England footballer 'arrested over underage sex allegations'

[Bearsy]

I'm the good angel and you're the bad angel on CB Saints' shoulder.

 

And I won! HAHA to you Bearsy.

 

Erm this is not a game Lou it is v.serious issue, we demand Apology for your Crass!

 

And you're also wrong about KRG! He's patronising to women! Every thread he's like yeah, bros is so dumb ain't they *pats womens head* aw yeah boys is so non-sensitive ain't they sistah, we should knit a quilt about it, but secretly he's prob LAUGHING at WOMEN!

[Coxford_lou]

Erm this is not a game Lou it is v.serious issue, we demand Apology for your Crass!

 

And you're also wrong about KRG! He's patronising to women! Every thread he's like yeah, bros is so dumb ain't they *pats womens head* aw yeah boys is so non-sensitive ain't they sistah, we should knit a quilt about it, but secretly he's prob LAUGHING at WOMEN!

 

I'm not EVER apologising to you Bear.

 

And as for KRG - you can only be patronising if you've made someone feel patronised. Otherwise it doesn't exist. It's like a goal that's been disallowed.

[Bearsy]

oh ok Lou well done you, I'm sure you think you're right *pat pat* (sorry I'm not v.good at patronising)

 

It's just that sometimes, I get so sick of KRG and his outdated views! KRG thinks of women like they're victims, like they're subjected to greater suffering and injustice than men, like this is still the 1990s or something! I just wish someone would tell him about Equality. I'm not afraid to say this, because KRG knows I just make this shit up as I go along and rarely mean anything I say, and if he starts moaning i will just be like oh sorry bro i was just messing

[Unbelievable Jeff]

KRG is proper clever though. Say what women want to hear, and they'll jump into bed with you. It's like pretending to be the gay friend, who suddenly turns bi one drunken night (not calling you gay here KRG).

 

Hope you're over 16 Lou...

Edited 3 March, 2015 by Unbelievable Jeff

[Unbelievable Jeff]

oh ok Lou well done you, I'm sure you think you're right *pat pat* (sorry I'm not v.good at patronising)

 

It's just that sometimes, I get so sick of KRG and his outdated views! KRG thinks of women like they're victims, like they're subjected to greater suffering and injustice than men, like this is still the 1990s or something! I just wish someone would tell him about Equality. I'm not afraid to say this, because KRG knows I just make this shit up as I go along and rarely mean anything I say, and if he starts moaning i will just be like oh sorry bro i was just messing

 

Tbf, you can get away with anything on this forum. Your leash is so long you could tie some ***** up and still have enough length to whip her with.

[Coxford_lou]

oh ok Lou well done you, I'm sure you think you're right *pat pat* (sorry I'm not v.good at patronising)

 

It's just that sometimes, I get so sick of KRG and his outdated views! KRG thinks of women like they're victims, like they're subjected to greater suffering and injustice than men, like this is still the 1990s or something! I just wish someone would tell him about Equality. I'm not afraid to say this, because KRG knows I just make this shit up as I go along and rarely mean anything I say, and if he starts moaning i will just be like oh sorry bro i was just messing

 

It's just that he usually says things that I'm already thinking but either can't be bothered, or have been too busy to write. It's quite handy really. Saves me a lot of effort!

 

I think I probably sound more patronising than either KRG or Bearsy, to be honest. (Though I don't mean to be).

[Bearsy]

Tbf, you can get away with anything on this forum. Your leash is so long you could tie some ***** up and still have enough length to whip her with.

 

I do get away with quite a lot! The mods don't even bother fracting me anymore, if I do a particularly bad one, Chalet just quietly deletes it for me + we carry on as normal. It's a v.good system

[Coxford_lou]

KRG is proper clever though. Say what women want to hear, and they'll jump into bed with you. It's like pretending to be the gay friend, who suddenly turns bi one drunken night (not calling you gay here KRG).

 

Hope you're over 16 Lou...

 

It is possible to like a guy and not want to jump into bed with him you know!

 

Plus, I suspect I'm a tad older than KRG.

