What a difference a letter makes!

[Halo Stickman]

I mistook a 'c' for a 'g' and ended up having an underwhelming evening with a cobbler

[Coxford_lou]

I mistook a 'c' for a 'g' and ended up having an underwhelming evening with a cobbler

 

I don't get it... Which reminds me of a joke:

 

How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

.....

 

 

 

 

 

YOU DONT KNOW MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!

[Halo Stickman]

I don't get it... Which reminds me of a joke:

 

How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

.....

 

 

 

 

 

YOU DONT KNOW MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!

 

Are you sure this is better than the post match thread?

[Coxford_lou]

I did say anything was better

[Halo Stickman]

I did say anything was better

 

Well then, you're certainly being true to your word.

 

Trouble is, I'm still feeling the pain of tonight's defeat, so have you got any more Vietnam jokes, or saucy wordplay with interchanging letters?

[Goatboy]

I woke up this morning with a sticky mess all down my front after (m)inge eating all the creamy tarts last night.

[Goatboy]

I woke up this morning with a sticky mess all down my front after (m)inge eating all the creamy tarts last night.

I meant binge.

[Whitey Grandad]

I woke up this morning with a sticky mess all down my front after (m)inge eating all the creamy tarts last night.

 

I thought you meant you were eating mince tarts.

[Halo Stickman]

True story.

 

A female acquaintance of mine – a highly-strung woman at the best of times – became particularly fraught during her pregnancy and convinced herself that somehow her baby would get mixed up with someone else’s at the hospital.

 

The morning after the long night of the birth she woke up to find her baby lying in a cot by the side of her bed. Someone had attached a label to the cot that read “Normal Vertex”, which I understand means ‘normal delivery’ as opposed to ‘caesarean section’.

 

Imagine the meltdown when said acquaintance misread the ‘l’ for a ‘n’ and thought someone had given her Mr and Mrs Vertex’s boy Norman.

[FloridaMarlin]

Whether a letter is a capital or not can also make a big difference.

 

A capital converts the act of reading into a town in Berkshire - Reading.

 

Which is why you have to be careful with a sentence such as: "Tommy worked at the family stables and like to help his uncle Jack off his horse."

[Lorne Malvo]

My car broke down so I went round to Roger the Mechanic.

[Goatboy]

My car broke down so I went round to Roger the Mechanic.

 

Bent round?

[Bearsy]

I mistook a 'c' for a 'g' and ended up having an underwhelming evening with a cobbler

 

Last Christmas my mum forgot to order a turkey and the only thing she had for us to eat was minge It was quite nice, but not v.christmassy

[Bearsy]

omg mince! I meant mince lol ur right c+g is the worst confusion!

[hutch]

I'm sure the bear already knows that Birmingham has just been voted one of the top men cities in the world.

[Bearsy]

hmm i know there's a bletch style homo joke in their somewhere, but i can't find it!

[hutch]

Ten. Ten, I meant ten. I'm sure all the guys in Brum are dead straight.

[Halo Stickman]

hmm i know there's a bletch style homo joke in their somewhere, but i can't find it!

 

Lols, see what you did there, Bear - you meant toke

[Halo Stickman]

Portsea Lil wrote me a note saying she had made her fanny look nice and Christmassy

 

Turned out she meant nanny

[Goatboy]

I like to dig my pole in nice and deep whilst riding a punt on the river.

[Goatboy]

Sorry, that should be dip;)

[suewhistle]

Some of you listen to 'I'm sorry, I haven't a clue', I can tell..

[Halo Stickman]

Some of you listen to 'I'm sorry, I haven't a clue', I can tell..

 

 

Did you mean flue?

 

PS I've never listened to that show, is it any good?

[ecuk268]

Some of you listen to 'I'm sorry, I haven't a clue', I can tell..

 

A few Samantha jokes from the above:

 

“Samantha has to nip out now with her new gentleman friend. Apparently, they've been working on the restoration of an old chest of drawers. Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her."

 

"Before I nip out with Samantha for a time honoured blow on the seafront..”

 

"Samantha tells me it's time to let her whippet out.”

 

"While Samantha nips out to enjoy a mouthful of Jacob's…”

 

"So as Samantha heads off to the Highland games to admire the contestants in the caber competition, and perhaps have a go at tossing one or two herself..."

 

“Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. It's her first day, so apparently she's going to give a speech in the back room and hand jobs out in the office."