The saintbletch "Hilarious fun with words" thread

[saintbletch]

Originally Posted by saintbletch

There was a young man from Caerphilly.

 

Originally Posted by Fowllyd

Who idolised Milli Vanilli

 

Originally Posted by saintbletch

He once mimed to a song.

 

Originally Posted by Fowllyd

Which awakened his schlong

 

And then he was sick from his willy.

[saintbletch]

There was a young lady who'd grunt.

[Halo Stickman]

There was a young lady who'd grunt.

 

The back looks worse than the front

Edited 7 March, 2014 by Halo Stickman

[Halo Stickman]

So when she met a young man

 

(Am I allowed 2 lines in one go?)

[saintbletch]

There was a young lady who'd grunt.

 

The back looks better than the front

 

And as for the smell.

[Halo Stickman]

There was a young lady who'd grunt.

 

The back looks better than the front

 

And as for the smell.

 

That's quite bad as well

[Bearsy]

tHErE wAS A yOUnG pINT Of oRANGE

[Fowllyd]

There was a young lady who'd grunt.

 

The back looks better than the front

 

And as for the smell.

 

If I might quote Jacques Brel

[saintbletch]

There was a young lady who'd grunt.

 

The back looks better than the front

 

And as for the smell.

 

That's quite bad as well

 

After 3 pints I'd still lick her stamp.

[Halo Stickman]

I've changed better to worse because it scans better, or worse, I'm not sure. Choose whichever.

[Halo Stickman]

After 3 pints I'd still lick her stamp.

 

I was gonna say that doesn't rhyme, but I see what you've done there

[Tokyo-Saint]

And then bletch sucked him off

[Bearsy]

there was a young tokyos called banal grape

[saintbletch]

There was a young lady who'd grunt.

 

The back looks worse than the front

 

And as for the smell.

 

If I might quote Jacques Brel

 

"She stinks like a facking skunk"

[Tokyo-Saint]

there was a young tokyos called banal grape

 

Who bathed with his FI Law in spates.

Then along came a bear.....

[Bearsy]

boner boner hair

[saintbletch]

tHErE wAS A yOUnG pINT Of oRANGE

 

Beginners error Bear. You start it, you got to finish it. But I'll humour you.

 

Who set out to climb Mount Blorenge.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Then along came a bear...

[Bearsy]

tHErE wAS A yOUnG pINT Of oRANGE

 

Beginners error Bear. You start it,

 

you got to finish it. But I'll humour you.

 

Who set out to climb Mount Blorenge.

 

And boner boner of big boner

[Fowllyd]

"She stinks like a facking skunk"

 

Yes, I do believe that line appears in a Brel song. Well, it did after I translated it.

[Halo Stickman]

With brown curly hair

[Tokyo-Saint]

Who punched a bar maid and boned someone behind foam cut for you saying it was a travelodge in orange.

[Bearsy]

there was a young tokyos called tokyos

who had anal sex with some blokyos

he didn't get aids

but they did

and that is the end of the limerickyos

[saintbletch]

Anagrams for

 

Neil Custis

 

Or

 

The Sun's Neil Custis

 

?

[Halo Stickman]

Anagrams for

 

Neil Custis

 

Or

 

The Sun's Neil Custis

 

?

 

C u nt is lies

 

or

 

The Sun’s C u nt is lies.

[Halo Stickman]

Banana – she’s a fruit throwing racist.

 

Bandana – she’s into All Kinds of Everything.

[Halo Stickman]

Bondage Marina. 5 knots max.

[saintbletch]

C u nt is lies

 

or

 

The Sun’s C u nt is lies.

 

As he's a journalist, I was drawn to the Bearesque accusatory...

 

Is lies, c*nt!

 

And before I die, I'd really like to go to a Japanese supermarket and buy a couple of...

 

Eel's c*nt sushi tins

 

Mmm. Tasty.

[Halo Stickman]

As he's a journalist, I was drawn to the Bearesque accusatory...

 

Is lies, c*nt!

 

Like that.

 

But if I may be pedantic, I didn’t have an exclamation mark or a comma to work with!

[saintbletch]

Peat Bogs. Does he?

[Tokyo-Saint]

Back to this again? Can we not have more about Turkey man. He bums Turkey, does he? etc

[saintbletch]

EDIT: This was Tokyo-Saint.

 

I've actually got a really, really, really interesting development in my forum analysis to share with the world, Toke.

 

Toke? Toke? Toke?

 

Don't run away. This is fascinating.

 

I've analysed how much time we each waste on here, or to put it another way, how much time we spend away from here.

 

I've plotted each of the last (upto) 500 posts on a graph by day (x axis), hour of the day (y axis), length of post (radius or dot) and day of week (colour of dot).

 

So, guess which complete saddo this is?

 

 

Blue dots = weekday posts

Yellow dots = weekend posts

The larger the dot, the longer the post*

 

*This is only a guideline at the moment and isn't very accurate for technical reasons.

