St Hando Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 (edited) Im out on the sauce in town tonight for the first time in ages and need a few dead-cert chat-up lines to ensure i get my willeh wet. Any ideas? Edited 10 January, 2009 by St Hando spelling...
saint lard Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 I would like to take you roughly from behind. HTH.
saint lard Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 Can i tamper with your clunge.......please. You must add the "please" as this is all important . HTH.
St Hando Posted 10 January, 2009 Author Posted 10 January, 2009 yer was looking to get laid, not slapped lol Any ideas which may involve some sexytime at the end of the evening
saint lard Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 yer was looking to get laid, not slapped lol Any ideas which may involve some sexytime at the end of the evening Play with your willeh.
OldNick Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 do you know the difference between a **** (male chicken as filter stops the wording)and a chicken drumstick? (this i suggest you ask the ladies) when they say No, you reply Do you want to come on a picnic with me then. It makes them smile and thats a good start.It will then rely on your personality to do the rest.....ohhhh
ALWAYS_SFC Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 Say "do you want a ****" She will reply, strongly "no" Then you say "do you mind laying down while i have one then"
saint lard Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 Bloke "do you like chocolate" Totty" ohh yes" Bloke "great,take down your snickers and i will give you a boost" Coat,got.
saint lard Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 Bloke"excuse me for one moment but i need to go to the lavatory....have you got clean hands?" Totty"yes i have,why?" Bloke"excellent,will you come and hold it for me?" Always an ice breaker,or is that nose breaker
St Hando Posted 10 January, 2009 Author Posted 10 January, 2009 Bloke "do you like chocolate" Totty" ohh yes" Bloke "great,take down your snickers and i will give you a boost" Coat,got. lol best one so far, have also got : "is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?"
saint.tom.clancy Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 Do you like raisins...? How about a ****?
Draino76 Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 Do you come here often? It worked for my dad on my mum.
benjii Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 Just give them a leery look and start talking to them. Chat-up lines are for fictitious film and tv characters.
Thedelldays Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 Do you come here often? It worked on my dad and mum. you sick bastard
saint_stevo Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 You don't sweat much for a fat lass How do you like your breakfast?
Thedelldays Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 make eye contact with a girl and gensture with your hand for her to come over to you...when she is there, say to her.. "i have just made you come with one finger, imagine what i could do with all five"..
Thedelldays Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 another. get chatting to a girl and whisper in her ear.. "i have a knife in my pocket, lets not turn a rape into a murder"
Julian H. Cope Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 "How about I make your bung-hole fizz" "I could make your clopper drip like a f*cked fridge" "Can I lick your bum?"
saint_stevo Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 in all honestly just make her feel special and stuff, tell her how gorgeous she is and how its like she is the only girl you can see in the room then beat her doors in
ALWAYS_SFC Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 another. get chatting to a girl and whisper in her ear.. "i have a knife in my pocket, lets not turn a rape into a murder" Sicko sailor!!!
Weston Super Saint Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 another. get chatting to a girl and whisper in her ear.. "i have a knife in my pocket, lets not turn a rape into a murder" And how are things between you and your missus
Windmill Arm 2 Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 another. get chatting to a girl and whisper in her ear.. "i have a knife in my pocket, lets not turn a rape into a murder" Thats Hilarious!!!!! I love being in the Army, i get to work with likeminded sicko's. As for my chat up line, get chatting to a bird then tell her you just pictured her ****ting on a dead puppys corpse, she'll be all over you like rash.
ALWAYS_SFC Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 Thats Hilarious!!!!! I love being in the Army, i get to work with likeminded sicko's. As for my chat up line, get chatting to a bird then tell her you just pictured her ****ting on a dead puppys corpse, she'll be all over you like rash. And now a sicko squaddie!!
anothersaintinsouthsea Posted 10 January, 2009 Posted 10 January, 2009 "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"
saint_ed Posted 11 January, 2009 Posted 11 January, 2009 (edited) in all honestly just make her feel special and stuff, tell her how gorgeous she is and how its like she is the only girl you can see in the room then beat her doors in A common myth unless your talking to a fat bird and she needs a confidence booster. Take the p1ss out of the girl....she will then be putty in your hand. Edited 11 January, 2009 by saint_ed
J Bizzle Posted 11 January, 2009 Posted 11 January, 2009 Ah, your eyes are like spanners, every time I look into them my nuts tighten
Draino76 Posted 11 January, 2009 Posted 11 January, 2009 you sick bastard ROFL. My English was poor; I was smashed.
ozzmeister Posted 11 January, 2009 Posted 11 January, 2009 Guy - feel my shirt Girl - feel shirt Guy - Does that feel like boyfriend material to you?
Kaiser Soze Posted 11 January, 2009 Posted 11 January, 2009 Do you like fruit? [yes] Suck my ****, it's a fu(king peach...
hamster Posted 12 January, 2009 Posted 12 January, 2009 Salisbury girl? Offer her £20 for a ****. You get laid, she gets the rest of the night off. It ain't rocket science mate.
Matt SFC Posted 12 January, 2009 Posted 12 January, 2009 Fancy doing a trade? anal sex for a bottle of becks... i'm gay if you are
Fishy_Friend Posted 12 January, 2009 Posted 12 January, 2009 You - Your not wearing any pants are you Muff - Yes i am You - sorry my watch is 10 minutes fast Are you wearing space pants - because your ass is out of this world Do you do dry anal?
Calvin Posted 13 January, 2009 Posted 13 January, 2009 well, the best way is to compliment her if she is ugly. But if shes pretty, chat her up in a weird way without all the compliments as she is most likely used to people complimenting her. UGLIES ARE THE EASIEST.
saint_stevo Posted 13 January, 2009 Posted 13 January, 2009 well, the best way is to compliment her if she is ugly. But if shes pretty, chat her up in a weird way without all the compliments as she is most likely used to people complimenting her. UGLIES ARE THE EASIEST. Your easy
Mao Cap Posted 14 January, 2009 Posted 14 January, 2009 Just give them a leery look and start talking to them. Chat-up lines are for fictitious film and tv characters. This.
Mao Cap Posted 14 January, 2009 Posted 14 January, 2009 Oh yeah, and you can't wait any longer than half or minute or so between eye contact and starting talking to them. Makes it feel natural, like. If you keep leering at them for ages and are obviously psyching yourself up to start chatting them up they mostly lose interest.
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