Halo Stickman Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Yeah that was weird spending a week in the Techno forum trying to sell phones. Not even sell phones, he's been trying to sell the opportunity to buy a phone! He's like one of those skanks in Ibiza, trying to coral punters into dive bar. V.grubby. Even grubbier, at one point I suspected Bletch had come back as PompeyLass – that was until she mentioned her SO postcode, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 What about if a woman approached you in a bar and offered to buy you a drink, is that acceptable ? Pint of vodka top please PL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 I'm still not getting it! How would that even work? So she asks me if I want a drink, I attract the barman's attention, order my drink, asks what she wants, then he comes back and I give him the money- wait, I've gone wrong somewhere? Yep, clearly. No! That was quite an emphatic no, any particular reason ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Pint of vodka top please PL. I'll call an ambulance for you as well ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 4 pints of fosters, 2 pints Strongbow, 1 gin&tonic, 3 dbl Jack+Coke, 10 Jaeger Bombs and an ambulance pls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Yep, clearly. That was quite an emphatic no, any particular reason ? Just feels wrong, would be wrong. Man buys drink, fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 (edited) If a person, clearly of the female persuasion, approached me in a bar and offered to buy me a drink and I didn't know them I'd run a mile!! If she started chatting to me first, then accepted my offer to buy her a drink and then offered to buy one later then I would accept. Edited 25 February, 2015 by Big Bad Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 If a person clearly of the female persuasion approached me in a bar and offered to buy me a drink and I didn't know them I'd run a mile!! If she started chatting to me first, then accepted my offer to buy her a drink and then offered to buy one later then I would accept. tbf I would be similarly suspicious if it was random bloke. I would be thinking, ok I like free drink, but I dunno that I want to be stuck with some randomer for Whole Night. Accepting drink from Complete Stranger is a Social Contract Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussexsaint Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Looks for the big flapping hands and the adams apple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Didn't Kevin Wilson write a song to help in these situations? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 tbf I would be similarly suspicious if it was random bloke. I would be thinking, ok I like free drink, but I dunno that I want to be stuck with some randomer for Whole Night. Accepting drink from Complete Stranger is a Social Contract True story, I was working at the London office and staying in a hotel near Tower Bridge. One night I take a walk over the other side of the bridge and stop in the boozer to have a beer or three. Bloke in a rugby shirt is sitting at bar already and start talking to me as I'm drinking my beer at the bar. He offers to buy me a drink, I decline because I had "a bad feeling" about this one. Sure enough he suddenly blurts "I think your gorgeous do you want to come back to mine?", at which point I make my excuses and leave very quickly, I also made sure I walked past my hotel and made sure he wasn't following me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Didn't Kevin Wilson write a song to help in these situations? Blown too much of me time buying dinner and wine And me money on flowers and lollies Only to find that what's on me mind Isn't on hers and she's sorry So I've made up some lines that save wastin' time And keep me from blowin' me brass I'm ever so cool I just prop on the stool Right next to hers and I ask: Chorus 'Do you **** on first dates? Does your dad own a brewery? Could I feel your tits? Or would you show 'em to me? Cause you've you've got a nice head And you look pretty honest So me face'll be leavin' in a quarter of an hour-- I'd like you to be on it' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Blown too much of me time buying dinner and wine And me money on flowers and lollies Only to find that what's on me mind Isn't on hers and she's sorry So I've made up some lines that save wastin' time And keep me from blowin' me brass I'm ever so cool I just prop on the stool Right next to hers and I ask: Chorus 'Do you **** on first dates? Does your dad own a brewery? Could I feel your tits? Or would you show 'em to me? Cause you've you've got a nice head And you look pretty honest So me face'll be leavin' in a quarter of an hour-- I'd like you to be on it' Great lyrics !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Did you not think it disturbing that he's buying these girls lollies? How old is they ffs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Most men are crap at hints. I am one of them, and was bloody terrible at picking up signals as a teenager. Consequently, I think women need to initiate, purely for their own sakes. Most men are crap at hints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Most men are crap at hints. I am one of them, and was bloody terrible at picking up signals as a teenager. Consequently, I think women need to initiate, purely for their own sakes. Most men are crap at hints. Damned if we do and damned if we don't, probably why I'm still single ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Most men are crap at hints. I am one of them, and was bloody terrible at picking up signals as a teenager. Consequently, I think women need to initiate, purely for their own sakes. Most men are crap at hints. How do you mean? Give me a hint! Are you meaning bros that can't tell