saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Posted 4 November, 2014 Unfortunately we found that we were sexually incompatible because she's got a Mini Hatch.
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Posted 4 November, 2014 Granada and Popular … are coming to tea. Unfortunately Granddad and Mom can’t make it.
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Posted 4 November, 2014 Sunbeam Alpine To be honest, I could think of better ways to describe him.
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Posted 4 November, 2014 I'm mates with that footballer "Volk", and the other day he and I, his daughter and his bird all went for a drink. Volk and I had a beer, and Volkswagen Sharan each had a Coke. I think I'm going to stop now.
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Posted 4 November, 2014 I think I'm going to stop now. Don't leave me here playing with myself ffs!
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Posted 4 November, 2014 I've just had my footballer mate "Volk" on the phone in tears, telling me that his bird has run off with a guitar legend. So it's true about Volkswagen Santana then... [Did I tell you the one about the Volkswagen Tenuous?]
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Posted 4 November, 2014 I've just had my footballer mate "Volk" on the phone in tears, telling me that his bird has run off with a guitar legend. So it's true about Volkswagen Santana then... [Did I tell you the one about the Volkswagen Tenuous?] On second thoughts, please stop.
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Posted 4 November, 2014 Apparently "Volk's" bird had a limb wasting disease when she was young. Please keep that to yourself, don't tell anyone about Volkswagen Polo.
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Posted 4 November, 2014 On second thoughts, please stop. That's rich coming from you - anal shit mock. I will stop now, as I'm off to the cinema with "Volk" and his bird. When I get back I'll tell you all about Volkswagen Up!
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Posted 4 November, 2014 By the way, what’s the lowdown on Volkswagen-Porsche getting it together?
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Posted 4 November, 2014 Dodge Viper. I will, don't you worry. I've never liked snakes.
saintbletch Posted 4 November, 2014 Author Posted 4 November, 2014 By the way, what’s the lowdown on Volkswagen-Porsche getting it together? I don't know mon petit "La Shitcok Man", but I did hear that Porsche is looking to grab Volkswagen Bora hole in her. If you know what I mean! *If you do, please tell me as I don't. I am going to stop now.
Halo Stickman Posted 4 November, 2014 Posted 4 November, 2014 I am going to stop now. You win. Can we do something other than cars tomorrow?
Halo Stickman Posted 5 November, 2014 Posted 5 November, 2014 That's rich coming from you - anal shit mock. I don't know mon petit "La Shitcok Man", Hey, my dog needs to get its end away, can I borrow you for the day "lent as bitch"?
saintbletch Posted 5 November, 2014 Author Posted 5 November, 2014 Hey, my dog needs to get its end away, can I borrow you for the day "lent as bitch"? Shut it, "Licks a hot man"! BTW Nobody will beat Owl Flyd's Balti Stench.
Halo Stickman Posted 5 November, 2014 Posted 5 November, 2014 Shut it, "Licks a hot man"! Get back to Mr Goodman’s ballroom “bitch at lens”
Halo Stickman Posted 14 November, 2014 Posted 14 November, 2014 John Humphrys? Yes, according to Breakfast Today, Rys enjoyed it very much.
Halo Stickman Posted 14 November, 2014 Posted 14 November, 2014 Justin Webb? Yes, give me 20 minutes or so and I’ll be out again.
Fowllyd Posted 15 November, 2014 Posted 15 November, 2014 Shut it, "Licks a hot man"! BTW Nobody will beat Owl Flyd's Balti Stench. Bart, I am truly honoured (do you mind if I call you Bart? Bartholomew sounds so formal somehow). Incidentally, I did hear that your footballer mate's bird had had a fling with Sir Paul McCartney, but I'm not sure if it's true. Have you heard anything about Volkswagen Beatle?
saintbletch Posted 16 November, 2014 Author Posted 16 November, 2014 Bart, I am truly honoured (do you mind if I call you Bart? Bartholomew sounds so formal somehow). Incidentally, I did hear that your footballer mate's bird had had a fling with Sir Paul McCartney, but I'm not sure if it's true. Have you heard anything about Volkswagen Beatle? I really didn't think anyone else would be 'brave' enough to join in on the tales Volk, his WAG and the carazy things they encounter in their lives. But now you mention it Owly, I've just had a text from Volk telling me that he and his bird have just bought a car that had previously been eaten by a van. Good to know.
buctootim Posted 16 November, 2014 Posted 16 November, 2014 Oysters Kilpatrick. I always had you marked down as educated but common Bletch, not part of the bourgeoisie
saintbletch Posted 16 November, 2014 Author Posted 16 November, 2014 I always had you marked down as educated but common Bletch, not part of the bourgeoisie Sorry to disappoint BTT, but I'm barely educated and common I'm afraid. Who else, but a commoner word grill an oyster? Personally, whilst the similarities of the clitoral hood to the raw oyster aren't lost on me, I'm not sure that that sensation should ever be felt sliding down one's throat. It's like some corrupt conflation of cunnilingus and fellatio - only the bourgeoisie would encourage that.
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Posted 17 November, 2014 Pulled pork? Yes, a couple of drinks and my favourite chat-up line worked a treat.
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Posted 17 November, 2014 Lamb chops Good, I’ve got some logs I need halving.
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Posted 17 November, 2014 Chilli Paneer? Well then put your coat on.
saintbletch Posted 17 November, 2014 Author Posted 17 November, 2014 Bird flu. What's so surprising about that?
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Posted 17 November, 2014 Mad Cow Disease Mrs Stickman gets it every month
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Posted 17 November, 2014 Stiff neck? Yes, that damn Viagra tablet got stuck in my throat
Halo Stickman Posted 17 November, 2014 Posted 17 November, 2014 Influenza Just when I thought I’d never see Enza the Eagle ever again.
saintbletch Posted 5 February, 2015 Author Posted 5 February, 2015 Knowledge is power. France is bacon. ...that would make Mrs. Malaprop proud.
saintbletch Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Posted 13 February, 2015 Coxford_lou? I would, but I'd wipe the seat first.
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Posted 13 February, 2015 Settle an Argument for me Beltch! I am saying that "bass no treble" means fat arse + small boobs, like Jennifer Lopez or Kim Karcrashian or someone like that, whereas Bird At Work says bass means fat & treble just means thin. Can you look this up in ur Book of Words pls and let me Know?
saintbletch Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Posted 13 February, 2015 I've answered that one before on page two, Bear. You are indeed correct. The Bletchley Illustrated English Dictionary (co-authored by the Goddess that is Susie Dent), shows this illustration alongside the definition All ass, not tittie.
Bearsy Posted 13 February, 2015 Posted 13 February, 2015 I have consulted the biggest Arse I know, and he says I am perfectly correct! But Meghan Trainor herself says that- Shush! The Arse-man has spoken!
Coxford_lou Posted 13 February, 2015 Posted 13 February, 2015 I have consulted the biggest Arse I know, and he says I am perfectly correct! HAHAHAHA!!!!!
saintbletch Posted 13 February, 2015 Author Posted 13 February, 2015 I have consulted the biggest Arse I know, and he says I am perfectly correct! But Meghan Trainor herself says that- Shush! The Arse-man has spoken! URWLCM
Big Bad Bob Posted 14 April, 2015 Posted 14 April, 2015 Two mushrooms walk into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." First mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'" Bartender says, "Clever homophonous wordplay aside, I said we don't serve mushrooms." Second mushroom says, "But we're 'fun guys.'" Bartender says, "'Fun guys?' That's not even a homophone."
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