What to do...

[Unbelievable Jeff]

So I've got 3 days left in work before I break for Christmas, and I literally have nothing to do. My manager has gone away, I work in a project environment and dont have time to get anything big started.

 

What I need to do is find something to keep myself going so that I can look busy for a few days.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions?

[trousers]

Saintsweb

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  trousers said:

Saintsweb

 

That's not going to look good if I spend the whole day on the Web.

[Lets B Avenue]

  Unbelievable Jeff said:

That's not going to look good if I spend the whole day on the Web.

 

I thought you already did.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  Lets B Avenue said:

I thought you already did.

 

Very rarely on the Web during the day, and if i am it's on my phone.

[pap]

  Unbelievable Jeff said:

Very rarely on the Web during the day, and if i am it's on my phone.

 

So it's not skiving if the device is smaller?

 

Interesting.

 

In answer to your query, a few computer-related pranks you may wish to try should sir get the opportunity.

 

1) Social media stowaway. Got a smoker in the office that doesn't lock his screen when going out for a fag? Nip onto Facebook, end his relationship with his partner (assuming he has one - coders, right?) and announce something huge, like he's changing sex or joining the French Foreign Legion or whatever.

2) Iconic prank. Also requires access to screen. Take a screenshot of the person's desktop. Move all desktop icons into a folder somewhere. Set the screenshot you took as the person's backdrop. Enjoy hours of them clicking things that no longer work.

3) Coder special. Replace one or several semi-colons in source code with the Greek question mark. This looks exactly the same as a semi-colon, but will cause every compiler to scream blue murder. Your hapless programmers won't know what's hit them.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  pap said:

So it's not skiving if the device is smaller?

 

Interesting.

 

In answer to your query, a few computer-related pranks you may wish to try should sir get the opportunity.

 

1) Social media stowaway. Got a smoker in the office that doesn't lock his screen when going out for a fag? Nip onto Facebook, end his relationship with his partner (assuming he has one - coders, right?) and announce something huge, like he's changing sex or joining the French Foreign Legion or whatever.

2) Iconic prank. Also requires access to screen. Take a screenshot of the person's desktop. Move all desktop icons into a folder somewhere. Set the screenshot you took as the person's backdrop. Enjoy hours of them clicking things that no longer work.

3) Coder special. Replace one or several semi-colons in source code with the Greek question mark. This looks exactly the same as a semi-colon, but will cause every compiler to scream blue murder. Your hapless programmers won't know what's hit them.

 

Oh jeez, those are class. Might well have to try that. The Coder Special is very funny, but don't forget I'm a BA, so devs hate me enough without having me messing with their code...

 

It is skiving, but it's not quite as obvious, in my eyes anyway.

[Hatch]

Come up with a new niche dessert to be sold to the mass consumer.

Also come up with packaging and branding.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

Any funny podcasts that anyone listens to?

[Foxy]

Make the tea. They'll thank you.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  Foxy said:

Make the tea. They'll thank you.

 

I'm not sure I can handle that sort of responsibility - it's a big step up in my career.

[Halo Stickman]

I sympathise with you, Jeff.

 

As a young engineering apprentice I served part of my time in the company’s Works Engineers Department. On my first day, the Chief Engineer called me into his office and said: ‘we’ve got virtually nothing for you to do; nevertheless, important people visit this office at all times; therefore, it is imperative that you always LOOK busy.”

 

Wtf! After a few days I turned batshit mental. Good luck.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  Halo Stickman said:

I sympathise with you, Jeff.

 

As a young engineering apprentice I served part of my time in the company’s Works Engineers Department. On my first day, the Chief Engineer called me into his office and said: ‘we’ve got virtually nothing for you to do; nevertheless, important people visit this office at all times; therefore, it is imperative that you always LOOK busy.”

 

Wtf! After a few days I turned batshit mental. Good luck.

 

Well at least I've got going mental to look forward to...

 

Perhaps I should write a book. The world according to Jeff or something?

[KelvinsRightGlove]

I'll just leave this here:

 

https://apps.facebook.com/farmheroes/?fb_source=canvas_bookmark

 

Great time killer, hear the guys and gals that work on it are really cool

[Turkish]

wish i had that problem. Its our year end this month, i'll certainly be working all the way through christmas and very likely until late new years eve.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  KelvinsRightGlove said:

I'll just leave this here:

 

https://apps.facebook.com/farmheroes/?fb_source=canvas_bookmark

 

Great time killer, hear the guys and gals that work on it are really cool

 

Just looks too dodgy sat on my phone playing a game...

