saintbletch Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 ♫ Down on the Papster ♫ ♫ You're going down on the Papster ♫ ♫ Down on the Papster ♫ ♫ You're going down on the Papster ♫ Secretly Bletch, just between you, me and the 11 lurkers, did you vote for me? Are you like one of those guys that act all macho, spout homophobic shizzle but then spend Saturday night servicing the glory hole in the park toilets. You did didn't you, you dirty little scamp. You love a bit of Tokyo don't you? Undousuru bletch, I've got your number. Vote for you? No. I voted Bear. He's the funny one that you follow around eating his sh!t. I've always been more Morecambe than Wise, more Barker than Corbett, more winner than loser. And as for taunting me about orally pleasuring pap, I'd sooner felate a mate (again) than bite sh!te. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 You voted bear as the MVP? Sure you did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Tokes - your credibility was shot the moment you re-purposed Del Amitri's hit to get at Bletch. Despite the triumphalist tone you've adopted since your victory, it is difficult not to imagine you sat at home listening to "This is how it feels (to be lonely)" on endless repeat. For your sakes, I hope that this is a recent development brought about by the fame and fortune of multiple SWF awards (lonely at the top) and not a permanent state of affairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Inspiral Carpets, Pap, Inspiral Carpets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Inspiral Carpets, Pap, Inspiral Carpets. Right you are. You should add the Del Amitri one to your list though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Added. BTW - thanks for the vote. I also voted for you as lounger of the year etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 You voted bear as the MVP? Sure you did. Toke, I think you've shared an image from your \DeleteIfRaidedByOperationCeop folder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Del Amitri? Is he one of NC's mates? Where does he play? Is he mentioned in the HCDAJFU thread? Is this Pap's late sad attempt to be more ITK than Monk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Thanks for the vote Phil, Dubai Saints forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 I once saw Del Amitri perform at a music "festival" in Gosport. The lead singer sang Ace of Spades whilst doing an impression of Lemmy from Motorhead by climbing a step ladder to stretch his throat to sing into a microphone that was 10 feet off the ground. That's Rock 'n Roll. Used to love Del Amitri... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lets B Avenue Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 I once saw Del Amitri perform at a music "festival" in Gosport. The lead singer sang Ace of Spades whilst doing an impression of Lemmy from Motorhead by climbing a step ladder to stretch his throat to sing into a microphone that was 10 feet off the ground. That's Rock 'n Roll. Used to love Del Amitri... They were in Lovejoy once. (Not a euphemism, although I can't guarantee that.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 They were in Lovejoy once. (Not a euphemism, although I can't guarantee that.) Weren't fans of the show, though. "nothing ever happens", apparently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lets B Avenue Posted 18 December, 2013 Share Posted 18 December, 2013 Weren't fans of the show, though. "nothing ever happens", apparently. Bug ger! I'm "always the last to know". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Boy Saint Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 Bloody hell! Fame at last and on the Muppet Show too!!! That is worth so much alone!! For the record, boy was he getting on my tits!!(if you hadn't noticed at the time, and the silly aR$e tried it on again the other day!). Thank you and Merry Christmas!! not sure it would have been in my personal top 5, but the masses is spoken and it turns out there is nothing they enjoy more than watching turkish get ironed out by John Boy Saint with sub-standard pastie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 Thanks for the vote Phil, Dubai Saints forever! As you are now such a fan, make sure you find a way to acquire a Matchday Programme on Sunday. I'll make sure it gets signed for you #GLOBALSFC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussexsaint Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 Is b!tch on right controlling him with little toggle on back of his head? Does Japanese men has that? Like eagle eyes action men? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldNick Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 As you are now such a fan, make sure you find a way to acquire a Matchday Programme on Sunday. I'll make sure it gets signed for you #GLOBALSFC OMG please dont tell me your mug is in the programme, if it is the St Johns ambulance there will be overworked as people will be putting pins in their eyes to avoid having to look. Is it a feature on Dubai Saints or golf or just about you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 (edited) OMG please dont tell me your mug is in the programme, if it is the St Johns ambulance there will be overworked as people will be putting pins in their eyes to avoid having to look. Is it a feature on Dubai Saints or golf or just about you? Pah you ain't pinning the blame on me for this one. This is down to #GLOBALSFC and of course the outstandingly awesome Aussiesaint. In fact it (should) be a collectors item as (it was planned) to actually have a photo of MLT in it. (Will it sneak past NC's editing room scissors we all ask?) Oh and yes, it MAY well mention Golf.... I have to think