NOMINATIONS for 2014 TMS Awards

[Coxford_lou]

OK, I don't want to influence the vote in any way #votebletch, but seeing as some people haven't seen the CB Fry / Bletch love-in....

 

Start here and read forward...

 

http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?51659-September-One-Judgement-Day&p=2047396#post2047396

 

 

A bit gutted this was a serious post about serious football. You sold it to us as flirting!

[Spudders]

Fallen Comrade

 

Toke, Spudder, Ottery x 2, Barry

 

I vote spudders for this one, I miss him (wherever he is now!)

[saintbletch]

A bit gutted this was a serious post about serious football. You sold it to us as flirting!

 

Listen, Four Cox Dol, when you've got 2 alpha-males like CB Fry and me, strutting and rutting on public display, what you saw on that thread WAS flirting.

 

With our reputations, we can't just stroll into a thread and say "Look at me boys, I'm a female in TMS, oh stop it Plastic. That's right keep talking about me. Oh Plastic, stop it. Did everyone see me and Plastic? Stop it, Plastic! I feel bad about how I treated Plastic. Did everyone see me and Plastic"

 

Get a room!

 

No, we've got to maintain a mask of masturbartory machismo. After that thread, CB Fry "asked me out" in a PM and we've been "going steady" ever since.

 

By the way, how did you get the name Four Cox Dol?

 

It is was after a film you starred in? If so, I think I might be familiar with your work.

[pap]

[dabbing eyes gently with man-size Kleenex]

 

Halo, whilst I'm with you you'll never be cheap or remorseful, the dirty bit I can't do anything about I'm afraid. It's biological.

 

You're my favourite.

 

 

 

Damned with faint praise. Never heard of me? Ouch, you cut me to the quick.

 

BTF = Bridge too far.

 

You're my favourite.

 

 

 

And just to fire a .44 Magum into the face of this bus analogy...you're the conductor papster...

 

And finally, to borrow from the great Bruce Forsyth...You're my favourite.

 

-+-

 

Merry Xmas one and all.

 

May you start the day with a full sack, and end it with an empty one.

 

I can see what you're trying to do here, bletch. It's cute. Say the same thing to three different people and hey presto, a conflict that can't be easily be resolved. You might say it's your favourite three-way paradox.

 

Programmers know better though.

 

Expressed as a bit of code, particularly variable assignment, and it looks like this.

 

var myFavourite = "Halo";

 

myFavourite = "bridge too far";

myFavourite = "pap";

 

I think we all know who your favourite ended up being

[Coxford_lou]

Listen, Four Cox Dol, when you've got 2 alpha-males like CB Fry and me, strutting and rutting on public display, what you saw on that thread WAS flirting.

 

With our reputations, we can't just stroll into a thread and say "Look at me boys, I'm a female in TMS, oh stop it Plastic. That's right keep talking about me. Oh Plastic, stop it. Did everyone see me and Plastic? Stop it, Plastic! I feel bad about how I treated Plastic. Did everyone see me and Plastic"

 

Get a room!

 

No, we've got to maintain a mask of masturbartory machismo. After that thread, CB Fry "asked me out" in a PM and we've been "going steady" ever since.

 

By the way, how did you get the name Four Cox Dol?

 

It is was after a film you starred in? If so, I think I might be familiar with your work.

 

You've just accused me of being a porn star?? I'm officially a bit scared of you now Bletch.

[Tokyo-Saint]

That's one in the eye from bletch.

[Plastic]

Yes word cloud thing for bletch. Don't know what category it fits into but man deserves a sherry for that.

[Goatboy]

How do you get this mirror thing to work Can I get it on my phone?Imeanttoquotesoomeonebandfailedbutknnowthemoments'sgone.oooppps.

Edited 27 December, 2014 by Goatboy
3rdbottle

[saintbletch]

You've just accused me of being a porn star?? I'm officially a bit scared of you now Bletch.

 

I still don't see a denial there Lou.

 

That's one in the eye from bletch.

