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RIP Robin Williams

Batman

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buctootim

buctootim

Posted
Posted
I have to admit that I have no idea what depression is like, and (I don't think) anyone close to me suffers/suffered from it - so my 'selfish' comment was a complete one sided view, and apologise if I offended anyone.

 

I think my view comes from a kid when someone committed suicide by running in front of my dad's bus, and ever since then I've had that (right/wrong) viewpoint that the person is almost taking the easy way out and leaving those left behind to deal with the fall out.

 

I think what that person did to your Dad was a thoughtless way to end it, as with people jumping in front of trains and tubes - but the act itself can be a brave one. Some people come to realise that there is no cure for whatever individual demons ail them - and so think that their family and friends will be better off without them dragging everybody down. Sometimes they're wrong but sadly sometimes they're right.

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sadoldgit

sadoldgit

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It is a very difficult area SO16. If you havent experienced it or had someone very close to you experience it it is difficult to get your head around. The people who have to deal with the aftermath (as per your Dad, relatives, friends etc) are also left with someawful stuff to deal with which, as you say, is why many consider it a selfish act. The thing is, if people were thinking rationally they would do it (well you'd hop not).

 

In my case I had three little girls under 5 years old. In my head I "rationalised" that, as they were so young, they wouldn't miss me so much. My ex was pretty good at picking up men so I also "rationalised" that they would soon have another, maybe better, Dad. Breaks my heart to think back to those days but that gives you some kind of idea about what goes on in the head of someone who has lost the plot. I know is sounds like an easy way out but believe me, to get to that point in your life it is not easy at all. To get to that point you have to be really desparate.

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CHAPEL END CHARLIE

CHAPEL END CHARLIE

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Cards on the table.

 

I'm not about to bore you with the details, most you will doubtless have your own problems to deal with, but the last two months in my life have been bloody awful. So I can understand from personal experience how easy it is to reach that dark place in life where the future looks so bleak that carrying on seems more trouble than it's worth. However, when those who have so much chose to kill themselves then I too am left bewildered yet again by the unfathomable mystery of the Human heart. What needful things we are.

 

Yes I know that old devil called 'addiction problems' is the short answer, the long answer will be more subtle than that. But it seems to me that if a man so loved, so talented, and so very wealthy as Robin Williams was can take his own life then let's face it - it could happen to any of us.

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sadoldgit

sadoldgit

Posted
Posted (edited)
Cards on the table.

 

I'm not about to bore you with the details, most you will doubtless have your own problems to deal with, but the last two months in my life have been bloody awful. So I can understand from personal experience how easy it is to reach that dark place in life where the future looks so bleak that carrying on seems more trouble than it's worth. However, when those who have so much chose to kill themselves then I too am left bewildered yet again by the unfathomable mystery of the Human heart. What needful things we are.

 

Yes I know that old devil called 'addiction problems' is the short answer, the long answer will be more subtle than that. But it seems to me that if a man so loved, so talented, and so very wealthy as Robin Williams was can take his own life then let's face it - it could happen to any of us.

 

Sorry to hear things arent going so well but hope you are getting support? And you are spot on, it can, and does happen to any of us.

Edited by sadoldgit
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bristolsaint29

bristolsaint29

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I don't think you have hijacked this thread, it is not an easy topic to talk about so fair play to you for doing so.

 

I think it is times like this where depression is actually talked about. As much of a tragedy it is if it helps change the view of depression from someone being bloody miserable and selfish to someone with a genuine illness then Some good has come of it.

 

It ways amazes me the ignorance of this illness and the stigma surrounding it. Yet it never surprises me when one person me ions it how many more come out and say that they have also suffered. I too have and have been in some dark places yet I have a good job and family around me. There is no rhyme or reason to it.

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sadoldgit

sadoldgit

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I don't think you have hijacked this thread, it is not an easy topic to talk about so fair play to you for doing so.

 

Thank you. I received a lot of really helpful support when I mentioned that my daughter is anorexic so am more than happy to give support back if anyone needs it re depression. people need to speak up. There are so many out there and we need to get rid of the stigma.

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Halo Stickman

Halo Stickman

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... most you will doubtless have your own problems to deal with ...

 

I’m guessing you’re referring to the Shane Long signing, Charlie!

 

Seriously though, I’m sorry to read about the problems you and others on here have been experiencing or have previously experienced.

