The Finsbury Park Diet – Not for faint hearted - Thanks Arsenal

[teedee38]

The Finsbury Park Diet – Not for faint hearted – but a 100% guaranteed weight loss plan. Its now day 9 and I’ve lost 7 ½ pounds.

 

Preparation. None required, eat and drink as normal up until about 4pm on day one.

 

Travel to London, get caught in M25/M4 traffic, Drink 1 small bottle of Stella on the tube, arrive 22mins after kick off for Saints away at Arsenal without eating, watch and enjoy beating Arsenal and leave the ground happy and hungry.

 

Avoid the usual dodgy burger vans and go to the ‘Chuckup Express’ opposite Finsbury Park Tube (I guess the secret’s in the name) and ask for meal No 1, I don’t know if you have request it cooked ‘Rare’ or they just do this as a matter of course, either way mine tasted great and I enjoyed it.

 

Now comes the tricky part, cross London on the tube to Ruislip, and proceed directly home, don’t mess about because you have about 2 hours max before the chemical process that has already started reaches critical.

 

Send a text to work while you still have the strength, you won’t be going in the next day, trust me on this one.

 

The next 9 hours involve a complete liquid evacuation of the system and no sleep, followed by 8 hours trying to sleep while bent double.

 

After approx 20 hours from first contact you can just about manage to keep a cup of Tea and Slice of toast down/in and then slowly things return to normal apart from the pulled stomach muscles and possible (un-diagnosed) rectal acid burns which take 3 to 5 days to mend.

 

Ladies I take my hat off to you, I have never really had to seriously Diet, but if this is what it takes then I can see why you need support groups like Slimmer’s World.

[buctootim]

Whatever made you ill wasn't the Finsbury Park food. Most food poisoning takes 2-5 days incubation before symptoms emerge. The minimum is 12 hours.

[Saint-scooby]

Halal meat is cruel, thats why you can now sh1t through an eye of an needle

[Lorne Malvo]

A story so good it needed to be posted twice!

[sussexsaint]

Whatever made you ill wasn't the Finsbury Park food. Most food poisoning takes 2-5 days incubation before symptoms emerge. The minimum is 12 hours.

 

That isn't true mate - Staph toxin poisoning can take hold in 30 minutes and it sounds like this is what he had

[Goatboy]

Tried this diet on holiday in morocco. Not the wife's most memorable birthday, listening to me puking my ring up every hour for 8 hours. I convinced her the 5 star spa day wouldn't have been much cop anyway.

[buctootim]

Fair point, I'd forgotten about Staph - its poisoning from toxin created by poor handling of uncooked food. I was thinking of 'live' infections.

Edited 2 October, 2014 by buctootim

[teedee38]

I think I've found the cause - Bacillus cereus

Bacillus cereus or B. cereus is a type of bacteria that produces toxins. These toxins can cause two types of illness: one type characterized by diarrhea and the other, called emetic toxin, by nausea and vomiting.

 

These bacteria are present in foods and can multiply quickly at room temperature.

 

Sources A variety of foods, particularly rice and leftovers, as well as sauces, soups, and other prepared foods that have sat out too long at room temperature.

Incubation Period

Diarrheal: 6-15 hours

Emetic (vomiting): 30 minutes to 6 hours

Symptoms

Diarrheal: Watery diarrhea and abdominal cramps

Emetic (vomiting): Nausea and vomiting

Duration of Illness 24 hours

[kipstryker]

micky flanagan the ****s abroad - out out tour:

[Sour Mash]

I think I've found the cause - Bacillus cereus

Bacillus cereus or B. cereus is a type of bacteria that produces toxins. These toxins can cause two types of illness: one type characterized by diarrhea and the other, called emetic toxin, by nausea and vomiting.

 

These bacteria are present in foods and can multiply quickly at room temperature.

 

SourcesA variety of foods, particularly rice and leftovers, as well as sauces, soups, and other prepared foods that have sat out too long at room temperature.

Incubation Period

Diarrheal: 6-15 hours

Emetic (vomiting): 30 minutes to 6 hours

Symptoms

Diarrheal: Watery diarrhea and abdominal cramps

Emetic (vomiting): Nausea and vomiting

Duration of Illness24 hours

 

For something that severe you should probably report the establishment to the relevant authorities, as you're unlikely to be the first or last.

[Huffton]

For something that severe you should probably report the establishment to the relevant authorities, as you're unlikely to be the first or last.

 

This. I had a lovely dose of Campylobacter poisoning a few years ago. The Dr reported it to the environmental health people who then contacted me wanting to know where I'd eaten and been in the preceeding couple of days.