I've moved on, have you?

[Big Bad Bob]

This is a good idea. I think I may start an 'I've moved on, how about you thread?'.

 

FA Cup and League Cup losses to Sunderland? in the past!

 

Cheating ***** of a wife! In the past!

 

See, I've moved on, have you?

 

This thread started in honour of the result of the conjugation between Mohammed and Billy and flushed to TMS before the mods could.

[Goatboy]

When I was young I really wanted a pair of Adidas World Cup. They didn't have my size and I ended up getting a pair of Puma Kings (from Activity).

I liked the Kings but still longed for the three stripe beauties.

However, I have moved on.

Edited 10 March, 2014 by Goatboy

[Whitey Grandad]

When I was young I really wanted a pair of Adidas World Cupl. They didn't have my size and I ended up getting a pair of Puma Kings (from Activity).

I liked the Kings but still longed for the three stripe beauties.

However, I have moved on.

 

But have you forgotten all about them? Of course you haven't, you're mentally scarred for life. On your deathbed you last words will be "Adidas" and somebody will make a famous film about you.

[dubai_phil]

These youngsters simply have no concept of life. Worried about a loss to Sunderland/ Bull Krap.

 

I still wake at night screaming over the fact that English teams were banned from Europe when we came 2nd in the League..

[Smirking_Saint]

Once at work I had a moral dillema, do I risk the fart after a night on the beers and a curry ? I took that chance, grabbed the moment and accepted the consequences.

 

Sweet relief I thought as that wind vibrated my manly buns, a pleasure taken in others misfortune of the whif on pungeant success. This is what it feels to be alive I thought, what it feels to be free.

 

But Id over indulged....

 

Quickly my senses noticed a loosening, damn it man no I screamed in my own mind, a face of victory soon soured and the fear arrived at the same time that the triumphant trumpeting was now dampened to a moist bubble.

 

An overwhelming sense of defeat snatched away my sense of enjoyment as I clamped shut my butcheeks and retired to the loo trying not to draw attention. Horror I found as my 'who ate all the pies' boxers were slowly removed revealing a scene on disaster, the scene of my regret.

 

Hopefully others will learn from my mistakes.

 

 

And yes..... I have moved on

[Goatboy]

Once at work I had a moral dillema, do I risk the fart after a night on the beers and a curry ? I took that chance, grabbed the moment and accepted the consequences.

 

Sweet relief I thought as that wind vibrated my manly buns, a pleasure taken in others misfortune of the whif on pungeant success. This is what it feels to be alive I thought, what it feels to be free.

 

But Id over indulged....

 

Quickly my senses noticed a loosening, damn it man no I screamed in my own mind, a face of victory soon soured and the fear arrived at the same time that the triumphant trumpeting was now dampened to a moist bubble.

 

An overwhelming sense of defeat snatched away my sense of enjoyment as I clamped shut my butcheeks and retired to the loo trying not to draw attention. Horror I found as my 'who ate all the pies' boxers were slowly removed revealing a scene on disaster, the scene of my regret.

 

Hopefully others will learn from my mistakes.

 

 

And yes..... I have moved on

[Special K]

When I was young I really wanted a pair of Adidas World Cup. They didn't have my size and I ended up getting a pair of Puma Kings (from Activity).

I liked the Kings but still longed for the three stripe beauties.

However, I have moved on.

 

Back in the early 80's when i played under tyro league football I really wanted a pair of Adidas Beckenbauer Supers. But my folks were skint and I ended up with a crappy pair of Winfield Specials (Woolworths own)

 

I could have been bitter and not moved on, but no.

 

Undeterred, I got a couple of lads from the Remedial class at school to nick a goodly number of top shelf magazines over a 6 month period, which i sold for a profit to other nippers at the school. Within those 6 months I had enough cash to buy my beloved Beckenbauer Supers (which i grew out of about a year later).

[Lazlo78]

When I was young I really wanted a pair of Adidas World Cup. They didn't have my size and I ended up getting a pair of Puma Kings (from Activity).

I liked the Kings but still longed for the three stripe beauties.

However, I have moved on.

 

So you claim, but from your body language it is clear that you have given up - you have simply lost interest...

[pap]

I finally got my first Optimus Prime at the age of 38, after years of near-misses in the 1980s.

 

He keeps the living room free of Decepticons, but apart from that, wasn't all I'd imagined he'd be.

 

I've moved on.

[Dig Dig]

I haven't been able to get wifi in my bathroom over the last three years which has been a constant source of disappointment and anger to me. Offer just accepted on a new place so hoping to put this whole sorry episode behind me and finally move on.

