The man advice thread

[Bearsy]

Yeah, but we can see through it. Nothing worse than a guy acting all casual when you can see their hands shaking.

 

Jeez why is their hands shaking? What are you doing to these poor saps?

[Big Bad Bob]

Jeez why is their hands shaking? What are you doing to these poor saps?

 

Short skirt, stockings and tight, low-cut top

[Jonnyboy]

Thanks for the advice guys, but you misunderstood - none of the outfits would be slutty!! I live in London, not Liverpool! None of my friends could look slutty if they tried! A bit of leg can still look classy!

 

It was more a question of hot vs casual. And if hot, whether boobs or legs.

 

If the only way to feel relaxed is for you to be Hot then go Hot. But I'd say Boobs, legs, makeup etc can either intimidate a guy who may already be quite nervous, or even overexcite him.

Most good looking women are hot whatever they're wearing so long it's not a sack or a burka, so just let your personality shine through.

 

By the way, is it one of the guys off of here?

Edited 24 February, 2015 by Jonnyboy

[Big Bad Bob]

By the way, is it one of the guys off of here?

 

Bearsy, she just doesn't know it yet...

[Bearsy]

just let your personality shine through.

 

jb pls, be srs

[Jonnyboy]

jb pls, be srs

 

OK sorry went a bit far there with JB's Cosmopolitan Advice Corner.

 

In conclusion, I really like tits.

[buctootim]

I really like tits.

 

Yeah but if they're pushing your pint and cheese & onion off the table it can be off putting.

[Bearsy]

Bearsy, she just doesn't know it yet...

 

woah for all she and I know, we've banged already. That goes for the rest of you too, if you think about it. You could be That Guy from school that showed me his Wiener and suggested I Touch It. In fact, I'd be surprised if you're not

[Goatboy]

woah for all she and I know, we've banged already. That goes for the rest of you too, if you think about it. You could be That Guy from school that showed me his Wiener and suggested I Touch It. In fact, I'd be surprised if you're not

 

I hope you've become more gentle with age.

[Bearsy]

When you had ur first ever wank, gb, if you can remember that far back, was there blood? Genuine question, no trolls pls.

 

Edit: Asking for friend

[Goatboy]

When you had ur first ever wank, gb, if you can remember that far back, was there blood? Genuine question, no trolls pls.

 

Edit: Asking for friend

 

Only when your mum zipped me up too quick:thumbup:

[Halo Stickman]

By the way, is it one of the guys off of here?

 

I think I read earlier that Bucks Saint is taking his 15 year old lad along to the next Farmhouse meet-up. Let's hope it's not him - we don't want Lou getting arrested.

[Bearsy]

Only when your mum zipped me up too quick:thumbup:

 

haha yeah i was just joking i didn't have blood either

 

I learned how to do wank from my brother. I mean, he didn't help or anything, but I'd seen him do one. What happened was at Christmas or something, because of visitors, we had to share a room. We were separate beds, it wasn't gay. I woke up in the night and saw my brother doing a wank. He was sitting up, facing my direction, which looking back, is prob a bit weird. He is 2 years older than me. I saw the whole thing! All the stuff come out and everything! And the other thing that struck me as weird even then, and definitely does now, was the way that after he came he just laid back and went to sleep, and didn't mop up or wash his hands or anything. Dirty cunt. He doesn't like to talk about it tho, so don't mention it if you see him. When I raised the subject at Christmas dinner he just went all quiet, and his wife gave me a Funny Look. Only his children found it Funny

Edited 24 February, 2015 by Bearsy
for added confusion

[Goatboy]

haha yeah i was just joking i didn't have blood either

 

I learned how to do wank from my brother. I mean, he didn't help or anything, but I'd seen him do one. What happened was at Christmas or something, because of visitors, we had to share a room. We were separate beds, it wasn't gay. I woke up in the night and saw my brother doing a wank. He was sitting up, facing my direction, which looking back, is prob a bit weird. He is 2 years older. I saw the whole thing! All the stuff come out and everything! And the other thing that struck me as weird even then, and definitely does now, was the way that after he came he just laid back and went to sleep, and didn't mop up or wash his hands or anything. Dirty cunt. He doesn't like to talk about it tho, so don't mention it if you see him. When I raised the subject at Christmas dinner he just went all quiet, and his wife gave me a Funny Look. Only his children found it Funny

 

[the saint in winchester]

I didn't know Travelodges had bars !