 

You choose your orifice, and I'll choose mine thank you very much Tokyo-Saint.

 

Yes word cloud thing for bletch. Don't know what category it fits into but man deserves a sherry for that.

 

Thanks for the Sherry, Splatic. But to be honest I've always been more of a Massandra 1775 man, than a fan of the cream of Bristol.

 

How do you get this mirror thing to work Can I get it on my phone?Imeanttoquotesoomeonebandfailedbutknnowthemoments'sgone.oooppps.

 

So, what you do Gay Boot, is hold the mirror between your feet; making sure you don't topple off the toilet, then you get both a clear view and the use of both hands.

Edited 28 December, 2014 by saintbletch
Premature elucidation

[Plastic]

I still don't see a denial there Lou

 

Being a porn star is all very well, but if she wants to bag a husband she'll need to learn how to cook a roast dinner.

Preferably needs to be ready for when he gets home from the game.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

I've been nominated for loki? Really? Feel that's a bit harsh.

 

Shame Bearsy's not doing it again this year, he's just far funnier than Bletch...think I'll be missing the awards ceremony this year.

[Turkish]

Surely thread of the year is crab lungs excellent 'the mess we're in" which gets better every week.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Surely thread of the year is crab lungs excellent 'the mess we're in" which gets better every week.

 

I think that's thread of the century so is inelligible for this award as well.

[Coxford_lou]

Surely thread of the year is crab lungs excellent 'the mess we're in" which gets better every week.

 

Turkish, you definitely deserve an award for being the most predictable person on this forum. I can't believe you brought that Mane thread up after today's result.... I thought you might, but I still couldn't believe it when you actually did it. It was part: http://youtu.be/VGb9XB_LsKY and part: http://youtu.be/xVt8_0_2hww

 

Bletch, any last chance of putting a last minute new category for most predictable poster? It could be the most hotly contested...

Edited 28 December, 2014 by Coxford_lou

[Turkish]

Turkish, you definitely deserve an award for being the most predictable person on this forum. I can't believe you brought that Mane thread up after today's result.... I thought you might, but I still couldn't believe it when you actually did it. It was part: http://youtu.be/VGb9XB_LsKY and part: http://youtu.be/xVt8_0_2hww

 

Bletch, any last chance of putting a last minute new category for most predictable poster? It could be the most hotly contested...

 

Are you and sue whistle going to fight it out for the geezer bird of the year award?

[Coxford_lou]

Are you and sue whistle going to fight it out for the geezer bird of the year award?

 

And we have a winner! You get my vote. I'm in awe.

[Whitey Grandad]

Are you and sue whistle going to fight it out for the geezer bird of the year award?

 

Can I watch?

[Coxford_lou]

Can I watch?

 

Grandad, you'd have a heart attack. Take yer dentures out, and go to bed.

[Turkish]

Grandad, you'd have a heart attack. Take yer dentures out, and go to bed.

 

I like you.

[Coxford_lou]

I like you.

 

Ah, disarming tactics. You don't fool me that easy Turkish!

[saintbletch]

I've been nominated for loki? Really? Feel that's a bit harsh.

 

Shame Bearsy's not doing it again this year, he's just far funnier than Bletch...think I'll be missing the awards ceremony this year.

 

I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just a jealous guy.

 

The people have spoken, Sarb.

 

You think you've got problem. I've put all this effort in, only to find I'm less popular than you!

 

No offence. Well, a little. But, my point stands.

 

Surely thread of the year is crab lungs excellent 'the mess we're in" which gets better every week.

 

Unfortunately, the nominations closed on Boxing Day.

 

The problem is that as the votes have 'literally' poured in (11 of them), it would be Blatteresque for me to change the voting process now.

 

Sorry, Turks. But, you can still lodge your vote here.

 

P.S. Help DPS to rid himself of his Xmas hubris, by voting for him in the "have drive, have car, lack the spatial awareness to combine the two" category.

 

Bletch, any last chance of putting a last minute new category for most predictable poster? It could be the most hotly contested...

