Halo Stickman Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Just wasted 20 minutes queuing at my bank – why the hell have they got four counter positions, but only ever have two of them occupied by staff, except on busy times when they reduce it to one! Anyone else need to offload irritating stuff before the festive spirit of Christmas kicks in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 You don't need to weight yourself naked at the gym unless you are going into the space program. Put some pants on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Anyone else need to offload irritating stuff before the festive spirit of Christmas kicks in? my gf. i think i might of left it too late tho, i've already bought present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Blokes wearing stupid Christmas jumpers because they think it makes them look cool but actually makes them look like twats. 'nuff said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 You don't need to weight yourself naked at the gym unless you are going into the space program. Put some pants on! This !! And old men walking around completely starkers with their shrivvled old balls on display And old people driving !!! Middle lane hogging, underspeed, cutting up senile old gits And Monk and Minty, Im better then them Merry xmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 I am tired and grumpy today so as a result everything and everyone is irritating me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 This !! And old men walking around completely starkers with their shrivvled old balls on display The other day i went to toilet at pub where i watch football and there was old man stood at urinal next to me. He was v.old man like pensioner. He was making kind of a wanking movement so i glanced across to see if he was wanking. He weren't, he was just vigorously shaking drips and it was obv a bit of a job cos he had the biggest penis i ever saw in my life! The thing was ginormous like elephant trunk! I didn't say anything, i just tucked my own gear out of sight and left him to it. When I went back like an hour later for another piss he was still there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 While we are in the gym: Old people: Don't blow dry your balls dry, this is just weird. Don't spit in the drain bit of the pool, it will just make its way back into the pool. If you are standing (usually naked) talking to your mates in front of lockers, keep an eye out for people like me trying to get to their lockers. Young people: Don't dive bomb into the pool people are doing laps on dickheads. Don't stand around the bench press in groups of 6 just chatting. Try not to answer your phone while in the gym. If you do, don't just sit on the equipment chatting at the top of your voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 people in general I just don't like anybody. Everyone annoys me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 The other day i went to toilet at pub where i watch football and there was old man stood at urinal next to me. He was v.old man like pensioner. He was making kind of a wanking movement so i glanced across to see if he was wanking. He weren't, he was just vigorously shaking drips and it was obv a bit of a job cos he had the biggest penis i ever saw in my life! The thing was ginormous like elephant trunk! I didn't say anything, i just tucked my own gear out of sight and left him to it. When I went back like an hour later for another piss he was still there! Fid he have twitchy eyes and fire in his head ? How was his speech etc ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 dunno, i said are you having a stroke? do you need help? He smiled, turned his elephant trunk towards me and said "yes please". But he weren't slurring or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 C*nts. The metaphorical, not literal kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 C*nts. The metaphorical, not literal kind. Knew you was gay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Knew you was gay That also includes thick c*nts Again, metaphorical, not literal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopGun Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People dawdling on pavements. Especially bad at xmas in shopping centres. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Lot's of people say bad things about tight ones but my experience has always been a positive one.* * This does not mean I have a small one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 I want to complain about my wife buying Plenty kitchen roll instead of Cushelle kitchen roll. Granted, the Plenty holds the sperm better, but it's too rough - the Cushelle was softer on my willy tip. I can't complain about it to her face though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People dawdling on pavements. Especially bad at xmas in shopping centres. Women are ninjas at this. The fat ones walk around in small packs, then when they see something interesting in a shop window, move as a group to block the whole pavement. "oh look Barbara, your David would like that." This is what caused 'Hey bitch, get out the way' to be written. Ludacris had a similar situation when shopping in Atlanta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 18 December, 2013 Author Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Men at urinals attempting small talk – I need to concentrate when I’m having a p1ss! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pugwash Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People who walk through the main doors of a shopping mall/airport/hospital and just stop, block the doors and gaze around expecting to be instantly transported to their shop/terminal/ward of choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 18 December, 2013 Author Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Bearsy asking me if I'm having a stroke when I'm w anking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People teaching their kids how to either "pay the man" or use the ticket machine at rush hour. Again, Ludacris springs to mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussexsaint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People who don't have to work all through Christmas, yet insist on trying to force their jollity apon you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 18 December, 2013 Author Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Price tags and barcode labels that stick like sh1t to a blanket Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 My what a lot of old whingers you all are, get yourselves down to the W.I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 18 December, 2013 Author Share Posted 18 December, 2013 My what a lot of old whingers you all are, get yourselves down to the W.I. Windows whinging about whingers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latter day saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People in supermarkets blocking the aisle while they have a chat to their mates for 10 mins. FOAD! Old people who drop their guts in public & just carry on as normal even though everyone in a radius of 10m heard & smelt it Sent from my CnM TouchPad 7DC using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People who start a thread on things that annoy you when we only had a things that annoy us thread a couple of months ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 18 December, 2013 Author Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People who start a thread on things that annoy you when we only had a things that annoy us thread a couple of months ago People who think that every poster has spent the last couple of months reading every thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People who think that every poster has spent the last couple of months reading every thread People that havnt spent the last couple of months reading every thread..