[pap]

I haven't been able to get wifi in my bathroom over the last three years which has been a constant source of disappointment and anger to me. Offer just accepted on a new place so hoping to put this whole sorry episode behind me and finally move on.

 

Translation: I can't wait to knock one off in my new place.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Dig Dog in Shit wank bathroom bonanza scandal!

 

[dubai_phil]

Once at work I had a moral dillema, do I risk the fart after a night on the beers and a curry ? I took that chance, grabbed the moment and accepted the consequences.

 

Sweet relief I thought as that wind vibrated my manly buns, a pleasure taken in others misfortune of the whif on pungeant success. This is what it feels to be alive I thought, what it feels to be free.

 

But Id over indulged....

 

Quickly my senses noticed a loosening, damn it man no I screamed in my own mind, a face of victory soon soured and the fear arrived at the same time that the triumphant trumpeting was now dampened to a moist bubble.

 

An overwhelming sense of defeat snatched away my sense of enjoyment as I clamped shut my butcheeks and retired to the loo trying not to draw attention. Horror I found as my 'who ate all the pies' boxers were slowly removed revealing a scene on disaster, the scene of my regret.

 

Hopefully others will learn from my mistakes.

 

 

And yes..... I have moved on

 

Are you by any chance an Elevator Mechanic?

 

Equally and randomly, were you in Amsterdam last Wednesday after the Chelski CL match?

 

Just wondering?

 

My shoes are due back from the dry cleaners tomorrow and the stitches in my side should be gone in another 3 or 4 days

[Dig Dig]

Translation: I can't wait to knock one off in my new place.

 

I just wanna have access to you bossing the comments sections on the Guardian whilst on the ****ter.

 

 

And then knock one off.

[Dig Dig]

Dig Dog in Shit wank bathroom bonanza scandal!

 

 

[pap]

I just wanna have access to you bossing the comments sections on the Guardian whilst on the ****ter.

 

And then knock one off.

 

It's seductive sh!t, Dig Dig. My comment has now attracted 164 recommendations. I may knock one off myself if it gets to 200.

[scotty]

Once at work I had a moral dillema, do I risk the fart after a night on the beers and a curry ? I took that chance, grabbed the moment and accepted the consequences.

 

Sweet relief I thought as that wind vibrated my manly buns, a pleasure taken in others misfortune of the whif on pungeant success. This is what it feels to be alive I thought, what it feels to be free.

 

But Id over indulged....

 

Quickly my senses noticed a loosening, damn it man no I screamed in my own mind, a face of victory soon soured and the fear arrived at the same time that the triumphant trumpeting was now dampened to a moist bubble.

 

An overwhelming sense of defeat snatched away my sense of enjoyment as I clamped shut my butcheeks and retired to the loo trying not to draw attention. Horror I found as my 'who ate all the pies' boxers were slowly removed revealing a scene on disaster, the scene of my regret.

 

Hopefully others will learn from my mistakes.

 

 

And yes..... I have moved on

 

..so, basically, you twisted on 19.

[saintbletch]

Back in the early 80's when i played under tyro league football I really wanted a pair of Adidas Beckenbauer Supers. But my folks were skint and I ended up with a crappy pair of Winfield Specials (Woolworths own)

 

I could have been bitter and not moved on, but no.

 

Undeterred, I got a couple of lads from the Remedial class at school to nick a goodly number of top shelf magazines over a 6 month period, which i sold for a profit to other nippers at the school. Within those 6 months I had enough cash to buy my beloved Beckenbauer Supers (which i grew out of about a year later).

 

I could have written the first part of this myself Special K, not the bit where you became a wannabe David Gold by exploiting and degrading women through the trade in **** mags, but the football boot anecdote.

 

I saved up to buy a pair of Beckenbauer Stars (lime green stripe), to replace a pair of (probably) Woolworth's football boots. I say probably because I also remember having a pair of white plastic Woolworth's trainers with red stripes on them, so I might be confusing them.

 

Anyway, the boots that the Beckenbauer Stars replaced had frayed laces, and one PE lesson some clever funster had removed the laces from my boots. As they were frayed they were all but impossible for this 9 year old to re-lace. So I asked a certain Mr Cecil Adams if he could lace them for me. He told me "not to be a baby", and to "do it myself". I think those were his words, it's not as if they are indelibly carved into my soul or anything. I sat there on the cold concrete, trying and failing to lace my boots for the rest of the lesson, sobbing and feeling sorry for myself as my classmates got to kick the ball.

