The saintbletch "Hilarious fun with words" thread

[Bearsy]

Forum – as they created this place for him, you’d think um pahars would post more often.

 

ur good at these Halo, ur contributions almost make this thread worth reading!

[Halo Stickman]

ur good at these Halo, ur contributions almost make this thread worth reading!

 

Thanks Bear – see, I fight it but I can’t stop myself.

[pap]

Those plots are a good graphic illustration of something that has long been a source of wonderment to me, namely, how do people with work, family and other commitments find so much time to post on here? It’s not as if pap and Tokyo are even amongst the most frequent posters on here – not by a long way, compared to some, I suspect.

 

Speaking only for myself, I'm a quick typist, don't have a commute and have two teenage kids that are pretty independent.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Tyson Gay, Is he?

[Tokyo-Saint]

Oh sorry forgot me moved on.

[Halo Stickman]

Oh sorry forgot me moved on.

 

Don’t you believe it, Tokes!

 

Russia? No, she likes to take her time.

 

Ukraine your neck this way and you can see my house from here.

 

This is getting so sad, I want to Crimea river

[Tokyo-Saint]

This could go on forever. Gentle Ben, but she like it rough.

[buctootim]

Fanny Flambe and the Smoking Pussies. Skip to 2:45 for the short of attention. Poundland has gone up in my estimation.

[Big Bad Bob]

Jamaica - No she went by herself.

Barbados - Why? What did Bados do?

[Big Bad Bob]

See these spot size things, the big spots indicate a big post but there is no definition on what a big post is! How many words in a big post Bletchy?

[saintbletch]

See these spot size things, the big spots indicate a big post but there is no definition on what a big post is! How many words in a big post Bletchy?

 

Excellent question 3B, and I have to say you're showing great deal of faith in me for not assuming that I'm just randomly making this stuff up.

 

The answer is, as I said below, it isn't very accurate at the moment. You should probably view it as an indication of short posts. i.e. a large dot means an average length and a smaller dot means less than average*.

 

Technically, I'm only getting a sample of the first 200 letters of each post, so a big dot means 200 letters and a small dot means linearly less than that.

 

*conceptually, not mathematically.

[Tokyo-Saint]

That's interesting bletch tell us more.

[saintbletch]

That's interesting bletch tell us more.

 

Well Toke, it's all to do with the Tapatalk API. As I'm sure you can imagine it's designed to minimise resource-expensive searching across a massive dataset. As a result, it only allows a certain amount of data to be readily searched. It's possible to get round this, but I don't want The Man's servers to grind to a halt. Anyway, this means that the Tapatalk API can cache the data that is most commonly used, and it won't have to hit the database every time somebody wants to suck the latest 50 posts down to their phone or tablet. The problem is that is... Toke's a ****.

 

Anyway, here's The Bear. A lot of whitespace = w**king time. (That's working time BTW).

 

How business is he these days?

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

I like how it makes a word of ink like dots. It looks like bear is subliminally trying to spell out 'help me' with his posting pattern.

[Bearsy]

i'm gonna be more selective what times i post so next time bletch looks it will spell fuck boner, or a txt speak word or a misspeeling or something

[Tokyo-Saint]

Check out the Bap intensity as well. You were really excited at that point bear. Must have been a full pack of tissues night.

[saintbletch]

I like how it makes a word of ink like dots. It looks like bear is subliminally trying to spell out 'help me' with his posting pattern.

 

And who gave him permission to have weekends off?

 

Was that you? I thought I had to countersign the request? Must have missed the TMS memo.

 

Anyway, I think Halo should explain his forum hiatus...

 

[Halo Stickman]

Anyway, here's The Bear. A lot of whitespace = w**king time. (That's working time BTW).

 

How business is he these days?

 

 

If white space = work, then Bear is very business in the evenings and at weekends and should show those bubbles to his boss and demand a pay rise.

[Halo Stickman]

And who gave him permission to have weekends off?

 

Was that you? I thought I had to countersign the request? Must have missed the TMS memo.

 

Anyway, I think Halo should explain his forum hiatus...

 

 

That’s when matron took all my toys away for several months because I’d been very naughty

[Tokyo-Saint]

Halo dedicates very set times to his posting and then takes the rest of the week off.

[saintbletch]

Halo dedicates very set times to his posting and then takes the rest of the week off.

 

Look horizontally along The Bear's chart.

 

When he's serving burgers or cutting foam to size, he's serving burgers or cutting foam to size.

 

He's not nipping into cubicle 2 for a quick post.

 

He's very business.

 

But when the 4-Star General in McDonalds gives him some time off, he's on here posting.

[saintbletch]

OK, so this is The Man...

 

 

...and his partner in crime.

 

 

Must try harder!

[saintbletch]

I will try to add some form of correlation with major Saints' events - results, new Chairman, England call up, rumours over stadium expansion.

 

In the meantime, I wonder if someone would like to plot, let's say, wins and losses, on this particular poster's chart.

 

It might also be possible to infer that this particular poster should get out more over the weekend.

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

I like when there is one mental long post at 2am some weekends. These blobs tell their own story.

[saintbletch]

This might take some time to load.

 

Guess which thread this is?

 

Is it me, or is there something spookily DNA-like about it?