 

I knew you were going to ask for that, lou.

[Whitey Grandad]

Grandad, you'd have a heart attack. Take yer dentures out, and go to bed.

 

Thanks, but I've already had one, two years ago. Watching is about all that's left to me now

 

And another thing... All my teeth are my own. I paid enough for them.

[Coxford_lou]

Thanks, but I've already had one, two years ago. Watching is about all that's left to me now

 

And another thing... All my teeth are my own. I paid enough for them.

 

Aw, Whitey. Now I feel bad. If it were in my power to let you watch, I really would, you know.

[Coxford_lou]

 

I knew you were going to ask for that, lou.

 

Funny.

[Whitey Grandad]

Aw, Whitey. Now I feel bad. If it were in my power to let you watch, I really would, you know.

 

Thanks.

 

I'll be very quiet. I promise.

[Coxford_lou]

Thanks.

 

I'll be very quiet. I promise.

 

Eww...?

[Unbelievable Jeff]

I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just a jealous guy.

 

The people have spoken, Sarb.

 

You think you've got problem. I've put all this effort in, only to find I'm less popular than you!

 

No offence. Well, a little. But, my point stands.

 

 

 

Unfortunately, the nominations closed on Boxing Day.

 

The problem is that as the votes have 'literally' poured in (11 of them), it would be Blatteresque for me to change the voting process now.

 

Sorry, Turks. But, you can still lodge your vote here.

 

P.S. Help DPS to rid himself of his Xmas hubris, by voting for him in the "have drive, have car, lack the spatial awareness to combine the two" category.

 

 

 

I knew you were going to ask for that, lou.

 

Do you know what Bletch, go fück yourself. You write with an authority which goes way over your lowly status on this shiťty little forum, talking utter crap and trying to be funny (ask Bearsy or even Tokes for some lessons), and then start talking shiť about a situation you don't understand. It's got nothing to do with 'spatial' awareness. If you want I'll PM you and you can come down and try it if you're the big man. If not, then shut your fuçking mouth you jumped up little príck.

[Halo Stickman]

Do you know what Bletch, go fück yourself. You write with an authority which goes way over your lowly status on this shiťty little forum, talking utter crap and trying to be funny (ask Bearsy or even Tokes for some lessons), and then start talking shiť about a situation you don't understand. It's got nothing to do with 'spatial' awareness. If you want I'll PM you and you can come down and try it if you're the big man. If not, then shut your fuçking mouth you jumped up little príck.

 

Jeff, as far as I’m aware, one of the main functions of TMS is to post utter crap and rip the piss – don’t take it so seriously, mate.

 

Bletch does sterling work on here, imo.

[Fowllyd]

Do you know what Bletch, go fück yourself. You write with an authority which goes way over your lowly status on this shiťty little forum, talking utter crap and trying to be funny (ask Bearsy or even Tokes for some lessons), and then start talking shiť about a situation you don't understand. It's got nothing to do with 'spatial' awareness. If you want I'll PM you and you can come down and try it if you're the big man. If not, then shut your fuçking mouth you jumped up little príck.

 

Jeff, as far as I’m aware, one of the main functions of TMS is to post utter crap and rip the piss – don’t take it so seriously, mate.

 

Bletch does sterling work on here, imo.

 

Was there a 'Post of the year' category in the awards? If not, there should be and I reckon Jeff's clinched the prize.

[saintbletch]

Do you know what Bletch, go fück yourself. You write with an authority which goes way over your lowly status on this shiťty little forum, talking utter crap and trying to be funny (ask Bearsy or even Tokes for some lessons), and then start talking shiť about a situation you don't understand. It's got nothing to do with 'spatial' awareness. If you want I'll PM you and you can come down and try it if you're the big man. If not, then shut your fuçking mouth you jumped up little príck.

 

You've only typed what everyone's been thinking for years - including Mrs Bletch, so don't be too hard on yourself when you look back in a few days and think that you might have suffered a post-Xmas, hyper-hubris moment.

