Commentator phrase that annoy or nobody else says

[Stoozer]

I get annoyed by the overdue of the word "great" instead of "good". "A great goal", a "great" run, a "great" pass etc... good doesn't seem good enough anymore.

[ErwinK1961]

Anything Michael Owen or Glenn Hoddle says.

[Wrensup]

The moronic John hartson

And saying the likes of, and pluralising people's names.

[S-Clarke]

There is only one source for annoying phrases...

 

 

Some of my favs:

 

"When they don’t score they hardly ever win."

"It's a good run, but it's a poor run, if you know what I mean?"

"It's definitely hit Defoe's hand as it's gone in, but it's not a handball for me."

"Blackburn have got two strikers on and they're both playing up front."

"I love these players with two feet."

"That would have been a goal had it gone inside the post."

Edited 24 August, 2016 by S-Clarke

[dinger]

"If anything he's hit it too well"

 

This one! What could it possibly even mean?

 

Also, any variant on "you can't write scripts like this!", after something happens that's exactly how you would script it. Jamie Vardy breaks that consecutive games scoring record - "The Hollywood film-makers could never have scripted this!"... Surely it's the very first thing they would've thought of?

[dinger]

And one that's been creeping in from cricket is to describe something as 'ordinary', when you really mean sh!t.

[nta786]

Anything Owen and Drury says, and occasionally Martin Tyler

 

When WHU played United last season at final Upton Park game: 'the footballing gods shine down upon Upton park tonight'. Like seriously? Footballing gods? Oh ffs.

[angelman]

"he was entitled to go down" When there is a touch on a player in the penalty area. no he wasn't Since when was football a non contact sport?

 

Thinking about it, this might be the winner for me. Invariably said by ex-players to justify cheating most likely because they cheated as well when they played.

[LeBizzier69]

Been in tears reading some of these beauties. One that's annoyed me for some time, because footballers themselves and some pundits have picked up on it too, and used it ad nauseam - whilst using the incorrect term.

"Strength in depth"....which has been picked up by some as "strength and depth"

[SparkySaint]

Pluralising players or teams is possibly the most annoying thing commentators and pundits can say. Jamie Redknapp loves it. I think most of the things that annoy us like this come from them padding out what they are saying. Still makes me want to boil my own scrotum

 

 

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[whelk]

Football club as in Liverpool football club.

[whelk]

Pluralising players or teams is possibly the most annoying thing commentators and pundits can say. Jamie Redknapp loves it. I think most of the things that annoy us like this come from them padding out what they are saying. Still makes me want to boil my own scrotum

 

 

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Redknapp once said 'he's literally on fire' God love him.

 

And he wasn't talking about a Tibetan monk or Korean student

[doddisalegend]

Any commentary ( hell everything ever said by) done by Stan Collymore.

 

"Playing the game the right way" as if there is only one way to play football.

[CB Fry]

Football club as in Liverpool football club.

Dave Jones an early pioneer of that one. "This football club" and "xxxx football club" over and over again in interviews.

[Colinjb]

Previously mentioned:

 

What Saints don't want to do now is...... #insertthef*ckingobvious

 

Dave Merrington you have given me nightmares over the years.

[hutch]

What Saints don't want to do now, Adam, is...... #insertthef*ckingobvious

 

edited for accuracy

[Colinjb]

edited for accuracy

 

Good man.

[SuperSAINT]

The one that irks me is after a shot goes over the bar or past the post, the commentator will say:

 

"It was always going wide..." or "It was always going over...."

 

Easy to say that when you know what's going to happen!

[jamesfp1]

"That man.. *insert name*"

[Hamwic]

Can't be bothered to go through them all but Radio 5's Ian Brown is difficult to listen to with his mispronunciation of players' names such as Cliché (for Clichy), Otamendé and, possibly the worst, Mig-nolet. I am sure there are other, equally annoying commentators.

[sambosa75]

Clive Tyldsley: "Rooneyyyyyyyy...." in anticipation of him doing something brilliant, even if it is a 5 year sideways pass.

[Whitey Grandad]

Not exactly annoying phrases but plenty of colemanballs here for your enjoyment:

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/stupid-football-quotes-2012s-best-1511680

 

Including this one from on of our very own:

 

"We have this mentality of going into every game just thinking about the next game" - SHANE LONG

[SparkySaint]

I often do commentary bingo which involves many of the discussed phrases

 

 

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[OttawaSaint]

Early doors was Big Ron Atkinson first, which suggests it goes way back. He was using it when Hoddle was still playing, for some reason it became a football version of "early days".

 

I liked a lot of Big Ron's catchphrases. "spotters badge", "little eyebrows", "crowd scene" to name a few.

 

The stuff that annoys me it is:

 

- when a commentator makes a mistake (we're all human) and then instead of correcting it, just keeps going with their mistake throughout the playing of the slow-mo.

 

- ignorance; when a bit of research would have helped or just knowing the game. "Ohh Gareth Bale, brought up through the ranks at Spurs, discovered by Harry Redknapp...". "Saints' big 6-3 win when Man U had to change shirts". "he was clearly offside when he received that throw-in".

 

- trying to get a famous soundbite, "OHHHH CAN ROONEY WIN IT HERE????" *scuffs it to the corner flag* "cometh the hour" and all that crap. Just call the game!

 

- co-commentator boring on and on about something irrelevant ignoring an incident on the field.

