If you owned Southampton FC

[ErwinK1961]

1) Improve the PA/Sound System

2) Employ people on the tills that can actually count / look as if they have had contact with other humans before

3) Sack the helmet with the Mic

4) Improve the surrounding areas (bars/restaurants, more bridges to get out)

5) Reduce ticket prices

[doddisalegend]

Put the female match day magazine sellers in bikinis

 

Get the saintsweb match threads fed live onto the big screens during a game.

 

Do a sponsorship deal with playboy to publish the match day magazine.

 

Statues for Dodd and Benali

 

Push for a worldwide player wage cap of £500 a week.

[John Boy Saint]

1 Decorate the concourses as they feel like you have stepped back in time to 1970's concrete drabness.

2 buy and develop the sand works include a super bar with rapid match day service, with good quick food upstairs.

3 Bring back a Women's football team

4 Get Bose or Sonos and acoustic experts in to improve the PA

5 Buy the full allocation of away tickets provide free travel any unsold tickets give them to schools and local football teams.

 

And put a banning order in place on anyone with the temerity to criticise the club badge, and seek a court order to make them go and watch p*rtsm*uth for a season.

In all the years of its existence I am yet to hear a derogatory comment about it from any other teams supporters, or anyone for that matter aside from a few precious souls on here. In these times of brand awareness and the need for off field income why would we want to change something that is instantly recognisable and established to step back beyond the 1970's to something that dilutes the brand awareness and income.

Cortese for all his faults had a business mind, because he didn't like stripes he made the controversial effort to wean us off them, but aside from the 125 year tinker and the Silver and Gold versions, if he thought the branding was that bad he would have gone after that at the same time.

 

Look at Leeds they have changed their badge countless times on a whim, and become a bobbins club in the process.

[happy clapper]

Have photo displays (or murals) of former players in the home areas (a bit like the museum idea), for old farts like myself to reflect over the 'good old days'.

Give the blocks names of former players as well as a number. There could be a poll to determine the 48 names to be commemorated.

Have bigger TV sets for those interested in watching the TV's.

Agree with post from adriansfc about having statues.

[VectisSaint]

Statues for Dodd and Benali

It will soon be like the Terracotta Army outside the stadium with all the proposed statues. But I would add Big Ron to the list, probably more worthy than any of the others mentioned (who are all still alive anyway, don't agree with statues of living people)

[The9]

What five (off-field) changes would you make if you were the billionaire owner of SFC. Here is mine

 

1. Get rid of the horrendous Blue Peter club badge and replace it with the traditional City coat of arms.

2. Revert to our traditional navy blue shorts which we had until 1948 but we went to black because the navy blue cotton faded in those days.

3. I would (being very parochial now) ensure there was a museum incorporated into the stadium that was open to fans on match days. The club owns no memorabilia because previous regimes couldn't care less. There's lots out there and the fans need to have access.

4. Build some sort of train station outside the Kingsland incorporating the old tracks that went to the Docks. Expensive I know but how good would it be for al out of town fans to be able to catch a train to 50 yards of the station?

5. Buy PFC and turn it into our feeder club or alternatively close it down forever.

 

 

Yea I know but seriously if you suddenly found yourself in charge at SMS what 5 things would you introduce to make this club better.

 

2 doesn't bother me remotely. 3, well, if we become a global brand it would make sense for the club to have something for people to do that encourages them to visit.

 

4 has been discussed numerous times before, good in theory but in practice difficult to achieve and not particularly beneficial, a 10-15 minute walk to a station is hardly a big deal for most. It would only be worthwhile if linked to additional facilities.

 

Fairly sure most people like the badge so I'm going to say that 1 is more ridiculous than 5 - which in itself is against the rules of club ownership in England.

 

I'd probably stick to a massive development around the stadium, expanding the stadium in a way that rear sections could be closed off for smaller crowds, developing the waterside area in the immediate vicinity so that fans have convenient facilities on match days - except that no-one's going to do that unless the venues get used more than once a fortnight, so I'd stick to building an O2 sized indoor music venue/ice rink in the vicinity of the stadium (how about buying out the gas storage and developing that back to back with the Northam end?) and raking the cash in from those.

 

I absolutely could not care less about women's football or basketball, but the latter could use the indoor facility. But then so could NBA and NHL teams.

 

Tbh I'd probably spend all my cash on a decent tram network for the city.

Edited 29 September, 2015 by The9

[sadoldgit]

It will soon be like the Terracotta Army outside the stadium with all the proposed statues. But I would add Big Ron to the list, probably more worthy than any of the others mentioned (who are all still alive anyway, don't agree with statues of living people)

 

According to Batman we already have a statue of Pelle.....on the pitch!