 

Don't judge everyone's taste/budget by your own, Po'lass.

 

My hotel will have a spa, pool and gym. And a bar ......... and a restaurant.

[PompeyLass]

Don't judge everyone's taste/budget by your own, Po'lass.

 

My hotel will have a spa, pool and gym. And a bar ......... and a restaurant.

 

Haha, I'm a Premier Inn girl

[Tokyo-Saint]

From my experience I tend to attract the weirdo's or sex pests !!!!

Take my advice and ignore those PMs from bear.

[Bearsy]

oh hi tokyos i saw this the other day & it made me think of you

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

Cause birds want to show me tits and classy legs?

[Bearsy]

Erm no can't you see picture? It's racist picture, I thought it was the sort of thing you would like and/or be offensed. It is win/win for me, either way

[Bearsy]

You keep forgetting to do ur thumbs up btw

[Patrick Bateman]

Thanks for the advice guys, but you misunderstood - none of the outfits would be slutty!! I live in London, not Liverpool! None of my friends could look slutty if they tried! A bit of leg can still look classy!

 

It was more a question of hot vs casual. And if hot, whether boobs or legs.

 

So in answer to my earlier question, you're looking for something based on sex & looks, not long term?

 

You can look "hot" in business dress or decent jeans + top etc., doesn't need to be revealing at all - unless of course it's not a long term thing you're after ...

[Tokyo-Saint]

Sorry bear, I'm posting on tapitalk****i so thumbs are are not so easy. Saw pic now and like. It means my bird will be fit for another 15 years, then I can divorce and get a new version, same as I did with my car. :thumbsup:

[Coxford_lou]

Jeez why is their hands shaking? What are you doing to these poor saps?

 

I don't know Bear, im really nice, I promise.

 

I think some guys get nervous in the company of any female.

[buctootim]

It means my bird will be fit for another 15 years, then I can divorce and get a new version, same as I did with my car. :thumbsup:

 

I thought you got a used one with a massive rear which had been round the block a few times?

[buctootim]

I don't know Bear, im really nice, I promise.

 

I think some guys get nervous in the company of any female.

 

I used to be like that. All boys school innit? You'd hope they'd have grown out of it by 40 though.

[Tokyo-Saint]

You used to like school boys? Bletch got your login or something?

[buctootim]

You used to like school boys? Bletch got your login or something?

 

He's still upstairs hosing down the pony.

[Lets B Avenue]

Yeah, but we can see through it. Nothing worse than a guy acting all casual when you can see their hands shaking.

 

Only if they are down the front of his trousers.

[Coxford_lou]

If the only way to feel relaxed is for you to be Hot then go Hot. But I'd say Boobs, legs, makeup etc can either intimidate a guy who may already be quite nervous, or even overexcite him.

Most good looking women are hot whatever they're wearing so long it's not a sack or a burka, so just let your personality shine through.

 

By the way, is it one of the guys off of here?

 

Oh cripes Jonnyboy, if I were to go out with someone on here, I'd hardly be discussing their shaking hands, would I? That would be cruel! Bearsy isn't used to female company, he can't help it!

 

PS. Seriously, guys get intimidated by legs?! F*ck me. No wonder girls are confused.

[Goatboy]

Oh cripes Jonnyboy, if I were to go out with someone on here, I'd hardly be discussing their shaking hands, would I? That would be cruel! Bearsy isn't used to female company, he can't help it!

 

PS. Seriously, guys get intimidated by legs?! F*ck me. No wonder girls are confused.

 

When they're hairier than mine, yes.

[Coxford_lou]

When they're hairier than mine, yes.

 

Oh dear. I think this advice column has gone as far as it can do. It has been most helpful though - thanks everyone!! Now I (and my friends) know that we need to dress as Plain Jane as possible at all times (who knew there would be so many advocates of Laura Ashley on a football forum!) Thanks for that advice guys, it's been a revelation!

