The World Cup Commentator's Gibberish Repository

[dubai_phil]

OK so 2 minutes to go before the BIG debate (JLo? Would You?)

 

As so many different 'taters round the world have already spoken hours of krap, thought we should have our own TMS 4 week long Repository of Coleman Balls and just sheer Nonsense.

 

So I'll start JLo's bum is perfect. Pitbull & Co will not Lip Sync, no siree.

 

Over to y'all

 

Extras Votes in the MVP stakes for the best with any actually links/gifs/etc

[dubai_phil]

And we start off with David Pleat as our expert Opening Ceremony Summriser....

 

14.3% of the Amazon Rainforest is now protected.

 

Thanks Dave

Edited 12 June, 2014 by dubai_phil

[Bearsy]

14.3% of the Amazon Rainforest is now protected.

 

And that percentage gets bigger every year

[dubai_phil]

Howard Webb is being paid 30,000 POUNDS for his work at the WC.

[Bearsy]

Man this is embarrassing, I dunno it I can watch any more

[Bearsy]

Did they rent SMS sound system?

[Whitey Grandad]

Yeah, of course I would. Who's JLo?

[dubai_phil]

Did they rent SMS sound system?

 

Nah. They rented the one from Nottarf Krap. The Invoice said it was last used by Arcade Fire on tour & the bill was 14 million Euros

[dubai_phil]

Yeah, of course I would. Who's JLo?

 

She was the older one in Green with a big bum.

[dubai_phil]

Soccer Guy ‏@usasoccerguy 30m

A whole bunch of people are walking round dressed up as trees. In a minute, some guys will try and illegally cut them down. #HalfTimeShow

 

Soccer Guy ‏@usasoccerguy 21m

Some kid gets out a major felony card and sends off all the lame dancer guys. #HalfTimeShow #WorldCup

 

Soccer Guy ‏@usasoccerguy 13m

Is this even music? What are you Pitbull? #MajorFelonyCard

[Whitey Grandad]

She was the older one in Green with a big bum.

 

Older is good it's a lot safer when they can take their teeth out.

Edited 12 June, 2014 by Whitey Grandad

[dubai_phil]

The Media Blog ‏@TheMediaTweets 14m

Just remember: "There's no easy drinking games in international football..." pic.twitter.com/s4jMLTZO8j

 

 

 

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[Tokyo-Saint]

You lot must be on crack to watch any of that ****.

[dubai_phil]

Footy Memes

‏

@

FootyMemes

The best banner at the World Cup so far pic.twitter.com/Do0zLV4ihd

 

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[RonManager]

 

http://www.gusthefox.com/

[dubai_phil]

David Pleat :

 

Yes that is definitely a Penalty. Johnson moved his arm towards the ball. England very lucky there".

 

Yes David, except the ball hit his LEG

[Goatboy]

This thread is David Pleat's true home.

[dubai_phil]

Lots of English players have gone on to have great careers in Italy like John Charles & Liam Brady...............

 

Thanks David

[dubai_phil]

TransferScoop ‏@TransferScoop 4h

Wayne Rooney's best goals at the World Cup! pic.twitter.com/1D8pIxfEKN

 

 

 

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[The9]

Footy Memes

‏

@

FootyMemes

The best banner at the World Cup so far pic.twitter.com/Do0zLV4ihd

 

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I'm hopeful that everyone else knows that's from the Wales v South Africa Rugbish international on Saturday, and if so, whoosh me.

 

But can't tell if trolling or serious on this one.

[Big Bad Bob]

Sorry for linking to the Mirror but I thought Jonathon Pearce showed what a **** he is last night :-

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/row-zed/bbcs-jonathan-pearce-utterly-baffled-3701145

[Saint in Paradise]

http://i57.tinypic.com/21jraed.jpg

[Halo Stickman]

Not strictly a commentator (although if you lived in our house you’d find that f*cking hard to believe), towards the end of the England match, Mrs Stickman screamed something I hadn’t heard for a while: “For god’s sake just whack it in!”

[bristolsaint29]

Mum wanted to know why all the hanging around on Saturday night and if they could start the game a bit early as she was getting tired.

[scotty]

Why do Chiles, Dixon, the frog and the wop keep touching each other? Its like some homoerotic love-fest. Take it to the bedroom lads, we dont need to see it. #ffs #ghey

[TwoPints]

 

Not strictly World Cup related but made me laugh all the same (read the ticker).

[hutch]

Don't be daft. They're all Brazillians.

[Goatboy]

Not strictly a commentator (although if you lived in our house you’d find that f*cking hard to believe), towards the end of the England match, Mrs Stickman screamed something I hadn’t heard for a while: “For god’s sake just whack it in!”

 

[notnowcato]

A lot of cnutybollix about Rooney being a "street footballer". If that's the case he can stick his hat on the ground and I'll chuck in what money I think he deserves.