when a girl is interested, which I find bit difficult to believe, or merely bros who can't tell (or choose not to) when bird is not interested, which tbf I see quite often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 (edited) How do you mean? Give me a hint! Are you meaning bros that can't tell when a girl is interested, which I find bit difficult to believe, or merely bros who can't tell (or choose not to) when bird is not interested, which tbf I see quite often. I've found that it takes two forms. When single, it's just not working out whether someone likes you. I've been told loads of times after the fact by mates that such and such was into me at a certain time, I cross-reference that with certain memories, and think "oh pap, you stupid bastard". In a relationship, it's when your significant other drops several clues in the build up to an event, such as a birthday. Men often completely fail to pick up on these hints, and are utterly bewildered when they get spare-roomed because the garage-bought flowers aren't good enough, apparently. I've told ms pap straight. Don't do hints. I will never get hints. Edited 25 February, 2015 by pap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 I don't think I am v.afflicted with that, I am prob quite Sherlock when it comes to Hints+Clues. Maybe ur on the Spectrum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericb Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Damned if we do and damned if we don't, probably why I'm still single ! All your family members married off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 I don't think I am v.afflicted with that, I am prob quite Sherlock when it comes to Hints+Clues. Maybe ur on the Spectrum You're wasting your life here, Bear. You should set up some sort of premium rate helpline. "Bear. I'm in a club and this girl is rubbing herself up against me. Is she interested?" "FFS, pap, I love your money but I'm starting to feel sorry for you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 All your family members married off? Very original !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 "Bear. I'm in a club and this girl is rubbing herself up against me. Is she interested?" The advice here is always, check yo pockets! I refer to this important + overlooked Bearsy story from erm 2013: We was in a club right, in Birmingham, and I was showing the people of Birmingham my stellar dance moves when this bird comes up and unaccountably grabs hold of my mate and starts feeling on his arse. I say unaccountably, cos if she had to feel anyone's arse I'd of thought she'd want to feel mine, and also cos I felt like she was too good looking for the likes of him. Anyways, after a bit she fucks off, presumably to go wash her hands or something, and my mate is all smug and suddenly extra hyper like you are when birds is randomly hitting on you. Couple of minutes later Mark is frantically patting his back pockets. "What is matter?" I say. He is gone white as sheet. "My wallet's gone!" I was immediate lols. "Haha, your bird must've nicked it!" I dunno what you would have done in this situation, I would prob put it down as lesson learnt bout not keeping wallet in back pocket, but not Mark. He insists we search whole club for the bird. I'm objecting that she's hardly likely to hang around, but we do it anyway. We find her immediately in the upstairs bar. I am sensing something is wrong. She is with some girl mates and sees us coming, but she seems pleased about it. She is smiling and nudging her mate as we walk over. I'm wondering how Mark is going to edge into what promises to be quite an awkward interview, but he is having no such qualms. "Did you take my wallet?" he demands. It was pretty lols how her face went from smile, to confusion, to anger. She was v.angar. After some stout denials, we was both advised to fuck off with bells on. Anyway, my mate got a call today. They found his wallet in the gents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 I've been told loads of times after the fact by mates that such and such was into me at a certain time, I cross-reference that with certain memories, and think "oh pap, you stupid bastard". Yes, I can relate to that. Not the bit about mates telling me stuff after the fact, the bit about thinking 'oh Pap, you stupid bastard.' Sorry Pap – Bear's rubbing off on me in a bad way. Actually, I can relate to the first bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Yes, I can relate to that. I think you're a stupid bastard too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Yes, I can relate to that. Not the bit about mates telling me stuff after the fact, the bit about thinking 'oh Pap, you stupid bastard.' Sorry Pap – Bear's rubbing off on me in a bad way. Actually, I can relate to the first bit. Check your wallet Halo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 25 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Lou, to answer your original question, from what I can remember, I think I used to prefer my first dates to air on the side of sobriety and leave a little bit covered up, to be interpreted by my imagination. But I, too, have a question: if a woman, such as yourself, notices a man staring at her breasts, or whatever, is she flattered, offended, spooked or something else. If this depends on how long the stare lasts, then it would be very helpful to know what length of time is acceptable. I'm not looking for a precise time, you can round it up or down to the nearest 10 minutes if you like. Hi Halo, Sorry slow to respond. Hectic day at work. Easy answer: accidental look is acceptable. Stare is weird. Anything over a split second = a stare. Not sure I'd call either flattering though. What's with guys that spread their legs wide open when you're in a one on one meeting with them? I've had a couple of colleagues do that recently - it was hard to know