Significant other bother

[pap]

I have now been with ms pap for nigh on 20 years. Over the course of our long relationship, numerous pressure points have built up. We know each other's buttons.

 

Despite the tolerance that has built up for these things, they still irk.

 

For example, ms pap's inability to provide a direct answer to a simple question like "how long is dinner going to be?" is one of my buttons. I'm looking for a time in minutes. She gives a rambling scouse speech that'd put Tolkien in the shade as a creator of "filler".

 

My inability to pick anything for dinner is one of hers.

 

There are plenty of others, but I don't wanna spoil you just yet.

 

What's your significant other bother?

[Halo Stickman]

Jeez pap, this has the potential to rival the Pompey Saga thread! Now, let’s see, where to start…

[trousers]

Me ignoring Lady Trousers whilst posting on the Saintsweb forum

[pap]

Me ignoring Lady Trousers whilst posting on the Saintsweb forum

 

Tsk. They just don't realise the effort required to be a regular poster, do they?

 

Right now, I am:-

 

1) Griefing XBox One owners

2) Suggesting that MH370 may have landed somewhere

3) Keeping the world up to date on TV (Walking Dead, mainly)

4) Participating in a thinly-veiled "we've got Glasto tickets and you haven't thred"

5) Starting threads about the other half being annoying

 

It's quite an ask, as I'm sure sir will know.

[Whitey Grandad]

If a man says he's going to do something then there's no need to remind him every six months.

 

Female logic (there is no such thing) is different to a man's. They can never give a straight answer to a straight question, you have to have a full story of the thought processes involved first.

[pap]

If a man says he's going to do something then there's no need to remind him every six months.

 

Female logic (there is no such thing) is different to a man's. They can never give a straight answer to a straight question, you have to have a full story of the thought processes involved first.

 

Ah, so it's not just mine then.

[Goatboy]

Screw the bloody lid on the coke bottle tight. If you don't, it goes flat. How many times you useless sack of...

This thread has legs.

[Halo Stickman]

Being a gentleman, I hesitate to air our dirty washing on a public forum, but I have to say that Mrs Stickman has ruined at least half a dozen of my favourite shirts by washing them with a bleach impregnated dishcloth, and she is also f*ucking useless at loading the dishwasher properly.

[Whitey Grandad]

Being a gentleman, I hesitate to air our dirty washing on a public forum, but I have to say that Mrs Stickman has ruined at least half a dozen of my favourite shirts by washing them with a bleach impregnated dishcloth, and she is also f*ucking useless at loading the dishwasher properly.

 

That's not the point. What the F*ck are you doing in the kitchen anyway?

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Ufff, she's great bless her. But, the girlfriends ability to make absolutely everything, even the most simple or menial of tasks and absolute chore drives me absolutely barmy. Everything takes about 26 hours longer than it needs to.

 

Also, her inability to understand that I border on being deaf - so even after years of repeating 95% of the things she has ever said to me, she still mumbles and gets wound up at my 'not listening'.

 

[pap]

Does anyone else have a significant other that says "I was just about to do whatever" when you enquire whether whatever has been done?

 

"No love, you were not just about to do it. You were going to watch another episode of Vampire Diaries, possibly leaving a suspect stain on our leather couch".

[ecuk268]

Mrs ecuk268 is never ready on time whereas I always leave loads of time to get anywhere.

 

I've resorted to saying that "we need to leave at 11.45" when I really mean 12.00 but I think that she rumbled that one years ago.

 

She did admit this morning when she was rushing off to work that, even if she didn't go to bed at all, she still wouldn't be ready in the morning.

[Goatboy]

Does anyone else have a significant other that says "I was just about to do whatever" when you enquire whether whatever has been done?

 

"No love, you were not just about to do it. You were going to watch another episode of Vampire Diaries, possibly leaving a suspect stain on our leather couch".

 

Not another one that likes stuffing her face with cake whilst watching s**t t.v.?

[SNSUN]

It riles my wife that she sees more of Saints live than Norwich.

 

I'm also incredibly lazy when it comes to housework. I get moaned at daily for that. She has mild OCD so I know the housework will get done eventually.

 

Shes a a light sleeper too. The second she snores I wake her up. She hates that. Especially as I sometimes snore but am a deep sleeper so nothing wakes me.

 

TBF I'm a divorce waiting to happen! Still I must be doing something right...

[Halo Stickman]

Mrs ecuk268 is never ready on time ...

 

Mrs Stickman is the complete opposite – she insists on arriving at places hours before we need to. Last year, to my shame, she talked me in to arriving at Exeter airport at 11pm for a flight that wasn’t scheduled to take off until 6am the next morning!