[VectisSaint]

According to Batman we already have a statue of Pelle.....on the pitch!

Goes with the one we used to have of Jonathan Forte.

[The9]

Why members wish to increase the capacity of the stadium when we cannot fill the one we have,is beyond comprehension.

 

As it's a fantasy scenario, I'd imagine it as part of a global brand expansion and unprecedented demand for seats. To avoid pricing out a lot of the current fans we'd expand and be able to continue to offer the same prices.

 

Hardly "beyond comprehension", there are plenty of reasons to expand the stadium, not least of which is our need to try and do better than 7th at some point and the top 6 having much bigger stadia - though that's mainly because they already have much bigger fanbases.

Edited 29 September, 2015 by The9

[alpine_saint]

The irony is, of course, that the particular bellend you are parodying didnt actually put a single penny of his own money into the club.

 

1. Subsidise this forum and remove the £5 annual fee

2. Ban Alpine

3. Give Yoshida away

4. Reduce ticket prices/free entry for kids

5. Increase wages for the players and staff

 

That particular "bellend" didn't have to put any money into the club. He was the CEO not the owner. How many CEOs put their own money into the business they are running? Lazy posting Alpine, I am sure you can find other things to slag him off about?

 

Like taking candy from a baby........

Edited 29 September, 2015 by alpine_saint

[Appy]

1. Widen the bridge over the railway so that leaving 5 minutes early doesn't save you c.1 hour of your evening

 

2. Genetically modify all football fans so they are as intellectual as rugby fans, thus paving the way for allowing beer to be consumed in one's seat.

 

3. Distribute 5-10% of all match day tickets free of charge to people in the local community who can't afford to attend (they'll make a socialist out of me yet!)

 

4. Replace current announcer/entertainment chap with Bobby Davro.

 

5. Monkey chicken petting zoo

 

Rather a monkey chicken petting zoo than have our fans be like Rugby fans.

[The Cat]

Rather a monkey chicken petting zoo than have our fans be like Rugby fans.

 

Anyone unfortunate enough to have been on the same train to London as rugby fans heading to Twickenham will echo those sentiments.

 

Most over privileged, stuck up, arrogant idiots I've come across. It's fine for them to behave like ****s though because they are posh.

[Hatch]

1. rename the club - Call it FC Hatch ( Southampton)

 

2. Topless Cheerleaders

 

3. Ban anyone in offensive clothing, like crocs , velcro trainers, grey tracksuit bottoms.

 

4. Ban flasks

 

5. Make Emily Ratajkowski my secretary

[doddisalegend]

It will soon be like the Terracotta Army outside the stadium with all the proposed statues. But I would add Big Ron to the list, probably more worthy than any of the others mentioned (who are all still alive anyway, don't agree with statues of living people)

 

 

Actually that would look pretty good so statues for every player who ever managed a full season for saints all stood to attention facing a statue of Markus ?

[Alain Perrin]

1) Bring the Saintettes out of retirement

2) Sort out the PA system so that those in the front 10 rows can hear what's being said.

3) Create a fan site incorporating this forum, youtube content etc. Separately managed but heavily linked to from the Official Site.

4) Allocate £2 million per season for a fan's player purchase from lower leagues (voted for by the fans)

5) Make cup games free entry before quarter final stage.

[L1Minus10]

1 Station behind the Kingsland - shuttle trains from Woolston, Central, Eastleigh etc

2 45-50,000 expansion of SMS - ST's pegged at £300, £50 for kids with an adult

3 Fans who leave before the end get a 3 match ban

4 Burn all supplies of the away kit, reproduce it in yellow and blue, pretend green was an issue with adidas, swap for everyone who bought one.

5 Cuco Martina - terminate contract

[doddisalegend]

1) Bring the Saintettes out of retirement

 

2) Sort out the PA system so that those in the front 10 rows can hear what's being said.

 

3) Create a fan site incorporating this forum, youtube content etc. Separately managed but heavily linked to from the Official Site.

 

4) Allocate £2 million per season for a fan's player purchase from lower leagues (voted for by the fans)

 

5) Make cup games free entry before quarter final stage.

 

 

Hay number 4 would just be used to annoy Pompey.....

[Appy]

Anyone unfortunate enough to have been on the same train to London as rugby fans heading to Twickenham will echo those sentiments.

 

Most over privileged, stuck up, arrogant idiots I've come across. It's fine for them to behave like ****s though because they are posh.