where to look! Close your legs boys - you'd be pretty freaked out if I did that to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 25 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Amything but those porn heels please lou. They look ridiculous. Chest waders and leather bra, fine. GB, I thought I was supposed to be in nuns outfit? Make up your mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Hi Halo, Sorry slow to respond. Hectic day at work. Easy answer: accidental look is acceptable. Stare is weird. Anything over a split second = a stare. Not sure I'd call either flattering though. What's with guys that spread their legs wide open when you're in a one on one meeting with them? I've had a couple of colleagues do that recently - it was hard to know where to look! Close your legs boys - you'd be pretty freaked out if I did that to you! Only if your nuts were hanging out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 GB, I thought I was supposed to be in nuns outfit? Make up your mind! Jeez, it's not the weekend yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 25 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Pls try and Conform, Lou, you've been upsetting our beloved Stereotypes ever since you got here! Next you'll be trying to tell me that you don't know how many calories is in half a grapefruit! I'm not Having It! Sorry Bearsy, never get the calorie counting nonsense! I do quite like shoes though. I've got about 20 pairs, of which most are gorgeous heels, and at least 5 of them of only worn on one occasion. Does that help? But I HATE shopping. And I'm the best map reader I've ever met. Better than any boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Sorry Bearsy, never get the calorie counting nonsense! I do quite like shoes though. I've got about 20 pairs, of which most are gorgeous heels, and at least 5 of them of only worn on one occasion. Does that help? But I HATE shopping. And I'm the best map reader I've ever met. Better than any boy. I once read that the British woman has on average 27 pairs of shoes. Mind you, that was a few years ago. They've probably bought a few more since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 25 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Perverts ! I am SO digging my new partner in crime... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 25 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Are you writing a guide? I assume a % of royalties are headed to SWF posters? Just working on perfecting my women skills as defined by posters on TMS. I'm not sure if this is a good thing to do or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 25 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 25 February, 2015 I didn't say every woman did it - just that the people who do it are mainly women - big difference. How do you know? Have you had many boyfriends? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 I always read your username as erico farabia and imagine a swarthy latino. ' .... I'd rather you just stopped having images of me everytime I post PS ... Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not a swarthy latino!! The good news is you're not the only one who assumed that was my name!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Just working on perfecting my women skills as defined by posters on TMS. And I'm the best map reader I've ever met. Better than any boy. Lou, I can't speak for my fellow Muppets, nevertheless, I doubt that map-reading figures very prominently in anyone's definition of required skills for perfect women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Lou, I can't speak for my fellow Muppets, nevertheless, I doubt that map-reading figures very prominently in anyone's definition of required skills for perfect women. Oh, I don't know. They'd need a map to find their way around me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Most men are crap at hints. I am one of them, and was bloody terrible at picking up signals as a teenager. Consequently, I think women need to initiate, purely for their own sakes. Most men are crap at hints. Ha ha ... so true!! Many many many years ago. At a female friend's house with a few other friends, a few beers and wine, chatting, playing cards, listening to music etc. One by one everybody else left, leaving just me and this girl who I had a bit of a crush on, but we were just good mates. Anyway whilst we were chatting she took her ear rings off. For some unknown reason, but quite possibly beer related, I had a quick weigh up of what each of us was wearing and decided that the balance had now been tipped in my favour and blurted out "Do you fancy a game of strip poker"? This was politely turned down, and we played trumps or something instead!! Coffe was poured and I left! What I'd failed to realise, according to Mrs EoA when somehow this incident came up in converstion years later, once again possibly beer related!! .... she said the ear ring removal was probably some sort of discreet code announcing that her ear lobes and neck were ready for a bit of nibbling and necking ... and lets see where it leads to I've never had the courage to ask since if this was indeed the case. What do you reckon girls? My actions were very out of character ... a bit of a Butthead and Bevis ... "Yeah I'm gonna score heh heh heh heh"" rush of blood moment I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 25 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Lou, I can't speak for my fellow Muppets, nevertheless, I doubt that map-reading figures very prominently in anyone's definition of required skills for perfect women. Darn! Done it again - just can't help myself! Will never become a TMS Perfect Women at this rate. Need to work on the Laura Ashley, cutesy, needy, non threatening skills. And stop looking hot, watching football, and buying rounds of drink! ...wait...hang on... you sure?