[Coxford_lou]

I do get away with quite a lot! The mods don't even bother fracting me anymore, if I do a particularly bad one, Chalet just quietly deletes it for me + we carry on as normal. It's a v.good system

 

That's a sweet bromance.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

It is possible to like a guy and not want to jump into bed with him you know!

 

Plus, I suspect I'm a tad older than KRG.

 

It's a joke Lou. For the main part I can't disagree with the sentiments behind KRG's posts, although I don't think it's as extreme a situation as he makes out. It feels like he's living 10 years behind the rest of us...

[Coxford_lou]

It's a joke Lou. For the main part of can't disagree with the sentiments behind KRG's posts, although I don't think it's as extreme a situation as he makes out. It feels like he's living 10 years behind the rest of us...

 

Why? In what way is he living 10 years behind?

[Bearsy]

It's just that he usually says things that I'm already thinking but either can't be bothered, or have been too busy to write. It's quite handy really. Saves me a lot of effort!

 

This does you credit. My gfs head would prob explode if she was denied the opportunity to express every dumb thought that crossed her mind.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Why? In what way is he living 10 years behind?

 

I feel his thoughts on how women are treated, and how men view women is a little behind where we are nowadays, that's all. IMHO of course.

[Coxford_lou]

This does you credit. My gfs head would prob explode if she was denied the opportunity to express every dumb thought that crossed her mind.

 

I thought you had a wife? Story changes each week...suspect...

[Bearsy]

Why? In what way is he living 10 years behind?

 

His favourite band is Arcade Fire

[Bearsy]

I thought you had a wife? Story changes each week...suspect...

 

woah you're confusing me with some other Bear. This happens to me a lot. My boyfriend says I have one of those faces

[Coxford_lou]

I feel his thoughts on how women are treated, and how men view women is a little behind where we are nowadays, that's all. IMHO of course.

 

I've not picked that up. But he certainly covered all the points I would have wanted to cover on this particular debate, but didn't have the time to. Which was in response to some particular comments on here, rather than a more general discussion about how men view women.

 

Most guys I know (including on here) treat people as people, whoever they are. But there's still a chunk of society who treat women as inferior objects. Every now and then, out of the blue, it will touch your life, and not be a pleasant experience. @everydaysexism gives a little window into that world. That's not a criticism of 'men' as a group. (Guys are amazing!) It's a criticism of individuals who don't know how to behave, and a wider society, who doesn't make enough fuss about it, or gives excuses for it.

[Coxford_lou]

woah you're confusing me with some other Bear. This happens to me a lot. My boyfriend says I have one of those faces

 

St Chalet? Cute.

[Bearsy]

It is possible to like a guy and not want to jump into bed with him you know!

[Coxford_lou]

It is possible to like a guy and not want to jump into bed with him you know!

 

LOL!

[Unbelievable Jeff]

I've not picked that up. But he certainly covered all the points I would have wanted to cover on this particular debate, but didn't have the time to. Which was in response to some particular comments on here, rather than a more general discussion about how men view women.

 

Most guys I know (including on here) treat people as people, whoever they are. But there's still a chunk of society who treat women as inferior objects. Every now and then, out of the blue, it will touch your life, and not be a pleasant experience. @everydaysexism gives a little window into that world. That's not a criticism of 'men' as a group. (Guys are amazing!) It's a criticism of individuals who don't know how to behave, and a wider society, who doesn't make enough fuss about it, or gives excuses for it.

 

But it's rare. Probably rarer than racism now...I can't remember the last time I saw or heard something sexist in my everyday life, I seriously can't. Even on here, the comments aren't particularly sexist, and this is on a forum where people try to post inflammatory things to get reactions.

 

I don't really see it in my everyday life - of course that doesn't mean it doesn't exist - but at the same time I don't think it's that common. However, something I do see is a lot is women and some men talking down and criticising men (I suppose that is sexism), not that I could really give a **** about that - each to their own and all that.

