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Top 5 biscuits


Patrick Bateman

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Hobnobs are made from the crap McVites sweep up off the floor after they have made proper Digestives. The pukka Chocolate Digestive is beyond any doubt the supreme achievement of the British biscuit industry and a gift to Humanity that ranks alongside steam locomotion I think.

 

Custard Creams are okay I suppose, but there is something rather effeminate about them and years of experience has taught me that they are no match for a good Bourbon. Those with a sweet tooth may find Nice to be very nice of course - but be careful how long you dunk them in your tea if you want to avoid disaster!

 

As for Rich Tea ... the beige cardigan of the biscuit world.

Edited by CHAPEL END CHARLIE
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1. Jam creams

2. Lemon puffs

3. Chocolate hobnobs

4. Dark chocolate digestives

5. Orange chocolate digestives.

 

I thank you.

 

Orange biscuits are wrong and make all the others in the barrel smell of citrus. See also lemon puffs. This is definitely a packet, not barrel list JR!

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Orange biscuits are wrong and make all the others in the barrel smell of citrus. See also lemon puffs. This is definitely a packet, not barrel list JR!

 

Jesus Goatboy. You disappear for a week, then turn up on biscuit thread? I don't know about the others, but I'm disappointed. :(

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Orange biscuits are wrong and make all the others in the barrel smell of citrus. See also lemon puffs. This is definitely a packet, not barrel list JR!

 

WHO ARE YOU?!

 

He's Jesus and he lives in Woolston.

 

I agree that the lemon puffs and orange chocolate digestives do pose storage issues, and there is indeed something quite wrong with a plain dark chocolate digestive being 'tainted' with a non-original citrus flavour.

 

If I had my time again I'd actually swap orange chocolate digestives for Happy Faces on my list, but I should have thought that through a bit more so it's my own fault really.

 

For anyone who's wondering or actually cares, the Jesus part of my name is a reference to Alex Ostlund; no religious connotations as such!

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