 

I deserve most of that.

 

The thing I do take exception to, is the use of the term 'little'. If I'm a prick, then I'm a big prick, or a complete prick, or a total prick. Little is harsh.

 

Oh, and I also take exception to the fact that Toke is funnier than me. Humour is subjective I know, but that news has hit me hard. Perhaps I'll just have to try to deal with the fact that someone on an Internet forum thinks I'm unfunny. I'll work on that.

 

If I offended you, that wasn't my intention. I was aiming for banter.

 

So, if you'd like me to edit my post to remove mention of you, I'd be happy to (you might also have to edit your quote too, and contact a few others that have now quoted it).

 

Just let me know.

 

Anything else?

 

Oh, yes, I can't comply with the **** myself bit either. For shame I can't think of an orifice that I might reach. I always wished that I'd been blessed with a more flexible spine - in lieu of those critical extra millimetres (well, who am I kidding - I'm a few yards short if I'm honest).

 

Oh, and for the record I never nominated you for Loki either. 2 out of the 7 people that nominated did. That's ~28% of people (who expressed a preference) that felt you needed to appear on the voting form.

 

Finally, I feel like I'm treading on eggshells here, but I do feel I should mention it. Google self-deprecation, it's the sort of trait that means you can post on an Internet forum without falling out with people (too often).

 

x

 

I've, just re-read that. My God, I am a complete arse aren't I.

[Whitey Grandad]

Do you know what Bletch, go fück yourself. You write with an authority which goes way over your lowly status on this shiťty little forum, talking utter crap and trying to be funny (ask Bearsy or even Tokes for some lessons), and then start talking shiť about a situation you don't understand. It's got nothing to do with 'spatial' awareness. If you want I'll PM you and you can come down and try it if you're the big man. If not, then shut your fuçking mouth you jumped up little príck.

 

Have you been eating too many blue Smarties Jeff?

[Coxford_lou]

 

I deserve most of that.

 

Blimey. Poor Bletch, putting in a lot of effort and not getting much in return for it. FWIW I'm a fan - don't let those saddos beat you down!

 

I voted on this thing a couple of years ago when it was posted on the main forum. Otherwise I wouldn't have even known about it. Are you allowed to do that again, or is it frowned upon?

[Bearsy]

It was the same last year! The poor bro that administered the awards last year came in for all sorts of abuse! People was calling him Price Pikey cos he wouldn't pay 200 dollars to obtain the full classified results even tho it is matter of forum record that he is not a Price Pikey! And also people was blaming him that they was not nominated for MVP, and not looking at themselves & their own dumb posting history!

 

Mostly I blame tokyos for ruin this year awards tho! Cos of his weaselling match-fixing last year, beltch has had to instigate these rigorous security protocols so that you need CIA clearance or whatever in order to vote! Blame tokyos, yo!

[Coxford_lou]

Serious question - I've always assumed Tokyo and Bearsy are the same person as you write with the same tone of voice, and often respond to each other. Is this true?

[Bearsy]

NOOOOOOO!

 

FYI u can tell us apart because tokyos posts tend to be more homosex. If we're same it's cos we're like batman & robin (i'm batman) or like michael knight & kit (I'm michael knight) or like Johnny Vegas + monkey (tokyos is vegas cos he fists monkeys fo real) or like orville + dean (I'm erm whichever one is dude. Dean i spose, orville is bird)

[Bearsy]

pls respond to this post asap tokyos

[Coxford_lou]

NOOOOOOO!

 

FYI u can tell us apart because tokyos posts tend to be more homosex. If we're same it's cos we're like batman & robin (i'm batman) or like michael knight & kit (I'm michael knight) or like Johnny Vegas + monkey (tokyos is vegas cos he fists monkeys fo real) or like orville + dean (I'm erm whichever one is dude. Dean i spose, orville is bird)

 

Or the Paul Whitehouse character with his butler in the Aviva ads?

 

http://youtu.be/XAt-4iVmexI

 

I'll be reading your posts in a different light now.