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  Turkish said:

wish i had that problem. Its our year end this month, i'll certainly be working all the way through christmas and very likely until late new years eve.

 

People always need print cartridges...

 

Jokes.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

  Unbelievable Jeff said:

Just looks too dodgy sat on my phone playing a game...

 

Pfft, your place sounds boring

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  KelvinsRightGlove said:

Pfft, your place sounds boring

 

Large clothes retailer, so it kinda is. I'm a contractor so can kind of put up with it. Used to work here full time though...wouldn't make that mistake again.

[CB Saint]

  pap said:

So it's not skiving if the device is smaller?

 

Interesting.

 

In answer to your query, a few computer-related pranks you may wish to try should sir get the opportunity.

 

1) Social media stowaway. Got a smoker in the office that doesn't lock his screen when going out for a fag? Nip onto Facebook, end his relationship with his partner (assuming he has one - coders, right?) and announce something huge, like he's changing sex or joining the French Foreign Legion or whatever.

2) Iconic prank. Also requires access to screen. Take a screenshot of the person's desktop. Move all desktop icons into a folder somewhere. Set the screenshot you took as the person's backdrop. Enjoy hours of them clicking things that no longer work.

3) Coder special. Replace one or several semi-colons in source code with the Greek question mark. This looks exactly the same as a semi-colon, but will cause every compiler to scream blue murder. Your hapless programmers won't know what's hit them.

 

Switch the n and m keys on the keyboard

 

Love the iconic gag - might do this myself

[pap]

  CB Saint said:

Love the iconic gag - might do this myself

 

To really screw them up, unlock the taskbar, drag it to the top of the screen and then set it to auto-hide

[KelvinsRightGlove]

  pap said:

To really screw them up, unlock the taskbar, drag it to the top of the screen and then set it to auto-hide

 

You're evil.

 

 

I like it.

[Whitey Grandad]

  pap said:

To really screw them up, unlock the taskbar, drag it to the top of the screen and then set it to auto-hide

 

Use PrtScrn to set a copy of the current desktop as your wallpaper. Then move all the icons somewhere else.

 

(Do not try this at home)

[pap]

  Whitey Grandad said:

Use PrtScrn to set a copy of the current desktop as your wallpaper. Then move all the icons somewhere else.

 

(Do not try this at home)

 

Good one, Whitey. Wish I'd thought of that.

[Halo Stickman]

  pap said:

Good one, Whitey. Wish I'd thought of that.

 

Now then Pap, sarcasm doesn’t suit you (perhaps it does, I’m not sure)

 

But, slap wrist for Whitey for not studying thread in its entirety!

[The Cat]

  pap said:

Good one, Whitey. Wish I'd thought of that.

 

I first encountered that particular jape while working at Nintendo 15 years ago. Good to know people still fall for it.

 

If I was Jeff I'd go down the pub, or work from home.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  The Cat said:

I first encountered that particular jape while working at Nintendo 15 years ago. Good to know people still fall for it.

 

If I was Jeff I'd go down the pub, or work from home.

 

As a contractor it's not something I can do...I could of course take the time off unpaid, but don't really want to do that.

[Whitey Grandad]

  pap said:

Good one, Whitey. Wish I'd thought of that.

 

Oops, sorry PAP mate, my eyesight's not what it was.

 

We did this to one of my colleagues (i.e. workers) once and it took him a little while to work out what was going on. Also he hated YMCA (the song by the Village people, not the institution) so we replaced all his sound files with the same sample of the song so whatever he clicked he heard the opening words of the song.

 

 

Also next time you're in PC World and see a desktop type Ctrl-A, Enter and walk away purposefully.

 

 

Does anybody actually read everything that everybody else writes? Surely that's bordering on the obsessive These people must spend all day sitting on ths forum. Not me! I've got lots of really interesting things to do.

[pap]

  The Cat said:

I first encountered that particular jape while working at Nintendo 15 years ago. Good to know people still fall for it.

 

If I was Jeff I'd go down the pub, or work from home.

 

You probably know my mate if you worked at Nintendo.

[Halo Stickman]

  Whitey Grandad said:

Does anybody actually read everything that everybody else writes?

