Colinjb Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 A friend of mine has discovered her 14 year old nephew has got his girlfriend pregnant and tomorrow they go to the abortion clinic. She doesn't know what to do, she believes she should tell his parent but doesn't want to betray said nephews trust. She has asked me for advice but I don't know what to suggest, any pearls of wisdom guys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 It's not her place to tell his parents IMO, but she should tell him she knows and offer herself if he wants to talk about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 A friend of mine has discovered her 14 year old nephew has got his girlfriend pregnant and tomorrow they go to the abortion clinic. She doesn't know what to do, she believes she should tell his parent but doesn't want to betray said nephews trust. She has asked me for advice but I don't know what to suggest, any pearls of wisdom guys? Speak to the parents. They should know what to do!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 I agree with Ponty. It has to be the lad's decision to tell his parents. But she should offer him help and support and gently suggest he tells his parents in his own time, with her there to 'hold his hand', metaphorically speaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saintandy666 Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 Shouldn't tell the parents, it could get her into more trouble than she realises, thats his choice, but she should give all the support she can, but at the end of the day it's his and the girlfriends baby and so it is their choice what to do with it and they have got to live by that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 I agree with Ponty. It has to be the lad's decision to tell his parents. But she should offer him help and support and gently suggest he tells his parents in his own time, with her there to 'hold his hand', metaphorically speaking. I think you've missed the glaring fact that the lad is 14, and so morally[?], legally, and probably ethically, isn't in a position to make those decisions... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 We don't know how old the girlfriend is.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 We don't know how old the girlfriend is.... If she's over 16, she's guilty of statutory rape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 Yes, cos that'd stick if he's a month off 15 and she's 16 by a month. Not everything is black and white WSS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 Yes, cos that'd stick if he's a month off 15 and she's 16 by a month. Not everything is black and white WSS. You have to be over 16 to have consensual sex. I won't try to explain.... http://www.petertatchell.net/age%20of%20consent/consent%20at%2016.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 I appreciate the law WSS, but when was the last time a 16 year old girl was prosecuted for having sex with a 14 year old boy? Besides, what's your point? Should we force (for argument's sake) a pair of 14 year olds to have a baby because they're not old enough to morally choose abortion (in your opinion)? Surely that would just put them on the rocky road to being the type of benefit claimants you despise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 16 December, 2008 Author Share Posted 16 December, 2008 The girlfriend is of the same age. Sorry to miss that detail out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 No worries, unless she was his best friend's mum it was not that exciting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 I appreciate the law WSS, but when was the last time a 16 year old girl was prosecuted for having sex with a 14 year old boy? Besides, what's your point? Should we force (for argument's sake) a pair of 14 year olds to have a baby because they're not old enough to morally choose abortion (in your opinion)? Surely that would just put them on the rocky road to being the type of benefit claimants you despise? Or perhaps their parents should be informed so that they can take the decision as to whether or not the baby should be born. That way they can decide if they also want to support the child until the boy is old enough to work and provide for his family.... Whether or not someone has been prosecuted for a crime doesn't make it any less of a crime does it?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 leave em too it never get involved where you don't have to be has always been sound advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 Or perhaps their parents should be informed so that they can take the decision as to whether or not the baby should be born. That way they can decide if they also want to support the child until the boy is old enough to work and provide for his family.... Whether or not someone has been prosecuted for a crime doesn't make it any less of a crime does it?? I don't see it's their decision tbh, and I don't think the law does either but I could be wrong... Well, no, but I'm starting to think I could claim compo from the 16 year old bird I was knocking off when I was 15... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 I think you've missed the glaring fact that the lad is 14, and so morally[?], legally, and probably ethically, isn't in a position to make those decisions... Be that as it may, he was able to make a physical decision to take a risk, wasn't he (and the girlfriend too). The fact that he's under age in all the areas you list won't turn the clock back. However, if his parents (and hers) know what's happening, and take a decision contrary to what the children want to do, that could cause all sorts of problems later on in life. I'm assuming (and hoping) that the girl's GP has sanctioned the abortion. I don't think GPs have to notify parents in such cases any more. Let's face the stark facts. If the boy (and the girl) have a good relationship with their respective parents, they will have talked the matter through with them. If they haven't got that good relationship, they're probably not going to get the support they so badly need, are they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 I don't see it's their decision tbh, and I don't think the law does either but I could be wrong... Well, no, but I'm starting to think I could claim compo from the 16 year old bird I was knocking off when I was 15... The law has no objections to girls under 16 having an abortion. However, it will require the consent of two doctors, who in normal practice would like to discuss the abortion with the girl's parents. I imagine something like this would be impossible to keep from anything but the most dysfunctional parents anyway, so why not be open and honest from the outset.... http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/health/young_people_health_and_personal.