[saintbletch]

Blimey. Poor Bletch, putting in a lot of effort and not getting much in return for it. FWIW I'm a fan - don't let those saddos beat you down!

 

I voted on this thing a couple of years ago when it was posted on the main forum. Otherwise I wouldn't have even known about it. Are you allowed to do that again, or is it frowned upon?

 

You are such a tart, lou. You didn't even know who I was two days ago (I'm over it, didn't give it a second thought actually. *****.).

 

Jeff, as far as I’m aware, one of the main functions of TMS is to post utter crap and rip the piss – don’t take it so seriously, mate.

 

Bletch does sterling work on here, imo.

 

Was there a 'Post of the year' category in the awards? If not, there should be and I reckon Jeff's clinched the prize.

 

Have you been eating too many blue Smarties Jeff?

 

Oh yeah. Thanks lads.

 

Words of 'support' after I've been near mauled to death by a forum Loki nominee are all well and good, but I would have much preferred an X next to my name on the voting form, so that I could beat that unfunny, ursine un-Muppet Bearsy.

 

It was the same last year! The poor bro that administered the awards last year came in for all sorts of abuse! People was calling him Price Pikey cos he wouldn't pay 200 dollars to obtain the full classified results even tho it is matter of forum record that he is not a Price Pikey! And also people was blaming him that they was not nominated for MVP, and not looking at themselves & their own dumb posting history!

 

Mostly I blame tokyos for ruin this year awards tho! Cos of his weaselling match-fixing last year, beltch has had to instigate these rigorous security protocols so that you need CIA clearance or whatever in order to vote! Blame tokyos, yo!

 

Alright Bear. I was just talking about you with some of the voters, I mean 'guys' (and lou).

 

You ain't lying re-Toke. He's the real problem.

 

I mean because of him, I've got the voting form locked down tighter than the TSW Curry Cashbox. I've got this image in my mind of the good people of TSW queuing up to elect me "MVP", only to find the voting restrictions are so oppressive, that they don't bother.

 

Instead, all the form no-marks login in and vote for you.

 

Still 15 good men and true have managed to cast their votes. But, I've checked and I'm not completely sure if that is enough to declare the result as statistically significant.

 

If we get more votes (for me) in the next few days, then the results might just stand.

 

BTW, you unintentionally spelt my name a Beltch instead of Bletch.

 

Again.

 

Toke's a ****.

[Coxford_lou]

You are such a tart, lou. You didn't even know who I was two days ago (I'm over it, didn't give it a second thought actually. *****.)

 

Just trying to sound tough in a forum of hard men, Bletch. Secretly, behind the scenes, I've got your back. I just can't admit that in public.

[Goatboy]

Do you know what Bletch, go fück yourself. You write with an authority which goes way over your lowly status on this shiťty little forum, talking utter crap and trying to be funny (ask Bearsy or even Tokes for some lessons), and then start talking shiť about a situation you don't understand. It's got nothing to do with 'spatial' awareness. If you want I'll PM you and you can come down and try it if you're the big man. If not, then shut your fuçking mouth you jumped up little príck.

 

[pap]

Do you know what Bletch, go fück yourself. You write with an authority which goes way over your lowly status on this shiťty little forum, talking utter crap and trying to be funny (ask Bearsy or even Tokes for some lessons), and then start talking shiť about a situation you don't understand. It's got nothing to do with 'spatial' awareness. If you want I'll PM you and you can come down and try it if you're the big man. If not, then shut your fuçking mouth you jumped up little príck.

 

I find this all a bit odd, Unbelievable Jeff.

 

Having met you in person, you did not strike me as the sort of "tasty" geezer that would be in the business of offering people out on Internet forums. I didn't want to shoot from the hip with this one, so I consulted other sources of data. This is an excerpt from the government's EXHAUSTIVE list of threats to the nation. We only really hear about the top ten or so on the news, but these government types are thorough and think of everything. Here's you in the "lethal threats" list. You're quite far down and I've skipped loads of other stuff in the chart, but have included the entries around you so people have the proper context with which to treat your post.