[Smirking_Saint]

Yup, how about mrs SS saying stuff like this, upon getting ready to leave the pub, family gathering etc

 

'Come on then SS lets get going'

 

I get up, say goodbyes, put on shoes etc only to realise she has engaged into conversation with the first person she has said goodbye to, this carries on multiplied by the amount of people in the room at which point I sit back down etc, grab a beer and then out of nowhere

 

'Oi, SS am I still waiting for you !!!'

 

FFS love

[scotty]

Yup, how about mrs SS saying stuff like this, upon getting ready to leave the pub, family gathering etc

 

'Come on then SS lets get going'

 

I get up, say goodbyes, put on shoes etc only to realise she has engaged into conversation with the first person she has said goodbye to, this carries on multiplied by the amount of people in the room at which point I sit back down etc, grab a beer and then out of nowhere

 

'Oi, SS am I still waiting for you !!!'

 

FFS love

 

I feel your pain. Years ago, when this had happened to me once too often, I simply said my goodbyes, told her I'd be in the car, and waited in it. Half an hour later she hopped in and said "lets go then". I said "another few minutes and I'd have already gone." She just laughed. The following family occasion, I did the same thing but gave her 20 minutes and f*cked off home without her. She got a lift home off her sister and came in fuming, she said "you were supposed to be waiting for me", I replied "no, we were supposed to be going home." She hasn't done it since.

[SNSUN]

Me: "What's for dinner love?" Her: "I'm doing a Parsnip and Pancetta Tagliatelle with Garlic Ciabatta. It's your turn to do dinner tomorrow." Me: "Fish and Chips it is then."

 

True Story.

 

Very little annoys me about Mrs SNSUN. Not shabby after 8 years together. I'm too placid.

[pap]

Yup, how about mrs SS saying stuff like this, upon getting ready to leave the pub, family gathering etc

 

'Come on then SS lets get going'

 

I get up, say goodbyes, put on shoes etc only to realise she has engaged into conversation with the first person she has said goodbye to, this carries on multiplied by the amount of people in the room at which point I sit back down etc, grab a beer and then out of nowhere

 

'Oi, SS am I still waiting for you !!!'

 

FFS love

 

Yeah. It's like trying to pull velcro out of a big woolen ball.

Edited 11 April, 2014 by pap

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Oh christ, how did I forget the driving.

 

Recently went away for the weekend and she drove, as I don't have a car (no point living in London).

 

She is the most frustrating driver, overly cautious/slow when she needn't be, then out of no where aggressive and a bit throttle at completely the wrong time.

 

It's also obviously my fault. Like when she is pulling out, turning right onto a 60 road, right into the path of an oncoming Audi which she has not spotted. I scream, terrified for my life as this Audi is charging straight towards me, she then blames me - I should't have shouted (aka made her aware of the massive lump of metal hurtling towards us at 60mph metres from my leg). Or it's my fault that she missed a turn because she is so concerned about the car up her arse (because she's going 20 mph under the speed limit FFS).

 

That 4 hour journey nearly ended our relationship tbh. She is never, ever doing a long-distance drive for us again.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

I feel your pain. Years ago, when this had happened to me once too often, I simply said my goodbyes, told her I'd be in the car, and waited in it. Half an hour later she hopped in and said "lets go then". I said "another few minutes and I'd have already gone." She just laughed. The following family occasion, I did the same thing but gave her 20 minutes and f*cked off home without her. She got a lift home off her sister and came in fuming, she said "you were supposed to be waiting for me", I replied "no, we were supposed to be going home." She hasn't done it since.

 

 

Quality

[CB Saint]

If a man says he's going to do something then there's no need to remind him every six minutes.

QUOTE]

 

Fixed

 

and she is also f*ucking useless at loading the dishwasher properly.

 

Totally This

 

The fact that she insists on showhome cleanilness when really close friends pop by, despite the fact that they never bother to tidy when we go round.

 

Facebook

 

However, surprising as this is, I am no angel.

 

Far ting and snoring.

The fact I can eat an entire meal without using a knife and she can't

Whistling

The fact I don't want to watch other people house hunting on the tv

[Big Bad Bob]

Please do not get me started on my cheating two-timing lying ***** of a soon to be ex-wife

[Special K]

Starting a number of tasks that never get finished. Can't believe the number of times the shopping has been half put away, or the washing up is half done or the beds half made and i've finished it off. Loads of time to spend bunnying to her mother on the phone though. That is always overdone.

 

Driving is also an issue. 50 mph everywhere.