 

Try living half a mile from the stadium, absolute nightmare.

[Lighthouse]

1. Make the whole Northam safe standing and put the away fans in the Northam Itchen corner. Make the standing tickets much cheaper than seats.

2. Increase capacity to 40,000. May not need expansion with safe standing.

3. Build a rail platform for match days with links to various local stations and possibly London.

4. Lager that doesn't taste like warm p*ss.

5. Buy the surrounding gas and cement works and develop the area to include a large multi-storey, waterfront bars and restaurant and a petting zoo

[Killers Knee]

1. Open Southampton Academies in every nation in the world.

2. Half time entertainment should be Gladiatorial battles to the death by selfie stick users.

3. Build a tunnel to mainland Europe and operate a Maglev train to the stadium.

4. Decorate concourse to upstage the Chateaux de Versailles.

5. Kit designed and made by Anderson & Sheppard

 

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

[Bandy Golac]

1. Ban women from St. Mary's - for obvious reasons.

2. Sack the whole board and replace them with Matt le Tiss, Franny Benali and my mate Dangerous Dave.

3. Make Spam Fritters available on the menu.

4. Anyone wearing a half and half scarf should be banned for life.

5. Subsidise away tickets and travel.

[Mr Biscuits]

I'm just wondering,

 

Would those who want to change the badge prefer to end up with something like Bournemouths current junior school project of a badge?

[PhilippineSaint]

It will soon be like the Terracotta Army outside the stadium with all the proposed statues. But I would add Big Ron to the list, probably more worthy than any of the others mentioned (who are all still alive anyway, don't agree with statues of living people)

 

Is this going to be like the soldiers on horses 1 foot in the air died in battle 2 feet in the air got sent off type of thing? Benali would have to have a cape and a couple of wires with arms and legs aloft.

[The Kraken]

Seriously, how flipping lazy are our fanbase? There's been multiple requests for a train platform by the stadium; there's already Southampton Central which is a short walk across town. Then you have Woolston, St Denys and Bitterne close by.

 

F*ck it, when I'm a billionaire I'll make all you fat lazy f*ckers a monorail to get around on.

[Whitey Grandad]

Seriously, how flipping lazy are our fanbase? There's been multiple requests for a train platform by the stadium; there's already Southampton Central which is a short walk across town. Then you have Woolston, St Denys and Bitterne close by.

 

F*ck it, when I'm a billionaire I'll make all you fat lazy f*ckers a monorail to get around on.

 

It's no good building a railway station if there aren't any trains that go to it.

 

I'm with you, walk or die.

[andyb505]

1. Buy up all the land around the stadium.

2. Then build a Saints museum, open all the time, not just match days.

3. Give away 5000 tkts each match day to young fans and community youth groups to ensure a fan base for years to come.

4. Then open up the waterfront in front of the stadium and build a few bars/restaurants and build a Saints themed hotel.

5. Plough even more money into Staplewood and the academy.

[ally_uk]

1) Relocate Stadium to Fords Factory Site. Including complex of hotel, pubs, restaurants including the Saints Arms or something.

2) Revert Away kit to Yellow and Blue

3) Inside fan waiting areas during half time have some form of entertainment? i.e Saints museum tv's showing highlights of classic games, Consoles with FIFA

4) Friendly against Pompey every pre season

[Sour Mash]

I'd echo the comments above about us really not needing a new station, we've got plenty nearby.

 

I'm also surprised about how many want new bar and restaurant type complexes and aren't happy with just the regular boozers to go to around Southampton, can't see that being an improvement.

[Killers Knee]

Need a Maglev with a direct connection to Zurich or I'm taking my ball home

 

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

[sadoldgit]

Like taking candy from a baby........

 

Funny you should say that, I thought the same thing. The only thing that I didn't get right though is I was convinced you would call him my Messiah again - but I am sure it will happen soon.

[pluto]

The city of southampton badge is fine for that but would look god awful on a football shirt.

 

What we have now is perfect, just look at what others have... lions, devil, a canon, swan, seagull, elephant, birds, horse, dragon, fox, wolf, sheep,

[northam soul]

Ban the next plum who tells me to sit down in block 3

Taser any away fans in exec boxes behind

All women should only be allowed in the chapel

Dress code to be monitored at turnstyles

Anyone with a half and half scarf to be buried in the aggregate works opposite

[Whitey Grandad]

Is it possible to strangle anybody with a half and half scarf? In France it would be dismissed as a crime of passion.