of Turkish, we know he loves the golf stories so much On the subject of Golf, have I mentioned the Ryder Cup yet? Edited 19 December, 2013 by dubai_phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldNick Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 Pah you ain't pinning the blame on me for this one. This is down to #GLOBALSFC and of course the outstandingly awesome Aussiesaint. In fact it (should) be a collectors item as (it was planned) to actually have a photo of MLT in it. (Will it sneak past NC's editing room scissors we all ask?) Oh and yes, it MAY well mention Golf.... I have to think of Turkish, we know he loves the golf stories so much On the subject of Golf, have I mentioned the Ryder Cup yet?which Ryder cup are you talking about,the only one you havent mentioned is the one in a decades time. I have managed to train myself to go into a coma when you start on one of your golf episodes,as interesting they are .......to you, I then snap out as soon as you get to the more interesting stuff like the attractive young ladies that you pictured at the pub. Is there a pic of you in the programme,if so I do hope you did a David Brent pose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 which Ryder cup are you talking about,the only one you havent mentioned is the one in a decades time. I have managed to train myself to go into a coma when you start on one of your golf episodes,as interesting they are .......to you, I then snap out as soon as you get to the more interesting stuff like the attractive young ladies that you pictured at the pub. Is there a pic of you in the programme,if so I do hope you did a David Brent pose There should be a picture of the ladies in the programme. The editor accessed our FB & Twitter pages for the images to use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 The decision to vote for myself in all categories, while seemingly amusing at the time, has now been shown to be as stupid as I had hoped it wouldn't look. Please reverse my votes and change all of them to Dubai_Phil pls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 The decision to vote for myself in all categories, while seemingly amusing at the time, has now been shown to be as stupid as I had hoped it wouldn't look. Please reverse my votes and change all of them to Dubai_Phil pls. Noooooooooooooo. If you do that, Paul McGinley will have to get his Abacus out again to recalculate his Ryder Cup Standings. On a quick check a revote could cost a Molinari a place in the team. Then we wouldn't have proper Golf Song to sing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Boy Saint Posted 19 December, 2013 Share Posted 19 December, 2013 Pah you ain't pinning the blame on me for this one. This is down to #GLOBALSFC and of course the outstandingly awesome Aussiesaint. In fact it (should) be a collectors item as (it was planned) to actually have a photo of MLT in it. (Will it sneak past NC's editing room scissors we all ask?) Oh and yes, it MAY well mention Golf.... I have to think of Turkish, we know he loves the golf stories so much On the subject of Golf, have I mentioned the Ryder Cup yet? A mate of mine is a senior Marshall for that, as he was at Merion didn't get paid but all flights accom and grub covered. He told Rory to run to the 1st Tee on the last day when he turned up late and begged for a lift in the buggy the 100yrds to the first tee. He responded "no, you've had plenty of sleep, a nice ride in a Police car, now you had better run and get yourself woken up". Which took him aback, and figured running was quicker than arguing then disappeared. My mate is an old boy with more front than Blackpool and absolutely no reason to doubt his tail, the amount if times we gave seen him in action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 (edited) A mate of mine is a senior Marshall for that, as he was at Merion didn't get paid but all flights accom and grub covered. He told Rory to run to the 1st Tee on the last day when he turned up late and begged for a lift in the buggy the 100yrds to the first tee. He responded "no, you've had plenty of sleep, a nice ride in a Police car, now you had better run and get yourself woken up". Which took him aback, and figured running was quicker than arguing then disappeared. My mate is an old boy with more front than Blackpool and absolutely no reason to doubt his tail, the amount if times we gave seen him in action. Now THAT is a Golf Story. It would be believable apart from the flights & accomodation paid for bit. A pal once did the Presidents Cup - he had to pay for it. I certainly read that the Gleneagles gig costs Volunteers 150 quid for the uniform & they STILL have to use the Park & Ride, don't even get a Parking space! The only job like that which normally pays is the TV Crew (driving the buggies, holding the mikes etc) that pays 25 quid a day. Unless of course your mate was THE MAN. In which case why the **** are you not leveraging him to make a fortune out of selling Tickets? You could afford to BUY the Catering Company FFS the few left are going for around a Grand a DAY! (although mind you, he probably told his misses that the flights etc were paid for, as telling her you are taking a week+ off to go that far and work at the golf without her might just prove a tough sell.....) Edited 20 December, 2013 by dubai_phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldNick Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Now THAT is a Golf Story. It would be believable apart from the flights & accomodation paid for bit. A pal once did the Presidents Cup - he had to pay for it. I certainly read that the Gleneagles gig costs Volunteers 150 quid for the uniform & they STILL have to use the Park & Ride, don't even