 

[Fowllyd]

This might take some time to load.

 

Guess which thread this is?

 

Is it me, or is there something spookily DNA-like about it?

 

 

That can only be the thread of threads, the mighty Pompey Takeover Saga, home to all self-respecting nutjobs for the past five years.

[Halo Stickman]

Is it me, or is there something spookily DNA-like about it?

 

It's life, bletch, but not as we know it.

[saintbletch]

That can only be the thread of threads, the mighty Pompey Takeover Saga, home to all self-respecting nutjobs for the past five years.

 

Exactly so Fowllyd, The Pompeymandias - we looked on their works and despaired.

 

It's an obsession that one.

 

Here are some of it's greatest contributors:

 

That's not bad at 3 posts per day.

 

 

And I think trousers invented the concept of the short and pithy post.

[pap]

And I think trousers invented the concept of the short and pithy post.

 

Is he the person I sue for distress caused by his "children"?

 

I reckon I'm owed about £500K on Batman\DellDays\Brett alone.

[Halo Stickman]

Quick bletch, we need more word games – Tokes is on the main board with MLG trying to organise a TMS quiz about football stadium expansion or some other such nonsense FFS!

[Tokyo-Saint]

They are in league 1 at the moment and were in the championship last year cause Mick McCarthy joined bargain hunt or something. Not bad eh? That's even without revision or multiple choice as MLG promised.

 

It could be like universally challenged on here. MLG would make a good packman, sneering at us as we get the wrong answers and lose 10 points.

[Halo Stickman]

On reflection, Tokes, I suppose it’s got potential for some wacky word wizardry.

[Fowllyd]

Exactly so Fowllyd, The Pompeymandias - we looked on their works and despaired.

 

It's an obsession that one.

 

And I think trousers invented the concept of the short and pithy post.

 

A quote, a screenshot, an emoticon - Trousers is a man of few words on that thread (well, few of his own, anyway).

 

And Ozymandias applies rather splendidly to Pompey:

 

"Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,

The lone and level sands stretch far away"

[Halo Stickman]

And Ozymandias applies rather splendidly to Pompey:

 

"Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,

The lone and level sands stretch far away"

 

Aye, Fowllyd, there’s a sense of Portsmouth remorse and setting sun on that thread. It reminds me of when dear old Morse, approaching the end of his days, sat outside the pub quoting A. E. Houseman to Lewis:

 

Ensanguining the skies

How heavily it dies

Into the west away;

Past touch and sight and sound

Not further to be found,

How hopeless under ground

Falls the remorseful day.

[saintbletch]

OK, for those conspiratorially minded, can these "posts over time" charts help us to identify double accounters?

 

So attempting to fit the evidence to the crime, here's 27% Sarb / Dibden Paedophile Saint / I can't believe it's not Jeff / etc.

 

 

 

Perhaps it's me, but there looks like a horizontal concentration around what I imagine would be lunch time (although the times appear to be slightly out).

 

I'd also suggest that there is a similar level of weekend posting.

 

Oh, and I can also tell that they were both "in Glasgow" at the same time.

[Fowllyd]

OK, for those conspiratorially minded, can these "posts over time" charts help us to identify double accounters?

 

So attempting to fit the evidence to the crime, here's 27% Sarb / Dibden Paedophile Saint / I can't believe it's not Jeff / etc.

 

Perhaps it's me, but there looks like a horizontal concentration around what I imagine would be lunch time (although the times appear to be slightly out).

 

I'd also suggest that there is a similar level of weekend posting.

 

Oh, and I can also tell that they were both "in Glasgow" at the same time.

 

Blimey! I bet the poor bastard can hardly walk.

[saintbletch]

What on earth inspired Mr and Mrs Bagg to give their son Carlos the middle name Tommy?

[Halo Stickman]

The men folk of Barbados gather at the home of Mr and Mrs Freeman to welcome their announcement of Titania Fanny

[Fowllyd]

And why, for the love of god (or why oh why if you prefer a Points of View idiom) did Mr and Mrs O'Prussian-Waugh name their son Francis?

[saintbletch]

Sangakkara, but I forgot the words.

[Halo Stickman]

One in ten of the men folk of an average town in middle England gather at the home of Mr and Mrs Fellows to welcome their announcement of twins Gaye and Nicholas.

[Halo Stickman]

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

 

Ivor Catt and Kat Butcher have ended their relationship citing irreconcilable differences.

 

Butch Mann and Gaye Bird have broken off their engagement.

 

Mister D ick Happy and Little Miss Fanny Shy are to seek counselling.

 

Randy Shepherd and Ivor Ramsbottom are to be married in a civil ceremony on Saturday.

[saintbletch]

Princes Trust. Do they?

[Whitey Grandad]

Milk chocolate? You can't do it - I've tried.

[buctootim]

Champagne? no it really hurts

[crouch mask replica]

Ramparts. The castle is enclosed by bits of male sheep.

[saintbletch]

Chorleywood. Would he?

[Halo Stickman]

but Wood Green?

 

I've missed you, bletch

[saintbletch]

but Wood Green?

 

I've missed you, bletch

 

You too Halo! x

 

What's been happening? Have I missed much?

[pap]

Chorleywood. Would he?

 

Clítheroe. Is he?