Edited 17 March, 2014 by saintbletch

[notnowcato]

It's a bit blurry - what res you using?? Although if you stare at it long enough a mug appears from the out of focus blobs. Is it Tokyo?

[Tokyo-Saint]

The blue dots spell out Pap but from the title 'complete sado' I am guessing it is any one of us. The lack of weekend post make me think that is might be me.

[Bearsy]

clearly a muppet, you can see a concentration on the midweek evening that coincides with BAP!

 

don't think it's me tho.

[pap]

The blue dots spell out Pap but from the title 'complete sado' I am guessing it is any one of us. The lack of weekend post make me think that is might be me.

 

I'm not as active on weekends either. Been particularly quiet the last couple of weekends. Could be me.

[Tokyo-Saint]

You were involved in Bap thou Pap so can't be you. Most excited Bap viewers were obviously me and bear. It is one of us. The heavy posting after 4pm makes me think it is bear as that's what time the foam cut to size manager goes to watch deal or no deal. However, it is probably me.

[saintbletch]

It's a bit blurry - what res you using?? Although if you stare at it long enough a mug appears from the out of focus blobs. Is it Tokyo?

 

Assuming this is a genuine comment...it's an SVG image To Wanc Onto.

 

This means it should scale automatically as you zoom in. Try opening the image in another window and zooming in.

 

Not surprised you saw a mug though, was it a complete and utter one?

 

The blue dots spell out Pap but from the title 'complete sado' I am guessing it is any one of us. The lack of weekend post make me think that is might be me.

 

Yes Toke, that's your sad posting frequency.

 

Actually you're not as sad as some (or me for that matter)!

[Tokyo-Saint]

To be fair some of the afternoon thickness is the build up to Bap and then the night posting is Bap itself. Can't blame me for that though, that was the forum equivalent to the finale of breaking bad. Everyone logged in for that.

[saintbletch]

EDIT: This was pap.

 

Not sure there is the scope to play the hilarious 'guess the poster' game that we all so enjoyed with the word clouds, but let's see how we go.

 

I'm sure Rain Man pap will work it out somehow.

 

Edited 17 March, 2014 by saintbletch

[pap]

I'm sure Rain Man pap will work it out somehow.

 

Fk, so now I have autism as well as Asperger's?

 

Et tu, bletchus?

[Halo Stickman]

I’m missing out on bletch’s latest chapter of hilarious word fun – try as I might, my silly little netbook won’t open those bloody dot pictures.

 

What can I do?

[Tokyo-Saint]

Just star at the wall for 30 secs and then ask if it is some regular poster. You'll have a fair chance of success.

[Halo Stickman]

If you stare into a mirror in a dimly lit room, so that you can only see a rough outline of your face, after a while your brain fills in the missing bits, but it’s not always you. For instance, the other day I turned into Hannibal Lecter complete with muzzle. So that’s my answer. Is it right, bletch?

[saintbletch]

Fk, so now I have autism as well as Asperger's?

 

Et tu, bletchus?

 

No your autism is turned up to 11, papster.

 

It's bordering on savantism, if I'm a judge.

[saintbletch]

If you stare into a mirror in a dimly lit room, so that you can only see a rough outline of your face, after a while your brain fills in the missing bits, but it’s not always you. For instance, the other day I turned into Hannibal Lecter complete with muzzle. So that’s my answer. Is it right, bletch?

 

Closer than you think Halo.

 

That was pap!

 

It's OK, you're not missing out on much.

 

There are no words, and no real point guessing with these either. Try opening the image in a new tab. Try saving the image to disk and opening it from there. All modern browsers I've tried can open and view an SVG image.

 

I'll upload some more later and name and shame, just to see who is the saddest F5'er on TSW.

[Halo Stickman]

Closer than you think Halo.

 

That was pap!

 

It's OK, you're not missing out on much.

 

There are no words, and no real point guessing with these either. Try opening the image in a new tab. Try saving the image to disk and opening it from there. All modern browsers I've tried can open and view an SVG image.

 

I'll upload some more later and name and shame, just to see who is the saddest F5'er on TSW.

 

Cheers bletch, problem sorted – I was previously browsing with Internet Explorer, which doesn’t seem to open svg files.

 

Those plots are a good graphic illustration of something that has long been a source of wonderment to me, namely, how do people with work, family and other commitments find so much time to post on here? It’s not as if pap and Tokyo are even amongst the most frequent posters on here – not by a long way, compared to some, I suspect.

[badgerx16]

Defence - take down the garden perimeter

 

Designer - man who removes roadside information

 

Despot - acne cream

 

Deliberate - put a parolee back in jail

 

Define - refund a parking ticket

[Halo Stickman]

Forum – as they created this place for him, you’d think um pahars would post more often.

[Halo Stickman]

Fixtures? No, mine's still not working.

Edited 18 March, 2014 by Halo Stickman