Edited 4 March, 2015 by Unbelievable Jeff

[Goatboy]

But it's rare. Probably rarer than racism now...I can't remember the last time I saw or heard something sexist in my everyday life, I seriously can't. Even on here, the comments aren't particularly sexist, and this is on a forum where people try to post inflammatory things to get reactions.

 

I don't really see it in my everyday life - of course that doesn't mean it doesn't exist - but at the same time I don't think it's that common. However, something I do see is a lot is women and some men talking down and criticising men (I suppose that is sexism), not that I could really give a **** about that - each to their own and all that.

 

Girl.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Girl.

 

What is it called when you discriminate against certain animals?

[Coxford_lou]

But it's rare. Probably rarer than racism now...I can't remember the last time I saw or heard something sexist in my everyday life, I seriously can't. Even on here, the comments aren't particularly sexist, and this is on a forum where people try to post inflammatory things to get reactions.

 

I don't really see it in my everyday life - of course that doesn't mean it doesn't exist - but at the same time I don't think it's that common. However, something I do see is a lot is women and some men talking down and criticising men (I suppose that is sexism), not that I could really give a **** about that - each to their own and all that.

 

It's not rare, it's just more subtle. To the point that if you're not experiencing it first hand, you won't even be aware of it. But the consequences are still the same - women having to modify their behaviour. I'll give you some examples I experience that grate under the surface, but I just get on with it. (as defined by @eveydaysexism as "serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest.")

- going for a run and some bloke shouting out "nice tits". (That's not complimentary at all, that just makes me paranoid my sports bra is doing the job it needs to, makes me self conscious and embarrassed if anyone else hears it)

- being chatted up in a bar by a guy, giving a polite refusal, to which he responds with a nasty insult (really upsetting, and can stay with you for days).

- avoiding a street where you know you'll get comments and stares from leering guys, (I now take a slightly longer but potentially more dangerous route).

- the guy and work that would direct his stare at me every time he'd walk past my desk (as a consequence you're on your guard constantly as you don't know where that could go).

 

They are all small examples, but they build up to the point where you're constantly on your guard, or feeling like a monkey in a zoo. I'm a bit older now, but when I was a teenager, me and other girls would get this kind of harassment every day. (As well as the other end of the spectrum: flashers, guy rubbing leg up against you on the bus etc). Which you'd spend a lot of time going out of your way to avoid, or just modifying your behaviour (ie. Not going for that run) as it was too embarrassing.

 

I don't think this forum is sexist (I wouldn't spend 5 minutes on it if I did!) and in my normal life, this is a topic I rarely talk about. But when someone does say something on here that's a bit outrageous, I pick them up on it. Or puts down women in sport. More often that not, it's the hypocrisy of attitudes that gets my goat (Manchester woman vs nights in Europe - one provoked outrage, the other gleeful excitement!) But that's not a criticism to you as a man or as an individual. Im just giving a different perspective on behaviour that has been normalised for many years. In the Manchester girl case, any women would think the same as most on here, on a topic like that.

 

Anyway, hope this gives a bit of insight into my POV.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

It's not rare, it's just more subtle. To the point that if you're not experiencing it first hand, you won't even be aware of it. But the consequences are still the same - women having to modify their behaviour. I'll give you some examples I experience that grate under the surface, but I just get on with it. (as defined by @eveydaysexism as "serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so niggling and normalised that you don’t even feel able to protest.")

- going for a run and some bloke shouting out "nice tits". (That's not complimentary at all, that just makes me paranoid my sports bra is doing the job it needs to, makes me self conscious and embarrassed if anyone else hears it)

- being chatted up in a bar by a guy, giving a polite refusal, to which he responds with a nasty insult (really upsetting, and can stay with you for days).

- avoiding a street where you know you'll get comments and stares from leering guys, (I now take a slightly longer but potentially more dangerous route).

- the guy and work that would direct his stare at me every time he'd walk past my desk (as a consequence you're on your guard constantly as you don't know where that could go).

