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**Neil Swarbrick takes Steven Davis' hand.

Neil Swarbrick: "Steve, I love you so much, will you marry me?"

**Lallana throws himself to the floor in jealousy, desperate for attention

**Oriol looks on in concentration, deciding where is best to plant his studs

Steven davis: "hang on neil, let me just kick this *****, Nivea Boy, in the face!"

**Davis winds up that want of a right foot of his.......

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