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Sotonic Mills Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 TBF, if it was my daughter, no matter how old the boy was I'd want his b0ll0cks on a silver plate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 TBF, if it was my daughter, no matter how old the boy was I'd want his b0ll0cks on a silver plate. The sentiments of the father of a daughter I have to say I agree - well until my daughter reaches about 30 anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser Soze Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 Tell him to rubber up in future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 Curiously, my daughter is 14, but my first thought was the girl's welfare and not the parents' right to know. I think I'm turning into Robsk... Jeez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 The law has no objections to girls under 16 having an abortion. However, it will require the consent of two doctors, who in normal practice would like to discuss the abortion with the girl's parents. I imagine something like this would be impossible to keep from anything but the most dysfunctional parents anyway, so why not be open and honest from the outset.... http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/health/young_people_health_and_personal.htm But that link says: "If you're under the age of 16, you can have an abortion if two doctors agree that you have good reasons under the abortion laws. You don't need your parent's consent, as long as the doctors believe: you understand the decision, and it would be in your best interests to have an abortion without your parent's consent. However, doctors usually prefer the matter to be discussed with your parents and will try to persuade you to do so". So maybe the doctor has been persuaded that it would be best if the parents didn't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Martini Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 The sentiments of the father of a daughter I have to say I agree - well until my daughter reaches about 30 anyway If your daughter is 30 and she's knocked up by a 14-year old then there some other problems to solve. Anyway, not sure its your friends place to tell the parents but it her place to insist that the nephew talks to his parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pip87 Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 A friend of mine has discovered her 14 year old nephew has got his girlfriend pregnant and tomorrow they go to the abortion clinic. She doesn't know what to do, she believes she should tell his parent but doesn't want to betray said nephews trust. She has asked me for advice but I don't know what to suggest, any pearls of wisdom guys? My personal advice to your friend would be to not tell anyones parents and offer any help getting to the abortion clinic they might need. I'm sure they'll get a good sex education lesson there. The Ella Gordon unit in Portsmouth is very good. It's at St Marys hospital. Easily accessible. As far as i'm aware they don't have the abortion that day - they have a consultation and then go back for the abortion another day. That gives them time to think about all the advice that the clinic gives them. I'm sure they will talk about telling their parents there, and the clinic will give very good advice. Rather than your friend going and telling everyones parents when it could so easily be the totally wrong thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser Soze Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 Some bird I was ****ging got preggers and subsequently had an abortion, it's not the be all and end all, it happens, let them move on and get on with their lifes without making them more complicated than they need to. *Kaiser Soze in sensible advice shocker* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 bag it up before you chuff it up It is my motto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 Some bird I was ****ging got preggers and subsequently had an abortion, it's not the be all and end all, it happens, let them move on and get on with their lifes without making them more complicated than they need to. *Kaiser Soze in sensible advice shocker* How old were you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thedelldays Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 which poster on here was it then..? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 which poster on here was it then..? Probably Buzzin Orn. He's been claiming to be 14 for about 4 years now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Bizzle Posted 16 December, 2008 Share Posted 16 December, 2008 dirty *****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint George Posted 17 December, 2008 Share Posted 17 December, 2008 TBF, if it was my daughter, no matter how old the boy was I'd want his b0ll0cks on a silver plate. Now that's what you'd call "Cruel and Unusual punishment" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Sotonic Mills Posted 17 December, 2008 Share Posted 17 December, 2008 Now that's what you'd call "Cruel and Unusual punishment" Cruel, yes; unusual, no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmel Posted 17 December, 2008 Share Posted 17 December, 2008 TBF, if it was my daughter, no matter how old the boy was I'd want his b0ll0cks on a silver plate. To be fair, they might feel the same about your daughter , for ruining their sons life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_saints Posted 17 December, 2008 Share Posted 17 December, 2008 To be fair, they might feel the same about your daughter , for ruining their sons life DSM's daughter has b0ll0cks?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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