[Lighthouse]

Seriously, how flipping lazy are our fanbase? There's been multiple requests for a train platform by the stadium; there's already Southampton Central which is a short walk across town. Then you have Woolston, St Denys and Bitterne close by.

 

F*ck it, when I'm a billionaire I'll make all you fat lazy f*ckers a monorail to get around on.

 

How about elderly?

 

My grandparents were both ST until around '09 I think. For them the whole idea of walking an hour from Central to SMS back again every match completely took any enjoyment out of the game, especially in winter.

[Lighthouse]

I'd echo the comments above about us really not needing a new station, we've got plenty nearby.

 

I'm also surprised about how many want new bar and restaurant type complexes and aren't happy with just the regular boozers to go to around Southampton, can't see that being an improvement.

 

The train, as I explained to Kraken. Just to add, more people would use trains if there was a direct link to/from SMS. It would save a lot of traffic congestion.

 

The bar and restaurants was more of a commercial idea to boost income for the club and make the area a bit more attractive. Also, if we did have more people getting the train in to SMS, they would have more time to drink before and after the game because they didn't have to worry about traffic, parking, drink driving etc. etc.

[JRM]

How about elderly?

 

My grandparents were both ST until around '09 I think. For them the whole idea of walking an hour from Central to SMS back again every match completely took any enjoyment out of the game, especially in winter.

 

There's a bloody shuttle bus that runs from the station for cases like them, seriously it isn't difficult. Those who can do short walk , those who can't get on the bus. Those who need even more help wouldn't be able to get on a train anyway in the first place.

 

If any station was to be done I'd re-open Southampton Terminus and run the Orient express football special to there.

 

I would like to see a museum with interactive Southampton Experience, having visited many grounds across Europe they work well to attract visitors and also educate younger fans

[St Marco]

1. Expand the stadium by creating a big tier behind the goal and make the tickets in there cheap i.e Germany/Italy style. With the tv deals money now gate receipts are tiny.

2. Bring in an Arsenal type scheme where your season ticket also includes cup games.

3. Try and sort out the travel issues so people don't leave 10 minutes before the end. Or simply lock everybody in until 5mins after the final whistle. Really ****es me off having to keep getting up because people want to leave early. Feck knows how many goals I have missed because of that.

4. Try and help more with the costs for away games so people don't have to spend as much meaning we might take more fans to those games.

5. Re-name the stands

[Sour Mash]

The train, as I explained to Kraken. Just to add, more people would use trains if there was a direct link to/from SMS. It would save a lot of traffic congestion.

 

The bar and restaurants was more of a commercial idea to boost income for the club and make the area a bit more attractive. Also, if we did have more people getting the train in to SMS, they would have more time to drink before and after the game because they didn't have to worry about traffic, parking, drink driving etc. etc.

 

Plenty of elderly folk walk it quite easily,it's not Mount Everest.

 

A new train Station, resignalled, reprogrammed rail service isn't going to be needed to a handful of people that can't walk 20mins, but can pack onto a platform/train.

 

Plenty of pubs within 10mins walk if people want a beer, can't think of anything worse than a new built complex.

[Dalek2003]

The museum could have a roller coaster attached to it. On the roller coaster cars attach a big screen that coincides with defeats and going down the league, making you feel sick and the pleasure of climbing up coinciding with victories and moving up the league.

 

For miserable gits like myself, you could have the ride of gloom which disappears into a black hole at the start only to re-appear at the end.

[Lighthouse]

Plenty of elderly folk walk it quite easily,it's not Mount Everest.

 

A new train Station, resignalled, reprogrammed rail service isn't going to be needed to a handful of people that can't walk 20mins, but can pack onto a platform/train.

 

Plenty of pubs within 10mins walk if people want a beer, can't think of anything worse than a new built complex.

 

Bravo for them, they are clearly more mobile than my Grandparents are/were. All I know is, the walk (especially in winter) eventually put them off going. I can't imagine this is an isolated case.

 

I know there are plenty of bars and pubs, the question was what would you do if you were the billionaire owner of St Mary's. I'm just saying what I would do personally, not suggesting I will tear up my ST if the club doesn't do it.

 

If I was a billionaire I'd do much crazier stuff than that. I'd buy Fratton for a start, remove the roofs from all the stands, replace the seats with red and white striped ones and put giant posters of those goals by Moran, Pahars, Beattie, Lambert and Oakley all around the outside.

[Lighthouse]

One thing we can surely all agree on, sort that feckin' bridge out over the railway.

[Sour Mash]

Bravo for them, they are clearly more mobile than my Grandparents are/were. All I know is, the walk (especially in winter) eventually put them off going. I can't imagine this is an isolated case.

