oh those crazy racists, what will they say next?

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How about this one...

 

Bloke on holiday goes into an Amsterdam brothel and asks for the fattest ugliest girl they have with the saggiest t*ts and a f*nny like a ripped out fireplace. The madam said, ''Feeling kinky tonight sir''

 

He replied, "No I'm from Portsmouth and I'm homesick"

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A cannibal was inconsolable after leaving the toilet...........he'd just dumped his girlfriend

 

A young lad came up to me and asked me what was my favourite Telly Tubby, I replied the new Sony LCD you cheeky little fu****

 

A blonde gets a job as a teacher, she notices a boy on the field stood by himself while the other boys are running around having fun, she takes pity on him and decides to speak with him, "are you OK ?"...""yes" he replied "you can go and play with the other boys you know" she said "best I stay here" he said "why ?" she asked............"cause i'm the fu(kin goalie !!!!!"

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A p*mpey fan goes for a check-up and after just a couple of minutes the doctor starts getting quite upset and says, 'look, there's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to come out with it. You've got to stop self-harming and masturbating!' The p*mpey fan looks shocked and demands 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' And the doctor replies…'I'm trying to examine you!'

 

Seriously though folks, even the best p*mpey joke in the world wouldn't nearly be so funny as the gang of retards that went out trying to lynch paedophiles and attacked a paedotrician. Does anything sum up P*rtsmuff better?

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I can tell you the funniest thing i have heard all day was a Scummer friend of mine forcasting ADMINISTRATION for you guys. Made me laugh out loud.

 

:smt022

 

we were just enjoying some light hearted banter but you had to take it TOO FAR!

 

you'll miss us when we're gone, you'll be a yang minus a ying.

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The boss had to fire somebody, and narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.

It was an impossible decision because they both were super workers.

Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the coffee the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the coffee machine to take an aspirin.

The boss approached her and said "Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you Jack off?" she says. "I feel like ****."

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Two little lads, one wearing a Pompey shirt and the other wearing a Saints shirt went to London to see the queen. As the queen came by, she stopped at the lad wearing the Pompey shirt and had a few words. Feeling upset the Saints fans dad said " Don't worry son we'll just go out and get a Pompey shirt and come back. So off they went and came back with the lad in a Pompey shirt. The queen was making her way down the lines of people stopped at the little lad, and wispered to him. " I thought I told you to f*ck off.

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