 

I've got a new guy advice question for you in the morning. It will be a good one!

Edited 24 February, 2015 by Coxford_lou

[Coxford_lou]

jb pls, be srs

 

brs, fcoff pls

 

Edit: joke of course!

Edited 24 February, 2015 by Coxford_lou
I don't want to upset Bear. Tho me and him could fall out!!!!,

[Bucks Saint]

Oh dear. I think this advice column has gone as far as it can do. It has been most helpful though - thanks everyone!! Now I (and my friends) know that we need to dress as Plain Jane as possible at all times (who knew there would be so many advocates of Laura Ashley on a football forum!) Thanks for that advice guys, it's been a revelation!

 

I've got a new guy advice question for you in the morning. It will be a good one!

 

Does not have to be Laura A. Could easily be Reiss, Coast, Hobbs or anyone else not quite as chintsy as Laura. But aside from that, got to agree with most of the reasonable replies on here, if its a relationship you want, keep it simple, smart, classy and definitely good footwear.

[Coxford_lou]

Does not have to be Laura A. Could easily be Reiss, Coast, Hobbs or anyone else not quite as chintsy as Laura. But aside from that, got to agree with most of the reasonable replies on here, if its a relationship you want, keep it simple, smart, classy and definitely good footwear.

 

Bucks, such fashion knowledge - I didn't expect that! Most impressive.

 

Although Coast and Hobbs = But Reiss is OK, though I'm pretty sure they do short skirts too.

 

I think we need more definition on the footwear though. Are we talking heels? I do like a good killer heel. But does that scare guys off too? Should (my friends) wear flats and play safe?

 

But sounds like we're pretty much talking Kate Middleton dress sense is most men's aspiration.

[Bucks Saint]

Ha was avoiding mega expensive outlets, though Reiss is pretty £££ I confess. Heels are a winner with any less hot outfit. Or boots (only coz its chilly )

[Jonnyboy]

Oh cripes Jonnyboy, if I were to go out with someone on here, I'd hardly be discussing their shaking hands, would I? That would be cruel! Bearsy isn't used to female company, he can't help it!

 

PS. Seriously, guys get intimidated by legs?! F*ck me. No wonder girls are confused.

 

Sorry, what I meant was the whole package, so short skirt, low top, heels and make up all at once would be too much. One, or maybe two, of those would be acceptable.

[Coxford_lou]

Ha was avoiding mega expensive outlets, though Reiss is pretty £££ I confess. Heels are a winner with any less hot outfit. Or boots (only coz its chilly )

 

I'm just shocked you're speaking the lingo. Someone at some point in your life, trained you well.

[ericofarabia]

What's with all the Laura Ashley stuff? Is this 1st date meant to be some form of "Window Shopping" ... because that's what you'll get meeting someone dressed as a set of curtains!!

 

Give me a casual, yet sultry Hippy / Indie look anyday, whereby the lady can stamp her own personality on how she is dressed, not be a Brand Name coat hanger

 

Accessories like belts, chunky jewellery and even hair clip/band can really make a difference too. "Cool chic" rather than hot or plain!!

 

Come on Bucks, don't think $$$$$'s .... the Mrs will spot a bargain at a reduced price, buy 5 items because they were on offer, (once you've got the dress you HAVE to get the matching handbag, shoes and belt etc)

and boast about how much money she has saved YOU .... how she ended up buying clothes when she went out for a pint of milk is not open to discussion though

[CB Saint]

Oh cripes Jonnyboy, if I were to go out with someone on here, I'd hardly be discussing their shaking hands, would I? That would be cruel! Bearsy isn't used to female company, he can't help it!

 

PS. Seriously, guys get intimidated by legs?! F*ck me. No wonder girls are confused.

 

I thought you said this was not a one night stand. Make your mind up!!

[farawaysaint]

What's with all the Laura Ashley stuff? Is this 1st date meant to be some form of "Window Shopping" ... because that's what you'll get meeting someone dressed as a set of curtains!!

 

Give me a casual, yet sultry Hippy / Indie look anyday, whereby the lady can stamp her own personality on how she is dressed, not be a Brand Name coat hanger

 

Accessories like belts, chunky jewellery and even hair clip/band can really make a difference too. "Cool chic" rather than hot or plain!!

