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BAP! The Barry & Pap Man-Date Thread - With Photos!


Bearsy
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Oh Jesus Pap, I could if I wanted to but why would I miss out on the fun? I didn't need a photo of you and didn't ask for one, just get on with it mate you will be fine.

 

I really don't understand the reluctance. The rest of the forum will know what you look like by night's end, assuming you turn up.

 

Sort it out.

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I really don't understand the reluctance. The rest of the forum will know what you look like by night's end, assuming you turn up.

 

Sort it out.

 

Will they? I will turn up though, if I were you I would not start taking photo's in a Liverpool pub mate, that is a dangerous idea, I dont mean me or anyone I know but you could be taking a photo of anybody couldn't you?

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Will they? I will turn up though, if I were you I would not start taking photo's in a Liverpool pub mate, that is a dangerous idea, I dont mean me or anyone I know but you could be taking a photo of anybody couldn't you?

 

they don't call him pap for nothing

Paparazzi.jpg

 

Also lol, as if no-one ever took a photo in a liverpool pub ffs

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Will they? I will turn up though, if I were you I would not start taking photo's in a Liverpool pub mate, that is a dangerous idea, I dont mean me or anyone I know but you could be taking a photo of anybody couldn't you?

 

I've lived here for 20 years and taken plenty of photos in much rougher dives.

 

I think your leafy local will be fine, mate.

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Can you believe it!

 

Mrs Stickman’s just rung – she’s been delayed, now due home just after nine. Thing is, rather irritatingly, she insists on a chat when she arrives home. I’m gonna miss the main event FFS. :(

 

Don’t suppose you fellas could move this thing forward or back by 15 mins or so?

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Sigh bitches, my gf was just "what are you so excited about?", I tried to tell her bout pap & Barry Sanchez was getting Full wood at 2105, but she just weren't getting it. Birds just don't understand football I spose.

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And now, for Barry and pap, it’s that period of quiet anticipation, last minute preening in front of the mirror, a little pouting, mood music in the background, checking everything’s in order, trying on different shirts, wondering whether or not to take flowers, rehearsing opening gambits, choosing the right aftershave, and watching the clock tick, tick, tick… oh so damn slowly. All that tension, that bottled-up tension, about to be unleashed.

 

I don’t think I can stand it any longer.

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Is that a dead woman in the background?

 

It's Millais' Ophelia doing an impression of a Kylie Minogue duet with Nick Cave.

 

Barry if the conversation goes quiet, talk about great conspiracy theories, video games or Star Trek.

 

pap, if the conversation goes quiet, talk about how rubbish (gaston|pochettino|lambert|etc) are, 70s comedies or Mavis Riley.

 

pap, please ensure you have the negativity shields set to maximum and bring along some forum meme questions that a ringer wouldn't necessarily know.

 

And if there is a love child from this tryst, can you please call it bletch/bletchina. I would adopt him/her and tell the child that his/her father was a government spy called Gaston, but that he was really $hit and overpaid.

 

P.S. If you could have brought it forward 24+ hours I could have played chaperone. I made it all the way down the East Lancs Road to West Derby yesterday.

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Sigh bitches, my gf was just "what are you so excited about?", I tried to tell her bout pap & Barry Sanchez was getting Full wood at 2105, but she just weren't getting it. Birds just don't understand football I spose.

 

You're right, Bearsy, woman just don't understand - this is man stuff.

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It's Millais' Ophelia doing an impression of a Kylie Minogue duet with Nick Cave.

 

Ah is Ophelia is it? We find that worryingly portentious. We wonder which of our fair maiden's will be tonight's Ophelia? Will it be Barry or Pap stricken mad by grief and rejection and found facedown in Liverpool canal. I mean, we wonder that, me and bletch wonder that. Tokyos wonders if she's someone from Towie.

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20:53 UPDATE: Pap arrives early at the Fulwood and gazes with trepidation at it's outer walls. He has dressed with unusual care and made a special effort with his barnet. I mean it's not been cut or styled or anything, but he ran a brush through. 18 months of flirtation has brought more meaning to this night than he had anticipated, his balls lay heavy in his underpants and he is conscious of their weight as he approaches the grand doors. Pap catches sight of his reflection in the glass and smiles wanly. It is not impossible, he thinks to himself, it may easily be that Barry is shorter than I.

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And that is the final whistle. Barry mocks his team mate Garry by calling him gashy, bemoans the team's spending policy and storms off to the side. As is customary in Liverpool, everyone drinks a pint of milk and talks about Ian rush for 3 minutes....then it's pap time!

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21:00 UPDATE: Lost in the throes of his weekly 5 aside football match Barry was for a time able to put aside all trepidation of what this night would bring. It was only as the final whistle blew that recollection struck him and his proud heart, already thudding with exertion began to scream. Barry sank to his knees, "Oh Mavis Riley," he said, "let this not be pulmonary embolism, they would never believe me were i carted to hospital on this night. I have to make it to my pap. He is waiting." His heart answered and slowed and gradually his senses returned. His team-mates were looking at him questioningly, "Gonna hit the showers, Baz?". "No," said Barry. He was confident in the appeal of his musk. Besides, he didn't want anyone taking pictures of his thing.

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