 

They are all small examples, but they build up to the point where you're constantly on your guard, or feeling like a monkey in a zoo. I'm a bit older now, but when I was a teenager, me and other girls would get this kind of harassment every day. (As well as the other end of the spectrum: flashers, guy rubbing leg up against you on the bus etc). Which you'd spend a lot of time going out of your way to avoid, or just modifying your behaviour (ie. Not going for that run) as it was too embarrassing.

 

I don't think this forum is sexist (I wouldn't spend 5 minutes on it if I did!) and in my normal life, this is a topic I rarely talk about. But when someone does say something on here that's a bit outrageous, I pick them up on it. Or puts down women in sport. More often that not, it's the hypocrisy of attitudes that gets my goat (Manchester woman vs nights in Europe - one provoked outrage, the other gleeful excitement!) But that's not a criticism to you as a man or as an individual. Im just giving a different perspective on behaviour that has been normalised for many years. In the Manchester girl case, any women would think the same as most on here, on a topic like that.

 

Anyway, hope this gives a bit of insight into my POV.

 

To be fair, those examples are pretty overt, rather than subtle and I agree they're pretty ****.

 

Not sure whether that guy at work is being sexist, or is just a perve though...flashing etc is surely in that category, rather than sexist behaviour.

[Bearsy]

You're missing the point Lou. What me & Jeff are trying to do is troll KRG, cos he will be Angar when he comes on here and reads people calling his views Outdated & Sexist. He is rightly proud of his views which he had always considered Modern and Liberal & we wanted to troll him on it, but ur ruining it! Can't you edit ur post pls, make it more like comparing KRG with a retired Army Colonel, living in the past, having no knowledge of the way society is now?

[Bearsy]

To be fair, those examples are pretty overt, rather than subtle and I agree they're pretty ****.

 

Not sure whether that guy at work is being sexist, or is just a perve though...flashing etc is surely in that category, rather than sexist behaviour.

 

I've prob had some of those too, if I think about it. I've had observations from strangers re: my sex appeal, and worse, they're not always complimentary I've had bird react negatively when I give her the raspberry in bar. I've had people look at me at work. People are looking at me right now! Bastards!

[Unbelievable Jeff]

You're missing the point Lou. What me & Jeff are trying to do is troll KRG, cos he will be Angar when he comes on here and reads people calling his views Outdated & Sexist. He is rightly proud of his views which he had always considered Modern and Liberal & we wanted to troll him on it, but ur ruining it! Can't you edit ur post pls, make it more like comparing KRG with a retired Army Colonel, living in the past, having no knowledge of the way society is now?

 

Haha, true dat.

 

I think outdated may be the wrong thing to say, perhaps exaggerated is a better way to put it. I believe his points are correct in the main, but that I don't think sexism is a particularly common thing (certainly not something I see in life). The closest I see is some people offering their seats to women on the tube; they should be more equal like me and make them stand

Edited 4 March, 2015 by Unbelievable Jeff

[Coxford_lou]

You're missing the point Lou. What me & Jeff are trying to do is troll KRG, cos he will be Angar when he comes on here and reads people calling his views Outdated & Sexist. He is rightly proud of his views which he had always considered Modern and Liberal & we wanted to troll him on it, but ur ruining it! Can't you edit ur post pls, make it more like comparing KRG with a retired Army Colonel, living in the past, having no knowledge of the way society is now?

 

Where is KRG anyway - all this talk about him - he should be on here defending himself/basking in the glory!

[Coxford_lou]

I've prob had some of those too, if I think about it. I've had observations from strangers re: my sex appeal, and worse, they're not always complimentary I've had bird react negatively when I give her the raspberry in bar. I've had people look at me at work. People are looking at me right now! Bastards!

 

[ladmode] Are they staring at your c*ck? Tell em to go s*ck on it! [/ladmode]

[Coxford_lou]

To be fair, those examples are pretty overt, rather than subtle and I agree they're pretty ****.

 

Not sure whether that guy at work is being sexist, or is just a perve though...flashing etc is surely in that category, rather than sexist behaviour.

 

I guess treating a woman as an object to leer at in the workplace is sexist.

[Coxford_lou]

Haha, true dat.