 

Come on Bucks, don't think $$$$$'s .... the Mrs will spot a bargain at a reduced price, buy 5 items because they were on offer, (once you've got the dress you HAVE to get the matching handbag, shoes and belt etc)

and boast about how much money she has saved YOU .... how she ended up buying clothes when she went out for a pint of milk is not open to discussion though

 

I always read your username as erico farabia and imagine a swarthy latino.

[sussexsaint]

Short skirt please. My wife wore one to our first date and I was besotted from the get go. Classy and sexy at the same time.

 

Not a funny answer but an answer

[Big Bad Bob]

Short skirt, black tights/stocking and knee high boots

[Halo Stickman]

Lou, to answer your original question, from what I can remember, I think I used to prefer my first dates to air on the side of sobriety and leave a little bit covered up, to be interpreted by my imagination.

 

But I, too, have a question: if a woman, such as yourself, notices a man staring at her breasts, or whatever, is she flattered, offended, spooked or something else. If this depends on how long the stare lasts, then it would be very helpful to know what length of time is acceptable. I'm not looking for a precise time, you can round it up or down to the nearest 10 minutes if you like.

[pap]

Lou, to answer your original question, from what I can remember, I think I used to prefer my first dates to air on the side of sobriety and leave a little bit covered up, to be interpreted by my imagination.

 

But I, too, have a question: if a woman, such as yourself, notices a man staring at her breasts, or whatever, is she flattered, offended, spooked or something else. If this depends on how long the stare lasts, then it would be very helpful to know what length of time is acceptable. I'm not looking for a precise time, you can round it up or down to the nearest 10 minutes if you like.

 

 

I know loads of women that complain about men talking to them but maintaining bap contact instead of eye contact.

[Halo Stickman]

 

I know loads of women that complain about men talking to them but maintaining bap contact instead of eye contact.

 

Aye, Pap, but in defence of us shorter chaps, craning necks can be very tiring.

[Big Bad Bob]

 

I know loads of women that complain about men talking to them but maintaining bap contact instead of eye contact.

 

It's one thing I'm very conscious of when talking to women, I make such an effort to maintain eye contact at all time..just take a sneaky peek when their attention is drawn elsewhere.

Edited 25 February, 2015 by Big Bad Bob

[Goatboy]

Bucks, such fashion knowledge - I didn't expect that! Most impressive.

 

Although Coast and Hobbs = But Reiss is OK, though I'm pretty sure they do short skirts too.

 

I think we need more definition on the footwear though. Are we talking heels? I do like a good killer heel. But does that scare guys off too? Should (my friends) wear flats and play safe?

 

But sounds like we're pretty much talking Kate Middleton dress sense is most men's aspiration.

 

Amything but those porn heels please lou. They look ridiculous. Chest waders and leather bra, fine.

[PompeyLass]

Lou, to answer your original question, from what I can remember, I think I used to prefer my first dates to air on the side of sobriety and leave a little bit covered up, to be interpreted by my imagination.

 

But I, too, have a question: if a woman, such as yourself, notices a man staring at her breasts, or whatever, is she flattered, offended, spooked or something else. If this depends on how long the stare lasts, then it would be very helpful to know what length of time is acceptable. I'm not looking for a precise time, you can round it up or down to the nearest 10 minutes if you like.

 

As a lady who was blessed in the chest department I find each situation different however we have one particular engineer where I work that whenever he comes in he always talks to my chest and I constantly tell him to look up, I find that creepy as he's a bit odd.

[Halo Stickman]

It's one thing I'm very conscious of when talking to women, I make such an effort to maintain eye contact at all time..juts take a sneaky peek when there attention is drawn elsewhere.

 

Know what you mean, Bob.

 

I wasn't aware that I was doing it so blatantly until one day, when I was quite a young chap, I walked into the secretarial bay at work and the girls, in synchronicity, held up cards to obscure their chests.

 

Fortunately, we all had a good laugh about it, but it certainly drove home the message that I needed to do my ogling a little more discreetly in future.