get a Parking space! The only job like that which normally pays is the TV Crew (driving the buggies, holding the mikes etc) that pays 25 quid a day. Unless of course your mate was THE MAN. In which case why the **** are you not leveraging him to make a fortune out of selling Tickets? You could afford to BUY the Catering Company FFS the few left are going for around a Grand a DAY! (although mind you, he probably told his misses that the flights etc were paid for, as telling her you are taking a week+ off to go that far and work at the golf without her might just prove a tough sell.....) Phil, surely the guys holding the mikes etc would be employed by the tv companies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Did dubai_philip just point out that someone else's golfing story was too fantastic to believe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldNick Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Did dubai_philip just point out that someone else's golfing story was too fantastic to believe?Lol, I can vouch for Phil, hos stories about golf are true. I have seen the pictures and he kindly got me a signed pic for a client with the worlds top golfers on it. Very special it was too, fortunately the signed picture of himself I did not pass on but I put it above the aga to stop the grandchild getting too close. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Phil, surely the guys holding the mikes etc would be employed by the tv companies? Nah. Volunteers sign up for tournaments through the event web sites. You indicate the number of days you can work and a preference for TV. TV needs 5 clear days. As it is the TV Production Team fly up to 40 people to every event. It simply isn't worth the cost of flying the rest. At the Ryder Cup & British Open for example there are well over 75 volunteers working TV for all the different stations. European Tour Productions then provide the Infrastructure on the course and The Golf Channel provides the production and Commentary team. The On Course team comprise the Cameramen - about 6 work in the Towers on each hole and rotate to be at the holes of the chosen "Group" that are being followed. There are then normally 3 mobile crews, one with the XMo Camera that does all the Slo-Mo work Then you have the Production Team, the Techies who make sure all the batteries are charged up, fix things when Volunteers break them and also lay out around 80kms of cabling around the course before the event. At the larger events, Sky send a commentary team as well as two extra mobile crews. There are about 80 people involved full time from Fit Chick Interns who do all the Managing & Organisation (Hotel bookings. Transport, Visas, Flights etc. The actual crew are on the road around 40 weeks a year, the mobile guys usually more than that. The Golf Channel Commentary Crew, Doogie Donnelly, Renton Laidlaw, Mark Warren, Julian Tutt, Ken Brown & Jay Haas rotate the events they cover. You'll hear them at the "smaller events on Sky each weekend, then the Sky Crew of Boxie, Howard Clark, Sam Torrance etc roll in for the proper big stuff. At an actual Tournament up to another 30 staff are needed for TV Moble Crew Drivers - they drive the buggies and set up the Tripods around the greens etc Antenna Holders - often connected to the camera, they hold the pole so the WiFi signal gets back to the mobile Studio Mike Holders - They stand by the players with the big fluffy mikes so you can hear the likes of Tiger swearing Spotters - between 6 & 8 people who walk ahead of the playing group, walk out to see which ball landed where (or find it if they hit a rubbish shot). They then call in the Shot Order so that the TV Producer knows what is going on - eg Match 23 Hole 7 2nd Shot Order X, then Y, then Z. From that you then see the image on the TV screen with those little signs that come up and say things like Birdie Putt and the Producer knows something is about to happen and can switch to the correct camera. Training usually takes an hour, Drivers need to be regular players on the course (they have to know where to go) Spotters need to have actually played golf and be able to recognise the actual players the Mike crew need to have a brain to make sure they aren't too close or their shadows are in the way, and the Antenna holders are usually numpties. (I'll put your name down for that if you like Nick?) All those guys are Volunteers, but because they are working for TV they get the 100 quid for the week. The normal Volunteer crews (down here) get about 100 quid's worth of Golf Gear (eg Greg Norman Event Branded Golf Shirts, a Jacket, Hat), free food all week, free admission (in Abu Dhabi & Dubai Desert Classic THAT saves 80 odd quid for an admission ticket) Then about a month after the event they have a Volunteers Golf Day so you get a free round of Golf (worth 140 quid here in the winter), Dinner and free booze. Net Month I will write an essay on the OTHER voluntary jobs that make big events happen. 