 

I know there are plenty of bars and pubs, the question was what would you do if you were the billionaire owner of St Mary's. I'm just saying what I would do personally, not suggesting I will tear up my ST if the club doesn't do it.

 

If I was a billionaire I'd do much crazier stuff than that. I'd buy Fratton for a start, remove the roofs from all the stands, replace the seats with red and white striped ones and put giant posters of those goals by Moran, Pahars, Beattie, Lambert and Oakley all around the outside.

So they could get the shuttle bus back to the station. There's no need for a station or bars.

 

I'd agree on your last paragraph and the current bridge.

[Kingsland Red]

- Remove the gas works and make the Northam a high Kop stand like the Holt End with German style standing, and permit larger banners and flags like most European leagues / Anfield etc. Relocate the away fans to the Kingsland.

- Get whichever Highways authority is responsible to change the traffic light sequence on The Avenue, to get home and away supporters out from the city quicker

- Provide a railway station in the sidings behind the Kingsland

- Improve the bridge over the railway next to the gas works

- Ensure Ronald is put on a longer contract

[Lighthouse]

So they could get the shuttle bus back to the station. There's no need for a station or bars.

 

I'd agree on your last paragraph and the current bridge.

 

They could but being elderly the tended to be resistant to change and looked for problems rather than solutions.

 

We don't NEED a station and I'm sure it's not financially viable, however IF I was a billionaire with cash to p*ss up the wall I'd do it.

 

Heck, I'd demolish half of Southampton starting with that f**k ugly Itchen Bridge. I'd replace it with something cool and distinctive looking, nowhere near as high and lit up with red and white LEDs at night.

[david in sweden]

What five (off-field) changes would you make if you were the billionaire owner of SFC. Here is mine

 

1. Get rid of the horrendous Blue Peter club badge and replace it with the traditional City coat of arms.

2. Revert to our traditional navy blue shorts which we had until 1948 but we went to black because the navy blue cotton faded in those days.

3. I would (being very parochial now) ensure there was a museum incorporated into the stadium that was open to fans on match days. The club owns no memorabilia because previous regimes couldn't care less. There's lots out there and the fans need to have access.

4. Build some sort of train station outside the Kingsland incorporating the old tracks that went to the Docks. Expensive I know but how good would it be for al out of town fans to be able to catch a train to 50 yards of the station?

5. Buy PFC and turn it into our feeder club or alternatively close it down forever.

 

Yea I know but seriously if you suddenly found yourself in charge at SMS what 5 things would you introduce to make this club better.

 

 

I think that this has turned into a generation thing, Duncan. Looking at the more serious suggestions.....buying up the land around the stadium sounds a good idea.

Build a smaller shopping centre for those people who don't want to get lost in West Quay.....and find easier parking.

........then extend the Northam end .....out over the existing car park, and turn the gasometer into a parking house .

 

I'd go along with most of your suggestions - except if we buy up Pompey F.C.---we can sell off Fratton Park (let's face it....no L2 side needs a stadium that size)

give the whole area to a building firm to put up cheap housing - and help solve the housing crisis - and let PFC play home games at Waterlooville every other week.

 

Yes - I think it's about that...... now it's just to wait until we win the lottery.....

Edited 29 September, 2015 by david in sweden

[Killers Knee]

1. Bolt 3 Nimitz Class Aircraft carriers together

2. Build 80k seater Stadium on her flight decks

3. 2 hours before KO she departs for international waters

4. Drink in seat at duty free prices all match

5. No early leavers

[Lets B Avenue]

I'd get a new Club Historian.

[Julian H. Cope]

 

1. Rename the Itchen Stand.
   
2. Play in skins away.
   
3. Dave Lee Travis to be the match day announcer.
   
4. Lemon Meringue pies.
   
5. Saints branded mobility scooters with every season ticket.
   

Edited 29 September, 2015 by Julian H. Cope

[The Cat]

Following on from the mobility scooters giveaway idea, I'd like to see the half time relay race done on them. The last two having to dribble that big ball into the net by driving the scooters across the pitch. Fighting while on the scooters is positively encouraged, they could even be modded to include weapons.

 

Rather than watching a bunch of snotty kids run around the pitch which is only ever entertaining when a fatty is competing, let the proper fans who have been following the club for 60 odd years have their chance to entertain the crowd.

 

If one of them happens to die then so be it. At least they will have popped off in their favourite place and end up immortalised in Southampton FC history.

[shurlock]

Remove the stewarding around the corporate boxes when liverpool, united, spurs etc come to town.