The saintbletch "Hilarious fun with words" thread

[saintbletch]

erm i remember getting at least two! I got the one that was trousers + the one that was blakey!

 

All of the other scores seem completely accurate tho i can't see any other omissions.

 

Thank you Bear. I knew I could rely on your level headedness and impartiality to arrive at the conclusion that Toke is a whinging ****-whitted, ****-filled, ****-wearing, ****-fuelled, ****, ****-eating ****.

 

The committee will allow your appeal this one time, but once I, erm we have reviewed the voting, my, erm our decision will be final.

 

You must remember that the head-to-head contest that you had with Toke, doesn't count.

 

BTW did you know that I A STINKY HYPHEN TOO, is an anagram of Tokyo hyphen Saint?

[saintbletch]

Who is this?

 

[Bearsy]

Thank you Bear. I knew I could rely on your level headedness and impartiality to arrive at the conclusion that Toke is a whinging ****-whitted, ****-filled, ****-wearing, ****-fuelled, ****, ****-eating ****.

 

The committee will allow your appeal this one time, but once I, erm we have reviewed the voting, my, erm our decision will be final.

 

You must remember that the head-to-head contest that you had with Toke, doesn't count.

 

BTW did you know that I A STINKY HYPHEN TOO, is an anagram of Tokyo hyphen Saint?

 

SHIT PHONEY KANT YO!

[Tokyo-Saint]

Back on a more sensible topic. Bear, I don't want to set you deadlines or anything but you never got back to me on the porn star with 3 tits. What do you reckon?

[Bearsy]

oh i didn't think it was a real thing tbh. I'm not even that in favour of it, just cos two boobs is more attractive than one it doesn't automatically follow that three boobs is an improvement. Ain't it that cleavage is appealing cos it's resemblance to arse crack? Till they invent 3 bum cheek woman i feel i would have little use for trip boobs.

[pap]

Who is this?

 

 

Mack Rill

[Halo Stickman]

I reckon 602 seems a bit angry about something

[saintbletch]

What we need now is a detailed analysis as to why people like pap are good at word clouds.

 

With a nod to the muppet master-general: WARNING, what follows is not muppetry – at least, not in the finest sense – is a bit wordy, and may contain nuts and b0llocks.

 

Bletch, do you think word clouds (or a future more powerfully refined version) could ever have the potential to solve the debate as to whether or not Shakespeare actually wrote all the stuff attributed to him, or to answer the allegation that Jeffery Archer’s books are written by a team.

 

Also, I read an analogy comparing the journey of an individual’s mind to that of the trajectory of an aeroplane’s flight path, i.e. steep ascent from birth to adulthood, followed by a long level flight, before a steady descent beginning around age 50 (of course, some people’s descent is steeper than others, and some poor sods just drop out of the sky like a stone). As words are supposed to be windows into the mind, I’m wondering, if you used word clouds to chart an author’s career (or even a muppet's career), whether or not they would show a similar profile. Who knows, perhaps, say, Terry Pratchett’s illness could have been picked up by word clouds long before his actual medical diagnosis.

 

Word clouds will eventually do all of that and cure cancer too, Halo!

 

Regarding Shakespeare, it's possible to look at the language used in a specific play or plays and compare it to the language used in other works attributed to Bill. But language changes over the course of an author's lifetime, and in the case of Billy S he was inventing words, phrases, similes and other literary devices in most of his plays. So you'd be coming across unique things in each play. Using common logic, this might point to the fact that he didn't write them all, but in fact it was simply his creativity and the relative immaturity of English that makes the language different from play to play.

 

As I mentioned before, NLP is rarely deterministic, but instead gives indications and inference. That said, I think with Jeffrey Archer's works I would stick my neck out and say that I feel it would in fact be possible to create a corpus of his works, analyse them book by book, look at how he builds sentences, look at how he describes dialogue and then arrive at the conclusion that the bloke is a complete ****.

 

You might even be able to see significant departures in style from book to book and determine that different people are writing it. But if he has different editors that he leans on heavily, you might just be seeing their influence.

 

As for predicting the decline of an author, you might see trends, but if they are writing fiction they'll likely be 'wearing a different voice' for the work anyway. Look at pop acts that have continually attempted to reinvent themselves over time: Bowie, U2, etc. You might look at different parts of their oeuvre and determine that there is a change, a decline, etc. But instead what you are seeing is a conscious attempt to appear different.