3,600 Volunteers at The Ryder Cup for example Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Did dubai_philip just point out that someone else's golfing story was too fantastic to believe? It WAS a great story. It just had the one tiny technical error. However, IF I was ever deemed important enough to be called up to play in The Ryder Cup, it would cost me a bloody fortune to get to Scotland and find a field for a tent for a week, so I would probably spread the tiny Porky that "everything was paid for" to ensure I did not get at worst a knife in the guts from Mrs D_P or at best a bill for some fook off huge present to make up for it. Oh Nick? Does your man still want a Tiger one? He won't put a name on it but can get one at end of Jan if you need it. Mind you these days he has to pay US to accept something he has signed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Lol, I can vouch for Phil, hos stories about golf are true. I have seen the pictures and he kindly got me a signed pic for a client with the worlds top golfers on it. Very special it was too, fortunately the signed picture of himself I did not pass on but I put it above the aga to stop the grandchild getting too close. Not suggesting that dubai_philip was stretching the truth, OldNkck. I well remember the story from the Munich beer festival where he was called out by someone (Turkish? CB Fry?) and then he produced photographic evidence. It was just the fact that he suggested someone else's golfing story wasn't true that made me smile. In fact thinking about it, the Munich incident should have been in the poll for event of the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 It WAS a great story. It just had the one tiny technical error. However, IF I was ever deemed important enough to be called up to play in The Ryder Cup, it would cost me a bloody fortune to get to Scotland and find a field for a tent for a week, so I would probably spread the tiny Porky that "everything was paid for" to ensure I did not get at worst a knife in the guts from Mrs D_P or at best a bill for some fook off huge present to make up for it. Oh Nick? Does your man still want a Tiger one? He won't put a name on it but can get one at end of Jan if you need it. Mind you these days he has to pay US to accept something he has signed Which thread was the beer festival incident in, dubai_philip? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Not suggesting that dubai_philip was stretching the truth, OldNkck. I well remember the story from the Munich beer festival where he was called out by someone (Turkish? CB Fry?) and then he produced photographic evidence. It was just the fact that he suggested someone else's golfing story wasn't true that made me smile. In fact thinking about it, the Munich incident should have been in the poll for event of the year. This dubai_phillip thing is very presumptious, bletch. What if the full form is dubai_philomena, and our Dubai-based poster is just pretending to be a bloke so she gets basic human rights? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 This dubai_phillip thing is very presumptious, bletch. What if the full form is dubai_philomena, and our Dubai-based poster is just pretending to be a bloke so she gets basic human rights? Good points papadopoulous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Which thread was the beer festival incident in, dubai_philip? FFS it was my Stag weekend. I still have blank days even now. It would have been end of April sometime, Fruhligungs Fest or something. Son-in-Law had his Stag there in 2012, mine was this year. Word is the two gangs are planning a combined re-union tour for next April. Everyone on TSW was invited and Positivepete made it across. (Although he has never been the same since his unfortunate PTS Face Paint incident) Will let TMS know the details for the next one in case there are any that fancy trying Stenkelfish or teaching Bayern fans the AL song in Hofbrauhaus. And Pap. Just get the programme on Sunday and read the Golf story, don't try and send me down no Ladyboy Phil road, you'll only end up entering yourself for next year's rinsed award. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Can the c**t of the year award be a shared accolade? Yes. Barry Sanchez, Dune & Stanley have won it already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldNick Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 It WAS a great story. It just had the one tiny technical error. However, IF I was ever deemed important enough to be called up to play in The Ryder Cup, it would cost me a bloody fortune to get to Scotland and find a field for a tent for a week, so I would probably spread the tiny Porky that "everything was paid for" to ensure I did not get at worst a knife in the guts from Mrs D_P or at best a bill for some fook off huge present to make up for it. Oh Nick? Does your man still want a Tiger one? He won't put a name on it but can get one at end of Jan if you need it. Mind you these days he has to pay US to accept something he has signedit would be great if possible, to Craig if you can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 (edited) Mention golf again, I dare you, I double dare you again muthafuka. Say it one more time. Edited 20 December, 2013 by Tokyo-Saint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lets B Avenue Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 . and absolutely no reason to doubt his tail, Animal? Lizard? Freak? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Boy Saint Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Animal? Lizard? Freak? Nope APPLE - Make You Look A Tit Autocorrect: not double checked by the Tit being corrected! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 20 December, 2013 Share Posted 20 December, 2013 Nope APPLE - Make You Look A Tit Autocorrect: not double checked by the Tit being corrected! Oh FINALLY Back on TMS ground. As you mentioned Tits here are some as approved by our local censors Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 25 December, 2013 Share Posted 25 December, 2013 Is it too late to change my vote for "Fallen Comrade" from 'their all c*nts' to 'Dog'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohio Saint Posted 26 December, 2013 Share Posted 26 December, 2013 I'm not sure if it's the boobies or the Portsea Island IQ she obviously has.......But something is working for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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