 

I think outdated may be the wrong thing to say, perhaps exaggerated is a better way to put it. I believe his points are correct in the main, but that I don't think sexism is a particularly common thing (certainly not something I see in life). The closest I see is some people offering their seats to women on the tube; they should be more equal like me and make them stand

 

Except I've already covered the fact you don't think it's common. It's very common, it's just not aimed at you.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

I guess treating a woman as an object to leer at in the workplace is sexist.

 

Why is that treating you as an object? He may be thinking, "Wow, she is so attractive, I can't keep my eyes off her'. He may just really like you. Is there anything wrong with that for instance?

 

I guess it's all about our perception of what happens around us, and if you are offended or uncomfortable and feel it's sexist, then ultimately it is. However, I find it difficult to think that sexism is a massive problem that people turn a blind eye to because a few people are weird, and probably have proper issues in that area.

[Coxford_lou]

Why is that treating you as an object? He may be thinking, "Wow, she is so attractive, I can't keep my eyes off her'. He may just really like you. Is there anything wrong with that for instance?

 

I guess it's all about our perception of what happens around us, and if you are offended or uncomfortable and feel it's sexist, then ultimately it is. However, I find it difficult to think that sexism is a massive problem that people turn a blind eye to because a few people are weird, and probably have proper issues in that area.

 

It's in the workplace. That's the big difference. And it's not nervous glances, it's obvious and direct to the point my team mates talk about it.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Except I've already covered the fact you don't think it's common. It's very common, it's just not aimed at you.

 

From reading yours and KRG's posts, many of them are about sexism. In fact the number of posts has I think exacerbated my perception of the amount of sexist issues there actually are. How many posts do you think you've written about sexism or have sexist tones to them? I would say at least a third. Perhaps that skews the argument for me a bit, and perhaps we're working from different sides.

 

If I were to ask you how many men, out of ten, you say display sexist tendancies on a daily basis, I would plump for around five. I have no idea if that is right or wrong.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

It's in the workplace. That's the big difference. And it's not nervous glances, it's obvious and direct to the point my team mates talk about it.

 

You spend half of your awake week at work (or near enough), and a lot of people meet their spouses at work...obviously this is not the case with this bloke, but I think it's a bit difficult to call it sexism when this bloke could be a proper weirdo. I'm not sure we can include weirdos as surely they are outliers?

[Bearsy]

Maybe he's got an eye condition. I knew a girl who had no blink reflex, and she had to purposely remember to blink every 10 seconds or so, otherwise her eyes would dry out. It made her look mental! You'd think you wouldn't notice the difference if someone was involuntary blinking, or blinking on purpose, but you could totally tell!

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Please note, I am happy that I may well be wrong on all of this, and sexism may be around on a massive scale, I just feel like the amount it gets talked about on here is disproportionate to what I see on a day to day basis (and also speaking to the girls at work that they see).

 

It also may be due to location as well.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Maybe he's got an eye condition. I knew a girl who had no blink reflex, and she had to purposely remember to blink every 10 seconds or so, otherwise her eyes would dry out. It made her look mental! You'd think you wouldn't notice the difference if someone was involuntary blinking, or blinking on purpose, but you could totally tell!

 

Seriously? That's pretty funny! Haha!

 

The guy I sit next to at work breathes incredibly heavily, so much so that I was on a conference call the other day with him and two of our (female) directors and i had to speak a lot to make sure they knew it wasn't me. He sounded like he was ****ing under the table.

[Bearsy]

Please note, I am happy that I may well be wrong on all of this, and sexism may be around on a massive scale, I just feel like the amount it gets talked about on here is disproportionate to what I see on a day to day basis (and also speaking to the girls at work that they see).

 

It also may be due to location as well.

 

Too late for all that, Sarb. You've nailed your penis to the mast, and we're already Judging You

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Too late for all that, Sarb. You've nailed your penis to the mast, and we're already Judging You

 

Ah, ********. Oh well, may as well go all out then.

 

Nice tits Lou... (jokes)

[Bearsy]

Seriously? That's pretty funny! Haha!

