bridge too far Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/oct/22/a-z-modern-office-jargon?CMP=fb_gu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Too many. I've heard "annual leave", "close of play", "drill down", "expectations", "going forward", "heads up", "issues" ( very recent ), "leverage", "take this offline", "paradigm shift" and "workshop". The movie Office Space continues to ascend my all-time charts, not because it is a particularly amazing film, but because it accurately reflects office life in a big corp. It gets funnier the longer I'm employed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 23 October, 2013 Author Share Posted 23 October, 2013 My personal 'hate' is 'going forward' but I was amused to hear my very ambitious daughter talking about a recent business case she'd written and how she'd have to 'back fill' a position! I said I thought that was taking the whole casting couch scenario a bit too far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaysaint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 My personal 'hate' is 'going forward' but I was amused to hear my very ambitious daughter talking about a recent business case she'd written and how she'd have to 'back fill' a position! I said I thought that was taking the whole casting couch scenario a bit too far I dislike "if you could just go ahead and...", which is very much in the "going forward" school. US managers say it all the time. I'd rather just be told what to do. "Level-set" is another new one which annoys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Too many. I've heard "annual leave", "close of play", "drill down", "expectations", "going forward", "heads up", "issues" ( very recent ), "leverage", "take this offline", "paradigm shift" and "workshop". The movie Office Space continues to ascend my all-time charts, not because it is a particularly amazing film, but because it accurately reflects office life in a big corp. It gets funnier the longer I'm employed. Totally love Office Space, it should be on every office workers "to watch" list. I hate buzz words and refuse to use them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Totally love Office Space, it should be on every office workers "to watch" list. I hate buzz words and refuse to use them. Yeah, it hits a load of stuff that people will identify with. When Peter starts telling the truth and speaks of having five or six different managers, I thought "that's my life right there". I find myself using buzzwords. The appropriate amount of self-loathing ensues when I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Put this one to bed Push Back Blue Sky Thinking Think outside of the box Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Put this one to bed Push Back Blue Sky Thinking Think outside of the box Four out of four. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 There was a certain, odious, manager at a place where I worked. He always wanted to dissect and layout our department's actions during a breakdown. It was more like a name and blame game to be honest. After one such occurrence he asked the supervisor, loudly in front of us, to get us all together for a 'debrief'. He took umbrage with me when I involuntarily uttered "Oh here we go, another blamestorming session". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 There was a certain, odious, manager at a place where I worked. He always wanted to dissect and layout our department's actions during a breakdown. It was more like a name and blame game to be honest. After one such occurrence he asked the supervisor, loudly in front of us, to get us all together for a 'debrief'. He took umbrage with me when I involuntarily uttered "Oh here we go, another blamestorming session". Our place can be broadly divided into do-ers and say-ers. All the do-ers have been around donkey's years. The say-ers are lucky to last a few years, if that. It's only really people who are sharp political operators that manage to make a long-term career out of it. It'd be one of my points of difference with Ed Miliband. He goes on about the privileged few earning £150K+. It is a lot of money, but it's damn hard to keep commanding that in most corporate environments, even if you do have skill with the blame-cannon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Blue Sky Thinking When does 'blue sky thinking' cross into Cloud Cuckoo Land ? A question that I saw asked in a managerial job advertisement was 'Are all your ducks in a row?". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 "We need to operationalise the plan" - is doing the rounds, even funnier when the biggest proponant of it mispronounces it all the time. Have probably used most of that lot at one point or another. you forget yourself and get sucked into the business culture. You only realise it has happen when you go home and the wife asks you what the eff you are talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Ive used annual leave, going forward and issues Thankfully I dont work in an office so dont have to worry about what some of the latest 'buzz words' are. Being on the engineering side and sitting with middle managers sometimes I have to ask what the '****' they are going on about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Being on the engineering side and sitting with middle managers sometimes I have to ask what the '****' they are going on about. But aren't you sometimes tempted to converse in engineering acronyms to get your own back ? I know that in conversing with less IT "techy" colleagues/customers I often have to convert what I want to say into 'real' English. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Ive used annual leave, going forward and issues Thankfully I dont work in an office so dont have to worry about what some of the latest 'buzz words' are. Being on the engineering side and sitting with middle managers sometimes I have to ask what the '****' they are going on about. Having a services background (my dad) I always associate Annual Leave with the services so won't use it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelvinsRightGlove Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 "Reach out", "moving forward" and "Diarise" are the ones that make my skin crawl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clapham Saint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Replacing the words "problem" or "difficulty" with "challenge" irritates the cr a p out of me. "Our challenge in moving this forward is to ensure that when we run it up the flagpole everybody salutes". Grrrrr..