[saintbletch]

SHIT PHONEY KANT YO!

 

And incredibly...

 

Saki on tit yo!

[Tokyo-Saint]

oh i didn't think it was a real thing tbh. I'm not even that in favour of it, just cos two boobs is more attractive than one it doesn't automatically follow that three boobs is an improvement. Ain't it that cleavage is appealing cos it's resemblance to arse crack? Till they invent 3 bum cheek woman i feel i would have little use for trip boobs.

 

I thought you might think it was fake which is why I was so annoyed when I lost the gif that had then bouncing. I would have posted it straight away on a lounge thread like this one if it wasn't for those pesky mods. Although GM go away with posting those hairy ******** from that site beltch knew. Wonder if the rules have changed. Give it a go and see what happens bear. I will take full* responsibility.

 

 

 

 

 

*no

[saintbletch]

Mack Rill

 

Correct.

 

I played Rugby with a lad called Spillet who was about 6 foot at the age of 12.

 

He used to demolish everyone and eventually we all stopped chasing peanuts and concentrated on the beautiful game.

 

Mr White the PE teacher tried to handicap him, but it didn't work.

 

I think you're the Word Cloud Spillet pap, I'm going to have to handicap you.

[pap]

Correct.

 

I played Rugby with a lad called Spillet who was about 6 foot at the age of 12.

 

He used to demolish everyone and eventually we all stopped chasing peanuts and concentrated on the beautiful game.

 

Mr White the PE teacher tried to handicap him, but it didn't work.

 

I think you're the Word Cloud Spillet pap, I'm going to have to handicap you.

 

Yeah, I'm thinking of giving it up, bletch.

 

Superiority has been firmly established. Right now, I feel like the bully kicking sand in the eyes of the weak in those Charles Atlas ads.

[saintbletch]

EDIT: Correctly guessed by deano6 as aids victim.

 

From the early days of TMS...

 

pap, play nicely.

 

Edited 6 March, 2014 by saintbletch

[Halo Stickman]

Word clouds will eventually do all of that and cure cancer too, Halo!

 

Regarding Shakespeare, it's possible to look at the language used in a specific play or plays and compare it to the language used in other works attributed to Bill. But language changes over the course of an author's lifetime, and in the case of Billy S he was inventing words, phrases, similes and other literary devices in most of his plays. So you'd be coming across unique things in each play. Using common logic, this might point to the fact that he didn't write them all, but in fact it was simply his creativity and the relative immaturity of English that makes the language different from play to play.

 

As I mentioned before, NLP is rarely deterministic, but instead gives indications and inference. That said, I think with Jeffrey Archer's works I would stick my neck out and say that I feel it would in fact be possible to create a corpus of his works, analyse them book by book, look at how he builds sentences, look at how he describes dialogue and then arrive at the conclusion that the bloke is a complete ****.

 

You might even be able to see significant departures in style from book to book and determine that different people are writing it. But if he has different editors that he leans on heavily, you might just be seeing their influence.

 

As for predicting the decline of an author, you might see trends, but if they are writing fiction they'll likely be 'wearing a different voice' for the work anyway. Look at pop acts that have continually attempted to reinvent themselves over time: Bowie, U2, etc. You might look at different parts of their oeuvre and determine that there is a change, a decline, etc. But instead what you are seeing is a conscious attempt to appear different.

 

Like!

[buctootim]

Correct.

 

I played Rugby with a lad called Spillet who was about 6 foot at the age of 12.

 

He used to demolish everyone and eventually we all stopped chasing peanuts and concentrated on the beautiful game.

 

Mr White the PE teacher tried to handicap him, but it didn't work.

 

 

 

Where and when were you at school Bletchy?

[Tokyo-Saint]

[saintbletch]

Where and when were you at school Bletchy?

 

1841-1849 at Charterhouse, BTT.

 

Or Gosport in the 80s if you prefer (senior school).

 

Do you think you know "The Spillet"?

 

He had a protruding bone in his chest - he called it a pigeon chest and he would run at the opposition and attempt to spear them with it.

 

It was that among other things, which made me realise that despite my own physical suitability for rugby, I should kick the ball instead.

[Halo Stickman]

 

Looks like bletch was a mainboarder back in those days.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Bletch is the teacher at the back. This is the earliest known photograph of him.

 

It's a bit of a sad photo actually, 15 of the children in this photograph unfortunately didn't make it, 1 died of malnutrition, another fell victim of polo, the rest died of boredom in what felt like a never ending word game.