 

Yeah for real. It's really distracting when you talk to her. After a while I started doing deliberate & exaggerated blinks back, I don't know if I was purposely trying to mock her, or if's just catching, but she got Very Angar!

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Yeah for real. It's really distracting when you talk to her. After a while I started doing deliberate & exaggerated blinks back, I don't know if I was purposely trying to mock her, or if's just catching, but she got Very Angar!

 

Or is it some sort of come on. Maybe she's telling you she really likes bears or sumink in morse...

[Bearsy]

I should bring her up on an FA charge for Staring, like Lou does with the poor, infatuated suckers at her work

[Coxford_lou]

You spend half of your awake week at work (or near enough), and a lot of people meet their spouses at work...obviously this is not the case with this bloke, but I think it's a bit difficult to call it sexism when this bloke could be a proper weirdo. I'm not sure we can include weirdos as surely they are outliers?

 

That's the trouble giving examples, light on detail. It's easy to pick them apart. And it's tricky, because you've not met me, so you've got no way to judge if I'm the sort of person who would make a fuss over nothing. All I can say is, believe me, the examples I'm giving you are not a case of some nice fun flirting. Or making a move on someone you like. Really.

[Coxford_lou]

Please note, I am happy that I may well be wrong on all of this, and sexism may be around on a massive scale, I just feel like the amount it gets talked about on here is disproportionate to what I see on a day to day basis (and also speaking to the girls at work that they see).

 

It also may be due to location as well.

 

Only reason for that, is people say daft things on here. Most of it I don't respond to. Every now and again I do. This topic was a particular example of that. I was flabbergasted that more than one person responded to a story about a football player being arrested for having sex with a 15 year old, with a 'woe is me, how will this affect me in nightclubs when I'm not sure how old the person hitting on me is' !!

 

Anyway, I'm done on this topic. The more I respond, the more if feeds the impression I'm a feminist bore.

[Coxford_lou]

I should bring her up on an FA charge for Staring, like Lou does with the poor, infatuated suckers at her work

 

Behave, Bear!!

[Unbelievable Jeff]

That's the trouble giving examples, light on detail. It's easy to pick them apart. And it's tricky, because you've not met me, so you've got no way to judge if I'm the sort of person who would make a fuss over nothing. All I can say is, believe me, the examples I'm giving you are not a case of some nice fun flirting. Or making a move on someone you like. Really.

 

Completely fair enough.

 

Happy to stop the discussion too.

[sadoldgit]

Only reason for that, is people say daft things on here. Most of it I don't respond to. Every now and again I do. This topic was a particular example of that. I was flabbergasted that more than one person responded to a story about a football player being arrested for having sex with a 15 year old, with a 'woe is me, how will this affect me in nightclubs when I'm not sure how old the person hitting on me is' !!

 

Anyway, I'm done on this topic. The more I respond, the more if feeds the impression I'm a feminist bore.

 

Isnt this the problem though? many guys feel that it is just a bit of harmless fun or banter as a certain celebrity in the jungle might say. Unless something like this happens to you you have no idea what it feels like. It doesn't happen to blokes in the main so they just think that women over react when they kick off about being fed up at being treated like objects.

 

It is the girls fault that she got raped because she was wearing sexy clothes and was drunk so clearly asking for it. It was the girls fault she got wolf whistled because she is showing he legs and is wearing make up. In many blokes heads they think that the women are dressing or behaving in a certain way as part of the mating ritual. Many women say they don't dress up for men but for themselves and their mates when thet go out because they want to look nice, not because they are looking to get laid.

 

Until men get their heads around the fact that the world does not revolved around their d*cks nothing will change.

[Bearsy]

I don't think that stuff is harmless banter, i think it's v.often a less brusque way for bloke to say, "Hi, would you be interested in having sex with me?" We don't even necessarily mean right now, we're conducting researches & collecting data!

 

Can we condemn bros for asking a genuine question? Are we to be vilified because the penis wants to have sex 10 times a day with pretty much every woman it sees? Is That Our Fault?