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 23 October, 2013 Author Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Not on that list but I hate 'have a conversation'. Err no - just 'talk to' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmel Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 LOL - A few! Annual leave - Working for an American company this is what it is called and refered to. Take Offline - Not sure why this would be scorned at, used very often and the nicest way of saying, we will discuss it later, now is not the time, or it will become a conversation that is not expected to be repeated or quoted. Sunset - Just a standard word in Software for discontinuing a product or version. BUT..... If anyone; Client or colleague said; "Blue sky thinking" or "Run this up the flag pole" I would either laugh or punch them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Annual leave-The company use this, I still refuse and call it holiday. Close of play-I get emails with COP on. Drill down-Used all the time, basically a holding statement when I haven't a clue why things aren't going to plan. "I'm going to drill down into the numbers and get back to you". Expectations- This one winds me up. I don't use it myself but I'm always hearing about people more senior than me's "expectations" (particularly when they're due to return from "annual leave"). Going forward-I use this to my guys a lot. Heads up-Again I use this a lot. One not on the list, that gets to me every time with my company using it incessantly is "opportunities". Which is basically a rollocking about something. My opportunities this month were my staff's appraisals as I'm behind on them, it's a sugar coated "you need to do this ASAP". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Annual leave - it's what it's refered to here. Heads Up - Common forces expression so still used by me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WindsorSaint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Heads Up - Common forces expression so still used by me. Wouldn't "Heads down" be more appropriate?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmel Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Wouldn't "Heads down" be more appropriate?! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjsaint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Annual leave, as my salary prohibits travel. Backfill, but it means something very different (my wife allows backfill on my birthday and sometimes Valentines Day) Heads up, from too much CSI in my early 30s. Zero cycles, what my anorexic ex-girlfriend now has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 The worst - Actually a concept rather than a vvank word - is duvet days. In otherwords you are an idle fecker who got lagered up last night and unless I give you extra days off, you are going to pull a sickie any way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmel Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 The worst - Actually a concept rather than a vvank word - is duvet days. In otherwords you are an idle fecker who got lagered up last night and unless I give you extra days off, you are going to pull a sickie any way Thats not really the concept of duvet days....... **** saying but the concept is actually ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viking Warrior Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 The following is a statement from The scottish Government What it reall means is that when procuring services you should consider local business how ever you have tosay and do this There is duty considering, before the commencement of a procurement exercise, how, the procurement exercise might improve the economic, social and environmental well-being of the authority’s area. It also requires a contracting authority to consider how, by the way it conducts the procurement process, it might facilitate the involvement of small and medium enterprises, third sector bodies and supported businesses, and also how it can promote innovation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 But aren't you sometimes tempted to converse in engineering acronyms to get your own back ? I know that in conversing with less IT "techy" colleagues/customers I often have to convert what I want to say into 'real' English. I sometimes sit there and wonder what job they are actually doing. I was offered moves into the senior management side but thankfully followed my engineering roots. So I am effectively at the same level but dont get half the aggro. Its probably more difficult not to dumb things down if Im honest, though I can go into science mode to prove a point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 The following is a statement from The scottish Government What it reall means is that when procuring services you should consider local business how ever you have tosay and do this There is duty considering, before the commencement of a procurement exercise, how, the procurement exercise might improve the economic, social and environmental well-being of the authority’s area. It also requires a contracting authority to consider how, by the way it conducts the procurement process, it might facilitate the involvement of small and medium enterprises, third sector bodies and supported businesses, and also how it can promote innovation. Most of this is contract language or legal speak. Which generally makes little sense to anyone that doesnt have a reasonable grasp of what it says. I lose count of the amount I have read and wondered what it meant until I eventually figured it out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 All of them! I've worked with and for Americans for too long now ... annual leave still bugs me and I refuse to acknowledge it. One of my team sent me a request for their "annual leave", I declined and told them to ask properly. I'm hilarious. I've started saying "reach out to" and "loop in" too much as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deano6 Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 To be fair, Depeche Mode were singing "Reach out and touch base" back in 1989! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Most of this is contract language or legal speak. Which generally makes little sense to anyone that doesnt have a reasonable grasp of what it says. I lose count of the amount I have read and wondered what it meant until I eventually figured it out It's understandable, but it's just so damn wordy. I reckon this how half of these buzzwords and phrases get started. Someone looking for a point of difference which sadly enough, everyone else copies. "Ducks in a row" would actually be quite amusing if you'd only ever heard it once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 To be fair, Depeche Mode were singing "Reach out and touch base" back in 1989! Don't dis Depeche Mode unfairly, Deano6. They sung "Reach out and touch faith". Don't saddle them with this boll*cks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swisscottager Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 I have had the pleasure of working for lots of the big retailers over the past 25 years and am always amazed at the cack language they love to use but their inability to speak basic English. I find that using the shorthand ' J F D I ' usually works in getting a message across to my team although the customers claim to have never heard of it ! Anyone who over uses the office speak jargon is told to bugger off and sign up to 'talking ******.com'. It generally works but people get easily upset these days and accuse me of being a dinosaur but hey ho! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viking Warrior Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Crack on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGTL Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Working with kids all day all I hear is the equally annoying "reem", "mint" or "lush"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 It's understandable, but it's just so damn wordy. I reckon this how half of these buzzwords and phrases get started. Someone looking for a point of difference which sadly enough, everyone else copies. "Ducks in a row" would actually be quite amusing if you'd only ever heard it once. Depends on what it describes, as it has to be overly desceiptive to avoid being torn apart in court. Most of my disdain about this however is because of following ACOPs ad verbatim or trying to piece together procedures and H&S paperwork from them. Not just the buzzwords though, the missus comes back from work and tells me stories of the office. Its certainly one environment I never want the displeasure of working Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Working with kids all day all I hear is the equally annoying "reem", "mint" or "lush"... "sick". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 "sick". Sick is behind the times according to Juvenile Unit #1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Working with kids all day all I hear is the equally annoying "reem", "mint" or "lush"... Is reem good or bad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 They aren't on there but two of my personal hates are deep dive and share of wallet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Sick is behind the times according to Juvenile Unit #1. It's Stoke. It's still the 1980s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 There's our big annual IT Trade Show in Dubai this week. In reality it is a chance to NETWORK. (ie get invites to parties with free booze) I'm having a great time being kind of independent this year walking onto Exhibition stands and asking So, what do you see as the major Disruptive Technology in your Market Space this year.... It's like playing bullsh1t bingo in the old days.... All I'm actually doing is asking "So who do you see as your biggest Competitor?" Oh and another lovely BS phrase? The Cloud........ If I had a Dirham for everyone that has told me about how the Cloud will change the planet.... But we're in Dubai, we don't have Clouds I say..... Luvin it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 There's our big annual IT Trade Show in Dubai this week. In reality it is a chance to NETWORK. (ie get invites to parties with free booze) I'm having a great time being kind of independent this year walking onto Exhibition stands and asking So, what do you see as the major Disruptive Technology in your Market Space this year.... It's like playing bullsh1t bingo in the old days.... All I'm actually doing is asking "So who do you see as your biggest Competitor?" Oh and another lovely BS phrase? The Cloud........ If I had a Dirham for everyone that has told me about how the Cloud will change the planet.... But we're in Dubai, we don't have Clouds I say..... Luvin it You Arabs are a couple of years behind pal, it's all about BYOD and SDN this year.still I'm sure you'll find that out on the golf course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmel Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 You Arabs are a couple of years behind pal, it's all about BYOD and SDN this year.still I'm sure you'll find that out on the golf course. :scared: This is my world turks.....**** off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LVSaint Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 Same shit different day, that's mine. Exsqueeze me instead of Excuse me, and wank you very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 23 October, 2013 Share Posted 23 October, 2013 We're supposed to be "proactive" and "think around" our problems in my job now. Horrifying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 24 October, 2013 Share Posted 24 October, 2013 Same shit different day, that's mine. Exsqueeze me instead of Excuse me, and wank you very much. You might not be cut out for pimping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Duckhunter Posted 24 October, 2013 Share Posted 24 October, 2013 "play in" is one my boss uses all the time. " im just going to play in blah blah blah" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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