[vectraman]

Anytime that England are playing in a tournament, the inevitable 1966 references start to be spouted out. Motty is the worst for this. For christ's sake it was 50 years ago, move on.

[Rut]

Anything Drury says

 

This x100. The 'twit' was on NBC 3 times last weekend because the normal NBC commentator (Arlo White who is fine) was doing the olympics. Drury does the worldwide feeds - usually for UK TV games. Often a country will override the worldwide feed commentator with their own. Not last weekend.

 

Included having him on the Man Utd v Saints game. Worst commentary I have ever heard. Tongue so far up Man Utd it was embarrassing. Co-commentator reminded him that Saints only finished 3 points behind Man Utd last year and won 1-0 at Old Trafford. That didn't matter it was all about 'can "utd" (puke) bring back the glory days under "the special one" (double puke)' etc etc

 

TIP:

If you have a surround system with adjustable speaker levels then turn down the centre and front speakers. This is where the commentary comes from. You'll still get the sound of the crowd from your rear (and side for 7.1) speakers. This assumes the program is being broadcast in 5.1. They usually are nowadays. I didn't do this for Drury for the Man Utd v Saints game as I wanted to hear what he would say about Saints. Mistake. He said nothing.

[ozzmeister]

I've not read the whole thread but has anyone mentioned 'boncebackability' I think defined as a teams ability to 'bonce back' post relegation?

[OldNick]

It used to be 'struggling Southampton'.

[Rut]

Not exactly annoying phrases but plenty of colemanballs here for your enjoyment:

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/stupid-football-quotes-2012s-best-1511680

 

 

Great list. There's some good ones in there that I've not heard before:

 

"That's exactly how you head a ball... you use your head" - RAY WILKINS

 

But yeah - they ain't annoying and if you have to speak tons on live TV then once in a while you don't quite say what you mean. Iain Dowie is on Sky now ain't he? Shame cos he was a quality co-commentator. He'd try and speak as fast as he was thinking which often ended up in total gibberish. Very, very listenable trying to decipher what the hell he was going on about though and far from annoying. It was good.

 

Worth co-commentator?

David Pleat. Just STFU for 2 seconds you annoying twt. Ain't had to suffer him lately. Hopefully never again.

[Wurzel]

Describing a goal/pass/virtually anything that they have just seen with their own eyes as "unbelievable". A magic trick maybe, but nothing on a football pitch fulfills that description.

[Batman]

The description of 'Zlatans' over head kick in a friendly the other week was way OTT. He missed kicked it FFS

[SuperSAINT]

David Pleat. Just STFU for 2 seconds you annoying twt. Ain't had to suffer him lately. Hopefully never again.

 

Had some great pronunciations of players. Jim Maggleton (Magilton)

[scotty]

"He had every right to go down there".

 

That one irritates me as well. Not least because it always reminds me that the wife never bothers to.

[Marino]

Nearly everyone uses "myself" - awful - what happened to "me" ??

[eurosaint]

Great thread !

"them boys done good!'

[Pass the Dutchie]

"Brilliant"

[Bobbyboy]

"They're the very definition of a selling club"

[Nick65]

"He'll be disappointed with that when he sees it again"

[Hamilton Saint]

Dave Merrington referring to a player as "the boy".

 

Dave Merrington: "What Saints don't want to do is concede a second goal before halftime."

[doddisalegend]

Nearly everyone uses "myself" - awful - what happened to "me" ??

 

apparently me ran of with I....

[hasper57saint]

The one that really annoys me is 'He sent the keeper the wrong way'.Goalkeepers make their own decisions based on information in front of them and then guess.If they waited for the ball to be kicked they'd save many more as they tend to move before the spot kick is taken and the kicker side foots the ball into the big space.

[cynicalsaint]

'Getting a tune out of....' wtf?

'Genuine pace' as opposed to...?

'Across' as in 'we will be across all of tonights bpl matches'

 

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[RedAndWhite91]

"Listen", preceding a statement. We are listening Thierry. You're on TV and you're the only person talking.

[Pengi]

Dave Merrington referring to a player as "the boy".

 

Dave Merrington: "What Saints don't want to do is concede a second goal before halftime."

 

"the boy, LoKoocoo" :-)

[Wrensup]

'worldy'

[dinger]

"he was clearly offside when he received that throw-in".

 

This sort of thing really gets to me. Like when there's a controversial decision in the box, which the assistant behind the goal 'should have seen' and the commentators lament that they "don't understand what they're there for."

 

Well find out FFS! It's literally your job to elucidate this stuff for us.

[FriendlySaint]

Calling Fonte, Fonté. The fat alcoholic on the radio keep doing it and that annoys me for some reason. The clubs in house commentary used to do it - maybe they still do.

 

Everyone called him that before we got to the prem. ....It's why the fans sing Jose Fontay baby...

 

Maybe you stopped following us when we got relegated? And only started watching us again when we went back up...

I call him Font now but I took a season of us being back in the pl to adjust as we all called him fontay before that

[Wade Garrett]

Hate it when new signings are described as acquisitions.

 

C*nts.

[Badger]

And one that's been creeping in from cricket is to describe something as 'ordinary', when you really mean sh!t.

 

add - "disappointed with that" to the "that was sh!t" code.

 

Is it Tydesley who can't resist references to "that night in Istanbul..."

[Golden Balls]

"He's put a real shift in..."