[buctootim]

Please do not get me started on my cheating two-timing lying ***** of a soon to be ex-wife

 

My cheating lying two timing ex wife walked out c7 years ago for greener grass. Now I'm really happy and she's discovered she is still a miserable cow, just in a different field. Plus I'm now a lot better off having lost a lot of financial liabilities (mainly her). Odd how her ****ing long rambling thought processes about how it was all my fault and she'd be happy if only it wasnt for me never panned out.

[Glasgow_Saint]

Wish i had a significant other

 

Just alone in my bedsit again, with my Pompey and Everton shirts for company

[scotty]

Please do not get me started on my cheating two-timing lying ***** of a soon to be ex-wife

 

Hey Bob, how about your cheating two-timing lying ***** of a soon to be ex-wife? Any comments to make about her?

[Goatboy]

Wish i had a significant other

 

Just alone in my bedsit again, with my Pompey and Everton shirts for company

 

[Hatch]

****ging her boss bothered me,

 

but then I ****ged her best friend, that annoyed her some what.

 

A taste of her own medicine me thinks.

[SNSUN]

Wish i had a significant other

 

Just alone in my bedsit again, with my Pompey and Everton shirts for company

 

[Whitey Grandad]

HUSBAND'S TEXT MESSAGE:

 

Darling, a car hit me whilst crossing the road outside the office.

Paula brought me to the hospital.

The Doctors have been making tests and taking X-rays

The blow to my head has been very strong but, fortunately, it seems that it did not cause any permanent brain damage.

But I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate my right foot.

 

 

 

WIFE'S RESPONSE:

Who is Paula?

[Whitey Grandad]

Driving is also an issue. 50 mph everywhere.

 

My wife always drives. I just hold the steering wheel.

[pap]

My wife always drives. I just hold the steering wheel.

 

When giving directions in the passenger seat:-

 

"That way!"

 

Grr.

[CB Saint]

I am pretty convinced that sat nav saved our marriage.

[Goatboy]

I don't know what's going on. We are watching the film together. For the first time.

I may have more of an idea what is going on if I didn't have to listen to your f*****g inane questions all the way through the first hour.

Shut the f**k up and watch the f*****g film.

[Goatboy]

And stop teaching our daughter to ask f*****g stupid questions all the way through the motherf*****g film.

[scotty]

****ging her boss bothered me,

 

but then I ****ged her best friend, that annoyed her some what.

 

A taste of her own medicine me thinks.

 

You must have been some devoted husband if you sh*gged her boss. Respect.

[TwoPints]

All of the above!

 

Sent from my Nexus 10 using Tapatalk

[Bwanamakubwa]

[Goatboy]

 

And when that ***** wakes up I will be hovering over her vacant melon with a rusty chisel.

[pap]

And when that ***** wakes up I will be hovering over her vacant melon with a rusty chisel.

 

Blimey. Goatboy looks primed for the OJ run.

[Goatboy]

[Twiggy]

"Where do you want to go for dinner?"

"I dont mind"

 

I will one day open a restaurant called I don't mind. Make a killing.

[Big Bad Bob]

"Where do you want to go for dinner?"

"I dont mind"

 

I will one day open a restaurant called I don't mind. Make a killing.

 

Me : OK, how about the posh French restaurant

Her : Too fancy and expensive

Me : OK, the Kings Arms

Her : Nah don't fancy that really

Me : The local steak house then

Her : Too busy and the food has really gone down hill

Me : You decide then..

Her : I really don't mind....

[Big Bad Bob]

Her : I'm expecting an email from someone but it hasn't arrived

Me : Check your spam folder it might be in there

Her : How do I do that

Me : I'll do it for you...OK you've got loads of mail in the spam folder that isn't really spam so I've marked it as not spam and it's back in your inbox.

Her : Why have you filled up my inbox, I've just cleared it all out and there's still not the e-mail I was expecting......

[Big Bad Bob]

 

Was Glasgow staying over at yours last night GB??

[Tokyo-Saint]

I have a huge amount of information given to me on a dailly basis about the people she works with, their families, their friends and on occasion, their friend's families. I have never asked for any of this information as I have no plans to meet any of these people. However daily updates are still given, like hollyoaks without the fit birds.

 

When she moved jobs about a year, I told her I was going to delete all of the useless information on the people and their associates from her last job to clear space in my brain about the new lot and she wasn't impressed, "we''ll still remain friends!".

 

Never heard about them again.

[sfc1976]

Secrets to ensure a long marriage:

 

1. Separate bathrooms

2. Sat Nav

3. Regular Infidelity

[badgerx16]

Mrs B doesn't drive, we dont have a dish washer or sat-nav, and we're still happy together after 33 years of marriage.

( PS - she has just persuaded me to part with nearly £1700 on a new titanium framed road bike ). :)

[Barry Sanchez]

Dirty dishes in sink

Not cleaning as you go

Lack of organisation