 

Does anybody actually read anything that everybody else writes? is probably more apt, Whitey

[Whitey Grandad]

  Halo Stickman said:

Does anybody actually read anything that everybody else writes? is probably more apt, Whitey

 

Most of it is in one eye and out the other but occasionally, just occasionally, there are some sparkling jewels of wit and insight that make all the lonely hours worthwhile. If it ever happens I'll be the first to let you know

[Halo Stickman]

  Whitey Grandad said:

Most of it is in one eye and out the other but occasionally, just occasionally, there are some sparkling jewels of wit and insight that make all the lonely hours worthwhile. If it ever happens I'll be the first to let you know

 

[ecuk268]

Don't know about where you're working, but here documentation is the last thing that gets done because everybody hates doing it.

 

Now's your chance to get it done.

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  ecuk268 said:

Don't know about where you're working, but here documentation is the last thing that gets done because everybody hates doing it.

 

Now's your chance to get it done.

 

I completed the last of the support docs the other day. That's why I'm in this situation. Perhaps I should have stretched it out a bit.

[Whitey Grandad]

I've just spent a fruitful few minutes digging all the fluff out of the earphone socket on my Iphone.

[ant]

  pap said:

3) Coder special. Replace one or several semi-colons in source code with the Greek question mark. This looks exactly the same as a semi-colon, but will cause every compiler to scream blue murder. Your hapless programmers won't know what's hit them.

 

Incredible. It's as if 'find and replace' was invented for this purpose.

[stug76]

Not sure if this still applies but we used to have fun at the expense of our manager by changing the words that MS Word auto corrects. He couldn't understand why he couldn't spell his own name. We used to change it every now and again to keep ourselves amused. I think he went mad in the end.

[Special K]

  pap said:

To really screw them up, unlock the taskbar, drag it to the top of the screen and then set it to auto-hide

 

That's sounds like proper f**king lols. I will try that on someone tomorrow.

[Special K]

  Unbelievable Jeff said:

Large clothes retailer, so it kinda is. I'm a contractor so can kind of put up with it. Used to work here full time though...wouldn't make that mistake again.

 

Spend the next few days cruising lingerie pictures online, with the excuse that you are working on a new line of Doris clobber, when really you are stocking up pics for the old w@nkbbank. I'm sure there used to be a naughty undies thread on here at some point which could start you off.

[Goatboy]

Spend some time collecting a few quid off your colleagues and make a donation to a local charity?

Just saying, Christmas spirit and all that.

[Toadhall Saint]

  Unbelievable Jeff said:

Oh jeez, those are class. Might well have to try that. The Coder Special is very funny, but don't forget I'm a BA, so devs hate me enough without having me messing with their code...

 

It is skiving, but it's not quite as obvious, in my eyes anyway.

 

Do some work/research on agile methodology? Or tell them you are looking at ways that you can improve the processes within your domain.

[Toadhall Saint]

  Unbelievable Jeff said:

As a contractor it's not something I can do...I could of course take the time off unpaid, but don't really want to do that.

 

Not on your daily rate ??

[The Cat]

  pap said:

You probably know my mate if you worked at Nintendo.

 

What's his name?

[buctootim]

Mario

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  Toadhall Saint said:

Do some work/research on agile methodology? Or tell them you are looking at ways that you can improve the processes within your domain.

 

We don't use Agile here, but did at the last place. Not keen myself, think you can tend to lose detail and gives the devs more scope to do what they want...

 

Could go through my old ISEB stuff though, brush up a bit on UML as never really used it.

[Toadhall Saint]

  Unbelievable Jeff said:

We don't use Agile here, but did at the last place. Not keen myself, think you can tend to lose detail and gives the devs more scope to do what they want...

 

Could go through my old ISEB stuff though, brush up a bit on UML as never really used it.

 

Not a great fan myself but it seems to be the in thing at the mo well at my place of work it is. Funny re UML it's on my list for next year. You mention ISEB ever done anything IIBA wise?

[Unbelievable Jeff]

  Toadhall Saint said:

Not a great fan myself but it seems to be the in thing at the mo well at my place of work it is. Funny re UML it's on my list for next year. You mention ISEB ever done anything IIBA wise?

 

No, done ISEB Diploma in BA, and also in Testing when I started out. I assume IIBA is pretty similar though?

[Weston Super Saint]

If you don't already have it, why not do the research / learning for Prince2?

[Toadhall Saint]

  Unbelievable Jeff said:

No, done ISEB Diploma in BA, and also in Testing when I started out. I assume IIBA is pretty similar though?

 

Yep similar to the ISEB diploma - slight differences in terminology but that's about it. The biggest difference is that to be able to apply for the main IIBA qualification you need 5 years of BA work (and they are quite strict on what they feel is BA work).