 

Still, my therapist says that I'm mostly over it now.

[Bearsy]

@ smirking

 

i have also shit myself at work so i know this pain. Who else is shit themselves at work? Anyone want to join my + smirking nappy club?

[Goatboy]

@ smirking

 

i have also shit myself at work so i know this pain. Who else is shit themselves at work? Anyone want to join my + smirking nappy club?

 

Sharted in Walkabout.

[Bearsy]

also at "Winfield Specials". I have no idea what they look like, but that strikes me as a genius name for a shit pair of trainers. If ur mum buys you winfield specials you know ur getting beaten up. Is ronseal.

[Smirking_Saint]

Are you by any chance an Elevator Mechanic?

 

Equally and randomly, were you in Amsterdam last Wednesday after the Chelski CL match?

 

Just wondering?

 

My shoes are due back from the dry cleaners tomorrow and the stitches in my side should be gone in another 3 or 4 days

 

Alas Im not an elevator mechanic

 

Im scared of heights...

 

Ive moved on now

[Bearsy]

Sharted in Walkabout.

 

never happened to me on a night out, thank fuck. It weren't so bad at work, i just went home. Ur situation sounds worse as you was right in the middle of chatting up a bird at the time and she goes Strewth m8 that's a bonzer stench fair dinkum

[Goatboy]

never happened to me on a night out, thank fuck. It weren't so bad at work, i just went home. Ur situation sounds worse as you was right in the middle of chatting up a bird at the time and she goes Strewth m8 that's a bonzer stench fair dinkum

 

Completely got away with it. Shuffled to the sh**ter, stripped, had a wipe down, stashed the soiled grundies behind the throne and carried on drinking. I don't get out much.

[Big Bad Bob]

I'm loving this thread, it's so cathartic, apart from the cheating, lying, two-timing bitch wife who I am so over

[Bearsy]

i would post dirty pictures of her on a football forum or something bob. That would learn her. Also demonstrate how over her you are.

[Goatboy]

i would post dirty pictures of her on a football forum or something bob. That would learn her. Also demonstrate how over her you are.

 

I'll post the ones I have of her;)

[Whitey Grandad]

I'll post the ones I have of her;)

 

Is this Goatgirl we're talking about?

[Barry Sanchez]

In the early 1980's roller booting was a big thing if you wanted to be cool, I asked for a pair for my birthday, I wanted a pair like this

 

 

 

what I actually got were these

 

 

I'm over it...........

[Goatboy]

Is this Goatgirl we're talking about?

 

No, Ex Mrs Bad Bob.

[Halo Stickman]

Many years ago, having just split up with my girlfriend, some mates invited me along with them to a night club. They all took their girl friends, so I was the only single bloke in the party. The dance floor had a canopy that was held up with metal poles. Towards the end of the evening, when the slow music began to play, we spotted a young woman dancing with one of the metal poles. She wasn’t doing pole dancing like a pole dancer – she was just doing a slow dance holding on to the pole. Anyway, she looked a bit sad doing this, so my mates thought it would be nice if I went and asked her to dance, and, as she was quite attractive, I thought, why not? So, I casually sauntered across the crowded dance floor and asked her if she would like to dance, to which she replied: “F*** off, I’d rather dance with this pole than with you.”

 

I think I’m over it, but every time I pass some scaffolding or something of that nature I do have a tendency to break to my knees and weep like a school-girl.

[Goatboy]

Many years ago, having just split up with my girlfriend, some mates invited me along with them to a night club. They all took their girl friends, so I was the only single bloke in the party. The dance floor had a canopy that was held up with metal poles. Towards the end of the evening, when the slow music began to play, we spotted a young woman dancing with one of the metal poles. She wasn’t doing pole dancing like a pole dancer – she was just doing a slow dance holding on to the pole. Anyway, she looked a bit sad doing this, so my mates thought it would be nice if I went and asked her to dance, and, as she was quite attractive, I thought, why not? So, I casually sauntered across the crowded dance floor and asked her if she would like to dance, to which she replied: “F*** off, I’d rather dance with this pole than with you.”

 

I think I’m over it, but every time I pass some scaffolding or something of that nature I do have a tendency to break to my knees and weep like a school-girl.

 

[buctootim]

i would post dirty pictures of her on a football forum or something bob. That would learn her. Also demonstrate how over her you are.

 

I'll post the ones I have of her

 

Yep me too. I think we should all post up the compromising pics we have of her to demonstrate how easy and disloyal she was and show our solidarity with BBB.