 

....

19800012) Lettuce and walnut sandwich (sliced white bread) thrown at head

19800013) Large scale dodo attack

19800014) Cress

19800015) Unbelievable Jeff

19800016) Lettuce sandwich (sliced white bread) thrown at head

....

 

Could sir explain the chasm between his stated claims and how he is externally perceived in the evidence above?

[Smirking_Saint]

 

Please tell me DPS was messing around there

[Goatboy]

Please tell me DPS was messing around there

 

Maybe one shandy too many?

[Coxford_lou]

I find this all a bit odd, Unbelievable Jeff.

 

Having met you in person, you did not strike me as the sort of "tasty" geezer that would be in the business of offering people out on Internet forums.

 

....

19800012) Lettuce and walnut sandwich (sliced white bread) thrown at head

19800013) Large scale dodo attack

19800014) Cress

19800015) Unbelievable Jeff

19800016) Lettuce sandwich (sliced white bread) thrown at head

 

Wow, less effective than cress. Harsh. I doubt he'll want to meet you in person again.

 

I'm all for a scrap though. I'd come to watch that... Let us know time/place!

Edited 29 December, 2014 by Coxford_lou

[Deano6]

NOOOOOOO!

 

FYI u can tell us apart because tokyos posts tend to be more homosex. If we're same it's cos we're like batman & robin (i'm batman) or like michael knight & kit (I'm michael knight) or like Johnny Vegas + monkey (tokyos is vegas cos he fists monkeys fo real) or like orville + dean (I'm erm whichever one is dude. Dean i spose, orville is bird)

 

Listen fella, I've kept my head down most of this year trying to stay out of the limelight, but if you're gonna start invoking my name and insinuating things about me doing things with birds you can f**k right off mate!

[Tokyo-Saint]

Don't be harsh on sarb, he's just being truthful. Bletch is as tedious as Christmas, its hard enough to sift through the word games on tapitalk normally, think about doing it while being blocked in by the masons playing sex games like Tom Cruiz in that lame ginger porno!

 

How do I vote for sarb as man of the year and bear shoplifting 37p as moment of the year plse bletch?

[PhilippineSaint]

With such a low turnout I should have used the other option and voted for myself. I could have been a contender. Although helping the fuzz with thier enquiries has been benificial this Christmas period as I have grassed up loads of muppets.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Ahem.

 

Bit of a stressful day yesterday, so apologies for the reaction above. It turns out I don't react well to having my parking mocked. It may also be the loki nomination. Not sure.

 

Anyway, apologies to Bletch.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

I find this all a bit odd, Unbelievable Jeff.

 

Having met you in person, you did not strike me as the sort of "tasty" geezer that would be in the business of offering people out on Internet forums. I didn't want to shoot from the hip with this one, so I consulted other sources of data. This is an excerpt from the government's EXHAUSTIVE list of threats to the nation. We only really hear about the top ten or so on the news, but these government types are thorough and think of everything. Here's you in the "lethal threats" list. You're quite far down and I've skipped loads of other stuff in the chart, but have included the entries around you so people have the proper context with which to treat your post.

 

....

19800012) Lettuce and walnut sandwich (sliced white bread) thrown at head

19800013) Large scale dodo attack

19800014) Cress

19800015) Unbelievable Jeff

19800016) Lettuce sandwich (sliced white bread) thrown at head

....

 

Could sir explain the chasm between his stated claims and how he is externally perceived in the evidence above?

 

Alright Pap. I wasn't offering him out, I was offering him the chance to come and do my parking for me...

 

The little girl had been up all night, and i had been out the night befor so was rather hungover and being a little bit precious by the look of things.

[Goatboy]

Ahem.

 

Bit of a stressful day yesterday, so apologies for the reaction above. It turns out I don't react well to having my parking mocked. It may also be the loki nomination. Not sure.

 

Anyway, apologies to Bletch.