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Posted

There was a Bournemouth fan next to us in the Northam. We noticed after the first goal so we jumped on him and forced him to celebrate the second. He left early.

Posted
Needs a lot more than 2 commas to make sense. Maybe the reporter (not journalist) is well on the way to a job at the Mail.

 

I assure you it doesn't.

Posted
Oh go on then, show us where the 2 commas would go to make perfect sense.

 

The father, who mistakenly claimed a Cherries fan snatched from his 12 year old son a top player’s shirt after it had been handed to the boy after a game against Saints last Sunday, has withdrawn the accusation.

Posted

Nope, still makes no sense, unless you really think "who mistakenly claimed a Cherries fan snatched from his 12 year old son a top player’s shirt after it had been handed to the boy after a game against Saints last Sunday" does!!! Not sure whether you thought it did or whether you were just trying to put in 2 commas to make it better.

Posted
The father, who mistakenly claimed a Cherries fan snatched from his 12 year old son a top player’s shirt after it had been handed to the boy after a game against Saints last Sunday, has withdrawn the accusation.

 

That's f**king awful -and being partly French I usually love a good subordinate clause.

Posted
The father, who mistakenly claimed a Cherries fan snatched from his 12 year old son a top player’s shirt after it had been handed to the boy after a game against Saints last Sunday, has withdrawn the accusation.

 

Thank you. Though yeah, it's still not the best. :)

Posted
The father, who mistakenly claimed a Cherries fan snatched from his 12 year old son a top player’s shirt after it had been handed to the boy after a game against Saints last Sunday, has withdrawn the accusation.

That makes absolutely no sense as an opening line.

Posted
That makes absolutely no sense as an opening line.

 

Agreed, but it works fine as a follow up to some information about the father and his accusation. So what's missing is that information, as this sentence serves as a summary - of information that doesn't actually exist. Nevertheless, it is two commas away from being coherent, which is what I said originally. I made no claims about full disclosure or necessary context.

Posted

Anyway, this is a thread for morons to get excited about punch-ups and blather on about the 70s, not a half-assed critique of sentence construction.

 

Modern football, eh?

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