[buctootim]

1841-1849 at Charterhouse, BTT.

 

Or Gosport in the 80s if you prefer (senior school).

 

Do you think you know "The Spillet"?

 

He had a protruding bone in his chest - he called it a pigeon chest and he would run at the opposition and attempt to spear them with it.

 

It was that among other things, which made me realise that despite my own physical suitability for rugby, I should kick the ball instead.

 

I'm sorry to hear you were kept back for three years at Charterhouse. Most people scoot through in five years between 13 and 18 but others are differently abled.

 

I think I was a tad confused. When you posted I remembered playing rugby at school and the name Spillett - but after digging around in some dusty unaccessed for many a long year memories I realised Spillett was a teacher not a pupil. As you were.

[saintbletch]

I'm sorry to hear you were kept back for three years at Charterhouse. Most people scoot through in five years between 13 and 18 but others are differently abled.

 

I think I was a tad confused. When you posted I remembered playing rugby at school and the name Spillett - but after digging around in some dusty unaccessed for many a long year memories I realised Spillett was a teacher not a pupil. As you were.

 

No, not kept back BTT. I only lasted 8 minutes one evening.

 

I've not seen the Spillet for many a year, but I'd find it hard to believe that he made it into teaching - unless the qualification at the end were A Level Psychopathy.

 

He was a good lad, but had absolutely no fear.

[saintbletch]

Bletch is the teacher at the back. This is the earliest known photograph of him.

 

It's a bit of a sad photo actually, 15 of the children in this photograph unfortunately didn't make it, 1 died of malnutrition, another fell victim of polo, the rest died of boredom in what felt like a never ending word game.

 

This polo victim, Toke. Did he get the "mint with the hole" stuck in his throat?

 

Or did he fall off the horse?

 

My pupils said of me "My God he's a boring bastard, but at least he didn't **** off to The Lounge, and he made a determined commitment to keep TMS open".

 

Oh and they also said "Toke's a ****".

[Tokyo-Saint]

He was just too good at the game. His horsemanship was 2nd to none until some b@stard teacher got jealous and "had to handicap him".

[buctootim]

No, not kept back BTT. I only lasted 8 minutes one evening.

 

I've not seen the Spillet for many a year, but I'd find it hard to believe that he made it into teaching - unless the qualification at the end were A Level Psychopathy.

 

He was a good lad, but had absolutely no fear.

 

Could be that the Spillett I had as a teacher was his dad. I wasnt much cop at rugby but there was one kid who used to run with the ball right down the touchline. Several times each game Id chrge into him and push him out of touch , ideally into the onlooking group of teachers. Failing that hook him round the neck as he ran past. Dexter Blackstock would have made some money from me if he'd been playing.

[Halo Stickman]

Bletch is the teacher at the back. This is the earliest known photograph of him.

 

It's a bit of a sad photo actually, 15 of the children in this photograph unfortunately didn't make it, 1 died of malnutrition, another fell victim of polo, the rest died of boredom in what felt like a never ending word game.

 

Yes, it's sad to think of those little kids looking down at us, lost in their own little word clouds

[Tokyo-Saint]

I don't think they all went to hell HS.

[buctootim]

Bletch has always been a dandy.

 

Edited 27 February, 2014 by buctootim

[Halo Stickman]

I don't think they all went to hell HS.

 

You mean some of those little kids ended up in a worse place?

 

Tokyo, please don’t tell me it was the global warming thread FFS! That would be just too sad to contemplate.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Some of them ended up in a sold out gogo bar with a drunken GM fresh from his accountants, bank statements in hand with Beltch and a word puzzle guarding the door. It's a harrowing tale.

[saintbletch]

Bletch has always been a dandy.

 

 

I'm sure you find it hillarious BTT, but you try being that different; that dandy at school.

 

The worst of it was that their jealousy found physical expression. I remember that day well. Stoically sitting still for the camera, knowing that the patter of phlegm hitting the back of your wonderfully coloured cape wasn't going to be the only DNA that you'd be forced to accept once you were locked in the dorm' after vespers and lights out.

 

'Such a pretty mouth Bletch', they would say as they corrupted me, while I corrupted them and the establishment corrupted us all.

 

The library became my salvation and was my salve against the pain of the nighttime favours I'd be forced to endure. But guess what, the "boring old books" were like a crucifix to a vampire. Whilst I had a book in my hand, Tokyo "Stinker" Saint and Brian "I'm hard for you" Earsy would leave me alone.