 

You’re right, all of us at some time or other have to deal with our own problems – death or illness of loved-ones, physical or mental heath problems, marital or family break-up, job-lost or other financial hardships etc – and sometimes these, or a combination of these, can lead us into dark places. I wish there was an easy way to ride out these times; sadly, I don’t think there is – but if anyone knows of one I’d be only too glad to hear it.

 

FWIW, here are some things I’ve picked up over the years that I’ve found to be beneficial during dark times. They’re not aimed at you, Charlie, or at anyone else on here – and it’s certainly not my intention to set myself up as some sort of two-dime preacher-man or bargain-bucket life-coach! – they’re simply things I’ve found useful myself. I’m sure others can add to the list.

 

1/ Accept that it’s perfectly normal to feel like sh1t at times, it doesn’t mean that you’re weak and pathetic.

 

2/ Never be too proud to share a problem or to seek help.

 

3/ Force yourself to carry on doing the things you previously enjoyed – hobbies, pastimes etc. – even when they seem pointless or worthless. They will bring moments of relief.

 

4/ Do lots of physical activities i.e. running, swimming, walking, gardening – in fact, anything that keeps you connected to the outside world and stops you imploding into your own head.

 

5/ Maintain social contact.

 

6/ Keep away from alcohol – when you’re feeling low, this just makes things worse.

 

7/ Accept that the hackneyed old cliché ‘time is a great healer’, though incredibly annoying at times, is actually true – often, things do get better, or at least you find a way to see things in a better light.

 

8/ When you eventually get through these dark times, cut other people some slack – they may be going through dark times themselves.

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rallyboy

rallyboy

Posted
Posted

It's difficult to judge what is happening in someone else's head and the default assumption of most people is that their viewpoint on others is the correct one.

'How can they be depressed, their life looks great from here'.

 

Clark Carlisle did that great programme where he explained that as a footballer your entire life is defined by what happens on the pitch.

Make a mistake and you are a failure, it isn't just a game, you are a failure as a human being, and he couldn't see beyond that failure and considered suicide.

When someone gets to that state the rest of us can't understand it.

He has a big car, a mansion, so he gave away a penalty, it's only a game....

 

And how could he do that to his kids?

We don't know, and nor does he, because his mind is in a state far beyond anything we can comprehend on our spectrum of normality.

Applying logic to someone at the end of their tether is pointless, they are operating at a different level.

Gary Speed - what the f?

Few outward signs, so many unanswered questions.

What was happening in his head was obviously very different to what we could see in him.

 

While the train or bus jumpers look selfish, when they reach that point, they don't have the mental clarity to even consider what happens afterwards.

They don't mean to mess up our commute or upset the driver and emergency crew, they may just want the voices to stop, or their torture to end.

 

I don't want to come across as Mr Caring, I'm as selfish as the next man and probably more insensitive when it comes to asking why the victim couldn't have just done this at home rather than blocking my motorway - and I think I'm joking when I say that...deep down.

But in the cold light of day you have to think of the people they left behind.

 

And in this latest case many people confuse success and wealth with happiness - even though people who are purely driven by money will never have enough.

Make a million, you want ten, make a billion....see Ecclestone, he should be retired and doing what ever he wants, but he's driven by greed and wealth, and it won't make him happy.

In fact he doesn't even look happy.

 

Robin Williams had everything material around him, but I'm guessing that he had become someone who was just wanted as a prize dog that did tricks for people.

Wheel out Robin, he'll make us laugh for a bit.

 

Being poor isn't any fun but money doesn't equal happiness, and success is brief and fleeting.

You don't want to be reliving the past all the time.

The other slight problem with being stinking rich is you can change anything.

A court charges you with fraud, you pay them off.

You can go anywhere VIP.

Someone annoys you in business, have them dealt with.

Money can make you all powerful.

But one day you will get old and ill, and your money will achieve nothing - you will age and you will die, and this lack of power must hurt even more if you have always been able to buy your way out of trouble.

 

 

I watched a family member die and it really struck me at that time.

You could be richer than Abramovich but all the money in the world won't save you.

 

The most important thing in life by far is your health, physical and mental.

 

People worry about debt, war, Shane Long, parking tickets, home defeats, the state of their lawn.

If you have a roof over your head, and food, and your health - you are doing very nicely.

 

 

 

*Dr RB is not a qualified health professional and most of his advice should be ignored. :)

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