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Posted

We all get crap from relatives.

 

This year I got a huge Homer Simpson bottle opener which would never fit in any kitchen drawer. I used it for the first time earlier tonight and it fell apart. Rubbish plastic etc with a big Homer face to sell it. What a crock of sh!t that was.

 

I'll tell my aunt to get me more French porn vids next year.

Posted

Never had a bad present, but had a few mediocre ones. I received my last Xmas present, for this Xmas just gone, only last night. A very nice 1 litre bottle of Bushmills Whisky. I'm going to take my time over that one.

Posted

I received, from one of the Wife's Auntie, red touch up paint for a 2007 Honda Civic. As pleased as I was to receive this gift, it's usefullness is limited as I don't own a Honda Civic nor is my car red!

Posted
I received, from one of the Wife's Auntie, red touch up paint for a 2007 Honda Civic. As pleased as I was to receive this gift, it's usefullness is limited as I don't own a Honda Civic nor is my car red!

 

 

I get the feeling it's time to have her put in a home

Posted
We all get crap from relatives.

 

This year I got a huge Homer Simpson bottle opener which would never fit in any kitchen drawer. I used it for the first time earlier tonight and it fell apart. Rubbish plastic etc with a big Homer face to sell it. What a crock of sh!t that was.

 

I'll tell my aunt to get me more French porn vids next year.

 

That is quite funny. My brother got said same bottle opener...and it also fell apart on first use!

Posted

My mum bought me a nice Purple Fleece from Edinburgh Woolen Mill.

 

Exactly what I need here in the desert

 

I might wear it as protection from the mad Tortoises when I start getting them to mate

Posted
My mum bought me a nice Purple Fleece from Edinburgh Woolen Mill.

 

Exactly what I need here in the desert

 

I might wear it as protection from the mad Tortoises when I start getting them to mate

 

Maybe it's for when you go to that skiing place out there.

Posted

 

I might wear it as protection from the mad Tortoises when I start getting them to mate

 

I'm not sure that a fleece will stop the tortoise spunk TBH dp.

Posted
Maybe it's for when you go to that skiing place out there.

 

Stow that - it's cheaper to airmiles to Switzerland than go there and rent all the clobber then get run over by the crazy locals who can't see 'cos that headress thing blows into their eyes on the way down!

Posted

I got two tops from my godmother that were never going to fit me in a million years. Everyone knows I am a fat bloater, and normally I wouldn't mind if I could drop a stone and wear them, but they were so so small that no amount of fitness training, weight loss and holding my breath would get me into them.

Posted
I got two tops from my godmother that were never going to fit me in a million years. Everyone knows I am a fat bloater, and normally I wouldn't mind if I could drop a stone and wear them, but they were so so small that no amount of fitness training, weight loss and holding my breath would get me into them.

 

Ah, I forgot the multipack boxers, 30" waist... :smt012

Posted
Silhouette enhancing Boxer Shorts.

 

As if i need em, and they make it look mahooosive, almost comedy. Clients were impressed though

People with I.T. problems?

Posted
I got two tops from my godmother that were never going to fit me in a million years. Everyone knows I am a fat bloater, and normally I wouldn't mind if I could drop a stone and wear them, but they were so so small that no amount of fitness training, weight loss and holding my breath would get me into them.

 

That was the hint, she wanted you to hold your breath . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forever

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