[Big Bad Bob]

This is how I found out :-

 

 

And this is us on a night out with friends, cheating slut, 2 timing bitch whore on the left :-

 

 

This was the final nail in the coffin :-

 

 

But I'm over it.

[Goatboy]

This is how I found out :-

 

 

And this is us on a night out with friends, cheating slut, 2 timing bitch whore on the left :-

 

 

This was the final nail in the coffin :-

 

 

But I'm over it.

 

Yep. That kitchen floor is filthy. Well rid of her BBB.

[Halo Stickman]

Yep, I see what you mean, 3B, you’re well shot of her in my opinion!

 

BTW, you haven’t got her forwarding address, by any chance?

[Smirking_Saint]

This is how I found out :-

 

 

And this is us on a night out with friends, cheating slut, 2 timing bitch whore on the left :-

 

 

This was the final nail in the coffin :-

 

 

But I'm over it.

 

Is that you against the kitchen side bob ? Certainly not what I was expecting

[Whitey Grandad]

Many years ago, having just split up with my girlfriend, some mates invited me along with them to a night club. They all took their girl friends, so I was the only single bloke in the party. The dance floor had a canopy that was held up with metal poles. Towards the end of the evening, when the slow music began to play, we spotted a young woman dancing with one of the metal poles. She wasn’t doing pole dancing like a pole dancer – she was just doing a slow dance holding on to the pole. Anyway, she looked a bit sad doing this, so my mates thought it would be nice if I went and asked her to dance, and, as she was quite attractive, I thought, why not? So, I casually sauntered across the crowded dance floor and asked her if she would like to dance, to which she replied: “F*** off, I’d rather dance with this pole than with you.”

 

I think I’m over it, but every time I pass some scaffolding or something of that nature I do have a tendency to break to my knees and weep like a school-girl.

 

Yeah, these poles are everywhere these days since they joined the European Union.

[Big Bad Bob]

Yep. That kitchen floor is filthy. Well rid of her BBB.

 

Thanks Goatboy, despite your parentage you're a sound fellow.

Edited 11 March, 2014 by Big Bad Bob
your you're FFS

[Big Bad Bob]

Yep, I see what you mean, 3B, you’re well shot of her in my opinion!

 

BTW, you haven’t got her forwarding address, by any chance?

 

First image Halo my Stickman you can find her there quite easily, she's the one with most hits.

[Big Bad Bob]

Is that you against the kitchen side bob ? Certainly not what I was expecting

 

That was before the operation, I think that was what turned her off me, she was all over me when I was a fit bird, now I'm a bloke with a pneumatic knob she's not interested.

 

I can't get in those Daisy Dukes any more either, but I'm over that too.

[saintbletch]

This is how I found out :-

 

 

And this is us on a night out with friends, cheating slut, 2 timing bitch whore on the left :-

 

 

This was the final nail in the coffin :-

 

 

But I'm over it.

 

Why does she use a red hula hoop every time she's being unfaithful?

 

She's a talented woman though 3B, it's not easy to keep one of them spinning when you're in the middle of gay sex or playing footsie with your friend's partner.

 

Probably.

 

I mean - I'd imagine.

 

**Cough**

[Gemmel]

It would appear that big bad bob, has indeed moved on.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Why does BBB need to be fed? Why Bob, why? Is it cause you insist on being fed in public she started cheating on you with heavy make up lezzer girl and your estate agent mate?

[Goatboy]

Why does BBB need to be fed? Why Bob, why? Is it cause you insist on being fed in public she started cheating on you with heavy make up lezzer girl and your estate agent mate?

 

Little did the Mrs know, he was fisting blondie.

[Tokyo-Saint]

I am guessing she thought something was wrong when he ordered a large plate of donuts for the table.

[John Boy Saint]

Yep. That kitchen floor is filthy. Well rid of her BBB.

Doesn't look like there is anything for tea either..........

[Halo Stickman]

Doesn't look like there is anything for tea either..........

 

… and it doesn’t look like that tee-shirt’s been properly ironed.

 

Everything’s pointing towards this woman being a complete slut.

[buctootim]

Im starting think the whole scene has been staged. One of them is half naked whilst the other one is wearing fur boots. Is it warm in the house or not?

[Halo Stickman]

I was wondering whether it was some weirdly staged porno re-enactment of when Smirking and Bear had to change out of their soiled undergarments – but I can’t spot a sh!tty pair of ‘who ate all the pies’ boxers, so perhaps it isn’t.