Be good to others as you get old

[Saint in Paradise]

An elderly relative (82) of my wife's has been "dumped" in some care home because his

wife (76) didn't want him "under her feet" at home and didn't want to take him with her

when she goes out in their car. She refused an invite to be taken to visit him the other

day because she had the decorators in doing up a couple of rooms. Before that she had

some other reasons as well meaning she has hardly visited him.

The sister of the old chap and 2 others did go and they were there just over 4 hours.

In that time a carer popped in for nearly a minute to give him a few sips of water. No one

else on staff came in and checked up on his bed sores that he has because no-one turns him

over now and then.

I won't post the name of this establishment to protect SaintsWeb as well as myself but it is

in Southern England between Bournemouth and Brighton.

 

So be good to those who will be the ones dumping you in a rest home so that they hopefully

choose a good one and not just a cheap one just so they can get more of your money when you die.

[CHAPEL END CHARLIE]

I guess my family must have been exceptionally fortunate because when my dad became too ill to look after at home during the last month or so of his life the nursing home he ended up at was bloody brilliant - not posh or at all modern - but the staff cared and they did a wonderful job for him. When you are coming towards the end of your life that's all that really matters I suppose. However when he died (very early in the morning) we weren't there in the room with him. I regret that now.

 

My old mum on the other hand we managed to keep at home right up to when she passed away a week ago - as she certainly would have wanted. Her dementia meant she was quite demanding to look after at times and she needed a lot of care, most of which in truth was provided by my brother and a small team of visiting nurses from Poole Hospital - nurses who were again bloody wonderful by the way. At the end she died semi peacefully at home surrounded by all four of her children. Being there at the end watching the person who gave birth to you, the person who loved you more than anyone else in the world ever will, pass away was not a experience I'm ever likely to forget ... but I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

 

So of the two experiences I'd say that keeping your loved ones at home is best as long as your family can cope with that and you have a adequate 'care package' in place to help ease the burden. But I can't say that it's easy and I now know from personal experience that, however much you love someone, that not everyone is really 'cut out' for a 24/7 caring responsibility.

 

 

PS - My apologies if you find the above to be too personal a message to share with complete strangers on a football forum. But please indulge this old fool because he finds that it helps to write stuff down sometimes.