 

And that's why, day-by-day, I try to pay back the protection that words lent me against the abuse of those two animals.

[Tokyo-Saint]

I think we have found his ghost writer

 

[pap]

The library became my salvation and was my salve against the pain of the nighttime favours I'd be forced to endure. But guess what, the "boring old books" were like a crucifix to a vampire. Whilst I had a book in my hand, Tokyo "Stinker" Saint and Brian "I'm hard for you" Earsy would leave me alone.

 

I'm with you, bletch.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtMgEhqkHoA

 

Disappointed to learn that Tokes is a "stinker"

[Tokyo-Saint]

Another pic fail Pap. Rent some houses and get a decent PC.

[pap]

Another pic fail Pap. Rent some houses and get a decent PC.

 

Yeah, that's something a stinker would say, Tokes.

 

I suggest you review the fixed historical material.

[Tokyo-Saint]

I haven't got 25 minutes 30 seconds to spend on a tales of the unexpected in the middle to the day Pap, you must think I am some kind of waster.

 

On another subject, I am starting to think that Sarb might actually be Sarb and not Simon at all. Unless he is good at remembering to plant cover lines in his furious duels with you.

[pap]

I haven't got 25 minutes 30 seconds to spend on a tales of the unexpected in the middle to the day Pap, you must think I am some kind of waster.

 

Every single one of the regular crew is, Tokes.

 

On another subject, I am starting to think that Sarb might actually be Sarb and not Simon at all. Unless he is good at remembering to plant cover lines in his furious duels with you.

 

Well, it's not that tricky. Still got the whiff of Si, I reckon.

[Deano6]

J. R. Hartley. What, all of them??

[saintbletch]

J. R. Hartley. What, all of them??

 

Welcome Deano6.

 

But surely it's

 

J R Hartley. Are he?

[Deano6]

Do I get my word cloud now?

[saintbletch]

Do I get my word cloud now?

 

Well, as you asked so nicely...

 

 

(I'm trying very hard not to sound like a lecherous gynecologist looking at a particularly interesting and unusual **** here)

 

You have one of the most evenly distributed word clouds I've seen. It means you have a broad use of words and don't repeat too many too often.

[saintbletch]

Gillette fusion. Did she?

 

or

 

Gillette fusion, while Jack just had a burger.

[Halo Stickman]

Gillette fusion, while Jack just had a burger.

 

Did Gill and Fusion gel?

 

That must have made Jack foam.

[Deano6]

Well, as you asked so nicely...

 

 

(I'm trying very hard not to sound like a lecherous gynecologist looking at a particularly interesting and unusual **** here)

 

You have one of the most evenly distributed word clouds I've seen. It means you have a broad use of words and don't repeat too many too often.

 

Thanks Bletchster - I got the smarts!

 

From the early days of TMS...

 

pap, play nicely.

 

 

Was this the one known as Plastic Saint? He used to like a bit of Boj and Jill.

[Bearsy]

Was post #640 deano? I recognise him from his even word distribution. Deano is a man without catchphrase.

 

Edit: Yo!

[Tokyo-Saint]

I think you get double points for doing a register bear, even if they did themself first. This is cept Rally boy as and bigger than my **** would be too obvious. His hope of a Pompey take over is as obvious as a geslga troll. Unless I get his then it counts 10x and automatically makes Pap on 0.

[pap]

I've already sent bletch some of the answers via PM.

 

I'm not publicly playing anymore. All too easy (when you know how).

[buctootim]

How come Deano hasnt got "New York" in 306 point type across the centre?

[saintbletch]

How come Deano hasnt got "New York" in 306 point type across the centre?

 

I thought the same. I was actually tempted to create a manipulated version featuring NY, America, blah, blah, blah, snooker, referee, maths, blah, blah, blah.

 

I suspect that "New" fell fowl of my stop word trap - that removes common words.

[saintbletch]

I've already sent bletch some of the answers via PM.

 

I'm not publicly playing anymore. All too easy (when you know how).

 

In full disclosure, I should admit that I did receive a postal guess from the papster and he was correct.

 

He has graciously agreed not to compete anymore because he's just too good.

[saintbletch]

Thanks Bletchster - I got the smarts!

 

 

 

Was this the one known as Plastic Saint? He used to like a bit of Boj and Jill.

 

Not Plastic Saint, Draino6.