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 18 December, 2013 Author Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People that havnt spent the last couple of months reading every thread..... People that have! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People that havnt spent the last couple of months reading every thread..... People that have! I know it's panto season, but the pair of you can stop this immediately, tyvm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halo Stickman Posted 18 December, 2013 Author Share Posted 18 December, 2013 So people that start every conversation with a superfluous co-ordinating conjunction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 I know it's panto season, but the pair of you can stop this immediately, tyvm. Oh no we wont..... Sorry pap, forgot you were a boring old sod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 So people that start every conversation with a superfluous co-ordinating conjunction This! And people loading up supermarket trolleys with ridiculous amounts of food before Christmas. FFS the shops open the next day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussexsaint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Someone looking over your shoulder and pointing out each and every typo as you type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Someone looking over your shoulder and pointing out each and every typo as you type. People who can't type quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussexsaint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 people named after smears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 people named after smears I take it I'm talking to a slow typist I work with far-flung people and frequently have to instant message them. This is fine. Waiting for the response does my f**king head in. One bloke, a fellow programmer if you can believe it, typed so slowly that I could only assume that he had replaced the traditional "finger-based" approach with an unorthodox method of typing only with his cock. And as for the muggles on Facebook, Jesus wept. F*ckers would be quicker sending me a letter in the post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussexsaint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 I take it I'm talking to a slow typist I work with far-flung people and frequently have to instant message them. This is fine. Waiting for the response does my f**king head in. One bloke, a fellow programmer if you can believe it, typed so slowly that I could only assume that he had replaced the traditional "finger-based" approach with an unorthodox method of typing only with his cock. And as for the muggles on Facebook, Jesus wept. F*ckers would be quicker sending me a letter in the post. No I'm not slow but not very accurate. And you are touchy I was talking about my friend Mr Vault and an Aunt Cervical Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People who start a thread on things that annoy you when we only had a things that annoy us thread a couple of months ago yeah it does come up a lot, and everytime i'm compelled to post this: [video=youtube_share;IwrUkeYxUF0]http://youtu.be/IwrUkeYxUF0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Small talk - hate it. It's mostly obvious (the weather) and very dull. Attempts within a workplace to improve morale by instigating "fun" events - away days, BBQs etc. I'd rather work thanksverymuch. Oh, and whilst I'm at it airy fairy concepts like "corporate values" - most don't make any sense such as "We aspire to be the best". Jamie fu(cking Oliver South Africans - now I know this could be racist but I've never met a nice one and the accent (Afrikaans?) makes me want to cut myself and smear salt and lemon in the wound. Obviously there must be nice South Africans around - I think they must stay there though. Cookery programmes - particularly the masterchef type ones. You poncy b*stards. Also, dramatic build ups for who leaves and who stays.. News programmes - now I like news programmes but I hate several things about them. Firstly, the obsession with interviewing the general public who are mostly either ignorant, incoherent or will blindly follow the obvious "public stance" - ie what the Sun tells them. Also outside weather broadcasts - I really don't need to see someone outside to know they are telling the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaMarlin Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Cyclists who cycle on the road when there is an empty cycle lane alongside the road. These are usually the tossbags who think they are Bradley Wiggins and because they have paid a couple of thousand for a hand-crafted Italian bike, all the figure-hugging spandex gear, they think they are too cool to use cycle paths which have been constructed at great expense specifically to stop them getting knocked of their bikes. They have also started wearing Go-Pro head cams now to provide proof if they are the victims of bad driving. I hope the Go-Pros keep whirring when the cyclists pedal through red lights, which never seem to apply to them. Food packaging. There's too much of it, and it's too tough. I expect nature to provide it's own packaging, ranging from bananas - easy to peel - to nuts, which are hard to break into. But there's no f**ing need for supermarkets to make it as hard to get into a pack of meat/cheese/fruit/vegetables than it is to get the drawers off Anne Widdicombe. On occasions, I have given up in frustration (at trying to open the packaging, not getting the virginal anne's knicks off) and just thrown the ravaged but defiantly unopened pack into the bin. Bus drivers/taxi drivers; Yes, you might earn you living from the road, but you don't actually own it. Not unless you can produce a certificate of purchase that shows me you have bought the stretch of road you are being an arsehole on. Tesco petrol stations; Your petrol might be cheap and tempting, but your pumps have actually got to work to allow motorists to put it into the their cars and buy it. And if you offer a 'Pay at pump' option make sure the bloody card readers work. Especially if you are trying to pay with a bloody Tesco credit card!! There's no bloody point in offering a 'Pay at Pump' facility if you still have to go into the kiosk. And in the kiosk, please try and ensure there is more than one till working. Middle-lane hoggers; Yes, I despise them as much as other people. My understanding was that legislation has been brought in to make this an offence. Why haven't I seen the Feds cracking down on this on our motorways.? I'm just getting warmed up now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 South Africans - now I know this could be racist but I've never met a nice one and the accent (Afrikaans?) makes me want to cut myself and smear salt and lemon in the wound. Obviously there must be nice South Africans around - I think they must stay there though. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZjwCmJrnlY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SO16_Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 People who use the wrong words. Example: We should of won that game Knock you of your bike We where all over them Aaargh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 yeah, dem people are sooooo annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 i find them annoying to. Their terrible people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
31cc Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Yeah, they make me loose my temper to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamilton Saint Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 So people that start every conversation with a superfluous co-ordinating conjunction Yes. This is rampant over here in radio interviews. Interviewer will ask question; respondent will begin answer with "So, what we did was ...". Why? I can understand "well", but "so"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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