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Lou, I can't speak for my fellow Muppets, nevertheless, I doubt that map-reading figures very prominently in anyone's definition of required skills for perfect women. Depends how far away the bar is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 25 February, 2015 Author Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Ha ha ... so true!! Many many many years ago. At a female friend's house with a few other friends, a few beers and wine, chatting, playing cards, listening to music etc. One by one everybody else left, leaving just me and this girl who I had a bit of a crush on, but we were just good mates. Anyway whilst we were chatting she took her ear rings off. For some unknown reason, but quite possibly beer related, I had a quick weigh up of what each of us was wearing and decided that the balance had now been tipped in my favour and blurted out "Do you fancy a game of strip poker"? This was politely turned down, and we played trumps or something instead!! Coffe was poured and I left! What I'd failed to realise, according to Mrs EoA when somehow this incident came up in converstion years later, once again possibly beer related!! .... she said the ear ring removal was probably some sort of discreet code announcing that her ear lobes and neck were ready for a bit of nibbling and necking ... and lets see where it leads to I've never had the courage to ask since if this was indeed the case. What do you reckon girls? My actions were very out of character ... a bit of a Butthead and Bevis ... "Yeah I'm gonna score heh heh heh heh"" rush of blood moment I think. Yeah, you should definitely have taken a slower approach with that! Her ears might just have been sore, but it might have been a sexy little move. I think with most of these things, always trust your first instinct. If you suspect something is on, it probably is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Ha ha ... so true!! Many many many years ago. At a female friend's house with a few other friends, a few beers and wine, chatting, playing cards, listening to music etc. One by one everybody else left, leaving just me and this girl who I had a bit of a crush on, but we were just good mates. Anyway whilst we were chatting she took her ear rings off. For some unknown reason, but quite possibly beer related, I had a quick weigh up of what each of us was wearing and decided that the balance had now been tipped in my favour and blurted out "Do you fancy a game of strip poker"? This was politely turned down, and we played trumps or something instead!! Coffe was poured and I left! What I'd failed to realise, according to Mrs EoA when somehow this incident came up in converstion years later, once again possibly beer related!! .... she said the ear ring removal was probably some sort of discreet code announcing that her ear lobes and neck were ready for a bit of nibbling and necking ... and lets see where it leads to I've never had the courage to ask since if this was indeed the case. What do you reckon girls? My actions were very out of character ... a bit of a Butthead and Bevis ... "Yeah I'm gonna score heh heh heh heh"" rush of blood moment I think. Maybe she was just a bit pussy. A quick wipe with surgical spirits and she would have cleared that up quick smart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 25 February, 2015 Share Posted 25 February, 2015 Maybe she was just a bit pussy. A quick wipe with surgical spirits and she would have cleared that up quick smart. That has completely scarred my thought process whenever I read that word now Surely it can't be spelt the same!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 26 February, 2015 Share Posted 26 February, 2015 Sorry Bearsy, never get the calorie counting nonsense! I do quite like shoes though. I've got about 20 pairs, of which most are gorgeous heels, and at least 5 of them of only worn on one occasion. Does that help? But I HATE shopping. And I'm the best map reader I've ever met. Better than any boy. I hate shopping as well and I love shoes, have about 30 pairs also mostly heels ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyLass Posted 26 February, 2015 Share Posted 26 February, 2015 I am SO digging my new partner in crime... This board needs a like button ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 26 February, 2015 Share Posted 26 February, 2015 I do quite like shoes though. I've got about 20 pairs, of which most are gorgeous heels, and at least 5 of them of only worn on one occasion. Does that help? Pfft even I've prob got that many pair of shoes! I don't have quite so many heels tho. I am surprise to find girls having less than 50 pairs tbh, you need to be spending less of yo money buying pap drinks at Farmhouse, and more buying shoes prob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shurlock Posted 26 February, 2015 Share Posted 26 February, 2015 And I'm the best map reader I've ever met. Better than any boy. Depends what it means: calm unflappability or borderline control-freak? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 26 February, 2015 Share Posted 26 February, 2015 That has completely scarred my thought process whenever I read that word now Surely it can't be spelt the same!! I had to check myself :- [h=2]pussy[/h] adjective pus·sy \ˈpəs-ē\ (Medical Dictionary) pus·si·erpus·si·est [h=2]Medical Definition of PUSSY[/h]: full of or resembling pus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 26 February, 2015 Share Posted 26 February, 2015 And I'm the best map reader I've ever met. Better than any boy. Thank the lords I'm a man then, what were you Girl Guides then Rangers or some other modern fangled girl scout group thing?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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