Bearsy Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 I know, I couldn't believe it either! It has always been tokyos stance that straight sex is "homophobic" and should be outlawed from modern, enlightened society. Anyway, he has promised to produce evidence in April, and in meantime has authorised baby contest. What you have to do is guess baby weight and suggest name. Whichever baby weight is correct baby weight, tokyos is legally obliged to use that name for name of baby. Informations that will be useful: 1) We don't know yet how sexy baby will be, ultrasound is not sufficient definition to 100% identify genetic tokyo-saint micro-penis. Could be Boyby. Could be Girlby. Or some disturbing combination of the two, like its Dad. 2) Baby genuine surname will be McCoist or McCunt or something like that. I will check on this. Discussion is encouraged. I'm going out now tho, so talk amongst urselfs. Edit: McCall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint_Abroad Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 Name: Me-steak Weight: 1.5, maybe 2 cart load. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 Name: reject for a boy, answer for a girl Weight: 7lb 2 oz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 Based solely on what you have told us, Bear, it is my understanding that: 1) the New Nippon Nipper will be part Jap and part Jock (allegedly). 2) certain important parts of the alleged father’s anatomy are very tiny. 3) there is some ambiguity as regards to the alleged father’s sex. Therefore, my name suggestion is Wee Jimmy Bonsai Krankie. My guess is that the bairn will weigh about the same as a baby hamster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 I was so expecting to open this and read some filth, or view some disturbing images, but it's a lovely baby story. Congrats Tokyo! I became an Auntie for the first time last week - I love babies Ronald for a boy Katarina for a girl 7lb 5oz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 Bear isn't giving the full information, he knows more but wants to keep it a secret to do insider trading and win the prize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 Chung Mcstrachan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lets B Avenue Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 Fu ck All McCall. 6lb 13oz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 Keiko Scott M.D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 15 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 15 January, 2015 I was so expecting to open this and read some filth, or view some disturbing images And yet still you clicked in, which is v.illustrative of the base depravity of the coxford mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 15 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 15 January, 2015 Bear isn't giving the full information, he knows more but wants to keep it a secret to do insider trading and win the prize. Yeah I do know certain secret details bout this! Consequently my name suggestion is "Doggystyle" & weight 6lb 9oz pls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 15 January, 2015 Share Posted 15 January, 2015 7lb 3oz Name - Who's moist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 15 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 15 January, 2015 24lb 7oz Sumo McCall or McDonalds McCall either name for jumbo baby pls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 I told you, bear has inside info. He wants to win and then call it some ridiculous novelty name like Brian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 And yet still you clicked in, which is v.illustrative of the base depravity of the coxford mind! Totally! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Totally! Totally Tokes has got a nice ring to it – although probably best to wait for the results of the paternity tests. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Mike Harding wrote a beautiful poem about the joys of having a new addition to the family. Go on, have a baby If you really must Babies are better than rabies But only just Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussexsaint Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Dr Suess wrote a lovely poem about baby names as well Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave Had twenty-three sons and she named them all Dave? Well, she did. And that wasn't a smart thing to do. You see, when she wants one and calls out, "Yoo-Hoo! Come into the house, Dave!" she doesn't get one. All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run! This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves' As you can imagine, with so many Daves. And often she wishes that, when they were born, She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm. And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim. And one of them Shadrack. And one of them Blinkey. And one of them Stuffy. And one of them Stinkey. Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face. Another one Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face. And one of them Ziggy. And one Soggy Muff. One Buffalo Bill. And one Biffalo Buff. And one of them Sneepy. And one Weepy Weed. And one Paris Garters. And one Harris Tweed. And one of them Sir Michael Carmichael Zutt And one of them Oliver Boliver Butt And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate ... But she didn't do it. And now it's too late. Soggy Muff makes me laugh every time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 How coincidental that this news is announced just as The Desert Swing gets rolling on the European Tour. Always thought that Tokes had to be one of the oldest Swingers in town and now it seems he's been caught out. Being Caught out? Well, with the ICC Cricket World Cup coming up, that opens so many opportunities for names, trouble is I really can't afflict the potential name choices, Mitchell Tokyo McCall, Hussey Mc Tokes, Jos Moin Mc Grass. Nope, think