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What to do...


Unbelievable Jeff
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So I've got 3 days left in work before I break for Christmas, and I literally have nothing to do. My manager has gone away, I work in a project environment and dont have time to get anything big started.

 

What I need to do is find something to keep myself going so that I can look busy for a few days.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Very rarely on the Web during the day, and if i am it's on my phone.

 

So it's not skiving if the device is smaller?

 

Interesting.

 

In answer to your query, a few computer-related pranks you may wish to try should sir get the opportunity.

 

1) Social media stowaway. Got a smoker in the office that doesn't lock his screen when going out for a fag? Nip onto Facebook, end his relationship with his partner (assuming he has one - coders, right?) and announce something huge, like he's changing sex or joining the French Foreign Legion or whatever.

2) Iconic prank. Also requires access to screen. Take a screenshot of the person's desktop. Move all desktop icons into a folder somewhere. Set the screenshot you took as the person's backdrop. Enjoy hours of them clicking things that no longer work.

3) Coder special. Replace one or several semi-colons in source code with the Greek question mark. This looks exactly the same as a semi-colon, but will cause every compiler to scream blue murder. Your hapless programmers won't know what's hit them.

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So it's not skiving if the device is smaller?

 

Interesting.

 

In answer to your query, a few computer-related pranks you may wish to try should sir get the opportunity.

 

1) Social media stowaway. Got a smoker in the office that doesn't lock his screen when going out for a fag? Nip onto Facebook, end his relationship with his partner (assuming he has one - coders, right?) and announce something huge, like he's changing sex or joining the French Foreign Legion or whatever.

2) Iconic prank. Also requires access to screen. Take a screenshot of the person's desktop. Move all desktop icons into a folder somewhere. Set the screenshot you took as the person's backdrop. Enjoy hours of them clicking things that no longer work.

3) Coder special. Replace one or several semi-colons in source code with the Greek question mark. This looks exactly the same as a semi-colon, but will cause every compiler to scream blue murder. Your hapless programmers won't know what's hit them.

 

Oh jeez, those are class. Might well have to try that. The Coder Special is very funny, but don't forget I'm a BA, so devs hate me enough without having me messing with their code...

 

It is skiving, but it's not quite as obvious, in my eyes anyway.

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I sympathise with you, Jeff.

 

As a young engineering apprentice I served part of my time in the company’s Works Engineers Department. On my first day, the Chief Engineer called me into his office and said: ‘we’ve got virtually nothing for you to do; nevertheless, important people visit this office at all times; therefore, it is imperative that you always LOOK busy.”

 

Wtf! After a few days I turned batshit mental. Good luck.

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I sympathise with you, Jeff.

 

As a young engineering apprentice I served part of my time in the company’s Works Engineers Department. On my first day, the Chief Engineer called me into his office and said: ‘we’ve got virtually nothing for you to do; nevertheless, important people visit this office at all times; therefore, it is imperative that you always LOOK busy.”

 

Wtf! After a few days I turned batshit mental. Good luck.

 

Well at least I've got going mental to look forward to...

 

Perhaps I should write a book. The world according to Jeff or something?

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So it's not skiving if the device is smaller?

 

Interesting.

 

In answer to your query, a few computer-related pranks you may wish to try should sir get the opportunity.

 

1) Social media stowaway. Got a smoker in the office that doesn't lock his screen when going out for a fag? Nip onto Facebook, end his relationship with his partner (assuming he has one - coders, right?) and announce something huge, like he's changing sex or joining the French Foreign Legion or whatever.

2) Iconic prank. Also requires access to screen. Take a screenshot of the person's desktop. Move all desktop icons into a folder somewhere. Set the screenshot you took as the person's backdrop. Enjoy hours of them clicking things that no longer work.

3) Coder special. Replace one or several semi-colons in source code with the Greek question mark. This looks exactly the same as a semi-colon, but will cause every compiler to scream blue murder. Your hapless programmers won't know what's hit them.

 

Switch the n and m keys on the keyboard

 

Love the iconic gag - might do this myself

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Good one, Whitey. Wish I'd thought of that.

 

Oops, sorry PAP mate, my eyesight's not what it was. :eek:

 

We did this to one of my colleagues (i.e. workers) once and it took him a little while to work out what was going on. Also he hated YMCA (the song by the Village people, not the institution) so we replaced all his sound files with the same sample of the song so whatever he clicked he heard the opening words of the song.

 

 

Also next time you're in PC World and see a desktop type Ctrl-A, Enter and walk away purposefully.

 

 

Does anybody actually read everything that everybody else writes? Surely that's bordering on the obsessive These people must spend all day sitting on ths forum. Not me! I've got lots of really interesting things to do.:uhoh:

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I first encountered that particular jape while working at Nintendo 15 years ago. Good to know people still fall for it.

 

If I was Jeff I'd go down the pub, or work from home.

 

You probably know my mate if you worked at Nintendo.

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Does anybody actually read anything that everybody else writes? is probably more apt, Whitey :)

 

Most of it is in one eye and out the other but occasionally, just occasionally, there are some sparkling jewels of wit and insight that make all the lonely hours worthwhile. If it ever happens I'll be the first to let you know :)

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3) Coder special. Replace one or several semi-colons in source code with the Greek question mark. This looks exactly the same as a semi-colon, but will cause every compiler to scream blue murder. Your hapless programmers won't know what's hit them.

 

Incredible. It's as if 'find and replace' was invented for this purpose.

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Not sure if this still applies but we used to have fun at the expense of our manager by changing the words that MS Word auto corrects. He couldn't understand why he couldn't spell his own name. We used to change it every now and again to keep ourselves amused. I think he went mad in the end.

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Large clothes retailer, so it kinda is. I'm a contractor so can kind of put up with it. Used to work here full time though...wouldn't make that mistake again.

 

Spend the next few days cruising lingerie pictures online, with the excuse that you are working on a new line of Doris clobber, when really you are stocking up pics for the old w@nkbbank. I'm sure there used to be a naughty undies thread on here at some point which could start you off.

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Oh jeez, those are class. Might well have to try that. The Coder Special is very funny, but don't forget I'm a BA, so devs hate me enough without having me messing with their code...

 

It is skiving, but it's not quite as obvious, in my eyes anyway.

 

Do some work/research on agile methodology? Or tell them you are looking at ways that you can improve the processes within your domain.

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Do some work/research on agile methodology? Or tell them you are looking at ways that you can improve the processes within your domain.

 

We don't use Agile here, but did at the last place. Not keen myself, think you can tend to lose detail and gives the devs more scope to do what they want...

 

Could go through my old ISEB stuff though, brush up a bit on UML as never really used it.

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We don't use Agile here, but did at the last place. Not keen myself, think you can tend to lose detail and gives the devs more scope to do what they want...

 

Could go through my old ISEB stuff though, brush up a bit on UML as never really used it.

 

Not a great fan myself but it seems to be the in thing at the mo well at my place of work it is. Funny re UML it's on my list for next year. You mention ISEB ever done anything IIBA wise?

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No, done ISEB Diploma in BA, and also in Testing when I started out. I assume IIBA is pretty similar though?

 

Yep similar to the ISEB diploma - slight differences in terminology but that's about it. The biggest difference is that to be able to apply for the main IIBA qualification you need 5 years of BA work (and they are quite strict on what they feel is BA work).

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