we have to look towards Scabi Dabi and the HSBC for inspiration. Rory Mc Paternity may one day be used by someone else, so that's a nogo, if Football is a planned career then Fowler McRoasting would be a good choice. Actually as the Brat is currently a Himmher and may be challenged in the Stature stakes then maybe Charl is a good start after the Yarpie midget. That would allow the use of a double love in - Charl Lee for a boy and Charlie for a girl (Obviously the girl wouldn't be named after a golfer, more an obnoxious Scottish midget footballer Nicholas to keep the ethnic roots intact) No, knowing his penchant for walking in the country with his Dogs, his deep love of golf and his penchant for the occassional Asian Tour I have to go for Aphibarnrat McDogging as the name choice and weighing in at 8lb3oz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 It was a dark stormy night when the future Mrs Stickman broke the rather horrifying news that she was carrying Baby Stickman. I did what any self-respecting bloke would do faced with that situation – headed straight for the pub. As fate would have it, cutting a forlorn picture up at the bar was a chap called Clive – he was the only one of my mates who actually had experience of parenthood. Being careful not to give too much away, I waited for an opportune moment before casually asking him whether being a father had changed his life. He looked up from his beer with the countenance of a madman and replied: ‘Change it? It hasn’t changed it – it’s f*cking well ended it!’ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 I refuse to beleive these rumours until somebody provides a Link from either The Metro, The Daily Mail or The Daily Star. Only then can it be considered FACT. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutch Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 I told you, bear has inside info. He wants to win and then call it some ridiculous novelty name like Brian. Yeah, but what if it's a boy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Point of order, bear. The term is bitch, not girl. On that basis, Fido / Lassie (m/f). Or, on the wreckless assumption that Toke has found a human female that was comfortable allowing his special seed to fertilise her eggs, and assuming 'we' have a boy, I'd vote for the forenames of David and Weener. This is for no other reason than my Grandson would then be known a Dave Weener McCall. As for weight, well if we have a grandson, I'd pitch for 2980 grams and 2910 grams if we have a granddaughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Nice one Tokes. Methinks baby will be £10 5oz but will do big dump over mother straight away and go down to £9 8oz. Name? Thor. (As in "I hit mythelf in the tethticles and they theel very Thor.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Point of order, bear. The term is bitch, not girl. On that basis, Fido / Lassie (m/f). Never too soon to start buying some appropriate outfits for the impending arrival. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 n, I'd pitch for 2980 grams and 2910 grams if we have a granddaughter. Can you be more precise plse dad? Name? Thor. (As in "I hit mythelf in the tethticles and they theel very Thor.) Best name so far. I am hoping for £10 5oz baby, not sure my mrs is though. That's big isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lets B Avenue Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Can you be more precise plse dad? Best name so far. I am hoping for £10 5oz baby, not sure my mrs is though. That's big isn't it? I don't know about "big" but it looks quite expensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 16 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 16 January, 2015 I am hoping for £10 5oz baby, not sure my mrs is though. That's big isn't it? I remember when i was born, well I don't, but I remember what I've been told, and when the doctors first saw me they thought I was gonna be a v.small baby, maybe only 4 or 5 pounds, but then it turned out that I was just coming out penis first and i was actually MASSIVE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 16 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 16 January, 2015 On that basis, Fido / Lassie (m/f). You can't tell me that tokyos has never fucked one of his dogs. I know that's not what ur telling me, you're telling me the opposite, but I'm just putting out there. At some point, maybe when drunk or whatever, tokyos knobbed one of his dogs. You can see how this would happen, he admitted to me yesterday that they sleep in his bed, and i know for fact that if anything is sleeping in my bed, then it's gonna get fucked, sooner or later. Is inevitable. Maybe we can have poll just to make sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Can you be more precise plse dad? Best name so far. I am hoping for £10 5oz baby, not sure my mrs is though. That's big isn't it? I was 10lb 3oz. My mum still moans about it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 You can't tell me that tokyos has never fucked one of his dogs. I know that's not what ur telling me, you're telling me the opposite, but I'm just putting out there. At some point, maybe when drunk or whatever, tokyos knobbed one of his dogs. You can see how this would happen, he admitted to me yesterday that they sleep in his bed, and i know for fact that if anything is sleeping in my bed, then it's gonna get fucked, sooner or later. Is inevitable. Maybe we can have poll just to make sure. Dunno Bear, I can't swear for certain, but when I look into the eyes of my other grandkids from Toke's previous 'relations', there's something, I don't know, not quite right about them. Know what I mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 I was 10lb 3oz. My mum still moans about it now. By 'moans', you mean 'complains', right, BTT? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 I was 10lb 3oz. My mum still moans about it now. How did you dad speak about it... you know 'after'..... asking for a friend who has an interest in sausages and alleyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 You can't tell me that tokyos has never fucked one of his dogs. I know that's not what ur telling me, you're telling me the opposite, but I'm just putting out there. At some point, maybe when drunk or whatever, tokyos knobbed one of his dogs. You can see how this would happen, he admitted to me yesterday that they sleep in his bed, and i know for fact that if anything is sleeping in my bed, then it's gonna get fucked, sooner or later. Is inevitable. Maybe we can have poll just to make sure. What about if they've got a headache? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 16 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 16 January, 2015 My beloved moans: in pleasure, in anticipation, and in criticism of the way I drink straight from the milk carton and put it back in the wrong place, why can’t you learn it’s like you’re not even listening, and that’s another thing… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 You can't tell me that tokyos has never fucked one of his dogs. I know that's not what ur telling me, you're telling me the opposite, but I'm just putting out there. At some point, maybe when drunk or whatever, tokyos knobbed one of his dogs. You can see how this would happen, he admitted to me yesterday that they sleep in his bed, and i know for fact that if anything is sleeping in my bed, then it's gonna get fucked, sooner or later. Is inevitable. Please never have kids! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 16 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 16 January, 2015 I know ur joking jb but is serious question actually, are bros on The Register, like tokyos, even allowed to have kids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 I think the bible and baby Jesus is perfectly clear on this bear, Galatians 6:7: You reap what you sow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 16 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 16 January, 2015 oh ok if bj is ok with it, then i have no problem. What does he say bout dogs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 A dog is a man’s best friend, Alsatians 4 chaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 oh ok if bj is ok with it, then i have no problem. What does he say bout dogs? If he licks his own balls, he will lick yours. Baby Jesus 7:11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 How did you dad speak about it... you know 'after'..... asking for a friend who has an interest in sausages and alleyways. He never spoke about it. He just drank a lot then left. Most women get a bit of tear during childbirth. You need to slip the doctor a tenner to make sure he stitches up nice and tight afterwards. Its better if your wife asks herself but some of then can be a selfish and indignant if you mention it during delivery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Push, push.... No too hard.... Push, now gently push. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 16 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 16 January, 2015 You need to slip the doctor a tenner to make sure he stitches up nice and tight afterwards. slip doc a monkey & they'll go c-cut. Worth the investment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 You can't tell me that tokyos has never fucked one of his dogs. I know that's not what ur telling me, you're telling me the opposite, but I'm just putting out there. At some point, maybe when drunk or whatever, tokyos knobbed one of his dogs. You can see how this would happen, he admitted to me yesterday that they sleep in his bed, and i know for fact that if anything is sleeping in my bed, then it's gonna get fucked, sooner or later. Is inevitable. Maybe we can have poll just to make sure. Lenny Henry? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 He never spoke about it. He just drank a lot then left. Most women get a bit of tear during childbirth. You need to slip the doctor a tenner to make sure he stitches up nice and tight afterwards. Its better if your wife asks herself but some of then can be a selfish and indignant if you mention it during delivery. Oh my god. How did we get onto this topic??!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coxford_lou Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 You can't tell me that tokyos has never fucked one of his dogs. I know that's not what ur telling me, you're telling me the opposite, but I'm just putting out there. At some point, maybe when drunk or whatever, tokyos knobbed one of his dogs. You can see how this would happen, he admitted to me yesterday that they sleep in his bed, and i know for fact that if anything is sleeping in my bed, then it's gonna get fucked, sooner or later. Is inevitable. Maybe we can have poll just to make sure. I thought we were talking about nice babies?? What happened?!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 Tokes. Take my advice and don't go anywhere near the business end during childbirth. Mop her brow, hold her hand whatever. Just don't venture downstairs. Of course if you had followed this advice earlier you wouldn't be in this situation now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 16 January, 2015 Author Share Posted 16 January, 2015 (edited) I thought we were talking about nice babies?? What happened?!! You wanna talk bout babies, we can talk bout babies! What is ur favourite babies? I like: 1. Cambridge 2. Jesus 3. Jelly 4. Spice 5. Mini bel Edit: Just realised i forgot Oil Would anyone mind if i slip it in? Edited 16 January, 2015 by Bearsy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goatboy Posted 16 January, 2015 Share Posted 16 January, 2015 http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dead-Babies-Martin-Amis/dp/0099437333 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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